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Magic Fishing Panties

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Have you taken to blaming the little people for stealing all the things you can’t find, like the damn Chico’s gift card you are 100% sure you left on the dresser? When you take off your bra, is it as if an airbag has deployed? Have you more than once started a sentence with the phrase “Back when I was in school…”? If you answered yes to any of these questions, welcome to the middle-aged cheap seats.

Magic Fishing Panties is the follow-up to Dalferes’ debut book I Was in Love With a Short Man Once. This collection of humorous tales offers new perspective from the self-proclaimed crazy Southern Irish gal and recent inductee into “Club 50.” Rather than wallow in the self-pity often induced by sagging jaw lines, empty nests, and menopause, the author offers colorful depictions of life in the middle. You will find yourself contemplating:

• How would you react to being in public during an earthquake? Oh, and you’re naked.
• The wedding starts in five minutes and your best friend needs to pump her breast milk, but all the bathrooms are occupied. Where should she go to quickly resolve her situation?
• You are depressed and alone on your 39th birthday. What do you do? Hint: tattoo anyone?

You’ll come to know Kimba as a true gal pal, someone who will gladly lend you her size 11 black boots, favorite red coat, and anything else you might need to rule the world – with the exception of her magic fishing panties. Because letting you borrow those would be a little weird, don’t ya think?

214 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 20, 2015

4 people are currently reading
238 people want to read

About the author

Kimberly J. Dalferes

9 books25 followers
Kimberly “Kimba” Dalferes is a native Floridian, but currently pretends to be a Virginian. She is an accomplished king salmon slayer, estate sale junkie, and sometimes writes books. Her first book, "I Was In Love With a Short Man Once", was published in 2011, and released as an audio book by Audible in 2019. Her second book, "Magic Fishing Panties", soon to also be on Audible, was published by Mill Park Publishing. Her stories have been featured in diverse publications including "Voices from Smith Mountain Lake" (an anthology published in 2013 by the Smith Mountain Arts Council), "Feisty After 45: The Best Blogs of Midlife Women", The Roanoke Times, Hippocampus Magazine, The Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop, Better After Fifty, BonBon Break, Southern Writers Magazine, and Midlife Boulevard. She is also a columnist–her humor column Dock Tale Hour has appeared regularly in Laker Magazine (an affiliate of Times-World LLC) since 2014. The author has been recognized for her nonfiction writing as the winner of the 2014 Golden Nib Award - VWC’s highest honor.
Dalferes divides her time between Fairfax and Smith Mountain Lake, Virginia with husband Greg, Bonz the cat, and occasionally her son Jimmy, who the author now proudly also calls doctor. She is often found hanging out in The Middle-Aged Cheap Seats–her blog. She continues to sing hopelessly off-key and waits patiently for that phone call from George Clooney.

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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
Profile Image for Betsy Ashton.
Author 15 books194 followers
August 5, 2015
The title alone would make me pick up the book and look inside. Kimberly Dalferes follows her wickedly funny I WAS IN LOVE WITH A SHORT MAN ONCE with the even funnier MAGIC FISHING PANTIES, smack in the tradition of Erma Bombeck.

Okay, one bit of information will give you an idea of how quirky the author is. Her book launches on August 5, National Underwear Day. Think it was happenstance? Who are you trying to kid???

Let's get the disclaimer out of the way first. I asked for and received an ARC. I couldn't with for this to be published.

That said, this book is for gals and guys who love them. Gals will howl at the antics of a half-century-old crazy Southern Irish gal who suffers through the changes life brings at "a certain age." From hot flashes to boobs that no longer pass the pencil test to coping with an empty nest, Dalferes hits us hard where we laugh -- right in the gut.

The first story about the panties grabs the reader, shakes her like a dog with a new sock toy, and never lets go. Those magic fishing panties play a central role in a series of vacations where the writer and her family go fishing in Alaska. No spoiler alert needed: you have to read the book to get the full impact.

I said guys who love their gals should also read this. It's true. How else are your going to survive the mood swings that come with menopause, birthday depressions that lead to tattoos, or running outdoors in the middle of an earthquake to find yourself naked.

Guys, do yourselves a favor. Buy the book for your gal and read it. It will save you a lot of grief. Gals, buy one copy for you, one copy for your best gal friend and one for the guy in your life. You won't be sorry.
Profile Image for M.L. Desir.
Author 1 book23 followers
August 5, 2015
I love to laugh. I love to reminisce. And I love fellow authors who can deliver both of these feel goods easily. I haven’t had the pleasure yet to meet Kimba, but after completing this laugh-out-loud, candid, and quirky book, I feel like I’ve gotten to know her (even a little, teeny bit) and want to know her more.

The adage, “you can’t judge a book by its cover” is true in so many aspects. For the sake of argument, I could have assumed that I couldn’t relate to the experiences Kimba had to share in her book. Though both of us have grown up in the south – (yes, I know, I know, Florida isn’t technically considered “Southern” to most for many reasons I won’t get into, natives like me know and have experienced differently) – we’re from different generations and while she’s primarily Irish and my family hails from the islands of Jamaica, Haiti, and Cuba, my funny bone often got tickled with similar situations that my own family experienced throughout the pages of this chuckle-worthy book.

Although the book is primarily humorous, priceless and serious gems of truth sparkle light on our ever-changing world. She touches upon taboo subjects, such as sexism and racism with grace and fairness.
Overall, a great read! 
Profile Image for Diane Fanning.
Author 43 books432 followers
October 3, 2015
I have to admit, Kimberly Dalferes had me laughing with her title and I didn't stop chortling until long after I finished reading it. I thought I was going lose it when I read the tale about using the head on a fishing boat--one of the funniest things I have ever read. If you want to travel through the head of a "crazy southern Irish gal," you'll have a rollicking good time with this book.

Now, I'm going to have to read her first book, I Was in Love with a Short Man Once.
Profile Image for Lauren Jones.
442 reviews12 followers
May 18, 2016
When it was my turn to speak, I started with a question for the group. “I’m a little surprised there are no other women in the room. Do you have women working here at FDLE?” Gauntlet thrown. “Oh, of course we do. It’s just a coincidence our agency representatives today happen to be all men.” “I see. I’m curious, are there any women working in the Domestic Marijuana Eradication Unit?” “Well, no, not at the moment.” “Have you ever placed a female intern in the unit?” “I’m not sure, but, no, I don’t think we’ve ever had a female intern express interest in that unit.” “Wow, that’s surprising. It sounds like a great place to spend the next fifteen weeks, I’m sure I would learn a lot.” Girl. Card. Played.

Humor and reality are incredible ways to break the ice for a book. What’s more—this author writes a book filled with several different essays or stories that were previously submitted in other media outlets. Dalferes extends an offer to her readers—a chance to see her life through her eyes. Magic Fishing Panties is only one short essay within this multitude of wonderful and insightful stories that the author has chosen to share with her readers.

The stories that are included within this book are recollections that the author has kept and chronologically placed into a sequence so that her readers have a very detailed description of most of her past. Kimberly Dalferes does like to excite and entice her readers with humor; therefore, you’ll find that the book is very easy to read and comical. The story begins with an introduction, which is where she provides a background and ancestry, then proceeds with going to the White House for the Easter Egg Roll with her son. Dalferes never fails to show a comical thread of balance within the emotionally trying times that must have been there from time to time. Then, Magic Fishing Panties recaps her experience with fishing in Alaska and carrying on traditions as only a family can, all the way up to Playing the Girl Card which is where the quote above is from. The author brings her story to a conclusion with Club Fifty and Kimba’s Tip of the Day.

Dalferes does a superb job with character development and originality since most of it is her own life and memory. This story is uplifting and holds a great deal of diplomacy, tact and professionalism within the content of her life’s reflections. It is a fast paced novel and easy to read, entertaining and absolutely funny. This author has penned a wonderful recollection of her life through essays and short stories. If you are a reader of humor and entertainment, you might want to try this book out.

A free copy was exchanged for an honest review of this fictional piece.
Profile Image for Grady.
Author 51 books1,830 followers
August 5, 2015
‘What's needed here is a spectacularly immature act.’

Kimberly J Dalferes steps onto the comedy stage with this excellent collection of short stories cum reveries cum parodies cum confessionals that are pretty much assured of finding the funny bone in everyone fortunate enough to pick up this volume. Without any hoopla she just jumps into the pool of memories and circumstances that, despite being her own to won, are actually so universal that they touch every one of us.

Her writing is clear, very well crafted, focused and utterly hilarious. Even her synopsis has the flavor of the book and covers a lot of territory: ‘Have you taken to blaming the little people for stealing all the things you can’t find, like the damn Chico’s gift card you are 100% sure you left on the dresser? Have you more than once started a sentence with the phrase “Back when I was in school…”? If you answered yes to any of these questions, welcome to the middle-aged cheap seats. This collection of humorous tales offers new perspective from the self-proclaimed crazy Southern Irish gal and recent inductee into “Club 50.” Rather than wallow in the self-pity often induced by sagging jaw lines, empty nests, and menopause, the author offers colorful depictions of life in the middle. You will find yourself contemplating How would you react to being in public during an earthquake? Oh, and you’re naked, The wedding starts in five minutes and your best friend needs to pump her breast milk, but all the bathrooms are occupied. Where should she go to quickly resolve her situation?, You are depressed and alone on your 39th birthday. What do you do? Hint: tattoo anyone? You’ll come to know Kimba as a true gal pal, someone who will gladly lend you her size 11 black boots, favorite red coat, and anything else you might need to rule the world–with the exception of her magic fishing panties. Because letting you borrow those would be a little weird, don’t ya think?’

That is an appetizer, but only that. This book even outdoes her previous I WAS IN LOVE WITH A SHORT MAN ONCE – and for those who delighted in that, hang on because this is aimed right at your funny bone. It is so easy to become addicted to Kimberly Dalferes! This is one funny lady with a very fine talent whose bound to climb onto the platform with Erma Bombeck, Fannie Flagg, Nora Ephron et al. Catch her while she is wet!
Profile Image for Judith Barrow.
Author 8 books67 followers
September 2, 2015
I need to say nothing more than I loved he Magic Fishing Panties by Kim Dalferes. But, of course I will, because I want more people to read this fabulous collection of short stories and essays. I read it one sitting, ignoring all the ‘to-do’ tasks that were indelibly printed on my brain until I picked up this book and started reading. It’s a long time since I indulged myself like this and I'm not sorry. The author’s voice shines through in each story, whether it’s one that makes you laugh out loud, sigh with nostalgia or weep (which one or two did to me!) And there are a few that make you sit back and think, perhaps shake your head in amazement at the obtuse, insensitive attitude of some people, and then wonder at Kim Dalferes’ ability to retain a sense of humour.. And be able to craft a story about it with such skill.
Picture the scene: The school bus, too early to pick up the children on the other side of an intersection (crossroads for UK readers) parked right in the middle until the driver decides it’s the correct time and blocking all traffic.
Enter Kim Dalferes …
“‘Did any other adult offer assistance? Nada. Not a single one…I soon found myself juggling leash, tugging dog, and blue plastic poop bag precariously with my right hand, my coffee mug in the left, and directing traffic through the intersection while simultaneously shooing children out of the road …”
It’s just part of one of many hilarious passages. Kim Dalferes interweaves reality, poignancy, honesty (at whatever cost to herself) and comedy. I can heartily recommend the Magic Fishing Panties .
Profile Image for Famin.
230 reviews
August 9, 2015
Kimba tells the type of stories you hear at Thanksgiving dinners, high school reunions, and Happy Hours—the ones that you think can’t possibly be true, and that make you laugh so hard that you beg to hear them over and over every year. If you enjoy funny memoirs like those by Jen Lancaster, Susan Reinhardt, and Jenny Lawson, you’ll like this book.

Okay, full disclosure here: I actually know the author personally, and she asked me to review an Advanced Reading Copy. That might make you think my review is biased because the author and I are friends. And maybe that’s true on some level, because I did really enjoy the book. However, that also puts me in a position to tell you that I’ve heard parts of these stories before over a couple of drinks, and I’ve met some of the people in these stories. The stories are real, y’all. Kimba in real life is just as she is on the page—and, yes, when I hear the stories I do breathe a sigh of relief I’m not in any of them while simultaneously wishing I had the guts to be as brave as she is.
Profile Image for Kathi Casey.
2 reviews9 followers
August 5, 2015
Another Heap of laughs and giggles from that crazy southern Irish gal, Kimba Dalferes!
After the fun I'd had reading Kim's first book, I Was In Love With A Short Man Once, I was expecting fun memories, and touching stories in her second. What a delightful surprise to have found myself laughing out loud several times at her sarcastic humor approach to life's bumps and roadblocks! We all experience tough times and good times in our lives. What makes us all different is our reaction to life's events. A little humor injected into a sticky situation is often just what everyone needs. From now on, instead of putting on my big girl panties, I'll reach for my Magic Fishing Panties! If you are looking for feel good stories that will make you re-live moments from your own past, laugh out loud and maybe even cry a little, pick this one up - you'll be glad you did.
Profile Image for Kathy Kate.
29 reviews
August 5, 2015
Surprised to find myself not only laughing out loud, but also so impressed at how she takes little moments of life and laughter, and removes them from the shadow of larger issues so it makes sense to real people, in real life, in real time. From how her ass looked in the harness of a zipline, to becoming "that girl" to protect her son, Dalferes hits the nail on the head time and time again. You'll wanna be one of her gal pals for sure, but you will really be impressed at the brains and intention that drives the laughter. fun stuff in easy to read essays that make you feel like you're diving into her diary, or at the very least, tagging along for the ride.
Profile Image for Jill Ward.
1 review2 followers
August 5, 2015
Favorite beach read #2! Kim is back again and better than ever. If you took my advice, read, and loved "I Was In Love With A Short Man Once" then "Magic Fishing Panties" is for you. Fun, funny and sweet this second collection of stories and insights will make you want to hug your family, call your girlfriends and go out an buy your own pair of magic fishing panties. So pick up a copy and settle in with a big glass of wine - you are in for a treat. A couple of my favorites include, "The World Needs More Virgos" (well, of course it does!) and "Nutter House" (seize, the day, gal pals, seize the day!)
Profile Image for Leslie Truex.
Author 5 books8 followers
August 15, 2015
Kim graciously shared a copy of her book with me and I'm glad she did because I needed a good laugh.

Most women dread getting older. The body sags and wrinkles. The eyesight and ability to remember fades. It can be depressing, unless you're Kim Dalferes, who embraces getting older with great enthusiasm and humor. The stories are personal, and yet very relatable. You laugh out loud and I'd be surprised if you didn't snort a few times as well. And hopefully, you'll learn to accept aging as the wild adventure it is, just like Kim.
1 review
August 6, 2015
Kim Dalferes is a riot. We've never met, but she could be my own cousin for all the familial humor she dredges up. (Was she that fly on the wall at Thanksgiving dinners at Nana's house?) If you've ever secretly wondered what happens when a bunch of bold and crazy women in Magic Fishing Panties start mooching and jigging in the parking lot with the King Slayer, this is the book for you. And if you've never wondered about that, you don't know what you're missing. Dalferes may still be a "broad-in-waiting," but she’s definitely an author arrived.
1 review
August 6, 2015
I don't know how Dalferes does it, but she manages to not only make you feel like you are in the room with her, but also that you want to jump in the car and join her next escapade. She has a rare talent for storytelling that is simultaneously funny and honest. At the end of the book, she leaves you wanting more (which doesn't happen very often). Dalferes lets you find a little bit of yourself in her stories. This is the absolutely perfect beach read as it is divided into bite-sized short stories, but come to think of it, it is also the perfect winter read sitting by a fire too.
Profile Image for Teresa Kander.
Author 1 book186 followers
September 20, 2015
It's been a while since I read a book which had me laughing until I cried--but this is definitely one of those books. So many of the author's stories are easy for women of "a certain age" to identify with, as we've been there right along with her.

The author does touch on subjects such as racism and sexism, but she has managed to do so with class and grace. She is an amazing writer, and I look forward to more of her humor in the future.

I received a copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review, and all thoughts and opinions are entirely my own.
21 reviews
September 6, 2015
I’ve been following Kim's blog for some time so I was eager to read “Magic Fishing Panties” for another dose of her humor and wit. This book did not disappoint! I could totally relate to many of her mid-life mishaps, some of which had me laughing out loud. The chapters were quick reads with topics ranging from family reflections (including the hilarious tale from which the book gets its title) to crazy gal-pal escapades to the poignant “D Day,” the author’s story of dropping her son off at college. If you’re a fan of Erma Bombeck, you’ll enjoy “Magic Fishing Panties.”
Profile Image for Sheri.
Author 26 books55 followers
July 21, 2015
I would never have picked this book for myself. And that would have been a tragedy. I'm not really the core audience for this, as I'm not a woman of "that age" yet. But I honestly don't care. It's brilliant. I want to hug the author, and then go do shots. Maybe even adopt her as she seems like she'd be a kick ass mom. I skipped around in the stories, but still read it in one day. So much fun. I am so glad it got sent to me :)
Profile Image for Laura.
2,557 reviews
April 20, 2016
This is a great book with a wonderful story and well developed characters. This book will keep you reading long into the night. This was such a great read and full of surprises. I am looking forward to reading the next book by this great author. A Review copy was provided to me in exchange for a fair and honest review. The free book held no determination on my personal review.
29 reviews
August 6, 2015
Awesome summer beach read -- or anytime read! Funny, touching, and instructive! If I ever find myself on a fishing boat in Alaska, I can head to the head with confidence... although I'd rather stay at home and read about Kim's adventures in this case!
1 review
September 1, 2015
If you loved Kim Dalferes' first book, "I Was in Love with a Short Man Once" get ready to crack up reading "Magic Fishing Panties"! Kim Dalferes is just hilarious! Her writing will make you laugh out loud. A must-read if you want to get your giggles out!
Profile Image for A.L. DeLeon.
Author 2 books5 followers
November 26, 2016
Magic Fishing Panties is the kind of gem that makes you smile. I found myself laughing out loud at some of those all too familiar and awkward moments we've all known at some point in our lives. There's no denying how relatable and humorous this collection of essays is.
Profile Image for Astra.
Author 1 book
October 6, 2015
Magic Fishing Panties is a hysterical collection of stories from Kimberly's life. I now have this new-found desire to go to Alaska to go deep sea fishing - seriously! Apart from its humour, there is also humility. Many of the stories are sincere and authentic about the coming of middle age and of empty-nesting - these brought an unexpected tear to my eye! A great read!
357 reviews1 follower
April 22, 2016
Magic Fishing Panites is a super-fun, light collection of autobiographical short stories and blog posts by Kim Dalferes. Very reminiscent of non-fiction work by Lisa Scottoline, you will be sure to be laughing throughout the entire book. A perfect beach read!
Profile Image for Wanda.
130 reviews
January 28, 2016
The magic fishing panties

Many funny stories, some really funny stories

and a few bombed stories. A chick kind of read. Three more words.
Profile Image for Elizabeth Kennedy.
498 reviews2 followers
December 7, 2016
Eh. I thought it would be a lot funnier than it was. I never laughed out loud but some of the stories were amusing. It was a quick read though!
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews