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We Are Made of Scars and Starlight
★★★★★ “A powerful story about the fierce love of friendship, and finding the courage to love and accept yourself.” Elissa Grossell Dickey, author of The Speed of Light
When twenty-five-year-old Kai Larssen agrees to pose as his best friend Mariah’s date at a family gathering, he doesn’t expect to fall—hard—for her twin brother, Ray. Anxious, magnetic, and achingly off-limits, Ray is everything Kai has ever wanted. But coming out to Ray means risking Mariah’s privacy—and their friendship.
Back in New York, Kai and Ray grow closer, and Kai finds himself trapped in a tangle of half-truths and unspoken feelings. As the lies pile up, Kai must decide: is love worth the cost of betrayal?
Told in luminous prose, We Are Made of Scars and Starlight is a tender, heartbreaking novella about mental health, disability, and queer desire in the heart of the modern city. Poignant and full of hope, it’s a story of self-discovery, chosen family, and the courage it takes to be seen.
When twenty-five-year-old Kai Larssen agrees to pose as his best friend Mariah’s date at a family gathering, he doesn’t expect to fall—hard—for her twin brother, Ray. Anxious, magnetic, and achingly off-limits, Ray is everything Kai has ever wanted. But coming out to Ray means risking Mariah’s privacy—and their friendship.
Back in New York, Kai and Ray grow closer, and Kai finds himself trapped in a tangle of half-truths and unspoken feelings. As the lies pile up, Kai must decide: is love worth the cost of betrayal?
Told in luminous prose, We Are Made of Scars and Starlight is a tender, heartbreaking novella about mental health, disability, and queer desire in the heart of the modern city. Poignant and full of hope, it’s a story of self-discovery, chosen family, and the courage it takes to be seen.
150 pages, Paperback
Published October 14, 2025
33 people want to read
About the author
Nicole Zelniker
10 books55 followersNicole Zelniker (she/they) is the indie author of several books, including FROM WHERE WE ARE and WE ARE MADE OF SCARS & STARLIGHT, which have both been nominated for Pushcart Prizes, and her young adult debut, ALL I KNOW SO FAR. She’s also the founder of Knee Brace Press, which is an online literary magazine devoted to stories about disability and mental health.
In her free time, Nicole enjoys re-reading her favorite books, talking about the intersection of queerness and chronic illness on the internet, and cuddling her formerly semi-feral tabby cat. You can keep up with them on TikTok at @nicolewritesbooks or Threads, Bluesky, and Instagram at @nicolezelniker.
In her free time, Nicole enjoys re-reading her favorite books, talking about the intersection of queerness and chronic illness on the internet, and cuddling her formerly semi-feral tabby cat. You can keep up with them on TikTok at @nicolewritesbooks or Threads, Bluesky, and Instagram at @nicolezelniker.
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
August 12, 2025
Such a beautiful and heartwarming story about love, loss and found family.
This story follows Kai; who has recently been roped into a fake dating situation with his best friend.
What he doesn't expect is to fall head over heels for his best friends brother, Ray.
Kai and Ray start spending more time together, sneaking in special moments.
But when it comes to light that Ray isn't able to accept his own identity- or to commit to their relationship, Kai must navigate his way through heartbreak and grief.
This challenge soon brings unexpected friendships and bonds that he never thought possible.
First thing, I have to mention that I love reading about a chronically ill main character.
Kai has Lupus, and there is a lot of information in this story about how it effects him. This representation is really special to me, and it is a topic near and dear to my heart.
I do not often read books that depict this, so it is really a gem.
Also loving the queer representation here!
This story has a lot of characters with varying identities (gay, bisexual, demi-gender, trans, etc) which I always appreciate and find elevating in any book.
I felt so much for Kai while I was reading this. I really did.
The amount of suffering he went through, both physically and emotionally was devastating to read about, and I was so anxious for him to get a happy ending.
This is somewhat of a heavy read, but worth it.
It is very short and quick, but quite emotional. It certainly leaves it's impression.
Overall, a pretty good and fairly unique read! You should give it a go!
Thank you to BookSirens, Vine Leaves Press and author Nicole Zelniker for providing me with the eARC of "We Are Made of Scars and Starlight". I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
Official Publication date: October 14th, 2025
This story follows Kai; who has recently been roped into a fake dating situation with his best friend.
What he doesn't expect is to fall head over heels for his best friends brother, Ray.
Kai and Ray start spending more time together, sneaking in special moments.
But when it comes to light that Ray isn't able to accept his own identity- or to commit to their relationship, Kai must navigate his way through heartbreak and grief.
This challenge soon brings unexpected friendships and bonds that he never thought possible.
First thing, I have to mention that I love reading about a chronically ill main character.
Kai has Lupus, and there is a lot of information in this story about how it effects him. This representation is really special to me, and it is a topic near and dear to my heart.
I do not often read books that depict this, so it is really a gem.
Also loving the queer representation here!
This story has a lot of characters with varying identities (gay, bisexual, demi-gender, trans, etc) which I always appreciate and find elevating in any book.
I felt so much for Kai while I was reading this. I really did.
The amount of suffering he went through, both physically and emotionally was devastating to read about, and I was so anxious for him to get a happy ending.
This is somewhat of a heavy read, but worth it.
It is very short and quick, but quite emotional. It certainly leaves it's impression.
Overall, a pretty good and fairly unique read! You should give it a go!
Thank you to BookSirens, Vine Leaves Press and author Nicole Zelniker for providing me with the eARC of "We Are Made of Scars and Starlight". I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
Official Publication date: October 14th, 2025
October 22, 2025
You know, I have gripes with this book.
I was a little lost on the flood of side characters who don't have great contribution to the plot. I wasn't a fan of the prose at times, as the telling could be blunt and didn't leave much for interpretation. If the text were driving a car, then it would always be stomping hard on the gas pedal, even through dramatic moments where tapping on the breaks would've been nice. I thought that a majority of the characters were characterized by names, gender, and one unique trait for them.
But much of my gripes could be swept to the side because Zelniker did two major things that got me to grin. One of them is the easiest to summarize like this: it feels like Zelniker read and/or was aware of many trends that occur in contemporary romance these days. She followed many of the same beats, even, and when it got to the predictable turn which could have led to criticisms for the protagonist's questionable choices in morality and common sense, she said this:
"Nah, let's be better than that."
And then Zelniker proceeded to write a romance ending that we don't often see in Western literature, especially not in a Hollywood film. I'm grateful that the emphasis on found family added to and helped with that resolution too. It's surprisingly peaceful and realistic.
The other aspect that I liked was that Kai's medical condition wasn't downplayed. It was given respect and space. At times, it led to a few moments where I was wondering if it would contribute to an integrity test for particular characters. Turned out to be that way too.
We Are Made of Scars and Starlight is a novella that took time to grow on me. Pacing felt off to me, and I think I didn't quite buy into the romance plots. Yet I can see how and why Zelniker chose to write them in a particular way. I appreciate that immensely.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I was a little lost on the flood of side characters who don't have great contribution to the plot. I wasn't a fan of the prose at times, as the telling could be blunt and didn't leave much for interpretation. If the text were driving a car, then it would always be stomping hard on the gas pedal, even through dramatic moments where tapping on the breaks would've been nice. I thought that a majority of the characters were characterized by names, gender, and one unique trait for them.
But much of my gripes could be swept to the side because Zelniker did two major things that got me to grin. One of them is the easiest to summarize like this: it feels like Zelniker read and/or was aware of many trends that occur in contemporary romance these days. She followed many of the same beats, even, and when it got to the predictable turn which could have led to criticisms for the protagonist's questionable choices in morality and common sense, she said this:
"Nah, let's be better than that."
And then Zelniker proceeded to write a romance ending that we don't often see in Western literature, especially not in a Hollywood film. I'm grateful that the emphasis on found family added to and helped with that resolution too. It's surprisingly peaceful and realistic.
The other aspect that I liked was that Kai's medical condition wasn't downplayed. It was given respect and space. At times, it led to a few moments where I was wondering if it would contribute to an integrity test for particular characters. Turned out to be that way too.
We Are Made of Scars and Starlight is a novella that took time to grow on me. Pacing felt off to me, and I think I didn't quite buy into the romance plots. Yet I can see how and why Zelniker chose to write them in a particular way. I appreciate that immensely.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
August 17, 2025
We Are Made of Scars and Starlight follows Kai, as he navigates life and dating whilst struggling with his chronic illness. Because of his condition, Kai has experienced his fair share of rejection from romantic partners and even family members, but when he begins to fall for his best friends twin brother, it looks like all of that might change.
First off, I really appreciated the chronic illness representation in this story. I felt like Kai's character gave voice to many Lupus sufferers out there, and his ups and downs were portrayed both sensitively and accurately. It's rare to see a book tackle such subjects, and to integrate them into their characters so consistently.
The found family vibes were also great, however, I did feel like there were far too many side characters for such a short novella. At times I felt like I was being introduced to new people in every chapter, and it took away from the main focus of the story. All of the different names and their relation to Kai confused me, especially as there was no time to really develop them as people. I think that perhaps this story could have benefitted from a slightly smaller cast, and a narrower focus in general.
The romance aspect was also kind of disappointing, as it was not what I was led to expect from reading the blurb of the book. Kai and Ray's relationship was not really developed at all, and the author relies more on telling than showing. The story doesn't end with a HEA, and finishes quite abruptly in my opinion, so I was left unsatisfied overall.
All in all, this was an okay read, but I think it could have been better if it had more direction.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
First off, I really appreciated the chronic illness representation in this story. I felt like Kai's character gave voice to many Lupus sufferers out there, and his ups and downs were portrayed both sensitively and accurately. It's rare to see a book tackle such subjects, and to integrate them into their characters so consistently.
The found family vibes were also great, however, I did feel like there were far too many side characters for such a short novella. At times I felt like I was being introduced to new people in every chapter, and it took away from the main focus of the story. All of the different names and their relation to Kai confused me, especially as there was no time to really develop them as people. I think that perhaps this story could have benefitted from a slightly smaller cast, and a narrower focus in general.
The romance aspect was also kind of disappointing, as it was not what I was led to expect from reading the blurb of the book. Kai and Ray's relationship was not really developed at all, and the author relies more on telling than showing. The story doesn't end with a HEA, and finishes quite abruptly in my opinion, so I was left unsatisfied overall.
All in all, this was an okay read, but I think it could have been better if it had more direction.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
September 10, 2025
3.5/5 - This is a charming and heartwarming story about the power of friendship. Very well-written and executed near flawlessly on a technical level, though I feel the story leaves something to be desired. I do appreciate the chronic illness representation and queer representation. I additionally am glad to read a story that allows the good with the bad and doesn't have characters conveniently overlooking glaring issues, and that there were sometimes real consequences for bad behavior. The characters themselves were mostly well-realized, nuanced and easy to root for. So with all that said I've been wracking my brain trying to pinpoint what it is that rubbed me the wrong way about this story, and I think maybe it's the overall feel that I'm reading a soap opera - essentially this is a story of a small group of young hot friends living in the city and falling in and out of love. That can certainly be a solid basis for a story but isn't what I'm generally looking for.
Overall I think the right audience will probably fall in love with this book and I appreciate getting the chance to read it.
Thanks to BookSirens, Nicole Zelniker and Vine Leaves Press for providing me with a free ARC copy of this book. I am leaving this review voluntarily.
Overall I think the right audience will probably fall in love with this book and I appreciate getting the chance to read it.
Thanks to BookSirens, Nicole Zelniker and Vine Leaves Press for providing me with a free ARC copy of this book. I am leaving this review voluntarily.
August 20, 2025
I have very mixed feelings about this book.
I loved the friendships between the characters, and the main character Kai and his best friend Mariah came pre-loaded with a full backstory. They came across as fully formed, nuanced characters, and their friendship is at the heart of this book. I also though the depiction of Kai’s chronic illness was really good, and while I couldn’t relate to it all personally, I did see a lot of familiarity in the way people react when he tells them he doesn’t drink.
While I did like the romance, the ending was a massive let-down, and just came out of nowhere. I appreciate what the author was trying to do, but I don’t think it was executed as well as it could have been. Most of all though, I just wanted this book to be longer! We didn’t get very much time with these characters or this story, and it felt like a lot of details were brushed over where I would have loved to spend more time with them.
Overall I did finish this book feeling a bit disappointed, but there were still lots of strong elements.
I received a free copy for an honest review.
I loved the friendships between the characters, and the main character Kai and his best friend Mariah came pre-loaded with a full backstory. They came across as fully formed, nuanced characters, and their friendship is at the heart of this book. I also though the depiction of Kai’s chronic illness was really good, and while I couldn’t relate to it all personally, I did see a lot of familiarity in the way people react when he tells them he doesn’t drink.
While I did like the romance, the ending was a massive let-down, and just came out of nowhere. I appreciate what the author was trying to do, but I don’t think it was executed as well as it could have been. Most of all though, I just wanted this book to be longer! We didn’t get very much time with these characters or this story, and it felt like a lot of details were brushed over where I would have loved to spend more time with them.
Overall I did finish this book feeling a bit disappointed, but there were still lots of strong elements.
I received a free copy for an honest review.
September 6, 2025
This book left me conflicted. On one hand, it was an engaging page-turner that I enjoyed during a few commute this week. The main characters encourage your empathy and the plot twists and turns are well-paced to keep the narrative interesting. The main protagonists are fully fleshed out, but some of the supporting main characters felt a little 2D. And this leads me to what kept me from giving this YA read more than three stars: I thought it was all a bit too brief; and I usually value brevity in writing! I wanted to know more about some of the minor characters (some of their names came up a lot, and yet I didn't feel like I knew them well enough). Most importantly, for me the denouement was a little rushed and I would have liked to have known a little more about the new character who is clearly becoming important at this stage of Kai's life. The abrupt ending didn't leave me with questions, but rather with a sense of disappointment.
I received an advance copy of the book from BookSirens free, and am leaving this review voluntarily.
I received an advance copy of the book from BookSirens free, and am leaving this review voluntarily.
October 23, 2025
An absolutely adorable story about found family, finding love, and enduring life; that will leave you heartbroken and begging for more.
This short and easy to digest novel sunk its hooks into my heart from the very beginning. Kai and his chosen family reminded me of my own personal friend group to the point that I forget I was reading a book and not a long message chain.
I found the prose to be restrained and visceral, particularly the descriptive language around Kai’s illness. Some parts were slightly repetitive, yet never pulled me completely out of the story.
The secret meetings with Ray infuriated me as much as they tugged on my heartstrings. It is rare for a novella or short story like this, to spark the emotional center of my brain so deeply.
If you are a queer identifying person, a person with a lifelong illness, or you have had to build a life from the people who have drifted into your life. Pick this book up. You will not be disappointed.
Thank you Vine Leaves Press and BookSirens for the eARC.
This short and easy to digest novel sunk its hooks into my heart from the very beginning. Kai and his chosen family reminded me of my own personal friend group to the point that I forget I was reading a book and not a long message chain.
I found the prose to be restrained and visceral, particularly the descriptive language around Kai’s illness. Some parts were slightly repetitive, yet never pulled me completely out of the story.
The secret meetings with Ray infuriated me as much as they tugged on my heartstrings. It is rare for a novella or short story like this, to spark the emotional center of my brain so deeply.
If you are a queer identifying person, a person with a lifelong illness, or you have had to build a life from the people who have drifted into your life. Pick this book up. You will not be disappointed.
Thank you Vine Leaves Press and BookSirens for the eARC.
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December 11, 2025Nicole Zelniker is one of my favorite authors because she writes such layered, tender characters, and that's no different with Kai in this novel.
I would definitely classify this as literary fiction, but I think people get scared off by that label, so I do want to say that this feels like a book I'd recommend to folks who are nervous about getting into the genre. I love how accessible it felt with introducing the book universe, characters, and the lore/relationship dynamics.
We witness Kai navigate (fake) dating, coming-of-age (which yes, continues to happen after adolescence), and more. He endures the heartache and grief of feeling like someone's "experiment" (go listen to Wishbone by Conan Gray), and learns to make informed choices about loving himself. I loved this queer cast, who felt like real people I've met before, and the mix of playfulness and gravity within each connection.
I always love reading Zelniker's work, and will continue to read whatever they write next :)
I would definitely classify this as literary fiction, but I think people get scared off by that label, so I do want to say that this feels like a book I'd recommend to folks who are nervous about getting into the genre. I love how accessible it felt with introducing the book universe, characters, and the lore/relationship dynamics.
We witness Kai navigate (fake) dating, coming-of-age (which yes, continues to happen after adolescence), and more. He endures the heartache and grief of feeling like someone's "experiment" (go listen to Wishbone by Conan Gray), and learns to make informed choices about loving himself. I loved this queer cast, who felt like real people I've met before, and the mix of playfulness and gravity within each connection.
I always love reading Zelniker's work, and will continue to read whatever they write next :)
August 14, 2025
★★★★⯪ 4.5 stars. It was refreshing reading such an authentic and realistic story.
This book tells the story of Kai, a 25-year-old resident of New York. Kai faces many challenges, including chronic illness and emotional trauma. Thankfully, he has a great circle of friends he considers a family.
The main characters are well-developed, and their lives are beautifully woven together. We see deep friendships and found family. Excellent representation of the LGBTQ+ and people with disabilities.
Character-driven plot with no unnecessary shocking elements. Even though what Kai goes through during his lupus flare-ups can be shocking to some readers, it’s nothing more than the reality of many people.
The only part that wasn’t to my taste was how Kai’s romantic life evolved at the end. It gives me “rebound vibes”.
This is the first book I’ve read by this author, and I’m going to read more.
I received an ARC of “We Are Made of Scars and Starlight” for free, and this is my honest review.
This book tells the story of Kai, a 25-year-old resident of New York. Kai faces many challenges, including chronic illness and emotional trauma. Thankfully, he has a great circle of friends he considers a family.
The main characters are well-developed, and their lives are beautifully woven together. We see deep friendships and found family. Excellent representation of the LGBTQ+ and people with disabilities.
Character-driven plot with no unnecessary shocking elements. Even though what Kai goes through during his lupus flare-ups can be shocking to some readers, it’s nothing more than the reality of many people.
The only part that wasn’t to my taste was how Kai’s romantic life evolved at the end. It gives me “rebound vibes”.
This is the first book I’ve read by this author, and I’m going to read more.
I received an ARC of “We Are Made of Scars and Starlight” for free, and this is my honest review.
October 2, 2025
4.5 stars
This was such a lovely and emotion filled story! It had great chronic illness (Lupus) and chronic pain representation. The story shows how much lupus affects Kai’s life and how he navigates his life with it. It also has queer representation with various queer characters.
Kai’s character is one that many readers with chronic illness / chronic pain will relate to. Kai’s story about his family was sad but it was nice how he formed his own family out of the friends he made and all the support they gave him and vice versa. I really liked how detailed their friendships were and how much information we get about the main characters.
The ending was unexpected and rushed but I really liked the turn it took. I winded up loving this story so much more than I had anticipated.
Thank you BookSirens for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
This was such a lovely and emotion filled story! It had great chronic illness (Lupus) and chronic pain representation. The story shows how much lupus affects Kai’s life and how he navigates his life with it. It also has queer representation with various queer characters.
Kai’s character is one that many readers with chronic illness / chronic pain will relate to. Kai’s story about his family was sad but it was nice how he formed his own family out of the friends he made and all the support they gave him and vice versa. I really liked how detailed their friendships were and how much information we get about the main characters.
The ending was unexpected and rushed but I really liked the turn it took. I winded up loving this story so much more than I had anticipated.
Thank you BookSirens for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
October 8, 2025
Kai is living in NY with friends & has a chronic illness. Due to this illness he always seems to find friends & lovers who disappear when he tells them. His best friend, Mariah is hiding her sexuality from parents & relatives & Kai steps in as her fake boyfriend of 3 years. This last visit he meets Mariah's twin brother Ray & feels an immediate connection. He & Ray start meeting up & hanging out. He finds the connection is mutual but Ray like Mariah is afraid to come out. Low angst, relationships lost & found, could be a HFN, not sure if the characters will speak up for the author to come back to this with a HEA for Kai and the others in the future. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
August 28, 2025
3.8/5
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily. This was a good and light read, and I think I enjoyed it to an extent, but not fully. It was a good book in terms of narrative telling, but I felt it didn’t hit the mark of enjoying books for me past entertainment purposes.
It wasn’t much of a queer book for me either, other than having characters who are queer and trying to establish queer love. I’m not sure it had a lot of world-building, but I love how the conversation was built. In all, it’s a smooth read, and I will recommend it to anyone who wants a smooth, fast-paced read on queerness and friendship.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily. This was a good and light read, and I think I enjoyed it to an extent, but not fully. It was a good book in terms of narrative telling, but I felt it didn’t hit the mark of enjoying books for me past entertainment purposes.
It wasn’t much of a queer book for me either, other than having characters who are queer and trying to establish queer love. I’m not sure it had a lot of world-building, but I love how the conversation was built. In all, it’s a smooth read, and I will recommend it to anyone who wants a smooth, fast-paced read on queerness and friendship.
November 4, 2025
The conflicts and struggles of the characters were realistic and well thought out, leaving them all feeling relatable in one way or another. This book is raw and emotional but has plenty of heart and warmth that keep it from feeling really heavy to read.
The ending did leave me feeling just a little unsatisfied. But it was because I got so attached to the characters that I just wanted more than what I was given. Overall, a really enjoyable read!
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
The ending did leave me feeling just a little unsatisfied. But it was because I got so attached to the characters that I just wanted more than what I was given. Overall, a really enjoyable read!
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
September 14, 2025
A snappy and well written novella following Kai and his best friend (and faux partner) Mariah as they navigate their early twenties as Kai falls hard for Mariah’s brother. Kai and Mariah are beautifully crafted, the other characters less so and as a reader I was left wanting far more from this story.
Thanks to Book Sirens and the publisher Vine Leaves Press for an ARC of this book in return for an honest review.
Thanks to Book Sirens and the publisher Vine Leaves Press for an ARC of this book in return for an honest review.
December 26, 2025
This is the most gorgeous story full of what chosen and found family is for queer folks. I loved the ways community and love and connection are all talked about in honest, devastating, and heart-warming ways. The representation from gender/expansiveness, chronic illness, and the journey of coming out and all the baggage it carries was so delicately pieced together. Highly recommend this sweet, soft, emotional read!
December 20, 2025
I loved We Are Made of Scars and Starlight! Finished it in one day. The characters in the novel are both intriguing and believable and beckon you into their world and friendships until your heart is attached. Kai’s struggles to find love and to love himself through illness and rejection moved me a great deal.
September 15, 2025
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I would give this book a 4.5/5 if I could. It was so wonderful and relatable; we all deal with not feeling as though we fit in despite our different struggles. I liked how realistic the conflict is handled while still being uplifting. My one critique is that the writing style was a bit confusing at times. There were occasionally lines I had to reread because I got confused which character was being talked about (plus, such a short book bounced around to a lot of different characters even if it primarily focused on one)
If you are queer, disabled, or just are having a hard time finding your way in the world, read this book! It's short, sweet, and has a lot of heart.
I would give this book a 4.5/5 if I could. It was so wonderful and relatable; we all deal with not feeling as though we fit in despite our different struggles. I liked how realistic the conflict is handled while still being uplifting. My one critique is that the writing style was a bit confusing at times. There were occasionally lines I had to reread because I got confused which character was being talked about (plus, such a short book bounced around to a lot of different characters even if it primarily focused on one)
If you are queer, disabled, or just are having a hard time finding your way in the world, read this book! It's short, sweet, and has a lot of heart.
October 22, 2025
A beautifully written celebration of love and friendship. The book’s commitment to inclusivity makes it not only touching but also profoundly important!
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews