Hold On

by Alan Gibbons

When Annie returns from an extended stay in Canada, she discovers that her friend John has killed himself. Annie is devastated by his death and is determined to confront those she believes responsible—a group of boys from her school, who bullied John mercilessly in the months before he died. But Annie's parents and friends don't share her wish to bring the boys to justice. She finds herself treading a lonely path—and soon discovers that nothing is straightforward. She is helplessly attracted to one of the boys, and when she reads John's diary, it's clear they weren't the only ones to cause him so much unhappiness. The novel tells John's story as a tragic waste of a young life in an unsentimental and compassionate way, but also tells Annie's story about moving on and looking towards the future.

Genres: Young Adult, Mental Health, Death, Contemporary

176 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 2005

About the author

Alan Gibbons is an author of children's books and a Blue Peter Book Award. He currently lives in Liverpool, England, where he used to teach in a primary school. His father was a farm laborer, but was hurt in an accident when Alan was eight years old. The family had to move to Crewe, Cheshire where Alan experienced bullying for the first time. He began to write for his pupils as a teacher, but never tried to get any of his work published.

Gibbons trained to be a teacher in his mid-thirties and starting writing short stories for his students. Later, he began to write professionally. In 2000, he won the Blue Peter Book Award in the category "The Book I Couldn't Put Down" category for Shadow of the Minotaur. He was a judge for the 2001 Blue Peter Book Awards. He was shortlisted for the Carnegie Medal in 2001 and 2003 and shortlisted twice for the Booktrust Teenage Prize. He has also won the Leicester Book of the Year, the Stockport Book Award, the Angus Book Award, the Catalyst Award, the Birmingham Chills Award, the Salford Young Adult Book Award and the Salford Librarians' Special Award.

Reviews

[Quill&Queer · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Everywhere you look there are thousands of people making do, getting by. Then, every once in a while, there is somebody like John, somebody who can't do it any longer. You hear them break, like a precious vase dropped during an auction. People look away, embarrassed."

[Stephanie (Stepping Out Of The Page) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I will be honest and say that, at first look, I wasn't expecting all that much from this book. At first look, Hold On is a very thin book and it has the accolade of being a 'Blue Peter Book Award Winner' on the front cover - I thought that this would mean it would be perhaps a little juvenile for me. However, as soon as I read the blurb, I knew that this was a book that I'd have to give a go!

My favourite books are those that feature real emotion and problems and this book certainly fits that description. Hold On tells the story of John, a boy who has committed suicide. We are told the story through John's friend, Annie, who finds John's diary, describing the last weeks of his life. Through this way of narrative, we got to learn a lot about both characters. I enjoyed the way this was written - it was a little different, it was simple and it worked extremely well. I was a little worried that it might have become a little confusing but it didn't at all, it was very easy to follow despite the complexity of the story.

I enjoyed reading about Annie and John equally. I thought that both characters were interesting and very well developed, despite the shortness of the book. Though the story is a mere 176 pages, the whole story managed to have such fantastic depth, something that I didn't expect but was really impressed with. It was also interesting to see the impact of bullying on two different people - the victim (John) and the friend of the victim (Annie). Gibbons did a wonderful job of portraying a difficult situation very realistically. Though Annie may have acted a little controversially to the bullies after John's death, I thought it was realistic and effective. It was also interesting to see how other people (teachers, friends and family members) were coming to terms with John's death too.

This is a book that certainly surprised me as it was much, much better than I thought a short book could be. This novel is dealt with a serious situation well and I'd imagine could be a very influential book. This one is definitely not a light hearted read, but it is an important one which is emotional and packs a punch. I would certainly not hesitate to pick up another book by Gibbons who has truly impressed me. Highly recommended!

[Peter Watkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hold On is exactly as Young Adult fiction should be. It manages to touch on some very serious issues such as bullying, suicide and even marriage affairs without being too explicit for children to read. It's a very accessible book, made even more so by the structure: which switches between John's diary entries and Annie's narrative. I found the book interesting from beginning to end and was rewarded with a great revelatory twist that closes the story and helps to explain some of the relationships and actions we see within. My only issue with this book would be the writing, as at times it can come across as a little repetitive and, whenever it did, I was somewhat pulled out of the moment.

I think that Alan Gibbons told a really impactful story here, one that could influence the way young people treat each other and lead to more kindness in our schools and neighbourhoods. It is all done very nicely, with space between some of the harsher accounts of bullying to prevent the reader from getting fatigued. Equally there is little to no swearing, about as bad as it gets is the word "bitch", and this ensures that the story is acceptable to be read even in the classroom.

[Aisy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I like the way the author describes how the details of life John's having. It does match with the title itself. I must appreciate this Alan's piece of art. What a touchy yet hard ending it got. Rate it low not because of the quality of the storyline.. It's just that I think it should be more compelling to deserve more stars.

[nickiknackinoo · Rating 1 out of 5]

Just wasn't for me. I found it really hard to get into. I flicked through but it was still the main character talking which was the same as the beginning which as I've said was hard work. Sorry.

[amelia · Rating 3 out of 5]

very sad but important.

[Lyndsey O'Halloran · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really have to be in the mood to read something like this, considering the topic. Because of this, I had put off reading it for a little while but after not fancying much else on my shelf one night, this is what I went for and it made me sad that I had left it there for so long once I was finished.

Hold On tells the stories of John and Annie. The book is told through a dual narrative, Annie telling her side of things and John from the perspective of a diary. I really enjoyed the way that this was done as it was a bit different from the norm. Many books have dual narration but this is usually done straight from each characters point of view. The use of a diary broke the story up a bit and it also stopped us having two characters just telling us what was going on.

This is a story about the lead up to bullying, the actual bullying and what can happen when things get out of hand. The story is told in different parts and the timeline is quite jumbled but I liked this. Alan Gibbons jumps from the past to the present and back again numerous times and this gives the story a quick pace and an interesting story. Through Annie’s eyes, we get to see how she met John and what happened to him because of the bullying. Through John’s eyes, we get to see how he feels about himself, others around him and his life in general.

Hold On really has an important issue running throughout which is obviously bullying. At times, this was a book which was extremely hard to read due to the subject matter. I hated reading about what other kids could do to someone without realising the effects it would have on them, and also seeing them not even care. I hated seeing John so upset and not knowing how to cope with anything. I hated that there was nothing Annie could do to help until it was too late. Gibbons puts so much emotion into his characters that it would extremely hard to not feel for them and wish things had been different.

Due to the way that this story is told, it does get a little complex and slightly confusing at times but not for long. When new things become apparent about John and Annie, they are quickly explained so that things don’t get too muddled up in your head. Gibbons also has a wonderful way with words and somehow manages to make a story that is so hard hitting into something breath-taking and beautiful. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and want more from this author now!

[Beth Kemp · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tense YA thiller with themes of bullying and suicide

This short novel packs a real emotional punch. Using a first person present tense narrator - Annie, alongside diary extracts and the occasional poem written by John, her friend who committed suicide, there is a stifling closeness to the book. Just as Annie cannot 'get over it' or 'move on', we are locked in with her and want justice for John just as much as she does. The two voices also contrast beautifully, reflecting the two personalities: Annie's narration is crisp and sharp, while John's voice is lyrical and emotional.

The book opens at the beginning of a new school year, with John having committed suicide in the summer. Annie has been overseas for a year, during which time she met up with John by chance, and she is now returning to school, determined to seek justice. His story is gradually revealed through his diary, which Annie snatches the chance to read at his house.

Annie is a great character - loyal, determined, outraged on her friend's behalf. Her certainty that John's killers (as she sees them) must be recognised as such and punished drives her to be bold and to break some of the unwritten rules of high school. Her absolute conviction that John's death was effectively murder doesn't seem to be shared by others and it is clear from the start that if she wants to resume a normal high school existence, she will have to give up her crusade and just fit in, like everyone else. The fact that one of John's bullies - the most popular boys in the year - shows an interest in Annie cranks up the tension another notch.

I am sure that many teens will enjoy this book, and that it will provoke many to consider its themes in more depth. It would be a great class read, as there are so many opportunities for a probing 'what would you do?' discussion, or to discuss concepts such as guilt and responsibility. The circumstances of John's bullying, of his death, and of Annie's campaign are absolutely convincing and realistic. Teen readers will have no problems imagining that this could happen in their school, unfortunately.

Overall, I would definitely recommend this book to teens and up. This is a book that should be in every secondary school library.

[Pamela Todd · Rating 5 out of 5]

As always, a book by Alan Gibbons packs a powerful punch. And Hold On is no different. Annie is a girl who is neither popular nor unpopular. She is an ordinary girl with ordinary friends. Until she meets John, a boy from her school, whilst on holiday in Florida. She has always known about John and how he gets a little teased, but it is only in getting to know him does she realise how much she didn’t know. For one thing, she likes him. He becomes a good friend and she finds him clever and funny, but perhaps a little intense.

For John, becoming friends with Annie was like finally seeing the sun after a decade of rain. His life was miserable and she made it worth living. He develops a crush on her that he believes is reciprocated. John starts telling Annie how his life really is. What the group of boys who has it in for him call him, what they do, how they beat him. And she sees for herself how he is treated around his family.

And after the holiday ends, and real life starts again, John can’t take it anymore. And so he decides he won’t anymore.

When Annie discovers that John has killed himself, she knows exactly who is to blame. And she vows to make it right.

I thought about Hold On for a long time after I finished the book. Whilst short in length I felt as though I had been reading it for weeks. John and Annie became very vivid and real in such a short space of time.

Bullying is such a serious issue and I believe writing about it has to be done in a very careful way. What I admire about Hold On is its bravery to say it exactly how it is. This book will touch a lot of people, and hopefully make other people more aware of their actions and the consequences.

[Nicky · Rating 3 out of 5]

The star rating is a bit of a lie, with this one. I didn't like it at all, in the sense that it made me uncomfortable and unhappy. My sister wanted me to read it, so I did, but I didn't need to. The actual details of John's life don't really matter so much as the fact that this story happens, every day -- is happening right now. I just spent the whole day answering my sister's phone for her, in case the bullies called her again so I could try and tell them to back off. It's funny, because I've been in both John's shoes and in the shoes of his parents and teachers.

In a way, I think it's a true story. It doesn't have to have really happened in that place with those names and the exact circumstances for that.

It's definitely a book for younger readers. I'd say about age fourteen. It'd be nice to think it could change something, make one kid more understanding and ready to be Annie. At twenty, reading it, it makes me feel like the scared kid again. Maybe this is just the right time to read it and understand -- my parents have forgotten what school was like, at their age, and yet I'm grown up enough to understand a bit better. It's worth reading, I think, in an attempt to understand, even if I winced sometimes at the melodrama or the heavy-handedness. There was truth in it. That's why it gets three stars -- a balance between my gladness that such a story is told, and the discomfort from seeing myself and my sister in it.

I can't be less than personal about this kind of story, so I don't know how helpful my review will be to anyone else.

[Josie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book really got me thinking about so much.
1) Bullying and the effects it has on people. Some people may think that when they are 'harmlessly' picking on someone that it is harmless, but it's really not. I've been bullied so I know what that's like, but I never had it as bad as the main character of this book.
2) Teenage life. I was a teenage when I read this, so even though the character who was bullied and committed suicide was a boy, I felt I could relate to how he felt about being bullied. I also felt it was easy to relate to Annie - his best friend who was determined to find out what it was that tipped him over the edge.
3) The power of words. I've loved reading all my life, but when I finished reading this book for the first time I realllly found myself thinking about the power of words. Because this book had me so gripped and made me think about so many things about reality it had me amazed at how simple words can make the reader laugh and cry with the character, or simple just make the reading believe every word that is said because it make such sense.

I'd recommend this book to any teenager, boy or girl, it's a book about life!

[Simone · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is strange in a way because the main character of the book, is not the fundamental character which the events of the book revolve around. That character is the boy that committed suicide, but he didn't mean to, because all he was doing was crying out for help.

It was an enjoyable, and a heart breaking read at the same time. I'm glad that Annie figured it all out in the end, and I'm glad that one way or another the pain ended for John, but I wish that it didn't have to have been because he died.

The way that he was treated at school reminded me of myself, because I have been bullied for years - and people who haven't just don't understand just how much it hurts. The people that do the hurting don't understand either, because to them it's just a game, something to entertain them.

In the end Gibbons got the feeling of the book right; he hit the nail on the head. Its a very good book, a painful read, but good.

[Amna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Even though I read this book a long time ago, I still remember how much I liked it. I even chose to present it in my book report during high school. At first, though, I hesitated about reading it since I generally don't enjoy books that involve suicide. But after getting a recommendation of the book, I decided to check it out. Since this involves suicide, of course it's a little heart breaking. But it also shows you the impact of bullying on people and how one simple word can affect others in ways we can't imagine. (This isn't a spoiler, but the cause of John's suicide wasn't entirely from being bullied.) It taught me a lot, and it also proved the theory of people needing to lean on others during hard times. There's nothing wrong about seeking help from others, especially from friends and family. Overall, this book made me feel happy, sad, content with my life, and helped me see that there may be other sides to people than what I see.
PS: I absolutely love John <3 .

[Lara Vehar · Rating 4 out of 5]

I honestly liked this book a lot. The only thing that I didn't like was the ending as it felt a little rushed.

The story is different and interesting.

The main characters are John, who is bullied in school and lives in a broken family and who commited suicide and his friend Annie. Annie is telling the story through reading John's diary. I really like the books that read as the diary so that's also why I liked this book. It was easy to read and the story was really interesting, especially the part where Annie is conflicted about weather she should love one of the bullies or not. But as I said before the ending felt a little bit rushed to me and I wanted to see more I guess, but I still liked the book and would still recommand you to read it if you haven't yet.

[Aleesha · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good moving read, John kills himself and Annie is solving the mystery. Gives a strong message out about bullying, not the best book i have read but if you have time read it , Alan Gibbons has written a brilliant book for a sad story line like this one.

[Bef · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was good for a quick read but it wasn't a must read. The ending was disappointing and rushed.