I'll Try Anything Twice: Misadventures of a Self-Medicated Life

by Carly Schwartz

For readers who wish Elizabeth Gilbert had a cynical streak comes this propulsive, wildly original memoir about a journalist’s quest to conquer depression and addiction, set against the backdrop of international adventures and modern communal living.

Through the eyes of others, Carly Schwartz seems to have everything going for top editor at the world’s biggest news site, fancy college degree, a seemingly endless parade of friends and parties. But she’s been struggling with crippling, suicidal depression since she was a teenager, and by her late twenties she has learned to cope with a steady diet of drugs, alcohol, and unavailable men.

Then she meets a charismatic guy who invites her to move to the mysterious “sustainable town” he’s building in the Panamanian jungle. As Carly chases her appetite for adventure down to the equator, she ends up consumed by a darkness she can no longer hide from. And when she finally conjures the courage to confront her demons, she finds help where she least expects it. 

Equal parts hilarious and heart-wrenching, I’ll Try Anything Twice is a vivid and vulnerable portrayal of the search for belonging, the definition of success, and the risks we’re willing to take in order to learn how to love ourselves. 

Genres: Nonfiction

280 pages, Paperback

Expected publication March 10, 2026

About the author

Carly Schwartz is the former editor in chief of the San Francisco Examiner and founding editor of HuffPost’s San Francisco bureau. Editor & Publisher magazine named her one of 10 “Women to Watch,” and her writing has appeared in the San Francisco Standard, ELLE magazine, MSNBC, and more. As an advocate for suicide prevention and addiction recovery, Carly has been a spokesperson for the Jed Foundation and Google’s Recovery Month. She’s also the founder of Mindwriters, a workshop series designed to help people transform their lives through storytelling. She lives in San Francisco’s Mission District. For more, visit carly.ink.

Reviews

[Eileen Murphy-Schmehl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Carly Schwartz takes the reader inside her life in a beautiful and candid memoir. She writes of her experiences in journalism, her time in a jungle paradise - ( which was a reality show..)

Carly writes honestly about her struggles with depression and addiction, and what she did to be free. A compelling read.

I received a copy for free, and am leaving this review voluntarily.

[elena bw · Rating 3 out of 5]

this is going to be a long one.

i want to start by saying i am consistently moved by any author’s bravery in telling their story, but particularly by the bravery of authors who divulge their lives in recovery-oriented memoirs, especially knowing how dark the path can get before the good stuff happens. the author of this book was remarkably honest, open, and bold with the truths she was willing to tell, exposing so much of herself to the readers in the process.

unfortunately, that brings me to my second point, which is that i strongly believe people shouldn’t be allowed to write recovery memoirs until 5+ years into their recovery. this is partially because i think more time leads to more humility, but also because the recovery stories are where people get the most help, not necessarily the drunkalogs. yes, the fact that the author was able to get sober and feel better is a miracle, but exactly HOW miraculous it is can be lost by the reader when the first 86% of the book is telling stories about a LOT of substance use. only having 14% left to tell a compelling story of “here’s what worked for me” or “don’t give up” didn’t feel like enough time to have the impact I had hoped for. that’s not to say the before stories weren’t interesting - they totally were! but i think i wanted to hear more about recovery if the title/subtitle, book cover, etc. kind of pointed that way

[Stacy40pages · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ll Try Anything Twice by Carly Schwartz. Thanks to @booksforward for the gifted Arc ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Carly Schwartz may seem to have everything going for her but she is struggling with crippling depression and a steady diet of drugs.

A very genuine and interesting memoir that takes the reader through living with depression and addiction. It was unique because part takes place in a jungle, with a reality show- not very typical in an addiction memoir! This memoir really gives you an idea of what it’s like to live with depression and that can be quite powerful for those who are unfamiliar.

“The depressed version of yourself feels like nothing but a storyline, a sad relic of someone else’s past, a personality type you can merely describe but in turn feel nothing for.”

Read if you like:
-Mental health true life stories
-Depression memoirs
-Addictions memoirs

I’ll Try Anything Twice comes out 3/10.

[schmorireads]

Thank you to Carly Schwartz and her team for the physical and digital copies of this book.

Some lives unfold in straight lines.
Others wander.

This memoir reads like a long, searching exhale 😮‍💨 a young woman moving through depression, self-medication, and the restless hope that somewhere, somehow, she might feel at home in her own skin.

Schwartz writes with disarming honesty about drifting between communities, relationships, and identities, guided by a quiet “fake it till you make it” survival instinct. There’s a constant reaching here 🫆for belonging, for healing, for connection in a world that often feels disconnected.

Much of the story unfolds inside communal spaces built on openness, shared love, and alternative paths to wellness. For some readers, this immersive counterculture atmosphere will feel comforting and expansive. For others, it may feel distant or difficult to fully step into.

This is not a tidy story. It is raw, candid, and deeply personal🥺 a portrait of a young woman trying to understand herself while carrying the weight of mental illness and the consequences of coping the only ways she knew how.

Readers drawn to unfiltered memoirs and stories of wandering self reinvention may find something to sit with here.

TW: depression, addiction, drug use, infidelity

[Zach Dean · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read I’ll Try Anything Twice in three parts: laughing through the early pages, doing my best to ignore the ominous foreshadowing, and then saving the darker, more sordid Part 2 for a long plane ride where I could plow through it in one sitting. I spent most of that flight holding my breath — even knowing the author makes it out okay on the other side.

There’s a section midway through the book, at the end of the “Avalon Conflict Resolution” chapter, that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about (it’s equal parts funny and heartbreaking, exactly as advertised). The author reflects on depression in a way that felt brutally honest — wishing, if she could wish one thing, that her roommates could understand what it felt like to live inside her body and mind each day. I think for me, that's what I most appreciated about this book. That by the end, I felt like I understood depression a little better — not academically, but emotionally. I walked away with more empathy, and I’m grateful for that.

Thank you for writing this. I can’t imagine how hard it was to share, but I’m glad you did.

[Niels Joubert · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm fortunate to have crossed paths with the author at some of the events of this book, so I doubly enjoyed reading about the debauchery, heartbreak, and hope that was happening on the side of the room, tent, or commune!

Carly's book captures a specific time and place on the West Coast, as young and highly qualified women found themselves in the midst of a cultural current that swept so many of us along. Youtube filled with Burning Man documentaries, Vice magazine reports of progressive post-capitalist jungle towns, and polyamorous communes and we were heady with ideas and opportunities. Yet we found ourselves overwhelmed with the parties and adrift without frameworks to guide our decisions. Against this backdrop she unflinchingly tells her story of mental health, addiction, love, heartbreak and healing. Carly's distinct voice shines through as she looks at her own journey through the maelstrom of coming to terms with herself in this chaotic time and place.

This literary memoir neither preaches not condones, glamorizes or condemns. It simply takes us along as she grows and comes to terms with who she can be in this brave new world.

Bravo!

[George · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this. Carly’s memoir touches on universal themes of how everything can look good on the outside and still be crumbling on the inside, and how we’ll try anything to try to feel better. I was able to relate to those regardless of not sharing her experiences of depression or substance use.


Her coming of age story is very unique and it’s her keen commentary as a writer that really makes the book stand out. She artfully weaves together a raw and unfiltered account of her pain with entertaining and humorous storytelling.

In particular, I really liked getting to experience her adventures simultaneously through the youthful naivete of her younger self mixed with the wisened piercing commentary of her older self. The way she points out little details and blends those perspectives is great. And she strikes an excellent balance between not being overly snarky nor gushing as she recounts her journey.

Overall, the mix of deep introspection, compelling narration, and stranger than fiction events made it a very engaging and impactful read that stuck with me.

[A · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars: how to party with depression
This is a memoir by a constantly partying young woman with crippling depression (and some mania) who seems to live by the motto ‘fake it til you make it’, until she can’t. We hear about her (often tumultuous) relationships, her drug- and alcohol-infused days at Burning Man, and in Mexico, Panama and then finally in California. Towards the end there is more focus on her many failed treatments for her depression.
The opening started well but the book went on way too long. I found it hard to empathize with the author, who frequently reminds the reader of how successful she is in her career despite rarely being sober. I did not get much of this book, but maybe people with depression and/or addictions would be able to relate better?
Triggers: depression and suicidal ideation, break-ups, cheating.
This is my honest review, and I am posting it voluntarily. Thanks to the author & publisher for providing me with an ARC of this book.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to Booksirens for the ARC

A very candid memoir about depression, I appreciate people who don't sugar coat things and don't try to make themselves look better with their own writing. Carly makes bad choices, really, over and over, but and that's a very important thing, she's also getting terrible help from doctors and therapists. The amount of bad advice she got from medical professionals is a little concerning (but honestly, been there done that, not that surprised, there's a reason the alternative scams are thriving). Her story has a happy ending, she stops taking drugs and finally finds meds that are working properly, that's the one thing I couldn't relate to (that and the alcohol and the drug use because I never did that), but that's a me thing. Always happy to know that some things might work for people even if I'm not one of those people. I also really enjoyed her voice and her writing, it was a lovely read despite the topic (depression can be a bit depressing)

[Abby Salois · Rating 5 out of 5]

Carly Schwartz has led a fascinating life. There’s no question about that. International living, a Panamanian reality show, a modern-day San Francisco commune, the Oval Office at Burning Man. I mean, who gets to live that way? But her personal and professional adventures aren’t what make her memoir, I’ll Try Anything Twice: Misadventures of a Self-Medicated Life, so brilliant and different. Carly’s story stands apart for its empathy and vulnerability. It reads like an unfiltered, in-person conversation that begins with “let me tell you what I’ve been up to for the last twenty years,” one where she doesn’t hide the ugly warts of living with addiction and mental illness. Though the subject matter isn’t light, Carly’s playful style and her ability to laugh at herself make for a page-turning, unputdownable read.

[Ally Weiss · Rating 5 out of 5]

I truly couldn’t put this book down. It carried me through a journey that felt intimately familiar, especially as someone who came of age during the “girl boss,” work-hard-party-hard era. The story captures how depression and addiction spare no one, no matter how polished or successful a life may appear on the surface.

It’s an unflinching, deeply honest portrayal of what it means to hold joy and sadness at the same time, to live a life that is both beautiful and heartbreaking. The tone and emotional texture reminded me of the TV series "Girls" in the best possible way.

I felt the full spectrum of emotions while reading, but above all, I felt a deep tenderness for Carly. Beneath it all, she is simply a little girl trying to find her way, and in that, she feels universal.

[Nina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. It’s a very honest view of what it’s like to live with depression and search for relief in every possible place, but it’s also a wildly entertaining and funny story about various West Coast subcultures and questionable adventures. I very much relate to the experience of being so open-minded that you risk your brain falling out. In the end, the author is very easy to root for. Her vulnerability and her self awareness turn a serious subject matter into a delightful, relatable journey. Definitely worth the read.

[Mollie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this memoir! Carly writes with such humor and warmth, even while describing her at times harrowing personal experiences. Full of keenly observed details and fascinating digressions into worlds both very familiar to me (digital media, 2010s San Francisco) and extremely far from my own (the jungles of Panama, Burning Man), it’s a compulsively readable and moving look at one woman’s journey to a happier life.

[Mia R · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s a tender, gripping read—suspenseful, well-paced, and insightful.

What lingered for me is her unsparing portrayal of depression: how it distorts perception, and makes it hard for a person who moves between mood states to relate to their other self. As a therapist, I especially appreciate how powerfully Schwartz helps the reader understand what depression feels like to those who don’t have it.

[Books Forward · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I'll Try Anything Twice" was a beautiful memoir that was equally hilarious as it was interesting. Schwartz writes beautifully about her struggles with her mental health and drug addiction and I couldn't put the book down. This book is perfect for fans of introspective memoirs who enjoy great storytelling.

[Gillian Morris · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn’t put this memoir down. As someone who has people close to me who have struggled with addiction, this book gave me a new perspective on their experience and the ways community can help navigate those struggles. Plus Carly’s life is filled with fascinating characters and stranger-than-fiction adventures that made this hard to put down.

[Rhonda Lomazow · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author seems to have it all great job social life loads of friends.She openly admits that in private she is suffering from addiction and depression.She shares her travels her adventures her trying communal living.This was such a raw intimate look at the authors private and struggles.I really enjoyed going along with her on her search for healing. THANKS #booksirens for my advance copy.

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn’t put this down. Carly’s honesty about her struggles with addiction and depression was incredibly inspiring.