Approaching the End of Life: A Practical and Spiritual Guide

by Donna Schaper

In her more than forty years as a minister, Rev. Donna Schaper has been approached hundreds of times by people wanting to know how to prepare for the end of life in both practical and spiritual matters. Countless others have turned to her for guidance on how to handle the death of a loved one. From making a will and planning a memorial service to finding peace in the toughest circumstances, Approaching the End of Life offers practical and spiritual guidance to anyone wrestling with the end of a life.

With sensitivity and humor Rev. Schaper helps readers face aging and mortality with freedom rather than fear. She encourages readers to find a spiritual home of some kind—even if it is far from the doors of a church—and offers helpful suggestions on memorials and funeral services that will be well suited to the departed while serving the loved ones in their grief and celebration. The book also includes practical resources such as a service planning checklist, a template for a funeral or memorial service, and more.

Genres: Nonfiction

206 pages, Hardcover

First published May 21, 2015

Reviews

[Mark Hartzer · Rating 4 out of 5]

A gentle and well meaning book. While not everything here is terrific, and some chapters border on wrongheaded, by and large Schaper does an excellent job of making one think and plan for their ultimate demise.

Several special items of note:
1.) Her 'opinionated' template for a funeral or memorial service;
2.) A possible budget for a funeral or memorial service;
3.) 'Stardust to stardust' is much more lovely than 'dust to dust' plus she gives credit to Carl Sagan &
4.) A wonderful quote from one of my favorite philosophers, William Ellery Channing.

“This is my vow: To live content with small means, to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion, to be worthy not respectable, to be wealthy, not rich, to think quietly, talk gently, act frankly, to listen to stars and sages, babes and birds, and to do all bravely, to await occasion, hurry never... in a world, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common. Let this be my symphony.”

Yes.

[Cyndie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I used this book as the basis for a class I led on Approaching the End of Life. Personally, I found that the author and I have quite a theological departure when it comes to spirituality and the end of life and planning memorial services, etc. But it was a good launching point for me.

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rev. Dr. Donna Schaper is one of the daily devotional writers for the United Church of Christ and I enjoy her writing there, but I really think she shines more in longer book forms. I've thought about many of the topics in this book but it was good to read her take and hear the stories from her experience. Takeaways from this book for me include:
"ashes to ashes, stardust to stardust" -- Schaper's twist on the traditional graveside line (8)
Hospices's "5 things you should say to a dying loved one: thank you, I love you, please forgive me, I forgive you, and goodbye" (62)
A spiritual practice has 3 characteristics: it is a deepening of the always and the everyday; it is pretty much anything that tussles with the pragmatic and takes it deeper than utility; it makes you aware of what you thought you knew but forget over and over. (114)
some great ideas on prayer (116-117)
a checklist for planning funerals and memorial services (173-176)

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book most interesting and full of valuable information in getting yourself and your things ready for the end of life...whether it's for your end, or in helping a family member or friend get things in order. It's a good tool for helping you change your perspective and approach to the end of life.

My dad passed away almost 4 weeks ago now, and I wished I had read this book quite awhile ago, when he was sent to Hospice over 2 years ago (he graduated from hospice to survive another year in a nursing home and a short stay in his own home before dying).

Not only is the book filled with good advice, it also makes you laugh in reading what some people think about the end of life.

[Lynne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was delightful...ashes to ashes, stardust to stardust, in the words of the author.

Not just a book on dying, but on living fully until death...

[Sharon · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some good ideas, but she lost me in a lot of this book