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Boys And Their Toys: Understanding Men by Understanding Their Relationship With Gadgets
The key to understanding men is in understanding how they relate to their gadgets. Just because they may seem to show more interest in their computers...or their remote controls...or their fancy watches or their power mowers or their stereos... doesn't mean that their toys are really the most important things in their life. In Boys and Their Toys, bestselling author Bill Adler, Jr. explains how men use toys to assert their independence and freedom, relieve stress, connect to their lost childhood, and even express their nurturing side (without having to admit it). Written in Adler's fun, humorous style, the book reveals how women can:
* learn how a man's interest in particular "toys" can be used to predict his behavior
* know when a guy's passion for gadgets crosses the line into obsession and what to do about it
* take advantage of the human-gadget relationship to improve the human-human relationship
Smart and funny, Boys and Their Toys helps readers understand what makes their men tick...and grow closer with them in the process.
Author Biography: Bill Adler, Jr. (Washington, DC) is the president of Adler & Robin Books, Inc., a book packaging company. He has written more than a dozen books, including the runaway bestseller Outwitting Squirrels. He has been featured on NPR, The Rosie O'Donnell Show, The Maury Povich Show, Hard Copy, and many other nationally syndicated programs.
- GenresNonfiction
164 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2006
1 person is currently reading
11 people want to read
About the author
Bill Adler
335 books15 followersBill Adler pursued his goal of being the P.T. Barnum of books by conceptualizing, writing, editing, compiling and hustling hundreds of them — prompting one magazine to anoint him “the most fevered mind” in publishing.
Mr. Adler achieved early success by collecting and publishing letters children had written to President John F. Kennedy. He followed up with children’s letters to Smokey Bear, Santa Claus, Vice President Spiro T. Agnew and President Barack Obama, among many others.
He helped popularize novels written by political, entertainment and sports celebrities, supplying ghostwriters and even plots. He signed up beauty queens to write diet and exercise books.
As an agent, his clients included Ronald Reagan, Nancy Reagan, Howard Cosell, Mike Wallace and Ralph Nader.
Mr. Adler was best known for his own titles. He wrote “What to Name Your Jewish Baby” (1966) with Arnie Kogen and “What Is a Cat? For Everyone Who Has Ever Loved a Cat” (1987). In 1969, he compiled “The Wit & Humor of Richard Nixon.” In 1995, he published “Cats’ Letters to Santa.”
One of his more famous tricks — a word he preferred to gimmicks — was the 1983 mystery novel “Who Killed the Robins Family?” by Bill Adler and Thomas Chastain. On the cover was an offer of a $10,000 reward for solving a series of fictional murders.
A team of four married couples from Denver won by coming up with the answers to 39 of 40 questions posed in the book. The book reached No. 1 on the New York Times best-seller list in January 1984 and remained there for the better part of a year, selling about a million copies.
“Ideas are my mistress,” Mr. Adler told United Press International in 1986, saying he used his “given abilities to conceptualize books.”
It was People magazine that commented on Mr. Adler’s “fevered mind” in 1983, adding that publishing traditionalists regarded book packagers like Mr. Adler as “money-crazed barbarians with the sensibilities of turnips.”
Referring to Mr. Adler’s books, Roger W. Straus Jr., president of the publisher Farrar, Straus & Giroux, told People: “They’re pretty chintzy, as a rule. It’s like throwing a quarter in the street. If you listen attentively, you find out it ain’t silver when it hits the ground.”
Others disagreed. “I consider Bill Adler unparalleled in the publishing industry — terribly, terribly original,” Mr. Cosell said.
One of Mr. Adler’s best-selling books was a collection called “The Kennedy Wit.” The president’s aides approved the project early in the administration, but Kennedy was said to have been angry about it, causing Random House to drop the idea. Mr. Adler suspected that the president had not wanted his humor emphasized so soon after the failed Bay of Pigs invasion of Cuba in 1961.
After 35 more publishers turned the book down, Mr. Adler finally obtained a $2,500 advance from Citadel Press, a small publisher. The book, released in 1964, after the president’s assassination, was on the New York Times best-seller list for more than six months and sold more than 1.4 million copies.
William Jay Adler was born in Brooklyn on May 14, 1929. His parents died when he was a child, and he was raised by relatives. He attended Brooklyn College for three years and was drafted into the Army, then trained as a flamethrower for the Korean War.
After finding out that flamethrowers led infantry into battle, he applied for Armed Forces Radio, saying he had experience in broadcasting, though he did not. He was a disc jockey in Tokyo until his discharge in 1953. He then worked in broadcasting, as humor editor at McCall’s magazine and as a book editor for Playboy, where he first came up with book ideas.
One brainstorm was to ask the Kennedy White House if he could read mail sent to the president. In a time of much looser security, he was allowed to spend the day copying letters in the White House pos
Mr. Adler achieved early success by collecting and publishing letters children had written to President John F. Kennedy. He followed up with children’s letters to Smokey Bear, Santa Claus, Vice President Spiro T. Agnew and President Barack Obama, among many others.
He helped popularize novels written by political, entertainment and sports celebrities, supplying ghostwriters and even plots. He signed up beauty queens to write diet and exercise books.
As an agent, his clients included Ronald Reagan, Nancy Reagan, Howard Cosell, Mike Wallace and Ralph Nader.
Mr. Adler was best known for his own titles. He wrote “What to Name Your Jewish Baby” (1966) with Arnie Kogen and “What Is a Cat? For Everyone Who Has Ever Loved a Cat” (1987). In 1969, he compiled “The Wit & Humor of Richard Nixon.” In 1995, he published “Cats’ Letters to Santa.”
One of his more famous tricks — a word he preferred to gimmicks — was the 1983 mystery novel “Who Killed the Robins Family?” by Bill Adler and Thomas Chastain. On the cover was an offer of a $10,000 reward for solving a series of fictional murders.
A team of four married couples from Denver won by coming up with the answers to 39 of 40 questions posed in the book. The book reached No. 1 on the New York Times best-seller list in January 1984 and remained there for the better part of a year, selling about a million copies.
“Ideas are my mistress,” Mr. Adler told United Press International in 1986, saying he used his “given abilities to conceptualize books.”
It was People magazine that commented on Mr. Adler’s “fevered mind” in 1983, adding that publishing traditionalists regarded book packagers like Mr. Adler as “money-crazed barbarians with the sensibilities of turnips.”
Referring to Mr. Adler’s books, Roger W. Straus Jr., president of the publisher Farrar, Straus & Giroux, told People: “They’re pretty chintzy, as a rule. It’s like throwing a quarter in the street. If you listen attentively, you find out it ain’t silver when it hits the ground.”
Others disagreed. “I consider Bill Adler unparalleled in the publishing industry — terribly, terribly original,” Mr. Cosell said.
One of Mr. Adler’s best-selling books was a collection called “The Kennedy Wit.” The president’s aides approved the project early in the administration, but Kennedy was said to have been angry about it, causing Random House to drop the idea. Mr. Adler suspected that the president had not wanted his humor emphasized so soon after the failed Bay of Pigs invasion of Cuba in 1961.
After 35 more publishers turned the book down, Mr. Adler finally obtained a $2,500 advance from Citadel Press, a small publisher. The book, released in 1964, after the president’s assassination, was on the New York Times best-seller list for more than six months and sold more than 1.4 million copies.
William Jay Adler was born in Brooklyn on May 14, 1929. His parents died when he was a child, and he was raised by relatives. He attended Brooklyn College for three years and was drafted into the Army, then trained as a flamethrower for the Korean War.
After finding out that flamethrowers led infantry into battle, he applied for Armed Forces Radio, saying he had experience in broadcasting, though he did not. He was a disc jockey in Tokyo until his discharge in 1953. He then worked in broadcasting, as humor editor at McCall’s magazine and as a book editor for Playboy, where he first came up with book ideas.
One brainstorm was to ask the Kennedy White House if he could read mail sent to the president. In a time of much looser security, he was allowed to spend the day copying letters in the White House pos
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August 22, 2013This is genuinely the most baffling book I've read in a long time. Okay, so it's several years old now and technology wasn't such a fad then. But still, I don't remember that women as a species were so tech-illiterate several years ago. While I concede it's likely I hang in more techy circles, the women I know are either tech-obsessed or non-tech-obsessed in equal quantities to the dudes. They certainly weren't in possession of some innate female quality that caused them to break computers. I hardly think it's conceivable that I only run into statistical outliers either, even if I do run in tech herds.
I'm more than willing to believe that men may be more inclined towards gadget obsession in life. But the author of this book seems to come from a world where the women don't use gadgets because the men sneer at them whenever they presume to touch any that don't belong in the kitchen.
I'm more than willing to believe that men may be more inclined towards gadget obsession in life. But the author of this book seems to come from a world where the women don't use gadgets because the men sneer at them whenever they presume to touch any that don't belong in the kitchen.
April 8, 2025
Toys atau gadgets yang dimaksud dalam buku ini cenderung yang berupa gawai berteknologi tinggi seperti arloji canggih, GPS, dan sebagainya. Saya rasa buku ini lebih merupakan pembelaan diri pribadi penulis akan barang-barang yang disukainya, sedangkan saya kira kenyataannya laki-laki lebih beragam daripada yang dicakup di sini. Barangkali ada yang toys-nya berupa Gundam, figurine, kamera, buku, cangkul, bahkan peralatan memasak--pokoknya benda apa saja yang bisa menjadi sarana produksi, aktualisasi diri, dan semacamnya, tidak mesti yang berteknologi tinggi.
Buku ini bahkan tidak disertai daftar pustaka atau rujukan ilmiah untuk mendukung pernyataan-pernyataannya. Tidak sampai melacak sejarah dari masa ke masa di berbagai tempat mengenai bagaimana keterikatan laki-laki dengan benda tertentu, untuk menampakkan keunggulan, membuktikan kejantanan, mengatasi kebosanan, mengembalikan kemudaan, melarikan diri dari tekanan hidup sehari-hari, dan seterusnya, apalagi mendalami bahwa jangan-jangan ini semua hanyalah sebentuk materialisme/konsumerisme yang di samping memanjakan juga melemahkan.
Tidak pula ada riwayat hidup atau keterangan tentang latar belakang penulis, apakah dia memang pakar kejiwaan lelaki, misalnya. Maka buku ini seperti kumpulan artikel blog atau hasil freewriting penulisnya yang tidak perlu berbobot, sesekali boleh melucu dan kerap mengulang poin yang itu melulu.
Penulis mengasumsikan bukunya akan dibaca oleh para perempuan yang pasangannya senang akan gadget. Maka sebagian besar buku menguraikan berbagi sisi positif dari kegemaran tersebut, yang di antaranya menghindarkan dari perselingkuhan.
Tapi, sudut pandangnya terbatas pada kepentingan diri laki-laki, stereotipikal, dan Amerikasentris. Misal, buku ini menjabarkan bahwa membiarkan laki-laki asyik dengan gadget-nya itu memiliki manfaat kejiwaan sebagai berikut bla bla bla. Sebagai pembaca perempuan, saya berpikiran, hei, memangnya laki-laki doang yang butuh seperti itu? Saya pun suka mendengarkan lagu secara random, tidak mesti berurutan sebagaimana prasangka stereotipikal penulis terhadap kaum perempuan. Saya pun butuh sarana dan kesempatan untuk merasa kembali muda! Kemudian penulis memerincikan tipe-tipe lelaki bagaikan kuesioner di majalah "cowok tipe manakah si doi menurut gadget favoritnya?" Tipe-tipe yang ada tampaknya terbatas pada wawasan penulisnya yang mencakup James Bond, MacGyver, cowboys, dan sejenisnya sedangkan tipe-tipe yang dikenal pembaca dari wilayah lain berusia lain, bisa jadi berupa pendekar kungfu, bajak laut, pemiara burung, pemancing, pejudi online kambuhan, dan kalau di Indonesia sepertinya cowboys ekuivalen dengan bocah angon yang gadget-nya bukanlah laso dan kuda melainkan arit dan karung.
Barulah di belakang penulis menyoroti sisi gelap dari kelekatan terhadap gadget. Ada masukan agar keluarga tidak merasa diabaikan. Malah ada kekhawatiran seiring dengan munculnya Blackberry--buku ini ditulis/diterbitkan pada 2006/2007--yang barulah awal dari era telepon pintar, orang makin tak bisa lepas dari gadget. Benar saja, dalam dua puluh tahun sejak buku ini terbit, orang benar-benar makin lekat dengan gadget, bahkan dipaksa oleh sistem sebab untuk berbagai urusan sekarang ini mesti menggunakan aplikasi, uang elektronik, dan sebagainya, dan bukan hanya laki-laki yang mengalami, melainkan juga perempuan--segala gender, segala usia. Kalau sudah sampai taraf seperti sekarang ini, akankah penulis memberikan lebih banyak masukan untuk menyeimbangkan antara pemakaian gadget (elektronik termutakhir, khususnya, sebagaimana yang lebih diangkat dalam buku ini) dan perhatian ke dunia nyata, ketimbang membelanya sampai berbusa-busa?
Buku ini bahkan tidak disertai daftar pustaka atau rujukan ilmiah untuk mendukung pernyataan-pernyataannya. Tidak sampai melacak sejarah dari masa ke masa di berbagai tempat mengenai bagaimana keterikatan laki-laki dengan benda tertentu, untuk menampakkan keunggulan, membuktikan kejantanan, mengatasi kebosanan, mengembalikan kemudaan, melarikan diri dari tekanan hidup sehari-hari, dan seterusnya, apalagi mendalami bahwa jangan-jangan ini semua hanyalah sebentuk materialisme/konsumerisme yang di samping memanjakan juga melemahkan.
Because if I lose my desire for new, great gadgets, what will I have left? Just family and friends? ("Postcript")
Tidak pula ada riwayat hidup atau keterangan tentang latar belakang penulis, apakah dia memang pakar kejiwaan lelaki, misalnya. Maka buku ini seperti kumpulan artikel blog atau hasil freewriting penulisnya yang tidak perlu berbobot, sesekali boleh melucu dan kerap mengulang poin yang itu melulu.
Penulis mengasumsikan bukunya akan dibaca oleh para perempuan yang pasangannya senang akan gadget. Maka sebagian besar buku menguraikan berbagi sisi positif dari kegemaran tersebut, yang di antaranya menghindarkan dari perselingkuhan.
Tapi, sudut pandangnya terbatas pada kepentingan diri laki-laki, stereotipikal, dan Amerikasentris. Misal, buku ini menjabarkan bahwa membiarkan laki-laki asyik dengan gadget-nya itu memiliki manfaat kejiwaan sebagai berikut bla bla bla. Sebagai pembaca perempuan, saya berpikiran, hei, memangnya laki-laki doang yang butuh seperti itu? Saya pun suka mendengarkan lagu secara random, tidak mesti berurutan sebagaimana prasangka stereotipikal penulis terhadap kaum perempuan. Saya pun butuh sarana dan kesempatan untuk merasa kembali muda! Kemudian penulis memerincikan tipe-tipe lelaki bagaikan kuesioner di majalah "cowok tipe manakah si doi menurut gadget favoritnya?" Tipe-tipe yang ada tampaknya terbatas pada wawasan penulisnya yang mencakup James Bond, MacGyver, cowboys, dan sejenisnya sedangkan tipe-tipe yang dikenal pembaca dari wilayah lain berusia lain, bisa jadi berupa pendekar kungfu, bajak laut, pemiara burung, pemancing, pejudi online kambuhan, dan kalau di Indonesia sepertinya cowboys ekuivalen dengan bocah angon yang gadget-nya bukanlah laso dan kuda melainkan arit dan karung.
Barulah di belakang penulis menyoroti sisi gelap dari kelekatan terhadap gadget. Ada masukan agar keluarga tidak merasa diabaikan. Malah ada kekhawatiran seiring dengan munculnya Blackberry--buku ini ditulis/diterbitkan pada 2006/2007--yang barulah awal dari era telepon pintar, orang makin tak bisa lepas dari gadget. Benar saja, dalam dua puluh tahun sejak buku ini terbit, orang benar-benar makin lekat dengan gadget, bahkan dipaksa oleh sistem sebab untuk berbagai urusan sekarang ini mesti menggunakan aplikasi, uang elektronik, dan sebagainya, dan bukan hanya laki-laki yang mengalami, melainkan juga perempuan--segala gender, segala usia. Kalau sudah sampai taraf seperti sekarang ini, akankah penulis memberikan lebih banyak masukan untuk menyeimbangkan antara pemakaian gadget (elektronik termutakhir, khususnya, sebagaimana yang lebih diangkat dalam buku ini) dan perhatian ke dunia nyata, ketimbang membelanya sampai berbusa-busa?
Men have been tricked, deceived, conned. The entire Blackberry phenomenon is designed as a method of control. And it works. (halaman 147)
June 11, 2010
This book was so interesting! I've always wanted to know why boys were so obsessed with having the latest gadget or the coolest car; now I know. This book gives you a look into a guys mind. There were so many topics in this book that made me want to keep reading more and more. "...deep inside men who play with toys are still boys: Boys who want to be James Bond, Boys who want to be astronauts, Boys who want to build things, Boys who want to be cowboys, Boys who want to be sorcerers, Boys who want to be policemen and firemen, Boys who want to be MacGyver, and Boys who want to be Superman." Why is that so true? I think back, or think about now, and boys always want to be one of those things at least once. I learned that boys think their toys attract women and make them think they are cooler. They think their gadgets display wealth. If their toys don't do that, then it keeps them from being bored because men have very short attention spans (who would have thought!). Men also have midlife crisises which include things like: having an affair or one day without warning he spends $50,000 on a flashy sports car. This book was very entertaining and really funny. I recommend it to anyone who wants a little laugh and wants to know why men really act they way the do about their toys.
December 9, 2008
Hey, check it out, I'm the first and only person to review this book - so far.
Bill Adler attempts to understand boys and their relationship with toys. It's rather interesting to see his opinions and ideas but I don't necessarily agree with most of them.
He had a small chapter on shoes which might have the best part. I never understood why a woman would put her feet under so much pain just to look good. Or why she would have a roomful of shoes and then lament she has not shoes to wear.
Now, I get it.
Book is probably more a 2.5 in my book. Book does read somewhat amateurish - I'm not meaning that in a bad way. Many books just come across with a polished feel wiping out the author's true voice.
August 9, 2015
No stars.
Speaking for all men, the author, with a background in book "packaging" but no acknowledged formal training in psychology, perpetuates multiple clichés and stereotypes about men and women. In the acknowledgments he thanks his "simply amazing" editor who, with him, apparently signed off on a manuscript replete with errors in typography and usage. I’ve never before seen a disclaimer (see attachment accompanying my Amazon review) on the copyright and Cataloging in Publication page but then again I’ve never before read a book published by a division of a corporate training and consulting group.
No stars.
April 17, 2015
351 - 2015
Tunggu dulu... kenapa juga seolah gadget hanya berkorelasi dengan pria?
Membaca ini, aku juga sangat merasa gue banget ini.... T.T
Tunggu dulu... kenapa juga seolah gadget hanya berkorelasi dengan pria?
Membaca ini, aku juga sangat merasa gue banget ini.... T.T
July 29, 2015
I'm not sure how much of this book is true, but some chapters were quite entertaining.
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August 11, 2011Some interesting ideas are explored,about technology and it's role in men's lives.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews