If Nothin' Don't Happen

by David M. Newell, Mark Livingston (Illustrator)

As cocky as fighting roosters, as sneaky as an old bull 'gator, as sly as a bobcat, as warm as Florida's Withlacoochee River that runs through "the Hammock" to the Gulf--Billy Drigger's kin are a good old family. And the tales Billy tells about them are the funniest and most authentic old-timey Florida Cracker tales you'll ever hear--about hog hunters and moonshiners "who done a little farmin' on the side," about mullet and snapper fishermen, about Unle Wint and brother Tarley, and the backwoods way of life that't vanishing fast but comes back natural when Billy starts recollectin'...

So let Billy Driggers tell you about the doin's at Bee Tree Slough, Gun Barrel Creek, Blue Sink, Bottle Springs and Hickory Ford, where memories of lost hunters' horns wail away far into the night. Meanwhile, a word about (and from) Ma Driggers's brother Winton. Billy's dad always claimed that Uncle Winton's problem with drinkig was not his will power but his won't power, but when Corson Luins shot Billy's old dad over closing a gate, Uncle Winton sort of took over, and for better or for worse (surely for better as far as the reader is concerned) took on the Pa role in the upbringing of Billy and Tarley. His view--namely, the Winton Z. Epps view--of these two Craker families: The Eppses and the Driggerses--was rough and tough and crusty. Their men was double-jointed and their womenfols was lusty. Their dogs could whip the other dogs, their horses run the fastest. And when it comes to drinkin' time, no Epps was ever lastest! True, friend, true. Which is why--as you'll see for yourself in tale after wonderful tale--there isn't one split second when nothin' don't happen.

Genres: Fiction

242 pages, Hardcover

First published January 12, 1975

Reviews

[Joan Jarvis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book full of comedy that will literally make you laugh out loud. It is a slower read than some books because of the slang and southern talk. It truly is a fantastic book that I will read again.

[Kathy Dobronyi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I live in Citrus County, Florida in the woods not far from the Withlacoochee River. Many will enjoy the many tales of this Florida cracker family at the turn of the 20th century, I believe the attitudes and beliefs are still alive in 21st century Florida.

[Gena Lott · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wonderful and authentic look at life in the hills. Well written and engaging. Often funny--either humorous or outlandish because of the life-style. Definitely a page from another era.