Keeping Kids Christian: Recovering a Biblical Vision for Lifelong Discipleship

by Cameron S. Shaffer, Jake Meador (Foreword)

As both a pastor and a parent, Cameron S. Shaffer is alarmed by the mass exodus of young people from the church over the past couple decades. The rise of the Nones and exvangelicals is clear evidence that our current children's and youth ministry practices are ineffective and must change if we want to stem the tide of dechurching. Whatever we're doing now is not creating lifelong disciples.

Combining biblical and theological insights with the latest sociological research, Shaffer presents a comprehensive and compelling case not for retooling the system of child discipleship we already have in place but for reevaluating and reshaping it entirely. He explains just how conversion works, the importance of parental involvement, and the necessity of keeping kids and youth in church and involved with the whole community of faith rather than continually sending them away to do youth-centered activities. He also covers the big question of how to keep young people committed to their faith when they grow up, go to college, enter the workforce, and start families of their own.

In this thoughtful book, pastors, children's and youth ministers, church leaders, and Christian parents alike will find a clear path forward to keep kids Christian and keep them involved in the church.

Genres: Christian, Parenting, Nonfiction

192 pages, Paperback

Published February 24, 2026

Reviews

[Elisabeth White · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. I’d definitely recommend it to all parents and pastors alike. It challenges so much of evangelical thought and tendencies related to our beliefs and practices regarding kids in church.

Though I think Shaffer is right about practically everything here, his application requires such a massive paradigm shift for most Christians that I fear it would be hard to implement in many churches. But if more pastors were to catch his vision, I think it would be a net positive for the church as a whole—especially for the kids who grow up in church.

Still, even if your individual church isn’t functioning the way he outlines in this book, there are definitely ways individual parents and families can embody these principles, so don’t be discouraged—do what you can!

[Reagan Styrt · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars rounded down. I loved a lot of the pastor’s main points, but I wish there were more practical application examples. For instance, he recommends that churches focus more on equipping parents to teach their own children about the faith than on church programming. What does that look like? Is there is curriculum provided to parents with main points to cover, or does he just hope that each parent understands the gospel enough to bring it up often in the home?

The funeral section was particularly striking to me. The author points out that most children do not know adults other than their relatives well enough to attend their funeral. This underscores the importance of intergenerational relationships and the need for kids to know and be known by other believing adults.

[Scott Loughlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed reading through this vision to restore multigenerational relationships within Christianity. When kids become part of the church earlier in life, they’ll be more confident in their faith as they transition beyond high school and into the work force. Would’ve appreciated more specificity with certain aspects, but found the broad view valuable.

[Cassie (eclectically.bookish.cassie) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has given me so much to think about. As an ordained minister of over a decade, I’ve long suspected that children’s and youth programming in our churches is not doing the job we hope it would. Shaffer takes a look at sociological research and his ministry experience and shows that if we want kids to remain engaged believers after high school, it isn’t a flashy youth group or the best VBS that will do it. The number one factor is warm but authoritative parental involvement and parents who practice what they preach. This, however, is not a parenting book. It’s intended as a ministry tool for pastors like me, although I think other audiences could benefit from it as well. While I was given a lot to think over and chew on, I do have a few caveats:

1. My mind kept wandering to the question of what to do when kids at your church come without parents? Or show up at youth group with a friend only? There are some ideas and solutions provided but this isn’t explored in depth.

2. This became very repetitive at times, so much so that more than once I wondered if this could have been summarized as an article. When I saw in the acknowledgements that this started as an article, I was not surprised even a little.

3. Shaffer says from the very start that his background is Reformed Presbyterian, but that he believes the principles could apply elsewhere. While, I think that’s true, sometimes the jargon and tradition of being Reformed comes through VERY strongly. Nothing wrong with that, but a little isolating coming from a different Christian tradition.

Overall, this was still worth my time and I think is a great starting place on the topic.

Thank you NetGalley and Baker Books for the digital review copy and the opportunity to be an early reader.

[Erik Bonkovsky · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really solid book—clearly conceived and well written. The thing I like least about it is the title, which was probably an editor’s decision. It’s a useful book for parents, pastors, and anyone involved with the spiritual formation of kids (which, Cam would say, is all of us).

If you’re looking for a spoiler here’s how you disciple kids: trust in God’s grace, parent by being loving, steady, and engaged, and rely on the whole, intergenerational church community.

[Christi Williams · Rating 4 out of 5]

There were some big disagreements on some of the theology, but a lot of the sociological research and practical examples rang very true to what I’ve seen bear fruit in my own kids. They didn’t get the youth group experience but they got something even better - intergenerational formation and a lot of adult mentors. It raised good questions and stimulated several significant discussions with my grown up daughter about what most shaped her faith growing up.

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely a book written for Pastors/elders/ministry leaders with a Covenant theology foundation. As a children's ministry director, I found it helpful and insightful.

[Logan S · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fantastic book. I almost took one star off due to my theological disagreements (I’m a Baptist) but felt that was unfair to do because the author is coming from his perspective. For me, this pairs well with one of my other favorite books, The Compelling Community, in defining my philosophy of ministry. Even though I strongly disagree with his argument in chapter one about how we should treat our kids like Christians from the beginning and that they are a part of the covenant community from birth, which is contrary to the the nature of the New Covenant and we must be born again by the Spirit to see and be in the Kingdom, I can filter that out and keep the rest of the book, which is outstanding. I will be using this more widely with parents and other leaders in children’s ministry.

[Eliot Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book for parents

[Isaac · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book on the basics of fostering faith in children and youth. The book is probably best for pastors and next-gen workers in churches, but parents will derive a great deal of wisdom from it. The simple truth is that parents are best positioned to pass the faith on to their kids, and church programs that support them in this role are valuable. Those that try to do it for the parents or have other goals will have uneven results at best. Shaffer advocates faithful modeling of the Christian faith in homes and participation in the life of the local church. It's simple but beautiful.

[Charles Sager · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.50. Excellent read. I’d say a much for Christian parents. Some good thoughts expressed here. I plan to reread this and pray about it.

[Natalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gave me a lot to think about even though I am not typically a reader of nonfiction. While I didn’t necessarily agree with all the points the author made, the book still made me think from a different perspective. I always thought of Sunday school as a good thing, and this author feels that kids should remain in the service. I liked his emphasis on keeping kids engaged and keeping them involved after confirmation (which he explains most people view as “graduation” from church activities which is why there’s a decline in attendance at that point). There were definitely some ideas I want to implement and I highlighted many passages. Definitely a book about an important topic.

[Melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I went into this book thinking it was more for parents, but I have to save overall it seems more geared toward pastors and church leaders. Not to say I didn't get anything from this book.

The whole of the book can be summed up very simply in this one quote:
"Passing on the Christian faith from parent to child rests on two key elements. First, parents must possess sincere faith-- one that is not compartmentalized but woven into daily life. Second, they must embrace an authoritative parenting style that combines warmth with firm boundaries..."

This book, which started as an article, is quite repetitive. It gives the message that the parents have a huge responsibility in modeling genuine faith; and the church has a responsibility to support the parents and kids in all stages of life. It refers often to "the great dechurching" which is a phrase that I had not heard before. The author also used other phrases like "not vibe but belief" and "faith is the warp and soft of their lives" that I didn't particularly enjoy or understand. Much of the 'evidence' in this book was based on "my observation" with a healthy amount of quoting other authors.

I still see some value in this book, it ultimately will cause you to evaluate your own Christian walk. In the conclusion, that author said,

"While salvation is ultimately the work of God, the means through which faith is nurtured- family, corporate worship, community and discipleship-- are given by God as essential instruments in sustaining belief from childhood into adulthood."

All I can say to that is Amen.





Thanks to NetGalley for an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Mitchell Traver · Rating 4 out of 5]

A solid read. Doesn’t overdo the sociological insights, which gives the book more of a conversational and pastoral feel than a technical one. If I’m honest, I think much that is in here was unsurprising - there is very little that feels like “reinventing the wheel.” At the same time, the book was written because there are ways in which the Church, and parents especially, misunderstand what discipleship of kids looks like from the ground up. This book was written in such a way that all Christians will profit from it, though there is a subtle apologetic for the Covenantal (read infant baptism) perspective which I found warm and persuasive. If there were to be an overarching takeaway, it would be this: pastors and churches ought to focus on equipping parents to disciple their kids and lead their families in such a way that the Faith is modeled day in and day out in everyday life. Relationships are the heartbeat of discipleship, and if we want our kids to keep the Faith, it’s the parents who need to be actively poured into and encouraged.

One cannot overstate the influence of godly parents who raise and delight in their children with warmth, joy, and a clear sense of what it means to follow Jesus.

[A · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an excellent book that I recommend for any church staff member who cares about kids retaining their faith as they grow older. While I differ theologically in many areas from the author, he's consistently quick to point out how his points are applicable and can be implemented regardless of your denomination or even church size. Even when he disagrees with currently-popular methods of kids ministry, he does so with the intention of helping churches keep the main goal of seeing kids grow to love Christ at the center of this area of ministry and allows for how those current methods can still supplement that goal. As a father who cares deeply about the faith of my children, I genuinely appreciate his emphasis on the impact parents have in this area, while also pointing to the grace of God for when we don't raise our kids perfectly.

I truly hope many church leaders find this book as a resource to help them point the kids in their local churches toward Christ, and to keep that faith as they reach adulthood and eventually raise their own kids to do the same.

[Benjamin Davenport · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book's content is both agreeable (from a confessional Reformed standpoint) and helpful. However, the book would have been very well-served by some significant editing in the interest of more concision and less repetition. I believe it would be far more useful to its audience (both pastors and particularly the "youth and children's ministry leaders" to whom it is advertised) if it were more abbreviated and written in a more conversational, less "research paper" tone.

[Peyton McGuire · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were a lot of good things in here, but I also had so many issues with this. There were completely subjective/distorted theological claims that I just inherently disagreed with. There were ideas that could’ve been good, but were worded poorly. I loved the ideas & emphasis on intergenerational connectivity in the Church, but I think overall this could have been better & more positively influential with even just a tone shift

[Cathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like this book. I agree with most of the author's ideas and conclusions. The only reason I didn't give it five stars is because I agree with it so much that it didn't bring me new ideas. He articulated his thoughts very well.

[Jay King · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very Presbyterian. Numerous arguments were rooted in aspects of covenant theology that I and any Baptist will fundamentally disagree with. There were some strong chapters, such as the chapter on intergenerational involvement with youth and children.

[Logan Bennett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some really helpful stuff in here. This is written by a Presbyterian pastor so as a Baptist there was a lot I disagreed with, but I also respect when someone writes out of their personal convictions.

All in all it was clear, convictional, and helpful.

[Gareth Crawford · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastically encouraging and helpful.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a wonderful tool for parents and congregants as it helps us consider how to disciple our covenant children through the relationships God has established in the local church.

[Evan Cruse · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5

Highly recommend this book.

[Micah Wilson · Rating 3 out of 5]

5 stars for content.
1 star for presentation. Very repetitive and a lot of fluff. Also lacked direct Scripture references.

[Regan Conn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very easy read and very insightful for parents and church leaders!

[Ginni · Rating 5 out of 5]

What if the way to fight the “great dechurching” is not to endlessly tweak and pour money into youth programs, but to rethink the concept of youth ministry altogether?

It’s not just that the gimmicky, try-hard youth group model of the 90s and 2000s proved to be a failure; it’s that the church is barely a blip on the radar when it comes to faith influence in a child’s life. Parents overwhelmingly hold the actual sway. Shaffer’s challenge to church leaders is twofold: get upstream of the problem by equipping parents to disciple their children well, and include children in the main body of the church.

Keeping Kids Christian models the proven tone of high expectations + relational warmth it encourages parents and pastors to take. Shaffer draws on his own pastoral experience, but also covers ways the principles can be applied to churches of different denominations and sizes. Also, though books that begin as blog posts tend to feel pointlessly wordy and thin on content, I’m happy to report that this one--which began as an article on the Mere Orthodoxy website--is lean and straightforward, packed with insight and no longer than it needs to be.

Perhaps most impactful is the grace shown to parents who feel they’ve already blown it, or parents who did everything right and still watched their kids walk away from the faith. The message to them is: God has the final say. The mysterious intersection of divine sovereignty and free will means that we can only take so much blame (or credit) for how our kids turn out.

Church leaders are this book’s primary audience, but Christian parents should read it as well--honestly, just Christians in general. The call to action is not implementing certain church policies; it’s radically rethinking the way we view children in the church. That’s going to take all of us.