The Opposite of Settling: How to Get Everything You Want Out of Love and Life Without Losing Your Spark

by Case Kenny

Genres: Psychology

257 pages, Paperback

Expected publication August 18, 2026

Reviews

[LadybugLoreNotes · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is not bad, but it was more of a push myself to finish read than a page-turner. I had to motivate myself to keep going, even though the content itself was good. Still, the author covers many solid points that made me reflect deeply on my past and the kind of love I want moving forward.

I appreciated the author’s writing on how to reframe breakups or failed relationships in a more positive way …seeing them as opportunities to move forward, level up, and set ourselves up for a better future.

“You are walking away with the experience, the wisdom, and the confidence of someone who knows their worth and won’t settle for less.” pg 13-14

The author also makes an important point about how people’s behavior and words are often a reflection of their own inner struggles and limitations, not a deficiency in us (p. 131). He stresses that we don’t need to understand why someone did what they did. Acceptance is key, and we must remember that we are not them.

Another point that stood out to me is the idea that what we attract is a reflection of who we are. We often look for familiarity. We are like magnets, drawing in people who resonate with our current state of being.

At the end of the day, we all want to love and be loved. This book reminds us it is possible, while also giving us tools to recognize the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships.

I'll end with one of my favorite quotes from the book:

“I am no longer accepting crumbs from anyone because I deserve the whole bakery” pg 166

Overall, this book was good, and it covers many excellent points, but it wasn’t a book I couldn’t put down.

[Giulia]

The Opposite of Settling is a powerful manifesto for anyone who has ever been told to "be realistic." This isn't just about avoiding bad choices—it's a proactive guide to defining and fiercely pursuing what "exceptional" means for you. The author provides a refreshing blend of tough love and actionable strategies to raise your standards across relationships, career, and personal goals. Inspiring and practical.

[Maribel Torres · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very good book that reminds us that letting go of control and expectations, maintaining standards, and staying true to ourselves are key to success. I gave it 4 stars because it took me longer than expected to finish reading it, as it has sections that become repetitive. However, it also has many sections that are very empowering.

[Amy Richardson · Rating 4 out of 5]

There were parts of the book that were incredibly healing for me and I so appreciate that. It also helped me increase gratitude for the things I’ve learned in past relationships. I will say… around 60% through this book it starts to get repetitive and I found myself skimming the pages.

[Nikita M · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good read. This isn’t a rush reading. Have to take your time to understand each chapter.