Shooting Up: A Memoir of Love, Loss and Addiction

by Jonathan Tepper

Shooting Up chronicles Tepper’s childhood growing up in Madrid’s San Blas neighborhood, where his missionary parents founded a groundbreaking drug rehabilitation center during the height of Spain’s heroin epidemic. It is a tale of addiction, recovery, and loss seen through the eyes of an American boy navigating between his family’s dedication to helping others and the harsh realities of AIDS during a time of needle sharing. With lyrical prose and sharp-eyed honesty, he delivers an exceptionally powerful story of love and compassion. Shooting Up is a quietly devastating coming-of-age memoir that is as unsettling as it is unforgettable—a haunting exploration of belief, belonging, and the costs of sacrifice.

ADVANCE PRAISE
"Shooting Up is an extraordinary memoir of a unique childhood among heroin addicts during the AIDS epidemic, but it a universal story of love and loss that is powerfully moving. At a time when society is so deeply divided -- and faith is a wedge that is often used -- it is refreshing to read a missionary kid's true story of compassion and empathy for the outcasts. The book is also a tale filled with grace and humor in life's darkest moments."
-- George Stephanopoulos, political commentator and Good Morning America and ABC Sunday News anchor

“Shooting Up is an astonishing work that opens your eyes—and your heart—to a whole new world, one that is as beautiful and inspiring as it is gritty and harrowing. Jonathan Tepper is an extraordinarily gifted writer who has somehow managed to write a memoir that is at once heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, and joyous.”
— Amy Chua, Yale Law professor and author of Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and The Golden Gate

“In stark, often heart-rending prose, Jonathan tells the story of growing up with his three brothers and missionary parents in San Blas a drug overrun neighborhood of Madrid. It is a tale of tragedy and triumph in the midst of loss and death. Ultimately, Shooting Up is a powerful testament to the redemptive power of faith, friendship, and love. I couldn’t recommend it more highly; I cried, I laughed, I was changed.”
– Tom Webber, author of Flying Over 96th Street: Memoir of an East Harlem White Boy

“Jonathan Tepper’s gut-wrenching, inspiring memoir Shooting Up immerses you so deeply in its characters that you feel as if you’re living—and suffering—alongside them. Set amid the ravages of the AIDS epidemic in Madrid, this gorgeously crafted coming-of-age story is both luminous and profoundly humane. An unforgettable read that’s impossible to put down.”
— Joseph Luzzi, author of My Two Italies and In a Dark Wood: What Dante Taught Me About Grief, Healing, and the Mysteries of Love

“Shooting Up recounts a young man’s coming of age in the unlikeliest of places, and finds joy, wisdom, and humour in the darkest of moments. Reading this book made me think anew about grace, and gratitude, and the hard roads that take us there. ”
— Daniel Swift, author of Bomber County and The Bughouse: The Poetry, Politics, and Madness of Ezra Pound

“I too grew up as a home-schooled ‘missionary kid’ so I ‘get’ Jonathan Tepper’s brilliant memoir Shooting Up. Tepper’s story about addiction, AIDS and his parents’ work with addicts in Spain in the 1990s is a one-off insanely entertaining and wild account. In fact it’s the most riveting memoir I’ve ever read. Who else recalls his childhood with lines like these? — ‘As a graduation gift, my father took me to see drug rehabs. It was what we did as a family.'”
— Frank Schaeffer, author of Crazy for God

Genres: Nonfiction

304 pages, Hardcover

Published October 1, 2025

About the author

I wrote Shooting Up: A Memoir, of Love, Loss and Addiction. I grew up in Madrid in the 1980s, and my parents started a drug rehab among heroin addicts. Almost all had shared needles and were HIV+. They became my older brothers and sisters, and many died of AIDS. The book is a story of love and loss, but it is also a love letter to friends, family, and even learning.

I am the Chief Investment Officer of Prevatt Capital, an asset manager that makes deeply-researched investments in quality companies with a fundamental value-driven approach.

Previously, I founded Variant Perception, a company that provides investment research to asset managers. I started my investing career as an equity analyst at SAC Capital and then as a Vice President in proprietary trading at Bank of America. Along the way, with my friend and partner Turi Munthe, we founded Demotix, a citizen-journalism website and photo agency. We sold Demotix in 2012 to Corbis, a company owned then by Bill Gates.

I earned a BA with Highest Honors in History and Honors in Economics from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. After receiving a Rhodes Scholarship, I earned a M.Litt. in Modern History from the University of Oxford.

Reviews

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s been a long time since I finished a book and simply sat for a moment in silence, pondering the effect a brilliant and perceptive author can exert on our understanding of the world. Jonathan Tepper has written a masterpiece of a memoir - it both moves and motivates you to overcome life’s adversities, to live intentionally, and to love unfailingly. I read an Advance Review Copy in 3 days, and was blown away that a finance prodigy (he has written several New York Times business best sellers) can so beautifully distill his childhood memories as the son of missionary parents serving drug addicts in Madrid, in the chaotic and confusing early days of the AIDS virus. The author evinces a singular understanding of the themes that animate our fragile and fleeting lives (love, loss, grief, confusion, redemption, resilience and perseverance). Life has shoved at him powerful reasons to become bitter or cynical; instead, he unflinchingly faces and overcomes the insurmountable to then so poignantly honor the legacy of individuals who demonstrated the best of us as humans. This is a book you will remember…

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was able to read an ARC and have already pre-ordered 2 copies on Amazon.com. Without a doubt I'll be ordering more as gifts.

The author has written with transparency, clarity and in such a way to keep me enthralled page after page. It was seeing a side of the life of ministry among drug addicts in a foreign country. It was an encouragement, challenge and blessing to experience via the written page what God was pleased to do through a family so dedicated to this ministry.

[Scott Pearson · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're looking to cry in empathy with an author's grief and hardships yet sense an undercurrent of hope, this memoir might be the book for you. Jonathan Tepper grew up as a missionary kid in Madrid, Spain. His parents tried to "save" people for heaven in a new church, but failed. Then they pivoted their ministry to help people overcome heroin addiction, and they slowly grew a church and social service. However, the HIV/AIDS crisis hit in the 1980s, and intravenous drug users were among the most vulnerable groups to the deadly disease. Until HAART treatment mitigated AIDS, Tepper's childhood was spent grieving fellow church members who deteriorated and died.

If that hardship isn't enough, his family experienced some turmoil as well. They experienced personal loss. At times, they had trouble affording missionary school for their children. The children didn't grow up around scientific labs but focused on books alone. Tepper found his world in books, always present in their well-educated parents' home. His father was at Harvard Business School before following a missionary's path, and both parents' love of learning rubbed off in the Tepper children's lives.

To conclude his tale of youth, Tepper became a Rhodes Scholar at the University of North Carolina to study for two years at Oxford University. This scholarship is the most prestigious academic honor in the United States after an undergraduate degree. The entire story, though defined by hardship and death, is told with a resilient hope amidst the grief. Instead of just advertising hardship, it captures universal human themes like finding meaning in suffering.

This book should find a wide readership. It will appeal to religious and philosophical types, those valuing education and self-learning, anyone who loves an underdog story, and public-health types who appreciate the pandemic of HIV in the 1980s and early 1990s. It left me with tears across multiple chapters yet with my heart warmed. There aren't a lot of books about the HIV crisis among intravenous drug users, and this book gratefully fills a gap in the literature about this issue. Above all, it addresses the deep, human question of what to do with too pervasive human suffering. With all these themes coalescing in one tale, I hope the best for its launch.

[Duane White · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an Advance Review Copy (ARC) of Shooting Up… and I’m so grateful I did.

Some books inform. Some impress. This one bears witness.

Jonathan Tepper doesn’t write about addiction from a safe distance or with borrowed outrage. He writes from inside the neighborhood… inside the living room… inside the complicated, holy mess of a family that chose proximity over comfort. He grew up as a boy in San Blas, Madrid, at the epicenter of Europe’s heroin epidemic, where needles were as common as soda cans and the line between danger and daily life was paper thin. And yet this memoir never slips into spectacle. It feels disciplined. Trusting. Earned.

If wine can carry notes of tannin and tension, Shooting Up carries notes of Hemingway and Frank McCourt.

Hemingway, in the restraint. In the clean, unshowy sentences that refuse to beg for emotion and somehow draw it out anyway. The prose has grip. It slows you down. It makes you stay with what’s on the page.

McCourt, in the tension. In the child’s-eye view that allows innocence and brutality to share the same space without explanation or apology. Humor survives here, not as relief, but as evidence that suffering hasn’t won. You laugh… then realize why you’re laughing… and feel the weight of it.

What struck me most is how Tepper writes about his parents’ calling without polishing it into a brochure. Their compassion is beautiful… and costly. Their convictions are real… and sometimes sharp-edged. The mission is stunning… and the collateral is not ignored. That honesty is what gives the book its authority. You’re not being sold a triumph story. You’re being entrusted with a true one.

And the characters linger. Addicts, criminals, mothers, missionaries, friends… rendered with surprising dignity. Even when choices are tragic, the humanity is never stripped away. There are scenes here that stay with you not because they are sensational, but because they are sacred in their honesty.

Shooting Up is gritty and luminous.

Sometimes heartbreaking and yet somehow full of joy.

A memoir shaped by addiction, belief, and becoming… yes. But more than that, it’s a witness that something redemptive still finds people, even in the shadows.

I highly recommend it.

— Dr. Duane White

[Karen Wrobbel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a moving and powerful story of a young USAmerican growing up in Spain, the son of missionary parents who worked with drug addicts. The story was engaging, keeping me eagerly turning the pages. It is well-written from a literary and stylistic perspective, although I found myself needing to take breaks because it was emotionally intense. (I also lived in Madrid at the same time and knew the family, so the details about some of the sad events were especially impactful to me personally.) I was fascinated, challenged, edified, and humbled. I highly recommend "Shooting Up." Note: I received an Advance Review Copy (ARC), which is how I have already read this yet-to-be-published book (due to be released in February 2026).

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was able to read an advanced copy of this book. One of the best books I have ever read. The writer takes us through a time and a place that few of us have ever thought about or imagined. Through his writings, we gain insight into lives that serve as the ultimate example of the human experience, illustrating what it means to be meaningful, and witness the impact that the most humble of persons can have.

If you want to be challenged with what you have been able to accomplish with your time here on earth, this is the book to do it. Its both humbling, awe-inspiring, and intoxicating. Read it or miss out.

[Esther Filbrun · Rating 4 out of 5]

Occasionally, I hear from authors of upcoming books, wondering if I’d be interested in reading and reviewing their work. While not all books catch my eye, something about Shooting Up reminded me of similar stories I’ve read, and I was intrigued to get to know this family’s experiences, and hopeful of an encouraging, uplifting read.

What I didn’t expect was how much I would find myself in these pages. Like Jonathan, I grew up as something of a “missionary’s kid”, and though our lived experiences are quite different, I could relate to having a preacher father and not being sure in which culture I really belong after a while. As Jonathan put it, he was too Spanish to be American, and too American to be fully Spanish—it’s an awkward position to be in, but it’s also a beautiful thing to learn and hopefully keep the best from multiple cultures!

I did struggle with this story, though, despite loving the setting and unusual history it contains. There were little things I didn’t appreciate, such as mentions of looking at what I would consider pornography (or talking about a more innocent picture as if it were pornography), or the occasional bit of language.

From a broader perspective, I struggled with the faith element of the book. As someone who loves Jesus, I have read many biographies or memoirs of missionaries over the years, and I find their faith and love for Jesus inspiring and uplifting. For some reason, I didn’t get that same sense with this story. Though there was hope for physical help and change throughout the book, it always felt like we were getting the perspective of an outside observer. I loved seeing how the gospel transformed Raul and Jambri’s lives, but was saddened that the gospel didn’t seem to touch the author’s life in the same way—so for that reason, I struggled, on the whole, to connect with the narration in this story.

Even though I may not agree with the author on faith issues, I did appreciate the way he related some of the more difficult parts of his story. The subtitle of the book hints at loss, and while I can’t go into it for fear of giving spoilers, I can say that that part of the story deeply touched me. Having lived through something similar, I found it fascinating to relive parts of my experience through Jonathan’s eyes. My heart broke for this family, and gave me pause to reflect on what my family has walked through—and reminded me again of how much I have to be thankful for. Of the many different stories related in this book, this was the part I connected with the most, and I was grateful Jonathan was willing to work through it all again to share it with us.

I found this story to be a fascinating portrait of Spain at a unique time in Spanish history. As a Christian, I found the story of this family’s work to start a church and help people who were dying from drugs and AIDS encouraging. I also value the perspective we are given on the importance of choosing the literature that shapes our world, and I loved that reading was a main facet of the Tepper family culture. If you enjoy reading memoirs, especially ones about people who have vastly different lived experiences from “normal”, you’d probably enjoy this book.

I was given a complimentary copy of this book, and this is my honest opinion of it.

[Mbanga Ka · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was privileged to read an advanced review copy of this moving memoir.   On one hand, it's the story of an extraordinary childhood, with Tepper and his brothers suddenly deposited in a depressed and drug-ravaged Madrid neighbourhood.   On the other hand, it's an essential memorial to victims of the AIDS epidemic, reminding readers of a time when there was no treatment which could stop a painful death for those infected.

But really want lingers in the mind long after reading are two sets of extraordinary characters.  The first are the author's parents, who tread the line between idealism and recklessness.  They situate their large family in a desperate situation with little plan beyond their deep faith, and somehow manage to construct an international network of self-sustaining rehabilitation clinics which last to this day.  They shrug off dangers to their children and their household with breath-taking alacrity.  The other set of memorable characters are the addicts who grow to be leaders of the ministry.  Their transformation, the fire of their belief, and finally their courage in the face of death are moving and unforgettable.  It's of such credit to the author that his own memoir serves primarily as a testament to these characters, and the people of the neighbourhood, rather than being mainly a story about his own development.

[HalKid2 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Though not ordinarily a topic I would gravitate towards, an email review request from the author intrigued me. How could a memoir about drug addicts and HIV in the 1980s and 1990s possibly have a hopeful slant? But Jonathan Tepper was right; I was wrong.

This story truly begins with a Harvard student's LSD trip when he sees a vision for his life's work - to be a missionary devoted to helping drug addicts get clean. The student is the author's father, who then moves his wife and four young sons to an impoverished neighborhood in Madrid. Living off unpredictable and sometimes meager church contributions, the entire family begins recruiting local addicts (who are sometimes also convicted criminals) off the street to share their home and food, to get treatment, and to find God.

Shooting Up details the author's life over the next roughly dozen years. The children attend school only when finances permit. Much of their education comes from home-schooling, provided by two parents who encourage them to follow their individual passions. Fortunately, these are intellectually curious kids with strong self-motivation. Perhaps not surprising when their father chose unlikely books to read aloud to them, like Dante Alighieri's THE DIVINE COMEDY, Thomas à Kempis's THE IMITATION OF CHRIST, John Bryan's PILGRIM'S PROGRESS, and Saint Augustine's CONFESSIONS and THE CITY OF GOD.

At the same time, these children have to share both their parents with a growing community of people with many needs. Not easy for children who often feel they come second to their parents' missionary work.

The boys have few peers. Most of their close friends are the adults that surround them, those trying to stay clean and rebuild their lives. Yet these friendships offer the boys surprising depth and structure.

As the treatment program expands (it is now the organization called Betel International), participants grow and change. They find meaningful work. They earn trust from those around them. They get second chances. Even find love. All reasons for hope, even when the HIV epidemic strikes this population of high-risk former users. Remember, at this time, HIV was thought to be a fatal disease confined to gay men and intravenous drug users.

The book may start out like a basic first person memoir but it quickly becomes much more emotional with the consideration of various weighty topics. It does become more difficult to read (though not as much as I expected) but also deeply encouraging, and yes, hopeful. Fundamentally, it's about our universal humanity and resilience. You will be astounded by the tragic circumstances human beings can survive and also how relentlessly generous and loving they can be.

There were moments when I questioned the laissez-faire childrearing style of these parents, particularly in such a challenging setting. But more often, I couldn't help but admire them.

Shooting Up is without question the most compelling memoir I have ever read. There's so much to think about. The deep glimpse inside the world of addiction. The devastation brought by HIV. The fascinating exploration of how this unconventional family launches such important humanitarian work abroad. And perhaps the biggest takeaway of all - the recognition that criminals and drug addicts, those we so often stigmatized, are just like the rest of us. They respond to kindness, honor responsibilities, offer friendship, and behave generously. We all just want to be loved.

[Thomas Pearce · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read an advance review copy of this book. At first it is a bit like a memoir of someone who grew up in a family genuinely devoted to serving others and instilling values in the next generation, without embellishment or self-aggrandizement, and it is quite interesting. But before you realize it, you are in a sobering eyewitness account of love and loss, first of the personal impact of the AIDS crisis in Spain – as an ominous cloud, then a devastating tidal wave – and second, the time when the author’s family became “the others” who experience tragedy. The author weaves the honest journey of a young man growing up exposed to the brokenness of the world into a compelling story of deep love, shattering loss, and profound hope. This is a great book.

[Tom · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was fortunate to receive an advance review copy of Shooting Up. Tepper's exquisite mixture of the topics of the depravity of drug abuse, the tragedy of loss, the nobility of sacrificial service, the beauty of redemption and the value of family culminates in the most exhilarating story I've ever read. And to think it was real! I thoroughly enjoyed the literary style and vocabulary. Refreshingly real, to the point and eloquently presented.

Thanks for giving us a window into your life and choices that formed you, Mr. Tepper. My spirit was beautifully enlightened, my heart deeply touched, and my mind just a bit jealous that I had not walked a more difficult and disciplined path to reach such heights.

My favorite quote: “Suffering itself is meaningless. It is our response to it that gives it meaning, and that is not an easy task. The answer to suffering is always more love.”

[Miss Phoebe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shooting up.




A week ago I finished this memoir. It had me laughing, crying, pondering my own life. The writing was gripping, clear and laced with the attractive dynamics of Spanish.

The moral of the story gave a plausible perspective to the tectonic changes of now, for the author is both trained historian and practical economist. His formative grounding immersed him in his parents’ practice of Presbyterian social work. This , combined with his fastidious abilities in procuring accurate sources, make this account remarkable.



The book opens with him, aged 7 and his brothers (sounding Mexican but looking Swedish) handing out evangelical, homemade leaflets to heroin addicts in San Blas Madrid. On these is the invitation of ‘Ven’ with their home address.



This interactive social engagement in a childhood of the 1980s & 90s was the solid rock which fed his infectious hunger to understand all the intricate workings of the world from encyclopaedias, egged on by equally gifted brothers. Later the three of them would be graduating from Oxford on the same day, with Timothy their youngest brother with them in spirit.



Who would teach, in any of our great schools of finance , that a sound business model could involve being of sacrificial service, with an open invitation of love as central motto, to outcasts of the streets? Who would imagine that having a robust practice of music could also become essential to understanding the rudiments of success?



The story tells us of the addicts who become part of his family in the district of San Blas Madrid some of whom later continue to co -lead in the running of their Addiction centre. Some had been so hooked, they had stolen from their mothers or been made so ill by weakened immune systems, that having some relief in being cared for in the final stages of terminal illness, was the most they could hope for.



The Teppers housed, healed and mourned them , encouraging them to turn towards Christ and away from drug addiction . That old expression of ‘mi casa e su casa’ has forever altered its meaning for me after reading this.



It made me ponder the tragedy of contemporary life. We are educated to think that what is unpredictable and messy in life (as well as in death ) needs to be eradicated. The burden of social care of human beings is often shrouded from view, if not quantified , regulated and monetised.



What we uncover here, on the other hand, is that this burden could be the epitome of our being. In not abnegating responsibility, we are indeed nurturing our own spirit, which is our true and priceless asset. To comprehend such a transformational fire, we might then witness such growth and active light within.



The mass of humanity now seems regarded by the current dominant system as being non vital, expensive, expendable, obsolete and lumbering, whether we be outcast addicts or not. The miracle in evidence here is that an old fashioned thing called love, which becomes present when a fellow vulnerable human is held to the heart and words are recited of solace along with acts of ablutions and maintenance. These are beyond any financial benchmarks of companies. Daily requirements appear unglamorous as described here, but we will realise them as they are invaluable and irreplaceable and one day we and our most precious loved ones will be in need them too. If there is any such a thing as a divine, these acts of compassion are just that. The author describes such states of being in himself when he tragically loses a few of his closest loved ones.



Seeing the author apply himself to the study of history and old languages, not exactly business oriented pursuits, is illuminating. From this his hands-on feeling for the evolution of ideas has been distilled. We see the major moments of crisis and the times of challenge to both culture and society in a new light. I learned from him of characters like Castlereagh and Canning born of the peripheral lands in Ulster and their role in the reshaping of continental Europe in the early 19th century. This was a fresh find, being from Ireland myself and ignorant of their historical impact. The author’s knowledge of languages like the Ladina (medieval Spanish Hebrew) and the early Italian poetry of Dante, is a delight to encounter, capturing an energy and beauty of our past oral and written histories, mostly neglected now.



The lessons I gleaned from the book (as well as from the previous book (The Myth of Capitalism) confirmed my own bias and interest. I tend to favour nature and the organic far above machine or synthetic culture. To create my own analogy as inspired from his story, I might say it is like needing to be an agronomist in order to run a successful patisserie. So if you are interested in producing a strong business in the production of decent apple strudel , first you should develop mineral rich soil in order reduce drought risks and get optimum nutrients in your apples; then you need to consider the spectrum of flavonoids in your grain, maybe a perennial rye, for your quality pastry . So the cultivation of orchards and old grains, yields long term quality rather than short term quantity.

This all seems common sense yet ignorance and lack of scholarship seems to be our perennial undoing through the ages. Economics is but one branch on the tree of ecological life, so wiser to care for roots, to love both the tree and humanity as a whole, so we each can blossom in abundance.

[Carl A · Rating 5 out of 5]

A needle-sharp memoir from Jonathan Tepper, taking a heady and brutal journey through and beyond the addict-scarred streets of 80s and 90s Madrid. You can take the missionary kid out of the ghetto, but you can't stop him writing a book as compelling and as beautiful as this one. (ARC)

[Christian Barby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tepper's searing portrayal of life among the outcasts of 1980s San Blas captures the smells, the sounds, the light and love of a Madrid childhood like no other. Born to missionary parents who founded the BETEL drug rehab charity, Tepper writes with an unconscious elegance that fuses the emotional honesty of a child with the hard-won wisdom of a parent. Cursed by AIDS but resurrected by faith and purpose, the story of Raul and Jambri will live long in the hearts of readers. Who can say their best childhood friends were addicts? What lessons can we learn from a family motivated by the purest form of love: opening up their home to the helpless? At the beginning there is no plan, no funding - just faith and purpose. This dogged determination speaks to a higher truth: by simply placing one foot in front of the other, we can all find a way home. While rooted in faith, this is not an overtly religious book; it's unsentimental glare down the barrel of life, an unflinching portrayal of death and resurrection that obliquely mirrors the Christ narrative. The text is laced with wonderful quotes, many of them scripture, but also CS Lewis and others. My personal favourite was 'What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?' Matthew 16:26. Jesus asks believers to 'take up their cross and follow me,' and in the addicts of San Blas we find a real life reflection: a legion of lost souls who find redemption by helping others. The little boy who shot up has distilled their sacrificial truth into something remarkable.

[Mdmaurer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jonathan Tepper is a missionary kid (MK) who grew up in San Blas, a heroin slum of Madrid, Spain, in the 1980s. His parents started their missionary service focused on university student ministry, but soon shifted as they saw God leading them to work with the yonkis (junkies). This ministry turned into drug rehab centers throughout Spain. Jonathan shares the stories of the people his family worked with - people who became his brothers and sisters. He tells of the AIDS crisis that swept through the world, but from the point of view of one who experienced the pain and suffering it caused those he loved. He tells of the family tragedy that left them all reeling in their own emotions of loss and grief. His story, though, is not one of hopelessness and trauma of a young kid who saw and experienced very challenging situations in his life. Jonathan does not hide or cover the dark times; however, he shows hope in the midst of grief. His story is a prime example of what many MKs face as they grow up - the very real challenges and grief, AND the benefits of growing up in a land that is different than their passport.

This book has a large audience: If you are an MK or TCK, you will find a connection with Jonathan. If you work with MKs or parent them, you should read this book. It will give you an understanding of your own children or the ones you work with. If you are interested in the AIDS crisis in the 1980s - you will learn facts mixed with real experiences.

[Katherine Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shooting Up is a raw memoir of an American boy growing up in Spain during the height of the heroin epidemic and the AIDS crisis. Told through the eyes of a missionary kid, the story centers on Betel, the Christ-centered residential rehab and work program his parents founded. The book refuses to romanticize ministry, showing instead how heartbreaking, exhausting, and uncertain the work can be—marked by relapse, loss, and the daily nearness of suffering. Faith here is not tidy or triumphant, but lived out in the midst of chaos and grief.

And yet, Shooting Up is deeply inspiring. Without minimizing the cost, it bears witness to a Jesus who meets people in their brokenness and to a kind of faith that stays when it would be easier to leave. The memoir invites readers to reckon honestly with what loving the lost requires, while still calling them to give their lives fully, for Jesus, and for those the world would rather ignore.

[Pablo · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s a singular story, a true lesson in humility. We often wait for great heroes to rescue us from evil, but this book shows that a group of people broken by addiction can teach us that the world is also changed through small, courageous acts.

Jonathan manages to transport us to 1980s Madrid with a vivid, realist narrative full of contrasts: an American child handing out leaflets to drug addicts in a dangerous neighborhood, a community striving to hold on to hope amid the AIDS epidemic, Christian teachings trying to break through loss and pain.


It’s a book that deserves to be read. Raúl, Jambri, and all the men and women who built Betel inspire us to become better people, page after page.
I hope this book reaches many readers, and that the memory of those who fought against addiction —and of those who dedicated their lives to helping them— lives on in their hearts.

[Paul O'Higgins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jonathan Tepper has written a tremendous memoir of the establishment of BETEL ministry through the courageous outreach of Elliott and Mary Tepper.
It is not simply a feel good Christian testimony but a poignant account, not only of compassionate outreach to the most broken drug addicts of Europe, but an unvarnished description of how he and his family dealt with tragedy following the death of Timothy the youngest member of the family. Through the pain of great loss he describes, with stark honesty, how he somehow found the courage to go on and ultimately attain depite a greif that led him toteh point of despair to achieve extraordinary success.
We heartily recommend this memoir of compassion, pain and ultimately triumph.
Paul & Nuala O'Higgins - Reconciliation Outreach

[Andrew Cromwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a fascinating read! An insightful and poignant look at the life of a young man raised in a missionary family in Spain. The character studies are rich and vibrant and leave you wanting more. The vignettes of a young boy's formational experiences are painted with a wonderful brush. When the author could have easily turned sour in critique towards his parents, and his father in particular, a tact which the reader almost expects, he instead choses a much more interesting and less overtly critical route which allows the reader to make her own judgments.

Shooting Up leaves you thinking and wanting more.

I received an Advanced Review Copy of the manuscript.

[Jennifer Snelling · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that will stay with me for a very long time. Jonathan tells his story with such insight, grace, and compassion that I found myself moved from tears to laughter.

More than once, I’ve repeated his mother’s parting words to him when she dropped him off at university: “If you need any final words of wisdom from me now, then I haven’t done my job of raising you well.” (my paraphrase)

I even read snippets aloud to my children, who kept asking for "just one more page" whenever reading time was over. It’s that kind of book—warm, wise, and quietly unforgettable.

I read an ARC (Advanced Review Copy).

[Aashisha Chakraborty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shooting Up is a coming-of-age story told from inside a world most of us only glimpse from a distance: addiction, danger, and loss, but also loyalty, love, and the small ways people keep going.

What surprised me most was the emotional range. It’s brutal when it needs to be, but there are these quick flashes of dark humor that feel totally real. And then, just when you think it’s going to be all grit, it turns unexpectedly tender, especially in the way it treats the people around the narrator. Nobody is reduced to a stereotype.

The writing is vivid and fast-moving. Highly recommend especially if you like memoirs that are raw and gripping.

[Peregrine Cust · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an extraordinary story of a childhood set in an impoverished 'barrio' in Madrid. The author recounts the horrors of the heroin and AIDS epidemic that nearly destroyed a generation of Spanish youth in the 1980s.

It is a beautiful tribute to his family and many of the people who they helped. It is told with an unrelenting compassion and dignity. I was captivated from beginning to end and cheering for the author as he navigated the more mundane trials of a teenage life. I may indeed read it again one day.

[Phil Osborne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Had the privilege of receiving an Advance Review Copy of this incredible book. It was refreshingly raw, deeply personal and so well written. I found myself playing through scenes like a screenplay. I wept, laughed and rejoiced. Very hard to put down at the same time there are parts where I had to put it down because I felt Jonathan’s heartbreak and needed a few hours to collect myself. Hope it reaches and touches many. Thank you Jonathan for sharing your story and the stories of those you loved deeply.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is a rare book that I complete in one sitting. I took Shooting Up with me on a business trip after receiving an ARC. I took it out on the plane and couldn't put it down. I was drawn in by the vivid picture of a unique childhood among addicts and missionaries. I was deeply moved by the portraits of friends and family lost to tragedy and yet symbolic of hope and the enduring power of the loves and losses that shape us. Easily the most enthralling memoir I've ever read. I have recommended it to everyone I know.

[Zohre6 · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an insightful view of inside the amazing WEC ministry of Betel from its earliest days.
Much of it is a difficult read, not just from the explicit descriptions of drug addiction lifestyles and the ravages of AIDS, but also because there are a lot of Spanish phrases which are not translated.
It is also heartbreaking when Jonathan shares the anguish of the death of his younger brother and the death of his mother, but Elliott and his colleagues around the world shine brightly for his guts to save so many lives and give them dignity.

[Gian-Carlo Ochoa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shooting Up is a riveting, exquisitely written true story of a missionary family whose calling and sense of purpose are put to the ultimate test when the church community they serve—former heroin addicts—begins, one by one, to die of AIDS. Their foundation of love for these souls is further shaken when a personal tragedy rocks the family to its core. For most families, for most people, the losses chronicled in this book would be unbearable. But this family is driven by a Love Supreme—one that inspires hope, restoration, and a faith powerful enough to move the sun and the stars.

[Laura Gensel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to get an Advance Review Copy of this book. This beautiful memoir is a real, raw, and honest story about Jonathan’s childhood growing up with his family and their missionary work in Madrid. I found myself crying, laughing, and challenged by the deep love and sacrifice this family displayed to addicts. I would highly recommend this story to anyone, but especially those who are considering missionary work. It’s a beautiful picture of a family who was the hands and feet of Jesus to those who desperately needed him!

[Turi Munthe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shooting Up is a story of devastating loss - of the closest family, of friends, of a generation of heroin users in the teeth of the AIDS pandemic. It is a record of lives lost and a memoir of childhood, but it’s also a remarkable coming-of-age story. The loss in Jonathan Tepper’s astonishing book is transformative - the forge of a hard-won wisdom rooted in gratitude, hope, and wonder at humanity’s resilience and capacity for good.

[Simon Batten]

I was fortunate to be able to read an advanced review copy.
This is a most heartfelt story that moved me more than just about anything I can remember. A remarkable story of a pioneering family, following a remarkable path. Written in a fluid and engaging style, with tremendous insight into the human condition. It’s a very real and unflinching story of character and compassion, of loss and above all love. I could not recommend it more highly. It will long stay with you.

[Brian Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes you pick up a book and you really don't know what to expect: this is one of those books. But pick up this book you will struggle to put it down. You will read about places you probably never heard of, in a time you at best vaguely remember, about people you will never meet or learn about anywhere else but Jonathan finds a way to get you to care deeply about all of it. You won't read anything else like it in a very long time. Read it and you will understand.