Refeathering the Empty Nest: Life After the Children Leave

by Wendy Aronsson

Many parents have demonstrated a desire to parent skillfully and artfully. They read the latest child development and parenting books, configure their schedules to accommodate the social and educational lives of their children, and focus like lasers on their childrens’ well-being. Many have made an enormous emotional and financial investment in raising their children. But children grow up, they move out, they create their own lives and their own homes. The role of the parent changes, diminishes, and evolves.

The life phase that begins in preparation for an “empty nest” and continues until parents re-feather the nest has no official name, yet it represents a profound shift from the rigors of daily parenting to a period of self-reflection and reorientation. Here, Wendy Aronsson centers on that experience, capturing the realities of the emotions and life changes that come on gradually, and sometimes proceed in fits and starts.

Refeathering the Empty Nest is for any parent preparing for the departure from home of their youngest child. It is for those who wish to move forward productively, both in their new parenting role and in their roles as spouse, employee, friend, neighbor, and self. Using real stories throughout, Aronsson shows how people have managed these changes, how they’ve reignited the passion in their marriages or moved on from bad matches, how they’ve rediscovered old interests and talents, and how they’ve reinvented their relationships with their children as well. These stories provide hope and guidance to anyone whose nest is about to empty as well as those whose nests already are.

Genres: Nonfiction, Adult

192 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2014

Reviews

[Debbie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book talks of the 'shift'-- the shift defined as a change in lifestyle and expectations brought about by an empty nest--where kids leave and move on as they become young adults. The author makes some good points about parents' feelings and responses, and she provides advice on how to handle kids as they move into young adulthood.

But she lost me when she addressed how parents, mainly moms, can adjust and adapt to the empty nest phase. Though her intention likely was to stimulate thought on the next 'shift' in parents lives, it comes across as unrealistic and disingenuous. Several of the examples she uses to illustrate women in the next phase, are moms who have reinvented themselves by 'rediscovering their careers' (pg 119) after their kids left home, and include either celebrities, such as Meridith Vieira or other accomplished women such as a well-known beauty blogger and entrepreneur DebbieDiva, and authors. How disconcerting. These are not average American women. Far from being inspired, I fell more deflated than elated. :(

In fairness the book has some good points, is well researched providing some statistics on the empty nest phase of life, and has some interesting facts on empty nest parents revealed by Aronsson's survey she conducted among 200 empty nest parents.

[Jean Brazil · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just okay. No real new ideas.

[Tina Chooses Joy · Rating 2 out of 5]

In this book, I found a few encouraging words to remind me that I'm not alone when I miss the younger years.

[Amy]

A wonderful read on this topic, very helpful!