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WINNING WITH HONOUR: IN RELATIONSHIPS, FAMILY, ORGANISATIONS, LEADERSHIP, AND LIFE
Following the success of their first book The Leader, The Teacher, & You, which won the Singapore Literature Book Prize in the Non-Fiction Category in 2014, Siong Guan Lim and Joanne Lim have collaborated again to produce their new book Winning with Honour in In Relationships, Family, Business, Leadership, and Life. The book speaks about how the virtue of Honour brings success in the life of nations, communities, families and self. It draws together a whole collection of wisdom which show how Honour can bring value to government, business, work, family, marriage, parenthood, dating, and the manifold aspects of life. This is not a self-help book, but a book which shows that other-centredness, as opposed to me-centredness, brings happiness and purpose to living. The authors share why they believe that Honour is the essential quality that has enabled Singapore to come so far since its independence in 1965, and has distinguished Singapore from many nations in the world to become the world's strongest nation brand in 2015. The authors believe that honour is not only required for the survival and success of the nation, but also for successful relationships, families, businesses, organizations and lives.The book draws wisdom from the ancients and religion, as well as from contemporary authors and commentators, and seeks to raise the consciousness about Honour in our lives in its two perspectives of being people who Honour our Word and Honour Each Other. It is about winning in life and work by practising and promoting Honour — in short, it is about Winning with Honour. We win because we believe in, and practise, Honour. In the first part of the book, "Singapore: Small City, Small State," the authors describe the important role that honour has played in the Singapore story since independence, and also considers the current state of values in Singapore and the possible scenarios should honour not be honoured.In the second part of the book "Honour: Small Thought, Big Idea," the authors explore what honour is and why honour is important for strong individuals, strong families, strong communities, strong organizations, and strong nations.In part three of the book, the authors explore how honouring our word and honouring each other in our relationships enables us to Win With Honour in Family, Business, Organizations, Leadership and Life. The book brings up many examples and experiences in the context of Singapore, whose geography, demographics, and lack of natural resources dictate the possibilities for the country, and the urgency to be prepared and to be unique for the future. These are features which might not apply to larger countries elsewhere in the world. But the lessons are applicable everywhere in the world. This book should therefore not be thought as a book about Singapore. Rather, Singapore of the past 50 years should be viewed as a microcosm of the real world, a living test-bed, and a demonstration of what is possible if imagination and human enterprise are coupled with honour.
- GenresNonfiction
472 pages, Hardcover
Published May 5, 2016
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
October 30, 2016
This book builds upon his previous work "The Leader, The Teacher, and You", such that if you've read that you'll find yourself skimming through sections of this. However the central thread of honour that runs through the core of this tome resonated really strongly with me. Especially insightful was the distinction between honour (what we offer) and trust / respect (what we reciprocate)
____________________
Honour is something we offer to others, while trust and respect is our reaction to someone.
Trust is the currency of all long term relationships, and honour is the foundation of trust.
Technology does not have ethics, but society depends on it.
In a VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex, ambiguous) world, we need to:
Honour a "life compass" based on values and principles
Develop self confidence and sound judgement
Have the courage to be different from others
Adopt a realistic view of people
Nurture a capacity to build relationships
Marriage is a mirror that reflects our character flaws and weaknesses, and is a great sounding board for the areas of our lives that we need to change. We need to have the humility to where we need to change, instead of blaming our spouses for bringing out the worst in us.
Marriage has stages, and knowing about these enables one to better understand the dynamics in the relationship, and to take constructive action to strengthen the marriage according to the stage it is in.
The essence of leadership is other-centredness
The role of a parent is to help their child find their special place in this world by providing a safe, loving and non-judgemental environment for them to build up their self-confidence and self-esteem by exploring, experimenting and experiencing life.
Teachers have the task of developing the whole child, which means not just academically but also socially, emotionally and morally. When parents challenge the authority of teachers, they undermine the ability of teachers complement what the child has learnt or to make up for what the parents had failed to do right.
成人，成才，成功
The responsibility for identity, self-confidence and the courage to be different lies primarily with fathers. And these qualities are absolutely critical for children to succeed in a increasingly VUCA world.
不力行，但学文，长浮华，成何人
If I do not actively practice what I have learnt, but continue to study on the surface, even though my knowledge is increasing, it is only superficial. What kind of person will I be?
History indicates that nations decline not because its people do not have a conscience, but decline because of:
-A weakening sense of duty
-An increase in selfishness and the desire for wealth and ease
Moral norms weren't destroyed because of people with bad values. They were destroyed by a plague of non-judgmentalism, which refused to assert that one way of behaving was better than another. People got out of the habit of setting standards or understanding how they are set.
____________________
Honour is something we offer to others, while trust and respect is our reaction to someone.
Trust is the currency of all long term relationships, and honour is the foundation of trust.
Technology does not have ethics, but society depends on it.
In a VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex, ambiguous) world, we need to:
Honour a "life compass" based on values and principles
Develop self confidence and sound judgement
Have the courage to be different from others
Adopt a realistic view of people
Nurture a capacity to build relationships
Marriage is a mirror that reflects our character flaws and weaknesses, and is a great sounding board for the areas of our lives that we need to change. We need to have the humility to where we need to change, instead of blaming our spouses for bringing out the worst in us.
Marriage has stages, and knowing about these enables one to better understand the dynamics in the relationship, and to take constructive action to strengthen the marriage according to the stage it is in.
The essence of leadership is other-centredness
The role of a parent is to help their child find their special place in this world by providing a safe, loving and non-judgemental environment for them to build up their self-confidence and self-esteem by exploring, experimenting and experiencing life.
Teachers have the task of developing the whole child, which means not just academically but also socially, emotionally and morally. When parents challenge the authority of teachers, they undermine the ability of teachers complement what the child has learnt or to make up for what the parents had failed to do right.
成人，成才，成功
The responsibility for identity, self-confidence and the courage to be different lies primarily with fathers. And these qualities are absolutely critical for children to succeed in a increasingly VUCA world.
不力行，但学文，长浮华，成何人
If I do not actively practice what I have learnt, but continue to study on the surface, even though my knowledge is increasing, it is only superficial. What kind of person will I be?
History indicates that nations decline not because its people do not have a conscience, but decline because of:
-A weakening sense of duty
-An increase in selfishness and the desire for wealth and ease
Moral norms weren't destroyed because of people with bad values. They were destroyed by a plague of non-judgmentalism, which refused to assert that one way of behaving was better than another. People got out of the habit of setting standards or understanding how they are set.
April 1, 2018
Quite impressed by this book.
Mr Lim Siong Guan served for many years in the public service. After retirement, he continued to advocate for a values-based approach to life and work (e.g. "Honour Singapore"). This book collects the material he delivered in his various speeches, including in his S R Nathan lectures, as well as to the SAF during our leadership dining-in (formal dinner), Pride Day (productivity movement), and a talk I hosted.
I can't say I was an early convert to his views, but three things changed my mind. One, the clarity and simplicity of his arguments (unsurprising, since he had decreed all policy papers to be limited to three pages). Second, his personal earnestness and humility (e.g. taking the MRT to work). Third, the subjugation of his personal constraints to work commitments (e.g. I bumped into him at his granddaughter's honours day, but he left before she ascended the stage, in order to arrive at our event in good time).
The book itself is easy reading and sets out his views to life. These are based on a respect for honour, and for fulfilling one's roles, as a parent, as a citizen, as a leader, and as a person. Nothing ground breaking, but the text speaks with the authority and wisdom of someone who was walked the road himself, and who continues to live with purpose --- or in his own word, with honour.
Mr Lim Siong Guan served for many years in the public service. After retirement, he continued to advocate for a values-based approach to life and work (e.g. "Honour Singapore"). This book collects the material he delivered in his various speeches, including in his S R Nathan lectures, as well as to the SAF during our leadership dining-in (formal dinner), Pride Day (productivity movement), and a talk I hosted.
I can't say I was an early convert to his views, but three things changed my mind. One, the clarity and simplicity of his arguments (unsurprising, since he had decreed all policy papers to be limited to three pages). Second, his personal earnestness and humility (e.g. taking the MRT to work). Third, the subjugation of his personal constraints to work commitments (e.g. I bumped into him at his granddaughter's honours day, but he left before she ascended the stage, in order to arrive at our event in good time).
The book itself is easy reading and sets out his views to life. These are based on a respect for honour, and for fulfilling one's roles, as a parent, as a citizen, as a leader, and as a person. Nothing ground breaking, but the text speaks with the authority and wisdom of someone who was walked the road himself, and who continues to live with purpose --- or in his own word, with honour.
February 24, 2026
Good concepts but slightly high brow and possibly not relatable by those whose Maslow hierarchy of needs have not exceeded that of basic physiological and safety needs. Perhaps we need to begin with a more basic respect as the need of humanity since respect protects dignity and forms the baseline of humanity, not just a reaction as Mr Lim phrased it as.
Overall still a lot of respect for the author for trying to advocate what is important for culture building at the higher levels
Overall still a lot of respect for the author for trying to advocate what is important for culture building at the higher levels
January 7, 2017
A great read. Written in plain and simple English, the book provides insights into the concept of Honour and how it plays out in our daily life.
January 1, 2020
Did not finish. I got to the chapter on Honoring Families and our first relationships and couldn’t continue. I get the concept but it’s overly preachy.
July 31, 2016
Honour. Bla bla bla. Nag nag nag. Feels like a topic from your old uncle.
But stop, listen. I would have Mr Lim as an uncle whom I would listen to any day. This is a well-read man, who has thought through life. I didn't expect much from this book, but this book still manage to expose me to many new topics.
We take it for granted. All we need to focus on is to make a good living and then it will be fine. However, it is important to make a good life. A life with honour. Without virtues but with all the money in the world, the society, the environment for which you make your living will go away in time.
But stop, listen. I would have Mr Lim as an uncle whom I would listen to any day. This is a well-read man, who has thought through life. I didn't expect much from this book, but this book still manage to expose me to many new topics.
We take it for granted. All we need to focus on is to make a good living and then it will be fine. However, it is important to make a good life. A life with honour. Without virtues but with all the money in the world, the society, the environment for which you make your living will go away in time.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews