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A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation: Creating Safe Environments for Conversations About Race, Politics, Sexuality, and Religion
Are you tired of all the animosity and vitriol that fill our society at every mention of politics or religion dividing us into two hostile camps on every possible side? So are we! We’re looking for others who want to change the dialogue from the rhetoric of polarizing animosity that is destroying the social fabric of our nation to a language of healing, where honest differences don’t have to destroy friendships. Then we can seek a broader common ground through mutual respect and compassion.
A Language of Healing will help you learn how to...
See disagreement as an opportunity for growth and discovery Change the temper of a hostile engagement or walk away Share mutual respect even beyond our deepest differences Become a peacemaker in your network of friends and family The book is divided into three main
An Opportune Moment. Why is this a particularly propitious moment to elevate the conversation, at least for the vast majority of Americans who are tired of those who manipulate them through fear and anger? Five Practices of a Peacemaker. What kind of conversation can lower the heat and increase the level of communication, especially where we hold significantly different views? Operating in Shared Space. Our deeply held views do not have to be subjugated to cooperate with others; we only have to endeavor to make as much space for their views as we want for ours. The end of each chapter includes three practical suggestions listeners can use to practice the language of healing in their own day-to-day interactions.
A Language of Healing will help you learn how to...
See disagreement as an opportunity for growth and discovery Change the temper of a hostile engagement or walk away Share mutual respect even beyond our deepest differences Become a peacemaker in your network of friends and family The book is divided into three main
An Opportune Moment. Why is this a particularly propitious moment to elevate the conversation, at least for the vast majority of Americans who are tired of those who manipulate them through fear and anger? Five Practices of a Peacemaker. What kind of conversation can lower the heat and increase the level of communication, especially where we hold significantly different views? Operating in Shared Space. Our deeply held views do not have to be subjugated to cooperate with others; we only have to endeavor to make as much space for their views as we want for ours. The end of each chapter includes three practical suggestions listeners can use to practice the language of healing in their own day-to-day interactions.
- GenresNonfictionSocial Justice
Audible Audio
Published February 10, 2020
57 people are currently reading
166 people want to read
About the author
Wayne Jacobsen
33 books103 followersWayne Jacobsen was a pastor for 20 years and a Contributing Editor to Leadership Journal and has authored numerous books and articles on spiritual formation, relational community and engagement of culture. Wayne also cohosts a weekly podcast at TheGodJourney.com, out of which came his collaboration on the writing of The Shack and helped create Windblown Media, the publishing company behind the phenomenon.
As the director of Lifestream Ministries, Jacobsen travels globally teaching on themes of intimacy with God, the Love of God, and relational church life.
As President of BridgeBuilders, he is also a nationally-recognized specialist and mediator in resolving cultural and religious conflicts. Jacobsen has become known for his expertise in the pros and cons of organized religion.
As the director of Lifestream Ministries, Jacobsen travels globally teaching on themes of intimacy with God, the Love of God, and relational church life.
As President of BridgeBuilders, he is also a nationally-recognized specialist and mediator in resolving cultural and religious conflicts. Jacobsen has become known for his expertise in the pros and cons of organized religion.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews
October 29, 2019
Reading this book was like eavesdropping on an important conversation I needed to hear. It taught me a more nuanced way of speaking with people who don't look like me, vote like me, love like me, or worship like me. Evolving as a culture will require the generosity of many ordinary citizens who desire to learn this new language and are willing to risk being in close proximity to those different from themselves. This book gave me the courage to lean in and begin learning A Language of Healing.
October 14, 2019
Do not miss this opportunity to "eavesdrop" on the important conversation that Wayne, Arnita, and Bob have in this exceptional book. We're all looking for a way to bring civility back to our personal as well as community conversations. A Language of Healing is a brilliant place to start!
Encourage your family, friends, neighbors, co-workers ... and especially your social media contacts ... to get this book. Find a few open-hearted friends and read it together. Process the content and the suggestions at the end of each chapter...and watch your vision and perspective sharpen as you learn how to be better as seeing life out of each other's eyes.
I hope this book sells like hotcakes and turns our personal and national conversations around. This is a hope-filled and generous conversation worth having... everywhere.
Encourage your family, friends, neighbors, co-workers ... and especially your social media contacts ... to get this book. Find a few open-hearted friends and read it together. Process the content and the suggestions at the end of each chapter...and watch your vision and perspective sharpen as you learn how to be better as seeing life out of each other's eyes.
I hope this book sells like hotcakes and turns our personal and national conversations around. This is a hope-filled and generous conversation worth having... everywhere.
Want to read
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October 14, 2019
Arnita, Wayne and Bob engage their readers in a enlightening, respectful, and constructive conversation about how to move away from polarized rhetoric to healing dialogue. Highly recommended for anyone who wants to find ways to contribute to deescalating political, racial, and religious tensions.
October 16, 2019
This book is for those who want to find ways to communicate and cooperate beyond our most deeply rooted differences, realizing that in the shared spaces of our society we have more to gain through mutual understanding than the politics of polarization.
October 15, 2019
A brilliantly written book presenting real and rational solutions to today's hostile narrative. Seriously, everyone should read this book!
November 1, 2019
In light of the constant un-civility in our common life today, this book provides food for thought. Our society is polarized, full of animosity, and every side believes they are right & others wrong. People are hateful, media is hateful, and this is affecting each & every one of us, in our homes, neighborhoods, workplaces, faith communities, and within our hearts & souls.
In this book, three very different people get together to dialogue about the problem of that un-civility and animosity, what may be root causes of the problem and the issues caused by this behavior and mindset. There are graphics to enhance that it is a dialogue- small circles with black & white drawings of each participant-- and summing up of each section with Try It Activities, at different levels of risk, called Crawl, Walk, & Run.
The three sections are 1) An Opportune Moment, 2) Five Practices of a Peacemaker, and 3) Operating in a Shared Space. Knowing the sections gives some sense of the subject matter of the book. And the three people have good, solid credentials, but in very different fields, and are quite different as to race, class, & gender, in addition to general life experience.
This is a great book for beginning to grapple with the issues we face today. It provides a framework for thinking through the issues, and some suggestions as to personal work the reader can do for themself, within their heart & spirit. It also provides suggestions for people to start dialoguing themselves, using the conversations by the authors as a model. It provides much food for thought, and will be a book to read and re-read over time, as more will be absorbed each time.
Again, it is a beginning, it does not pretend to have all the answers. It has many questions that bear pondering individually and within groups. It is about Listening, and as that is frequently an undeveloped or underdeveloped skill, doing the suggested exercises, at whatever level of risk, perhaps going through all levels over time, will be invaluable as a practice.
My hope is that many, MANY people will read this book, take its message to heart, ponder the principles outlined & practice the suggested exercises. And that people will grow beyond this to expand further into peace-making. We so desperately need this today, in this day & age.
BLESSED ARE THE PEACEMAKERS, FOR THEY WILL BE CALLED THE CHILDREN OF GOD.
In this book, three very different people get together to dialogue about the problem of that un-civility and animosity, what may be root causes of the problem and the issues caused by this behavior and mindset. There are graphics to enhance that it is a dialogue- small circles with black & white drawings of each participant-- and summing up of each section with Try It Activities, at different levels of risk, called Crawl, Walk, & Run.
The three sections are 1) An Opportune Moment, 2) Five Practices of a Peacemaker, and 3) Operating in a Shared Space. Knowing the sections gives some sense of the subject matter of the book. And the three people have good, solid credentials, but in very different fields, and are quite different as to race, class, & gender, in addition to general life experience.
This is a great book for beginning to grapple with the issues we face today. It provides a framework for thinking through the issues, and some suggestions as to personal work the reader can do for themself, within their heart & spirit. It also provides suggestions for people to start dialoguing themselves, using the conversations by the authors as a model. It provides much food for thought, and will be a book to read and re-read over time, as more will be absorbed each time.
Again, it is a beginning, it does not pretend to have all the answers. It has many questions that bear pondering individually and within groups. It is about Listening, and as that is frequently an undeveloped or underdeveloped skill, doing the suggested exercises, at whatever level of risk, perhaps going through all levels over time, will be invaluable as a practice.
My hope is that many, MANY people will read this book, take its message to heart, ponder the principles outlined & practice the suggested exercises. And that people will grow beyond this to expand further into peace-making. We so desperately need this today, in this day & age.
BLESSED ARE THE PEACEMAKERS, FOR THEY WILL BE CALLED THE CHILDREN OF GOD.
November 5, 2019
This is an opportune moment for a much needed book not just for the USA (to which it is aimed by its American authors) but to all countries where we are seeing far more polarization of opinions and the rhetoric that accompanies their expression . The art of disagreeing in a respectful way seems to be lost, particularly on social media. As the Introduction says "Our differences cannot be an excuse to vent our anger and animosity. We can hold to differing views and argue for them passionately without resorting to contempt, suspicion and accusations." This book explores how to become a Peacemaker and how to find a Shared Space for the views of others without having to subjugate our own views. It is full of practical ideas on how to change our language and bring healing of relationships, one step at a time. The Introduction ends with this powerful statement" Polarity damages people. .. It's time for a new approach that celebrates our common humanity". It is time to read this book.
November 5, 2019
How can I start? This book is something America, the church and just everyone in general should read. It's so hard in the world of racism, religion and differences that range so radically from each other. It's hard to know how to communicate sometimes, because we walk on egg shells hoping we aren't going to offend someone, or hurt someone and damage them in a way we didn't intend. This book gives me hope for being able to communicate with people and love them in a way that is real, solid and full of hope. I am excited to share about this book on my blog and have friends and family read it too!
October 31, 2019
I just finished reading a sneak preview of this book. You know the term,'easy listening'? This book is 'easy reading' in the sense that it is written as a conversation between three people. However, clearly, the content challenges us all to move beyond our own 'tribes' and to grow in compassion and understanding 'for the common good.' I have some work to do! Definitely worth your time and consideration.
October 27, 2019
Arnita, Bob, and Wayne lead us on a sometimes tough journey using conversations. A Language of Healing has opened my eyes and forced me to hold a mirror to my face. The easy, informative style of the book is like sitting down with old friends who love me enough to tell me the truth. I look forward to putting what I’ve learned into action. A Language of Healing is a life changing book.
November 5, 2019
A very needed perspective in our world today!
I love how the conversation moves from one person and viewpoint on to the next. Three seemingly very different people come together to offer symbiotic thoughts to the obvious division all around us.
Highly recommended!
I love how the conversation moves from one person and viewpoint on to the next. Three seemingly very different people come together to offer symbiotic thoughts to the obvious division all around us.
Highly recommended!
November 5, 2019
There is no question when you look at the news, the internet, social media, or any kind of medium today where there is interaction among people or expressions of opinion that our society is polarized. News is often portrayed by the extremes. Gone are the days of unbiased or objective reporting. Instead, news is spun to convey the predominant views or ideologies of whichever news source is reporting.
How does one communicate in such a society? How does one navigate conversations in a healthy and intentional way when there seems to be such polarization? Is it possible to navigate differences in a charitable and hospitable way? Do differences between us need to result in hatred, ostracization, and sequestering us into tribes?
“Our differences cannot be an excuse to vent our anger and animosity.” That is what the authors of “A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation” write in the introduction to their book. Contempt, suspicion, and accusations do not need to win the day when we come face to face with each other and our differences. Religion, race, sexuality, and politics are among the most divisive topics in our nation, but do they need to be? The authors say no.
Wayne Jacobsen, Arnita Taylor, and Bob Prater, three people with unique perspectives from one another, have come together to write a book about how to navigate these dangerous waters. The way that they have done it serves as an example to others of how to move forward. These three authors have come together in a conversation around a table, and talk with civility and grace rather than anger and hatred. As Jacobsen has written in the book, “Our most difficult issues can only be navigated when we show genuine respect for points of view different than our own.”
So the authors set out to teach the reader a new language, a language of healing, a language that will not divide but instead will draw us together. They explore the idea of a solution that comes from building consensus, a solution where everyone feels that they have contributed. Throughout the book, the authors even share that they did not always agree during the writing of the book. But the disagreements between them did not result in animosity and anger. They were still able to converse without coming to full agreement and still love each other at the end of the day. I’d like to think that’s what most of us desire, to see people as human and lovely rather than simply seeing them as their viewpoints and pet issues.
As Jacobsen writes, one problem we face today is that issues can’t be solved because we’ve, “turned the conflict itself into profit.” There is not necessarily a financial gain when we agree, Divisiveness makes the better story. It seems we’ve grown tired of the stories about coming together despite differences, the selling point seems to be what divides us. When only two mutually exclusive options are offered, debate is stifled as are conversations. We can’t move through when our options seem so limited.
There are nuggets throughout this book, offered from the unique perspectives of the authors. This stuff doesn’t feel like rocket science, but it’s amazing how hard simple concepts like what they authors lay out can be for people. I don’t say that to demean in any way what the authors have shared, but instead to scold the rest of us who seem to have allowed concepts which should come naturally to us elude us instead. Some of this just seems to be common decency, which begs the question of what happened to it to begin with? Where did we lose our way?
It comes down to growth. Do we want to grow in such a way that we are better tomorrow than we are today? For that growth to happen, we need honesty, with others, but more so with ourselves. But growth requires freedom and honesty together, and as the book says, “If we can’t be honest, we can’t grow, and if we don’t give people the freedom to grow, they’ll give up trying to see the issue fairly.”
This book isn’t written from an ivory tower, a few experts come together to proselytize others, instead, it’s written from a place of humility and experience. As the authors say in wrapping up the book, “We are not academic experts or social scientists conducting elaborate studies. We merely desire to encourage others to embrace a broader and more generous way of looking at those who differ around them.”
The language of healing may seem easy on paper, but it’s much harder in practice. But learning a language is rewarding and mutually beneficial, not only for the one who is learning the language, but also for the one who can now be understood in a way that they weren’t before.
“A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation” is a book worth reading. The theories and expertise that are offered here have been formed in the doing, in exercising the practices that have been laid out. If you have grown tired of the stalemate in which you have found yourself with those whom you don’t always agree, the language of healing shared here by the authors may be helpful for a meaningful way forward.
(This review is based upon a copy of this book which was provided free of charge. These opinions are my own; I was not required to write a positive review, nor was I compensated for this review.)
How does one communicate in such a society? How does one navigate conversations in a healthy and intentional way when there seems to be such polarization? Is it possible to navigate differences in a charitable and hospitable way? Do differences between us need to result in hatred, ostracization, and sequestering us into tribes?
“Our differences cannot be an excuse to vent our anger and animosity.” That is what the authors of “A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation” write in the introduction to their book. Contempt, suspicion, and accusations do not need to win the day when we come face to face with each other and our differences. Religion, race, sexuality, and politics are among the most divisive topics in our nation, but do they need to be? The authors say no.
Wayne Jacobsen, Arnita Taylor, and Bob Prater, three people with unique perspectives from one another, have come together to write a book about how to navigate these dangerous waters. The way that they have done it serves as an example to others of how to move forward. These three authors have come together in a conversation around a table, and talk with civility and grace rather than anger and hatred. As Jacobsen has written in the book, “Our most difficult issues can only be navigated when we show genuine respect for points of view different than our own.”
So the authors set out to teach the reader a new language, a language of healing, a language that will not divide but instead will draw us together. They explore the idea of a solution that comes from building consensus, a solution where everyone feels that they have contributed. Throughout the book, the authors even share that they did not always agree during the writing of the book. But the disagreements between them did not result in animosity and anger. They were still able to converse without coming to full agreement and still love each other at the end of the day. I’d like to think that’s what most of us desire, to see people as human and lovely rather than simply seeing them as their viewpoints and pet issues.
As Jacobsen writes, one problem we face today is that issues can’t be solved because we’ve, “turned the conflict itself into profit.” There is not necessarily a financial gain when we agree, Divisiveness makes the better story. It seems we’ve grown tired of the stories about coming together despite differences, the selling point seems to be what divides us. When only two mutually exclusive options are offered, debate is stifled as are conversations. We can’t move through when our options seem so limited.
There are nuggets throughout this book, offered from the unique perspectives of the authors. This stuff doesn’t feel like rocket science, but it’s amazing how hard simple concepts like what they authors lay out can be for people. I don’t say that to demean in any way what the authors have shared, but instead to scold the rest of us who seem to have allowed concepts which should come naturally to us elude us instead. Some of this just seems to be common decency, which begs the question of what happened to it to begin with? Where did we lose our way?
It comes down to growth. Do we want to grow in such a way that we are better tomorrow than we are today? For that growth to happen, we need honesty, with others, but more so with ourselves. But growth requires freedom and honesty together, and as the book says, “If we can’t be honest, we can’t grow, and if we don’t give people the freedom to grow, they’ll give up trying to see the issue fairly.”
This book isn’t written from an ivory tower, a few experts come together to proselytize others, instead, it’s written from a place of humility and experience. As the authors say in wrapping up the book, “We are not academic experts or social scientists conducting elaborate studies. We merely desire to encourage others to embrace a broader and more generous way of looking at those who differ around them.”
The language of healing may seem easy on paper, but it’s much harder in practice. But learning a language is rewarding and mutually beneficial, not only for the one who is learning the language, but also for the one who can now be understood in a way that they weren’t before.
“A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation” is a book worth reading. The theories and expertise that are offered here have been formed in the doing, in exercising the practices that have been laid out. If you have grown tired of the stalemate in which you have found yourself with those whom you don’t always agree, the language of healing shared here by the authors may be helpful for a meaningful way forward.
(This review is based upon a copy of this book which was provided free of charge. These opinions are my own; I was not required to write a positive review, nor was I compensated for this review.)
November 8, 2019
As an American living overseas in Japan, I've seen the way the current political climate in my home country has infected social media (as well as the Japanese and global church). I've been shocked at the anger that cross-pollinates between church and politics and between brothers and sisters in Christ. Folks also deny that racism even exists or that there are gender barriers. Those in the majority want to keep it that way, to the detriment of minority groups and individuals.
Because I've been listening to Wayne Jacobsen's podcast, The God Journey, since 2006, as soon as I heard about this book I was immediately interested. I've admired his humility and diplomacy over the years as he seeks to bridge gaps across dividing lines and to create a space for those who don't think like the herd. Wayne co-authoring with two others about a new language of healing balm and ointment in a scratchy, pointy world? Yes please!
And the book has lived up to my expectations: it is full of hope and practical ideas.
One of the co-authors, Arnita Willis Taylor, writes in the book: "We need to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. That's the reality. Change is never comfortable. Speaking the language of healing will not be easy. It requires intentional thoughts and actions."
Each chapter ending has three possible steps you can take that are deliberate and thought provoking. One that I plan on doing is connecting with a friend who has a different religion than mine and maybe having coffee or lunch. I'd like to get to know her better.
And that's the point of the book. What would the world be like if we connected on a deeper level with folks who aren't like us, listened more and talked less, and respected those with different viewpoints? It doesn't mean we have to agree on everything, but we do need to acknowledge their humanity and that they have had different experiences that have probably shaped them in different ways than me.
*Disclaimer: I was given an advanced copy of the book in exchange for my own honest opinion.*
Because I've been listening to Wayne Jacobsen's podcast, The God Journey, since 2006, as soon as I heard about this book I was immediately interested. I've admired his humility and diplomacy over the years as he seeks to bridge gaps across dividing lines and to create a space for those who don't think like the herd. Wayne co-authoring with two others about a new language of healing balm and ointment in a scratchy, pointy world? Yes please!
And the book has lived up to my expectations: it is full of hope and practical ideas.
One of the co-authors, Arnita Willis Taylor, writes in the book: "We need to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. That's the reality. Change is never comfortable. Speaking the language of healing will not be easy. It requires intentional thoughts and actions."
Each chapter ending has three possible steps you can take that are deliberate and thought provoking. One that I plan on doing is connecting with a friend who has a different religion than mine and maybe having coffee or lunch. I'd like to get to know her better.
And that's the point of the book. What would the world be like if we connected on a deeper level with folks who aren't like us, listened more and talked less, and respected those with different viewpoints? It doesn't mean we have to agree on everything, but we do need to acknowledge their humanity and that they have had different experiences that have probably shaped them in different ways than me.
*Disclaimer: I was given an advanced copy of the book in exchange for my own honest opinion.*
November 19, 2019
I received an ARC from the publisher. The opinions expressed in this review are my own.
“Where loyalty to the tribe is the overriding value, truth and honesty get lost; it keeps us from growing and discovering better solutions to our problems.”
A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation is the product of a collaboration among Wayne Jacobsen, Arnita Willis Taylor, and Robert L. Prater. The subtitle is “Creating safe environments for conversations about race, politics, sexuality, and religion.” This is a tall order in our divided society, but this book demonstrates ways for us to emerge from the darkness of constant conflict.
I appreciated the format of the book, which is presented as a conversation among its three authors. It reads easily, and lends clarity to the interactions between the speakers. This is not a step-by-step guide as much as it is solid role modeling of the attitudes and behaviors that generate an atmosphere in which people can work together to find common ground for peacemaking.
There are no shortcuts to the creation of a consensus such at that envisioned by A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation. For that reason, I recommend this book for people who have the emotional maturity to practice skills like empathic listening, respect for those who differ from us, and wrestling with large chunks of truth about ourselves.
One of my favorite quotes from the book comes from Arnita Willis Taylor:
“I choose to identify as human as my most salient identifier. After that, I’m a Christian. Our identifiers are personal and subjective, but they deeply color our experience. Healing is possible when we learn to connect with others based on what we hold in common while respecting each other in our differences.”
This book is well worth reading. Do it.
“Where loyalty to the tribe is the overriding value, truth and honesty get lost; it keeps us from growing and discovering better solutions to our problems.”
A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation is the product of a collaboration among Wayne Jacobsen, Arnita Willis Taylor, and Robert L. Prater. The subtitle is “Creating safe environments for conversations about race, politics, sexuality, and religion.” This is a tall order in our divided society, but this book demonstrates ways for us to emerge from the darkness of constant conflict.
I appreciated the format of the book, which is presented as a conversation among its three authors. It reads easily, and lends clarity to the interactions between the speakers. This is not a step-by-step guide as much as it is solid role modeling of the attitudes and behaviors that generate an atmosphere in which people can work together to find common ground for peacemaking.
There are no shortcuts to the creation of a consensus such at that envisioned by A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation. For that reason, I recommend this book for people who have the emotional maturity to practice skills like empathic listening, respect for those who differ from us, and wrestling with large chunks of truth about ourselves.
One of my favorite quotes from the book comes from Arnita Willis Taylor:
“I choose to identify as human as my most salient identifier. After that, I’m a Christian. Our identifiers are personal and subjective, but they deeply color our experience. Healing is possible when we learn to connect with others based on what we hold in common while respecting each other in our differences.”
This book is well worth reading. Do it.
November 9, 2019
This is an important book that could well become a catalyst for a healing in our national dialogue.
Its impact will necessarily be partial in that regard. Social media has intensified and shone a spotlight our unfortunate trend toward demonizing each other verbally. But that trend is at least as old as I am. I can't remember a time when politicians and activists on both sides didn't accuse the other side of the worst possible motives while ascribing purity to themselves. If social media has done anything new, it's to have created new activists of people who are content to insult others from their computers and phones.
The book takes the form of long, serious conversations among three people who are well worth listening to. It's not backed up by research or prominent examples. That makes the book refreshing, but also keeps it from truly being an excellent book on the subject, in my opinion.
I was privileged to receive an advance reader copy of the book. I recommend it highly and will be purchasing copies as gifts for friends.
Its impact will necessarily be partial in that regard. Social media has intensified and shone a spotlight our unfortunate trend toward demonizing each other verbally. But that trend is at least as old as I am. I can't remember a time when politicians and activists on both sides didn't accuse the other side of the worst possible motives while ascribing purity to themselves. If social media has done anything new, it's to have created new activists of people who are content to insult others from their computers and phones.
The book takes the form of long, serious conversations among three people who are well worth listening to. It's not backed up by research or prominent examples. That makes the book refreshing, but also keeps it from truly being an excellent book on the subject, in my opinion.
I was privileged to receive an advance reader copy of the book. I recommend it highly and will be purchasing copies as gifts for friends.
November 19, 2019
I'm only 4 chapters in, but this book has already made a profound difference in my thinking. I've been hesitant to bring up difficult topics for fear of saying the wrong thing or stirring a pot I don't want to have my spoon in. The conversational nature of this book makes you feel that you're right there with the authors. The insights that each one of them brings shows that it is indeed possible to have civil conversations even when there is disagreement. "If our conversations begin with the thought that 'I'm right and you're wrong', we won't get far." (Wayne Jacobsen, co-author)
I highly recommend this book!
I highly recommend this book!
November 13, 2019
I am not sure there has ever been a more needed and timely book in our country than "A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation" ... The style in which the book is written makes the reader feel like they have pulled up a chair and joined in the conversation! There are 3 distinct voices ... sharing one heart... how to engage in conversations with those who don't think, look, believe or even live like us! We desperately need to find a better way forward as a county... I think this book will be a powerful tool!! "Agreement isn't necessary but respect isn't optional"
November 9, 2019
I received an ARC of this book. A Language of Healing is a book that is going to impact friendships, families and the workplace. No matter where we live we are doing life with people that believe differently. This is not a book just for political conversations. You can apply insights from A Language of Healing to many aspects of difficult conversations that could otherwise divide us. A great read for a book club and to recommend to friends and family.
November 23, 2019
This is one of the most important books for the world we live in. It’s written in a unique way, and feels like you’ve been given a seat at the table of an extraordinary conversation. I was challenged, I found myself agreeing and disagreeing in ways that surprised me and most of all I found myself learning a new language. Do yourself a favor and read this before you gather around your Thanksgiving table this year. You’ll be grateful you did! ❤️
November 14, 2019
This was an amazing book , truly one of a kind. At times it was like sitting at a table of friends and listening to them talk and at other times listening through a door . Either way I loved this book.
November 14, 2019
I just finished reading a pre-release copy of this book. I was challenged and inspired. The world we live in today needs this timely message. I aspire to listen past words, past race, gender or lifestyle and see value. Order from Amazon and let’s start really talking and listening.
November 27, 2019
I wish there was a way to force everyone I know to read this book. We need to have the ability to sit down together and talk about the things that are important to each of us and to discuss the things that we disagree about. We need to learn how to have important conversations and to learn to listen with the purpose of understanding. What I have seen is a belief that in every situation, there is one right way to believe, and every person who disagrees with that is not only wrong, but stupid or evil. Most problems are complicated and solutions must include compromise and nuance. A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation offers fresh and new insights and practical suggestions for improving our understanding and communication. The conversational style of the book is inviting and sets an example for the kind of discussion that is needed in our divided society. The personal stories of the three authors draw in the reader to feel a part of the conversation.
November 11, 2019
Reading the Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation and getting to listen in on Conversations about difficult topics with Arnita, Wayne and Bob has been very enlightening. There is alot of Animosity in our Nation and Racism and these three shed light in a unique way and show compassion and help bring Awareness and a Common ground in a respectful way.
I believe every person would glean from reading this book and will help them to grow and learn how to have Conversations with people that are different from them . Alot of people have fear of having conversations or relationships with people different from them , however, after reading this book it gives you courage to want to step out and embrace people from All walks of life. I am excited about this book and encourage you to buy your copy and read it!
I believe every person would glean from reading this book and will help them to grow and learn how to have Conversations with people that are different from them . Alot of people have fear of having conversations or relationships with people different from them , however, after reading this book it gives you courage to want to step out and embrace people from All walks of life. I am excited about this book and encourage you to buy your copy and read it!
November 18, 2019
Mother Teresa once said, "if we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." A Language of Healing is a life-giving conversation, showing us what it looks like when we begin to remove our imaginary barriers of "us and them." This is the space that Love invites us into. It is an invitation to leave behind a world of black and white and fall further up and further in to a world that is exploding with color and life. May the conversations in this book spark in us a desire to live and communicate in a way that mends the brokenness in our world, and at the very least, may these conversations remind us that we truly do belong to each other.
December 15, 2019
A must read if you are sick of The polarization, animosity, and rancor going on in Washington, in the news and in our communities and nation at large or just your family! This book may well come to be known as the book that changed our national dialogue beginning at the level of you and me! It is an easy read that is very interactive with all three of the authors while inviting you to join them with simple suggestions on how we can all be a part of healing and make a difference in this nation and world we love! Absolutely brilliant!
November 19, 2019
Loved this book so much. Such a timely message for today's world and culture. Very well written, and includes practical applications on how to improve your mindset/outlook.
I received an advance reader copy, which did not influence my review.
I received an advance reader copy, which did not influence my review.
November 22, 2019
This book is a part of my heart now. It doesn’t matter what color we are, where we are from, how you choose to live life. We are all made in the image of God. Learn how to get along with everyone even though their beliefs don’t match yours.
December 13, 2021
I wanted to love this book. The title and the premise are sorely needed in American political discourse today.
Key ideas:
- See disagreement as an opportunity for growth and discovery
- Share mutual respect beyond our deepest differences
- Become a peacemaker in your network of friends and family
- The "crawl, walk, run" framework in several chapters outlines a starting point for using specific questions to ask to learn more about those we disagree or are unfamiliar with
- The majority of people are not extremists, they are willing to talk through hard issues when given the chance and approached in the right way.
- Compromise on your convictions is not the same thing as finding consensus. They define consensus as a shared third way forward that meets the needs of multiple stakeholders, that they wouldn't come up with on their own.
- Ask for someone's story. It helps them feel heard, and it helps you understand them. Do this before arguing.
Where it loses points from my perspective:
- A five-star book on these themes would explore all of the above, and tie the effectiveness on this approach to some peer-reviewed, or at least statistically defensible, research. Instead, the ideas in the book are constantly tied to the specific life experiences of the three authors.
- Multiple times, especially in the first half of the book, I felt they undermined their main premise by wading haphazardly into politically-charged issues without clearly articulating, or even outlining, any critical analysis of why people hold strong views on either side (abortion, immigration, etc). It is assumed that those who hold strong right-wing or left-wing positions SHOULD seek consensus. No moral framework is offered to back this up - consensus is simply assumed to be the highest calling for political differences.
- There's some conflation between "those that disagree with you" and "those that belong to different groups than you".
- This is not a Christian book, and I'm not sure they want it to be. The framework here is not derived from the bible. While it is in agreement partially - the bible calls Christians to kindness, gentleness, self-control, and peacemaking - a source of absolute moral truth is neither discussed nor considered. I think the authors may say they did this by design. Again, the highest moral of this book is consensus.
- The very worst idea from this book, which they propose in later chapters, is basically "at some point this idea of bridging the gap will generally fail, and at that point you need to coerce people through government force." Like, it literally recommends coercion if and when talks break down, as long as what you are coercing is... good? But remember, there's no moral framework for an absolute or objective good here. This idea is SO dangerous. This point alone drops it from a 3 star book that falls short of its goal, to 2 stars because this framework can actively damage society despite its best intentions.
I would recommend Uncommon Ground: Living Faithfully in a World of Difference as a replacement on a Christian's reading list.
Romans 12:18 - If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
Key ideas:
- See disagreement as an opportunity for growth and discovery
- Share mutual respect beyond our deepest differences
- Become a peacemaker in your network of friends and family
- The "crawl, walk, run" framework in several chapters outlines a starting point for using specific questions to ask to learn more about those we disagree or are unfamiliar with
- The majority of people are not extremists, they are willing to talk through hard issues when given the chance and approached in the right way.
- Compromise on your convictions is not the same thing as finding consensus. They define consensus as a shared third way forward that meets the needs of multiple stakeholders, that they wouldn't come up with on their own.
- Ask for someone's story. It helps them feel heard, and it helps you understand them. Do this before arguing.
Where it loses points from my perspective:
- A five-star book on these themes would explore all of the above, and tie the effectiveness on this approach to some peer-reviewed, or at least statistically defensible, research. Instead, the ideas in the book are constantly tied to the specific life experiences of the three authors.
- Multiple times, especially in the first half of the book, I felt they undermined their main premise by wading haphazardly into politically-charged issues without clearly articulating, or even outlining, any critical analysis of why people hold strong views on either side (abortion, immigration, etc). It is assumed that those who hold strong right-wing or left-wing positions SHOULD seek consensus. No moral framework is offered to back this up - consensus is simply assumed to be the highest calling for political differences.
- There's some conflation between "those that disagree with you" and "those that belong to different groups than you".
- This is not a Christian book, and I'm not sure they want it to be. The framework here is not derived from the bible. While it is in agreement partially - the bible calls Christians to kindness, gentleness, self-control, and peacemaking - a source of absolute moral truth is neither discussed nor considered. I think the authors may say they did this by design. Again, the highest moral of this book is consensus.
- The very worst idea from this book, which they propose in later chapters, is basically "at some point this idea of bridging the gap will generally fail, and at that point you need to coerce people through government force." Like, it literally recommends coercion if and when talks break down, as long as what you are coercing is... good? But remember, there's no moral framework for an absolute or objective good here. This idea is SO dangerous. This point alone drops it from a 3 star book that falls short of its goal, to 2 stars because this framework can actively damage society despite its best intentions.
I would recommend Uncommon Ground: Living Faithfully in a World of Difference as a replacement on a Christian's reading list.
Romans 12:18 - If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
July 28, 2020
This is a must read, especially since we are living in a time of escalating political, religious, and racial turmoil! I usually am not fond of books written in a conversational manner, but this book kept me engaged. I loved hearing these 3 people of diverse backgrounds share with the utmost love, respect, and kindness to one another. It gives me hope for a brighter future and inspires me to intentionally seek out people who are different from me so we can learn from one another. I want to be a person who speaks the language of healing, don’t you? This book also is filled with suggestions at the end of each chapter to help you apply what’s you read and grow—that’s an added bonus in my book. 😃I will be reviewing and reading this again.
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