How Should We Develop Biblical Friendship?

Cultivating Biblical Godliness

by Michael A.G. Haykin, Joel R. Beeke

“Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend,” Proverbs 27:17 tells us. God uses Christian friendships to help His children grow in grace and stay true to Christ. But our twenty-first-century Western culture values individualism, busyness, and selfishness—qualities that do not encourage deep, long-lasting, satisfying friendships. The authors guide us through a practical survey of biblical and historical friendships, drawing principles from them that will aid us in forming our own biblical friendships that will sharpen us for our Christian journey in a world that is no friend to grace.

Author

Joel R. Beeke is president of Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary and a pastor of the Heritage Netherlands Reformed Congregation in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Michael A. G. Haykin is professor of church history and biblical spirituality as The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky.

Endorsements

“A treasure! From two of my friends, a booklet about friendship that makes me thankful for them and what they have written. Friendship is what Jesus gifts in His final hours—‘you are my friends’—and discovering friendship with others is one of God’s great gifts. Winsomely thoughtful and practical, this is a rare treasure that is bound to be read widely.” — Derek W. H. Thomas, senior minister, First Presbyterian Church, Columbia, South Carolina; Robert Strong Professor of Systematic and Pastoral Theology, RTS Atlanta

“This booklet is needed in the Christian world as people relate to phones and iPads but increasingly less to others. Here is an accessible, reader-friendly, ‘one-stop’ treatment of the Bible’s encouragement to form and sustain rich friendships. It is lucid but not simplistic, judicious but not obscure, and convicting but not shrill.” — Geoff Thomas, pastor, Alfred Place Baptist Church, Aberystwyth, Wales

Cultivating Biblical Godliness Series

D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones once said, “The world today is looking for, and desperately needs, true Christians. I am never tired of saying that what the Church needs to do is not to organize evangelistic campaigns and attract outside people, but to begin herself to live the Christian life. If she did that, men and women would be crowding into our buildings. They would say, ‘What is the secret of this?’”

Many people who are new to the church need instruction in the most basic aspects of godly living. Even where churches are engaged heavily in discipleship, visitors and members often have gaps in their understanding and practice. One of the greatest needs of our time is for the Spirit of God to cultivate biblical godliness in us in order to put the glory of Christ on display through us, all to the glory of God the Father.

For these reasons, Joel Beeke and Ryan McGraw are coediting a series of booklets titled Cultivating Biblical Godliness. These booklets treat matters that are vital to Christian experience, and each contribution aims to address a wide variety of people and circumstances at a fundamental and introductory level. This includes teaching people what to believe in order to practice personal holiness as well as specific directions on how to cultivate biblical godliness in relation to issues that are common to God’s people.

The distinctive feature of this series is its experiential tone. While some booklet series aim to enlighten the mind, these booklets aim to warm the affections as well. The goal is to promote communion with the triune God and to transform the entire person in thought, speech, and behavior.

Genres: Christian Living, Friendship, Faith, Nonfiction, Christian, Audiobook, Relationships

32 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 29, 2015

About the author

Dr. Michael A.G. Haykin is the Professor of Church History and Biblical Spirituality and Director of The Andrew Fuller Center for Baptist Studies at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.

He is also the editor of Eusebeia: The Bulletin of The Andrew Fuller Center for Baptist Studies. His present areas of research include 18th-century British Baptist life and thought, as well as Patristic Trinitarianism and Baptist piety.

Haykin is a prolific writer having authored numerous books, over 250 articles and over 150 book reviews. He is also an accomplished editor with numerous editorial credits.

Reviews

[Ana Paula Nunes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Achei muito legal os passos práticos para aprofundar a amizade. E amei a capa 😊

[Autumn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really great booklet on biblical friendships!

[Vinícius Pimentel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Neste livreto, Beeke e Haykin procuram resgatar a importância das amizades cristãs para nosso crescimento em piedade. Os autores fazem um panorama do ensino bíblico sobre o significado da amizade e apresentam exemplos de grandes amigos na história da igreja; por fim, expõem alguns conselhos práticos para criar e cultivar amizades bíblicas. Leitura instrutiva e desafiadora sobre um tema pouco valorizado tanto na igreja quanto no mundo.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is by far my favorite in the “Cultivating Biblical Godliness” series. I loved learning about the friendship between John Ryland Jr. and Andrew Fuller. They were friends for decades and many of those years consisted of a long distance friendship. They kept in touch by writing letters frequently. It was encouraging to me as my two closest friends are no longer in reasonable driving distance and we rely on technology to keep in touch. The book also encouraged and challenged me to spend more time and energy investing in friendships where we live now.

[Shannon McGarvey · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite CBG book so far! Very refreshing and encouraging. I definitely needed this book as a new believer.

[Amy Esslinger · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Every relationship means risk, but we must take the risk; for while nearly all our sorrows come from our connection to others, nearly all our joys have the same source. We cannot help ourselves; for it is part of the great discipline of life.”

This is such a great pamphlet! It shows the importance of friendships, practical steps to develop deep friendships, and the reminder that no matter if we develop the deep, close relationships we long for on earth, we have the hope of one day being with Christ, who is the greatest friend anyone could ever wish for.

[Owen Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very helpful and brief look at biblical friendships. I enjoyed listening to the audiobook version - these are great as means of encouragement and growth in godliness for times like long work commutes. That time driving is great for keeping your mind focused on God and the truth of His Word.

[Courtney Shevchenko · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another wonderful book in the Cultivating Biblical Godloness series. I intend to add every single one to my shelves as budget allows.

This particular book has given me lots to think on regarding wisdom in choosing Godly friends.

[Marcella Chatham · Rating 4 out of 5]

Especially loved the last third of this. Overall, helpful in principle and practice. A star off cuz I wish it was longer. Lol

[Rafael Salazar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excelente material! Uma reflexão rica em um assunto tão fundamental para a vida cristã deve ser valorizada e estudada. Beeke e Haykin não decepcionam nunca!

[Bambi Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic little book. Handed this one to my teens when I finished.

[Gabie Peacock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful short book on friendship in the Christian life. It caused me to reflect on my "level four" friendships and have extreme gratitude for those that are "closer than a brother". This particular quote convicted me and will continually be on my mind, "Our best friends are those who's company most make us afraid to sin." Fantastic practical principles and reflections on Godly friendships throughout church history. Highly recommend. Will definitely be rereading.

[Rebeca · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an amazing booklet! It's a MUST READ (and I'm not exaggerating).
Haykin is able to show how friendships were developed in the New Testament all the way through Church History and to the practical tips.
What a blessing it was to read this booklet!

[Morgana Mendonça dos Santos · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excelente livro sobre amizade bíblica. O último ponto do livro sobre a esperança da amizade perfeita com Cristo é incrível.

[Jonathan Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good short introduction to Biblical friendship. I am teaching on this in a week and will lean heavily on the research here. Recommended

[Cindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve read these suggestions in other books, good consistency but not new information for me. A great read for someone searching this topic for the first time with a Biblical view.

[Tawna Jacobs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a fantastic little book with so much great encouragement and wisdom! Loved it!

[Dani Barbosa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Direto, rápido e prático. Uma ótima leitura para refletirmos a respeito da nossa relação com as pessoas. Num momento atual onde a maioria não quer desenvolver laços duradouros e de amor mútuo, podemos ser diferentes, buscando amizades piedosas diante de Deus

“O verdadeiro amigo é aquele que o ama incondicionalmente, sem olhar para sua determinação ou capacidade”

Algo que gostei bastante é que o autor mostra muitos exemplos de amizades que estão contidas na própria Bíblia e como podemos aprender com elas.

Além disso, as várias dicas práticas de como desenvolver nosso relacionamento com as pessoas, de maneira harmoniosa e santa

“A amizade é a vida da vida”

Graças a Deus pelas amizades que Ele nos proporciona. A amizade alegra a nossa alma em grande medida - ela nos fortalece e aproxima de Deus

Por fim, temos o nosso melhor amigo, o nosso Irmão mais velho, Aquele que une todas as amizades prudentes: Jesus

[Chandler Collins · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great little booklet providing biblical wisdom about the formation and function of Christian friendship. I appreciated the historical perspective that both authors brought to this discussion as both writers are historical theologians, but they also engage the biblical text in a fantastic manner. The table of contents for this little book really functions as the outline:

Friendship in the Holy Scriptures:

Paul's Understanding of Friendship
Paul's Friendship with Timothy
Paul's Hunger for Companionship while Facing Death

Friendship in the Christian Tradition:
John Calvin's Friendships
An Eighteenth-Century Friendship
Two Baptist Friends

The Art of Building Godly Friendships

Practical Steps Toward Deepening Friendship

[Vincent Ng · Rating 5 out of 5]

Described as a brief survey, How Should We Develop Biblical Friendships? explores friendships from the perspective of Scriptures and from few characters throughout church history and how we can come to understand biblical friendships today. Moreover, the book provides ten practical ways Christians can work on developing such friendships. It is definitely a helpful booklet on an important, yet almost lost aspect of our lives.

[Joanna Morales · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve searched for solid biblical books on friendships. Some were too verbose, some were too childlike, but this was just perfect. Short and sweet. Theologically and practically balanced. I appreciated how they woven friendships from church history. Often times I find, “Jesus is your friend. You don’t need earthly friendship” in Christian writings, but this was a good balance and makes our earthly friendships even sweeter.

[PJ Wenzel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Only 43 pages but very helpful. Great perspective on friendship grounded in a biblical worldview. Good insights and history along the way, with a few neat turns of phrase and articulated truths that will have you underlining as you go. Definitely worth sitting down and reading, then contemplating and putting into action.

[Nicholas Potts · Rating 5 out of 5]

The idea of “friendship” is foundationally Christian. This is not to say that non-Christians cannot have friendships, they are created in the image of God, so they can. Rather, the worldview of Christianity is what provides a basis for friendships and explicit Christian living makes friendships more pure and deeper. Great book!

[Eric Schick · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book opened my eyes to see friendship as a means of grace. I have always thought of Christian fellowship as a means of grace but never realized how significant the Lord uses Godly friendships to cultivate his grace in them.

[Justin Genus · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of useful quotes. 5-star content in the practical section at the end of the book. History section weighs down the work. Seem like Haykin proposed an idea and they tagged Beeke’s pastoral wisdom onto it.

7.5/10

[JPaul · Rating 3 out of 5]

Perhaps it was simply the subject matter, but I had difficulty focusing in on this one.

[Lia Ross Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Only 46 pages but PACKED with truth! Theological and very practical.

[Elizabeth Aucoin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short little pamphlet that was helpful and practical, easy and quick read and a good place to start on the topic of biblical friendship

[Drew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very brief, yet very helpful.

[Cameron · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audio booked as apart of a 5 part series. Loved the series.