I first encountered Joseph Mills on YouTube, reading at Poetry Hickory. I was so impressed that I ordered Exit, Pursued by a Bear . I loved that book enough to give it five stars (2016), so I don’t know why I let this volume sit on my Wish List for so long. I urge other poetry fans to grab it now.
Mills writes the type of poetry I love most: almost conversational, but using a poet’s skill
for what to say and leave out. It’s writing that sticks with you because it is, in turns, touching, humorous, or heart-wrenching – often all those things at once, as happens when a parent speaks of his hopes and worries about a child. The theme of turning or changing echoes the title throughout. Most of the change is about time: how quickly children grow up and how slowly civilization evolves. Mills is a White academic, married to a European, I’m guessing French since they call her “Maman.” He adopts two Black children and lives in North Carolina, where the comments and his fears about racism are multiplied. The children are young and don’t yet understand how frightening this is, but it keeps Mills awake at night. Touring Civil War sites as a white New Englander with a European wife and two Southern Black kids adds many layers of depth to those poems.
Here are a few moments that especially grabbed me. In “Swimming Lessons,” Mills says he and his wife are swimmers from swimming families, but can’t get their adoptive daughter to put her head underwater for them. They enroll her in a class with a stranger (is her name really Mrs. White?), who soon has her swimming laps.
“I watch and wonder what I could have learned
from my parents had they not been my parents.”
“The Color Wheel” deals with a realization of life’s unfairness that must come to all Black children in our country.
“My daughter says, ‘Daddy, Brandon called me black,
and when I said I was milk chocolate, he said, ‘No,
you’re black….
To say she’s black when she’s actually cocoa brown
makes no sense. It’s oddly crude like something
a baby would do. And my skin looks nothing like
the paper in our printer or the kitchen appliances….”
“The Next Door Neighbor” begins with a nasty start, when Mills and his wife, before children, discover, as they move in, that their next door neighbor is a racist. Then we have one of those turnings that proves what many of us believe, that racism is based on ignorance and lack of experience with those we claim to hate.
“And one day we realize our daughter
is gone. She’s not in the house or yard
and we find her on the neighbor’s porch,
chatting away. She’s good company ,
the woman says, and, from then on,
each time our child goes outside,
the woman yells from her chair,
Here comes Miss America! "