שלום, חבר מזויף

Hello #2

by Kelsie Hoss, קלסי הוס (Author's Hebrew Name), יעל צוק (Translator)

וידוי: אני ידועה בכך שאני כותבת את הסופים הטובים המאושרים ביותר.... אבל לא מאמינה באהבה.

אבל אסור לך להגיד את זה בשידור חי בטלוויזיה, כשאת עושה קידום מכירות לסרט המבוסס על הספר שלך. מפיקי הסרט יכעסו מאוד ויאיימו לבטל את סרט ההמשך. אלא אם כן תוכלי להוכיח לציבור שיש לך חבר. חבר אמיתי, לא כזה ששוכן בדפי הספר.

ג'ונאס נראה כמו אופציה מושלמת להיות חבר מזויף – רואה חשבון רגיל כזה, שגם אם יעברו מיליון שנה לא אפתח כלפיו רגשות. כלומר, עד שאני לומדת להכיר אותו יותר...

הוא אמין, מתחשב ויש לו משפחה מהסוג שהלוואי שהייתה לי כשהייתי ילדה.

מערכת היחסים המזויפת הייתה אמורה להציל את הקריירה שלי מחורבן, אבל עכשיו אני חוששת שבמקום זאת, היא תחריב לי את הלב.

שלום, חבר מזויף הוא קומדיה רומנטית עסיסית המסופרת מנקודות מבט כפולות של גיבורה בטוחה בעצמה, פלאס סייז, רואה חשבון חתיך (ולגמרי לא משעמם), והרבה פיקנטיות.
קוראים מעל גיל 18, תיהנו ;)

הערה: הספר הזה נקרא בעבר Confessions of a Smutty Romance Author
ספר זה הינו חלק מסדרה, כל ספר על זוג אחר וניתן לקריאה כבודד.

Genres: Romance, Audiobook, Contemporary, Fake Dating, Contemporary Romance, Plus Size, Fiction

352 pages, Paperback

First published December 15, 2023

About the author

My favorite stories are the ones that make you laugh, cry, and feel. In all of my books, you’ll find amazing curvy women, heartwarming moments, and plenty of laughter.

I currently live in Colorado where I watch way too many rom coms, chase my three boys up the mountains (huffing and puffing), and write books for lovely readers like you.

Reviews

[Dakota W. · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have extremely mixed feelings on this book. On one hand, Kelsie is such a talented author that she truly brought out intense emotions in me while I was reading. On the other hand, those emotions were primarily anger and frustration at Mara which made the book quite difficult to get through. Overall, I think that this book is definitely worth a read and I would encourage anyone on the fence to pick it up. It was just wasn't a good mesh for my personality.

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I guess I’m in the minority but I really didn’t like this addition to the Confessions series much at all. I adored Birdie and Cohen’s story and was looking forward to this - until Mara ruined it. The other characters alone would have made this a five star read……Mara gets one and that’s generous….so I had to a average it out.

The writing is solid and I like the body positive message, although it’s not exactly realistic. The side characters are awesome. Jonas is literally THE PERFECT MAN and his family is wonderful. He was way too good for Mara and didn’t deserve the crap she put him through. I was actually talking to my kindle by the end, begging him not to go after her. He made all the sacrifices and I really don’t think those sacrifices were worth it.

[Kristen Barfoot · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh my GOD what a frustrating book.

First 70% of this book? 4.5/5 stars.

Last 30%? 1.5/5

I was 100% on board with these characters and this storyline of plus size, fake dating, opposites attract book.

I will say that I do get bored easily with the FMC which major commitment issues but this book took it to a wholeeee new level. Her thought processes and mindset made no sense through the book, especially after finally agreeing to be in a committed relationship.

She is the queen of self sabatoge and lives in a freaking land of delulu.

a. Wanting kids and not wanting kids ACTUALLY IS a deal breaker... I feel like they should have just broken up at that point.
b. Her getting an offer to move across the country for the next 9 months (for years to come) and truly not thinking about running it by ANYBODY else after she agreed to be in a serious relationship? also not even friends? not thinking about her responsibilities she'd be leaving after she claimed this group was her family? then comparing her jumping her life across the country for 9 months, to Jonas working increased hours during tax season?? complete delulu.

I can't STAND her selfishness. I thought she'd EVENTUALLY grow... but nope.

Also I feel like this group of friends and family is shitty... how did NOBODY hold her accountable at any point.... maybe you SHOULD have considered other things before accepting this new crazy job... maybe you SHOULD have a conversation before moving out of this guys house, calling off the relationship, and calling a new guy to sleep with... why is nobody calling her out on this toxicity.

And they just blamed Jonas??? for not moving slow enough??? for scaring her?? lord help him. No wonder he always thinks he's in the wrong.

ughhh total ICK.

Anyway.. I was so stoked to read through all the books in this series but if this is the type of character that I'd be reading about, I'll definitely pass.

[Cozy Taurus · Rating 1 out of 5]

*DNF
Personally, I think that Mara is one of the worst main characters I have ever read in a romance novel. She was horrid. Jonas should have run away fast. Ugh.

[Amy Heilman · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book but ultimately it wasn’t an enjoyable read for me. I didn’t feel attached to any of the characters, it felt rushed and I cringed often from all the predictable over-the-top cheesy cliches.

[Gift Gieban · Rating 1 out of 5]

Mara was not a likable character. I felt terrible for Jonas; he deserved so much more than someone that really didn't care for him.
I LOVED Birdie's book (Hello, #1, 5 ⭐) so much, but I'm not sure if i'm going to finish the series because of how much I HATED Mara's book. 😭

[Amanda · Rating 1 out of 5]

Mara suuuucks. DNF @ 24%

[suonnahbooks · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hello Fake boyfriend by Kelsie Hoss
-we get into the trope and spice quick and im into it oufff
-omg their conversations had me laughing and giddy
-her past with her parents is so sad but shows her strength and resilience
-Jonas is a dream I love that man but there a few things that Mara did that turned me off
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Jessica · Rating 1 out of 5]

Mara is the worst. I got halfway through and DNF. On to Hen's story. Hopefully, Hello Temptation makes up for my hasty purchase of the entire series.

[Christina · Rating 2 out of 5]

Jonas is perfect. Love him.
The premise? Not great, not terrible.
Mara? She sucks.

Trauma is difficult to deal with and not everyone has. Trauma, while it allows you to UNDERSTAND someone’s behaviors, it should never be used as a justification or excuse for treating people like crap. Mara talks about how she’s been to therapy & it’s great she didn’t slip in to the habits abusive and destructive habits of her upbringing. That being said, she has her own brand of destructive and abusive habits that may not be physically and outright abusive, they are harmful and hurtful nonetheless.

She sleeps with someone the same day she leaves Jonas, she gaslights this poor, decent human being into thinking HE did something wrong because he wanted to be factored in to her life when she makes life changing decisions (since she didn’t give a s**t cause she said she was doing it regardless). So she put her career before “the love of her life”. She says nobody has ever put her first even though Jonas left work in the middle of a meeting with a client because she got a letter in her mailbox. I’m sorry, but WHAT?! It wasn’t life or death. She was upset the letter was put in her mailbox (her father wasn’t there at the time) & she was scared to read the letter. This man LEAVES WORK when he’s with someone and up for a promotion for something that could be dealt with once he got home. He gets in trouble for it (his boss is absolutely a jerk but that’s not the point I’m trying to make right now).

Absolutely NONE of her “friends” call her out on her toxic behavior & essentially blame Jonas for things. He wanted children & a family but said he didn’t care as long as he could be with Mara, giving up that desire because she didn’t want kids. Jonas went ABOVE & BEYOND for this woman & she is wholly undeserving of it due to her treatment of him. Wanting children & not wanting children is a pretty significant difference in desires.

I would have a completely different opinion of this book if it ended with each of them finding happiness that was in line with their characters and desires, separate from one another. Reminiscing on their time together & their “love” but realizing it wasn’t right. Learning from each other to truly understand themselves and what they want out of life….THAT ending would’ve made this an enjoyable book. With the ending as is, hard pass.

[Kelsie Hoss · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved writing Mara's story. She is a firecracker in every sense of the words. She fights hard, works hard, plays hard, and loves even harder. She has a lot to move past for her happily ever after, but Jonas, her sexy accountant is more than worth it!

[nikkyireads · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mara does not deserve Jonas. There. I said it. Don't come at me. 😬

‼️‼️‼️(Semi- spoilers below) ‼️‼️‼️
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Jonas deserves all the stars. He is sweet, romantic, reliable, kind, and too forgiving! Mara is a hurricane. She's a great friend, a flirt, and a great writer. She had a tumultuous childhood and doesn't believe in love. When a fake relationship with a friend turns into more, she runs. But Jonah never stops chasing her. I honestly liked them together, too. What killed me is the hotel + Hayden. Jonas was so understanding and barely batted an eye. Then, at the 3rd act break up, Mara was so quick to write off Jonas and not even hear him out. 😑😑 Without those scenes, I would have probably rated this 4ish⭐️

↳ Fake Dating
↳ Opposites Attract
↳ Curvy FMC
↳ Accountant x Romance Writer
↳ Dual POV
↳ Found Family


📍 𝐿𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑢𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑓 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑦. 𝑂𝑛𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠𝑛'𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑖𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡.

📍 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑚𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑣𝑒 𝑖𝑛 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑖𝑙𝑦 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑜.

📍𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑤𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡; 𝑤𝑒 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝐼 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑖𝑡.

[Mitha · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF.

After 3 chapters, I knew I hated Mara's character, and wouldn't be able to stand reading the rest of the book. She's selfish, stupid, and judgemental, and that's only what I found from 3 chapters. Jonas already looked like an amazing guy, but I somehow knew I was gonna hate the whole story cuz Mara wouldn't be worthy of him. Couldn't make myself continue reading it. But, pretty good writing, though...just not my cup of tea.

[Kristen · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF at 67% Loved Jonas & his family, was a fan of Mara as a side character in book one, but by this point in her book, I was not interested in another 30% of Mara’s story. So I skimmed a few reviews and confirmed that continuing would have only left me more frustrated. I have read two other books in the series though & enjoyed them (I accidentally started out of order). And I liked all of the other characters so I am going to just jump to Hen’s story now instead of finishing this one.

[Brandece · Rating 3 out of 5]

After enjoying not only the first book, but Mara's character in the first book (and if I'm honest this is the one I was most interested of all three) I wanted to love this book, and honestly I truly thought that I would. But in the end it was just okay. I will say that I love the plus size rep. Mara is a confident plus size woman, she loves how she looks and isn't afraid to show it. I did love how well Mara fit into Jonas' family and loved that Jonas was really in Mara's corner when it came to her complicated family history. I obviously adored the friendship between Mara and her friends, and really liked the premise of Mara being a romance author. I didn't even mind that Mara was with another man at a few points in this book, but I didn't love how he was used when it came to the conflict. And I feel like as a whole Mara had a lot she needed to work on and would have loved to actually see the outcome of her doing that work. If I am being honest I really loved Jonas as the hero and I felt like he deserved better. This book felt very long; we get to what is the conflict and it is resolved only for there to be so much book left. Our MC get to be happy for like a day and boom another conflict. One of the conflicts wasn't really resolved IMO, it was more just Mara telling Jonas how it was and him going with it. All and all I didn't hate this book, but it was not my favorite, but I will read the last book in the series to see where it all goes.

[kimmie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Jonas didn't deserve Mara & i said what I said

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wanted to love this book but I CANT STAND Mara

[Manar · Rating 1 out of 5]

Mara sucks!!!!! How does she NEVER choose him and he always runs back to her? The most selfish character I’ve read in a romance novel ever!

Also did anyone else get so confused when she literally ran away and cheated on him (slept with her old fuck buddy) because he asked someone out before their arrangement? Like she had sex with his mother’s neighbor beforehand but he could ASK someone on a date?

Also is the author a skinny girl? or just a really insecure bigger girl? As a bigger girl myself, I couldn’t STAND the constant insecurity about her size. Dear author, we get it when it was mentioned the first time. The insecurity was so annoying and so weird considering she’s supposed to be a confident woman. it didn’t even fit the character? anyway rant over i’m only finishing up the series bc i bought directly from the author the 5-book series. Never doing that again.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Spoilers!






I couldn’t stand Mara. She treated Jonas like garbage. When she panicked about the relationship moving forward, she immediately goes and cheats on him. Like IMMEDIATELY cheats. He takes her back, completely without judgment. He is even willing to give up being a father just to make her happy and stay with her. Then, when Jonas doesn’t immediately celebrate her TV deal that would take her away for 9 months of the year and was a little upset she didn’t even talk to him about it, she drops him and refuses to accept an apology. She’s the worst.

[Nikki Wood · Rating 2 out of 5]

gutted at this stories main character

I love the hello series but this is my least favourite, Mara is awful and Jonas deserves so much better than her! It reads like a childish teen romance with the way Mara behaves. I was so disappointed I felt the need to review it!
I took longer to read this one as I just didn’t ‘feel’ it the way I did the rest so it didn’t grip my attention. I have a few more in the hello series still to read and I look forward to them!

[Andrea van der Meer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mara’s story just wasn’t to my liking. She feels selfish, all because of her past. In my eyes, that’s no excuse to behave like this.

[Misty · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book had a weird flow to it. There were two breakup sections and two HEA’s. I would have rated this book much higher if it would have just ended with the first one, with more filler in the beginning. I liked Mara so much more at the beginning of the book but after the first misunderstanding/breakup, not so much.
I don’t know if I’ve ever disliked a main heroine before as much as I disliked Mara. Jonas deserved so much better. I hate that every time Mara was a piece of shit, Jonas always felt like he did wrong. He was always the one apologizing, while Mara just skated by being unreasonable. He was so kind and so ridiculously thoughtful. Mara is nothing short of selfish and she should have just sucked it up at the beginning of the book after the interview and wore her single life badge.
I never felt sorry for her like I normally do during the big breakup section of the book. I just kept saying “yeah what did you expect”. “You did this to yourself”.

[Ashley Polo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fake dating is such a good trope when done well and it was done well here. I really enjoyed this book. I liked how there was this quid pro quo thing going on and they both were getting something out of it. Mara was such a great FMC. She was so strong willed and fiercely independent, sometimes to a fault. Jonas was the ideal man. I love how he bent over backwards to prove to Mara that he loved her and she was the one. Their relationship was tumultuous at times, but their love was never deniable. I’m a big fan of this series. I love the representation seen throughout it. Everyone deserves love and that is truly sent home in this series.

[Diane Bryant · Rating 1 out of 5]

Extreme fantasy. That's the best description of this book. The heroine became the villain in my eyes. She treated the guy like dirt, she didn't care much about his feelings and didn't treat him like a partner at all. She behaved often like a dude all us gals would be advising our besties to dump because he was toxic. By the end of the story I was hoping the hero would end up with the other girl.

[Ashley Prashar · Rating 1 out of 5]

I loved the last book I read. But this one is part of my dnf list. Hated the FMC. Like the whole ping pong between these two was toxic. Like I get it but I don’t cuz why would you rebound like that and be okay with eachother after.

[Yinks Undomiel · Rating 1 out of 5]

1 star simply for making me side with a man!!!! I cannot believe how selfish Mara is and how everyone else just tells Jonas he needs to put his feelings aside and GO AFTER HER? Up until the third act breakup, this was easily a 4 star read but Jonas deserved better!

[Sara Johnson · Rating 2 out of 5]

My book club made me read it.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read a bunch of this and then it languished on my "currently reading" shelf for months just pissing me off more until I just now sped through the remaining 15% just to see if anything got resolved that changed my mind.

I like Jonas a lot. He's a good character and easy to root for. Just...I hate Mara so much. And if I knew her in real life I'd probably applaud her choices, get it girl don't push aside your dreams or your career or needs for a man, but in a book, where I am in a dual POV, I just saw her making demands and Jonas weakly standing up for himself and then backing down and apologizing for ever thinking he should deserve anything for himself, and Mara and the characters and the book itself seem to agree that is right and good and correct. I mean, first we hit how he wants kids and she doesn't, and that's such a legit difficulty in a relationship with no one in the wrong, and I really wanted to see how they handled it but Mara says "this is my body and I am not having kids too bad I want nothing to do with you (even though you're doing me a favor right now) unless you agree to this" and pretty immediately Jonas says ok I guess no kids for me even though I really wanted them. Again, in real life, I would back a woman saying this, and I would understand a bittersweet breakup between two people who want different futures. But this is a ROMANCE NOVEL between these two main characters, so it was to work out satisfyingly, right? I assumed it would come back up, did I miss something in my last few pages speed read? It doesn't come back up.

Over and over again Mara chooses herself and her career, and sure yay girl boss, but like. If you have a partner, and a partner you think is a long term partner or even THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, then you do have to consider them and include them when making decisions like moving to Atlanta for your career. I'm taking it personally because this has been done to me, but like. Have the guts to break up with them because your priority is your career. Stop picking something else over your partner over and over and putting it on them to break up with you if they don't want to be a pathetic second thought. SO when Jonas very reasonably calls her out on it, that he's not really looking for a visit on the weekends kinda relationship, that he needs to be near his sick mom and his job so he can't go with her, that she's leaving him in the lurch with his mom, Mara still gets to be mad at him? and he comes back the next day to apologize because he is truly that pathetic? and the narrative and Mara both get to tell him being upset in the first place and "ruining her big day" is too big of a sin and they should stay broken up.

Grow a spine, Jonas. Find a partner who picks YOU. A career woman who doesn't compromise AND chooses you. It's possible, especially in fiction!

[Alberta]

I just read the prior book and found it predictable and afraid this one is much the same.
Not a big fan of the fake boyfriend trope anyway but I got to 5% and read a line that screamed “I know where this is going and I’m going to be irritated.”

Searched forward in the book and determined I was right. So this book is not for me. DNF after 5%

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just realized what trope I dislike the most in romcoms: 3rd act break-ups.
Can't we just have our HEA for our heroines, please?
Nevertheless, the book was OK. A lot of cliches, too soapy for me.