For Better Forever, Revised and Expanded: A Catholic Guide to Lifelong Marriage

by Gregory K. Popcak

The book that has helped couples all over the world discover new joy, intimacy, and satisfaction in their marriages is now revised and expanded. Learn the way to achieve "happily ever after" by integrating cutting-edge psychology with a clear articulation of the Catholic vision of love and marriage.

Genres: Marriage, Catholic, Nonfiction, Religion, Relationships, Christian, Family

256 pages, Paperback

First published February 1, 1999

About the author

Dr. Gregory Popcak is the Executive Director of the Pastoral Solutions Institute, an organization dedicated to helping Catholics find faith-filled solutions to tough marriage, family, and personal problems. The author of over a dozen popular books integrating solid Catholic theology and counseling psychology (including; For Better…FOREVER!, Holy Sex!, Parenting with Grace, Beyond the Birds and the Bees), Dr. Popcak is an expert on the practical applications of the Theology of the Body. Through the Pastoral Solutions Institute, he directs a group pastoral tele-counseling practice that provides ongoing pastoral psychotherapy services to Catholic couples, individuals and families around the world. Since 2001, he and his wife and co-author, Lisa Popcak, have hosted several nationally-syndicated, call-in radio advice programs including Heart, Mind and Strength (Ave Maria Radio 2001-2010), Fully Alive! (Sirius/XM-The Catholic Channel 2007-2010), and most recently, More2Life (Ave Maria Radio–Airing M-F, Noon-1pm Eastern– 2010-Present). They have also hosted two for EWTN (For Better…FOREVER! & God Help Me!). Dr. Popcak’s articles appear regularly in Catholic periodicals such as Catholic Digest, Family Foundations, and others. Dr. Greg Popcak and Lisa Popcak are sought after public speakers and trainers and have been honored to address audiences across North America, Australia, and Hong Kong.

In addition to his ministry work, Dr. Popcak serves as adjunct faculty for the Franciscan University of Steubenville in both the sociology and graduate theology departments where he teaches Christianity & Society and Pastoral & Spiritual Direction respectively. He also serves on the faculty of the doctor of social work program for the Harold Abel School of Behavioral Health at Capella University.

Reviews

[Matthew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Difficult to implement into daily life but worth it. This book helped me to realize that if I want the romance to return to my marriage, I need to start. Instead of complaining or resenting my wife, I need to embrace what it means to truly be self-donative and selflessly love her as God loves her.

[Lori Guerin · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favorite types of books, combining authentic Catholic teachings with psychology and science, this is an excellent guide to learning how to pray your marriage. A good resource to discover what challenges you likely need to overcome to continue making your marriage better and holier. Though I think Popcak makes a lot of highly generalized assessments about certain “types” of relationships, he has a lot of experience helping couples in all situations grow in holiness and care for each other. Will be returning to these pages should parenting or time lead me and my husband to forget what healthy problem solving/arguing should look like.

[Margo · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 factors set great married couples apart - relationship skills and life experience
Cohabitations is no good because couples slide into it
Marriages run into issues when we’re addicted to comfort and not changing and thinking our partners will never change

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs vs popcak’s relationship pathway:
Actualization - romantic peer relationship
Respect/esteem - partnership marriage
Love/belonging - apprenticeship marriage
Safety/security - lifeboat marriage
Basic needs - crises marriage

Stages of married life 0-.5 - honeymoon
.3-5 - conflict and negotiation stage
4-8 new pattern
7-15 creative
14-25 homecoming
20-30 launching
30-45 second honeymoon
45+ happily ever after

Love:
1. Love assumes positive intention
2. Love is always present
3. Love catches its lover being goofy
4. Love is a full time job
5. Love is willing yo make itself uncomfortable
6. Love takes care of itself
7. Love is tactfully honest
8. Love is safe
9. Love is willing to fake it till you make it
10. Love is generous
11. Love laughs
12. Love is not a feeling

[Elizabeth Warner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honestly one of the best resources for married people and for those who are discerning marriage. Incorporates the Catholic view of marriage with advice that help a married couple- no matter what state there marriage is in. Practical and very well explained. Highly recommend.

[Bailey Hoese]

A lot of the material was the same as the pre cana course my husband and I took, however it was still a good refresher.

[Nicolette Froelicher · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked the book and actually thought it was a lot better than I thought it was going to be. The reason why I didn't give it 5 stars was because well sometimes It made me mad reading it but it was a good mad and at those times I did get mad I had to put it down for a while till I cooled off and life was better and then I would pick it up again and that is why it took me a while to read. I do think this is a wonderful and a necessary book to read for anyone in a relationship or married or or even single.It will prepare you and help you even if you aren't catholic. His lessons are pretty basic to me. It makes sense. and I like the fact that it isn't so forced catholic I guess you could say if you get what I am saying. Wonderful book!!!

[Betsy Dion · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book contains a lot of great info, but a lot of it I already knew from the good example of my parents and from listening to the Popchak's radio show. Still worth a read, and great especially for those who may have not had the best examples of Catholic marriage when they were growing up. I found his style a little bit annoying--I think it is an attempt to make the book lighthearted and humorous, and maybe it works for some but for me it just got in the way. Despite that, this book presents a great Catholic vision of marriage as a deep and loving partnership and a "school of love" that helps us to grow in holiness and virtue.

[Gemma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another book I wish I'd found in the early years of my marriage. We know a lot of this stuff now (after ten years), but it sure would have helped us avoid a lot of the "learning it the hard way" that happened in the early years.

I really liked the concept of the relationship pathway the author presented. I'd never heard of this before.

While this is written from a Catholic perspective, I think that any Christian would benefit from reading it.

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great book for those Catholics/ Christians (and perhaps even non-Christians) interested in having not merely a good marriage, but a great one. Yes, some of the activities require a lot of time or effort, but anything worth having is worth working for. The author has a rather corny sense of humor, but it is refreshing in the sense that a serious subject can also be fun. Highly recommended for those who want the best marriage they can have.

[Ethan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great marriage book. Full of lots of hard to follow advice. Best advice is to write a list of 25 things that your spouse does that makes you feel especially loved. Then exchange your list with your spouse's list, and you have to do five things daily off that list. It's like a instant jolt of goodness in your marriage. Good stuff.

[Angie Hancock · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must have for Catholic married or engaged couples

My marriage has been transformed by the Popcaks' books. I buy this for all new married couples I meet. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

[Alicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thankful

I feel humbled in that I thought I knew the significance of marriage and family. I read this book in preparation for my upcoming marriage to a fellow Catholic. It is with great joy that I look to serve him and love him as praise to our God.

[Jeanette · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really excellent book about marriage--whether you're Catholic or Protestant or otherwise--contains a great mix of fundamental ideas about marriage and practical advice.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome resource for marriages! My husband and I strongly recommend it for all couples of all faiths!

[Sarah Winslow · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of understandable theology along with good, practical info. Very (too?) conversational and somewhat repetitive in parts.