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Romantic Jealousy
What causes jealousy? Who is more prone to jealousy--women or men? Why does jealousy sometimes lead to violence? How can you tell if you are a jealous person? Dr. Pines draws on case studies from her clinical practice, jealousy workshops, and fascinating research with more than 100 individuals and couples--including interviews with people who have committed crimes of passion. Exploring the many facets of this complex emotion, Dr. Pines discusses five psychological approaches to jealousy--covering such issues as whether jealousy is the result of unresolved childhood trauma, the dynamics within a specific relationship, or the consequence of our evolutionary nature. Romantic Jealousy offers real-life stories, simple quizzes, and an in-depth jealousy questionnaire aimed at helping readers assess their predisposition to jealousy and providing strategies to control their jealous urges. The advice offered can be applied to gay and straight couples, to those who suffer from a jealousy problem or know of a loved one who does, and for psychologists and counselors to use with their clients as a tool in therapy. Romantic Jealousy provides us with a compelling account of the psychology of jealousy. Dr. Pines journeys into the deep recesses of the human mind and heart, exposing the dynamics of jealousy--its causes, symptoms, and danger signs--and the most effective strategies available for keeping jealousy under control.
- GenresPsychologyRelationships
318 pages, Paperback
First published June 23, 1998
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
July 6, 2008
I read the first edition earlier this year and hoped this second edition would be slightly improved, instead of an exact reprint in paperback. Several years had passed so I would have thought it would be improved.
My memory isn't great, so maybe Pines did change a few things around. However, it felt like the same to me. Pines discusses various way to approach jealousy: a) psychodynamic (basically Freud - unconscious forces within the "jealous" person), systems (jealousy triggers occur relationship dynamics and best treated through couple therapy), sociobiological (evolutionary psychology and jealousy's universal), socio-psychological (cultures determine what types of behaviors are deemed jealous-triggering and how to express it) and cognitive-behavioral where jealousy can be a learned response and thus be unlearned.
Pines also shows ways people can "let go" of jealousy (swingers, open relationships/marriages) or be go to the other extreme and react violently. In her final chapter she also indicates a few coping strategies, and her appendices include a "How jealous are you?" questionnaire. It's pretty thorough.
It is dated, though, and again, seems too heavy on Freud's theories at some points. I think more should have been expanded on coping with jealousy and various other strategies. Her case studies are interesting and illustrate the points well, but at times felt like too much.
My memory isn't great, so maybe Pines did change a few things around. However, it felt like the same to me. Pines discusses various way to approach jealousy: a) psychodynamic (basically Freud - unconscious forces within the "jealous" person), systems (jealousy triggers occur relationship dynamics and best treated through couple therapy), sociobiological (evolutionary psychology and jealousy's universal), socio-psychological (cultures determine what types of behaviors are deemed jealous-triggering and how to express it) and cognitive-behavioral where jealousy can be a learned response and thus be unlearned.
Pines also shows ways people can "let go" of jealousy (swingers, open relationships/marriages) or be go to the other extreme and react violently. In her final chapter she also indicates a few coping strategies, and her appendices include a "How jealous are you?" questionnaire. It's pretty thorough.
It is dated, though, and again, seems too heavy on Freud's theories at some points. I think more should have been expanded on coping with jealousy and various other strategies. Her case studies are interesting and illustrate the points well, but at times felt like too much.
June 30, 2015
ayala discusses five approaches to jealousy:
(1) psychodynamic: Freudian, jealousy as a reflection of childhood experiences and unconscious forces
(2) cognitive-behavioral: behaviorist, jealousy as a learned response that can be unlearned
(3) systems: jealousy occurs in the context of a relationship and specific triggering situations, so more than the jealous individual
(4) social pscyhological: jealousy as a sociocultural construct
(5) sociobiological: Darwinian, jealousy as an instinct developed over the course of our evolutionary history
the main argument is that all five approaches or frameworks can be useful in treating a jealousy problem (even the last one, which is arguably helpful in breaking the fallacy of uniqueness that torments many a jealous individual, though i'm the least sympathetic to this one). prose is clean, clear, and precise. her pragmatism is rooted in her extensive clinical experience, very results-oriented, and quite refreshing. i learned a lot!
(1) psychodynamic: Freudian, jealousy as a reflection of childhood experiences and unconscious forces
(2) cognitive-behavioral: behaviorist, jealousy as a learned response that can be unlearned
(3) systems: jealousy occurs in the context of a relationship and specific triggering situations, so more than the jealous individual
(4) social pscyhological: jealousy as a sociocultural construct
(5) sociobiological: Darwinian, jealousy as an instinct developed over the course of our evolutionary history
the main argument is that all five approaches or frameworks can be useful in treating a jealousy problem (even the last one, which is arguably helpful in breaking the fallacy of uniqueness that torments many a jealous individual, though i'm the least sympathetic to this one). prose is clean, clear, and precise. her pragmatism is rooted in her extensive clinical experience, very results-oriented, and quite refreshing. i learned a lot!
July 25, 2015
I found this book illuminating of sorts. With zero background on psychology, I was pleased to have a crash course into the different approaches to treatment as well as clarify the many aspects of jealousy. I lack the insight to be more critical of everything I've read, and I've taken down many notes for future reference for both myself and my friends. I'm interested to see how useful her recommendations would be to our lives. I hope someone I know enters a jelaousy crisis soon.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews