Avaldamiseks mittemõeldud päevikud on tihti suurepärased ajalooallikad. Eriti kui tegu on niivõrd murrangulistel aegadel kirjapanduga nagu Vigala mõisniku Boris von Uxkulli (snd 1793) päevikud, kus avaneb pilt Napoleoni sõdadele ja autori õpingutele ning reisidele tolleaegses Euroopas.
Noore ratsaväeohvitserina osaleb Boris von Uxkull verises ja kurnavas sõjas, milletaolist Euroopa pole veel näinud. Ent sõjakoleduste kõrval suudab autor näha muudki. Tema lai silmaring ja huvi inimeste, ajaloo ja kultuuri vastu avaldub eriti raamatu teises osas, kus ta räägib oma ülikooliõpingutest. Oluliseks teemaks tõuseb autori suhtlus vastassugupoolega ja sellega kaasnevad arvukad seiklused. Üks tema järeltulijatest on selle teema järelsõnas kokku võtnud nii: „Mehed nagu Boris armastasid, nagu Casanova seda nii tabavalt formuleeris, „naisi kuni hullumeelsuseni, aga oma vabadust alati veelgi rohkem“. Selle deviisi järgi elavaid ei säästeta süüdistustest pealiskaudsuses, truudusetuses, kergemeelsuses, samuti nagu nende laitusest, kes siin maailmas ameteid ja väärikust kannavad ja jagavad. Aga pole leida ühtegi suurt seiklejat, kes poleks rõõmuga nõus seda hinda maksma.“
Translated diaries of Baron Boris Uexkull who was the eldest son of an German-Estonian nobleman that I picked up at a library sale.
Two-thirds of these diaries cover the period 1812 to 1814 when he served in the Russian cavalry during the campaigning against Napoleon and the remaining third covers about nine months from December 1818 to late summer 1819 when he travelled in Germany and Austria with his then mistress.
The first part can be perhaps summed up by a couple of entries: 22nd June 1812 If fate has decided that I am to meet my death in one of the fields covering the Russian land, and if this Diary comes into the hands of my parents one day, I beg them to grant me the following requests: Take care of my servants Fyodor and Petrushka; Keep my grey horse until it dies; and pay my debts; which consist of 18,000 rubles, according to a list that's among my papers.
Debt and credit are consistent worries. There is some fighting, but most of the time is spent on the move, finding places to lodge and sweet talking young women. The results of this last activity lead to him contracting venereal disease. Such are the dangers of war.
Travelling back to Russia and once again separated from his regiment he stops over in Weimar on the 29th June 1814: Today I wrote to Goethe and asked him for an audience. He told the servant who had taken my note that he didn't know me and was no freak animal to be gaped at. My vanity was more than a little wounded by this extremely uncivil style, but my request might have looked that way. He managed to restrain his hunger for celebrity and did not set up an easel or get out a sketch pad to capture an image of the genius in his natural environment.
The second part begins after he has been studying with Hegel in Heidelberg. He seems to have been in Germany to get an education but is more occupied with tourism and troubles with inquisitive police while on the move with his mistress, who he is intending to leave by the time the diaries break off.
Vigala mõisa noore paruni märkmed sõjast Napoleoni vägedega ning päris hästi dokumenteeritud ARVUKAD seiklused ja murtud südamed sel teekonnal. Väljavõte päevikust illustreerib seda kenasti:
Meaux, 23. mai - Asulad on end taas kogunud, sõda näib olevat jäljetult kadunud. Taye külake, kus me asume, on kõige ilusama asukohaga. Vaevalt teenistuse ja korrespondentsiga valmis saanud, läksin jahipüssiga õlal lähedasse metsatukka, rohkem ööbikuid kuulama kui vaeseid metsloomi laskma. Õhtu oli suurepärane ja alles kella 11 ajal tulin tagasi ööbimiskohta. Täna oli meil puhkepäev ja ma ärkasin parima kavatsusega täna midagi mõistlikku teha; aga see sulas kui värske lumi mu peremehe ilusa tütre tõttu, kellega ma kurameerima hakkasin.