What to Do When Mistakes Make You Quake: A Kid’s Guide to Accepting Imperfection

by Claire A.B. Freeland, Jacqueline B. Toner, Janet McDonnell

What to Do When Mistakes Make You Quake aims to help kids who struggle with self-confidence and a fear of making mistakes, being self-critical, and purposely aiming low. Using cognitive-behavioral approaches, this interactive book is a complete resource for educating, motivating, and empowering children to cope with mistakes so they can explore new territory without fear.

Genres: Parenting, Mental Health, Childrens, Picture Books

96 pages, Paperback

First published August 24, 2015

Reviews

[Ivonne Rovira · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m a bit of a perfectionist, but I have nothing on my eldest daughter. I have to give Alex credit: She didn’t start crying until she got off the bus and inside the house. She sobbed about being an idiot because she had gotten a mere 90% on an exam. Amazed, I told her that most of my students would kill for a 90%. (I taught high school at the time, and Alex was in high school at the time.)

Readers, I wish that I could say that Alex (and I) have put our perfectionism behind us. Alas, I cannot. While we both have improved (I more than she), we both still quake when we make mistakes. What I wouldn’t give to have had this wonderful book by Drs. Claire Freeland and Jacqueline Toner! Sure I mouth, “Mistakes means you’re learning,” but a book like this one helps to put it into practice. With activities, great illustrations and wonderful suggestions for parents (even the perfectionist kind — maybe especially the perfectionist kind!), this book proves perfect for parents of kids who quake (literally or metaphorically) when they make a mistake.

In the interest of full disclosure, I received this book from NetGalley, the American Psychological Association and Magination Press in exchange for an honest review.

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who has been in CBT before, I'm excited to see how well Claire Freeland could introduce those ideas while maintaining a kid friendly feel. It's a great balance of information and practice without being overwhelming.

My son isn't quite old enough to understand this guide yet, but as soon as he can I'll certainly be purchasing our family a copy. Just as with all of the other What-to-Do Guides, I'm a firm believer caregivers will get just as much from this as kids will. In the meantime, it's such valuable information that I'll use the techniques with him anyway!

{I voluntarily read and reviewed an advance copy of this book provided by the publisher, American Psychological Association, via NetGalley. All thoughts and opinions are my own.}

[A Cruz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book for children to work through and help them understand the mistakes are normal. Gives practical advice for them to help change their way of thinking. Great reminders for adults as well.

[Literary Redhead · Rating 5 out of 5]

A terrific updated guide on how to help children cope when making mistakes. Assists kids with perfectionism and anxiety when facing a task. This adult learned a lot, too, from its effective cognitive behavioral approach.

[Natalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

No one likes to make mistakes, but for some of us, the fear that comes with making a mistake can be paralyzing. “What To Do When Mistakes Make You Quake” by Jacqueline B. Toner, PhD and Claire A.B. Freeland, PhD guides children through a process of self-acceptance and, to some extent, joy in making mistakes as a way to grow.

This book has many examples of ways that kids might fall apart when they make mistakes. There are an equal number of strategies to help kids cope with those mistakes. I really liked the Oops, Yikes, and Shucks mistakes. For example, an Oops mistake is one where you might say the wrong word because you’re talking too fast. The book also talks about the dangers of black and white thinking. The book is interactive with many opportunities to write and draw about those times when mistakes have made you fearful. It also has opportunities to identify self-care tips that will work.

At the beginning of the book there is a guide for adults to help the children in their care.

This book is great for kids and their adults who tend to let mistakes or fear of mistakes hold them back from adventures they want to have.

I received an advance review copy for free from Netgalley and Magination Press, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Reading Adventures · Rating 5 out of 5]

1000 stars
I love this series. It has been a huge help in our home. My son is on the autism spectrum and these books are so helpful. In this book we talk about what to do when you make mistakes and how it can make you feel. Kids, and adults too, often stress about making mistakes. Some struggle with how to handle the emotions involved and how to help make things better. In this detailed guide we learn about the emotions and feelings that are associated with making mistakes, including the anxiety and fear that prevents us from doing things for fear of making a mistake. There are so many excellent activities to help your child understand how and why and what to do when it comes to mistakes. I love the encouragement that this book brings to children in finding ways to understand and manage in different situations. This is the perfect guide for families with anyone who struggles with the anxiety and stress of mistakes made or that could happen. I highly recommend this book.

[Shilo Quetchenbach · Rating 5 out of 5]

My kiddo (10) isn't what I would describe as a perfectionist, but he does sometimes have trouble accepting mistakes, and he seemed to get a lot out of this book. It's clear and easy to understand, with lots of cute illustrations and engaging exercises and questions that make you really think about things.

I would recommend it to any kid who has trouble accepting mistakes. The stories used to frame the concepts, of being an explorer, going on journeys, etc, really work to highlight why it's important to be able to let ourselves risk making mistakes.

I highly recommend this entire series and this is no exception.

*Thanks to Magination Press for providing an early copy for review.

[Amy T. · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good introduction to some cognitive behavioral techniques for kids who struggle with perfectionism. It covers catastrophic thinking, black and white thinking, and learning to accept making a mistake.

[Sunny · Rating 5 out of 5]

My therapist points out that I am a perfectionist and I am using Perfectionism lecture of Ben Talshaf’s course to help me overcome it, then this book comes in, boom! How wonderful! I feel encouraged and fueled!

[Sharon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to 'Magination Press, and imprint of the American Psychological Association
Workbook which helps middle graders, YAs , parents, guardians and counselors recognize the physical and emotional toll of pursuing perfection on the first try and to control the unrealistic goals. Provides the psychological foundations and strategies to counteract the self destructive pursuit of instant perfection and to embrace self acceptance. One comes to realize that the only failure is to stop trying. The text was a bit heavy, but it is definitely a solid tool for anyone dealing with this issue.

[Oana Mihoc · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read it for work today. Useful for helping kids overcome their anxiety when making mistakes. Also found it useful for me, as I'm a perfectionist and I tend to avoid making mistakes.