What do you think?
Rate this book
Don't Read This Book, Whatever You Do!
Caution! Warning! Alarm! I am your teacher and I am begging you, Don't Read This Book, Whatever You Do!
64 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1993
6 people are currently reading
56 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
October 3, 2011
1) Genre: Poetry
2) This is a compilation of various poems related to school situations.
3) Critique:
a) Honestly, this was one of the worst collections of poems I think I have ever encountered. I really wish I had listened to the title of the book, “Don’t Read This Book, Whatever you Do!” I have always felt that any book, regardless of the genre, has something positive about it and it should simply be appreciated because it is a work of literature. Consequently, I feel that some of the poems have catchy lines and interesting topics; however, the content of the majority of the poems are simply dull and at times rather sad for younger elementary students.
b) I’ll start with the positive. Interesting topics include friendship
(“Best Friends, p. 9) and a discussion amongst the items left in a lost and found box (“Voices from the Lost and Found”, p. 18). Not so interesting or sad topics include a fourth grader making fun that he hasn’t raised his hand since second grade (“A Fourth Grader’s Secret”, p. 27), a child pleading that the teacher/parent will still love him if he fails (“Don’t Tell Me”, p. 36), and a random poem about a child talking about her family killed in a war. (“Not Anymore”, p. 53)
c) Since it is obvious why the interesting poems would actually be interesting to students, I will focus more on the examples of poems I questioned. In “A Fourth Grader’s Secret”, I really felt like the poem was finding humor in the fact that he hasn’t raised his hand to answer a question since second grade. The accompany illustration portrays the young boy smiling as if he is content with this. Maybe it’s just the teacher in me, but I felt including this poem kind of encouraged non-participation in the classrooms, as if it’s okay to not participate in class because clearly the boy made it out of second grade. The first time I read “Don’t Tell Me”, I immediately thought of an abused child who is pleading with his/her teacher/parent to not stop loving them if they make a mistake, “Just tell me you’ll still love me, even if I do.” And to add to the randomness of the poems, “Not Anymore” is about a class asking a new student if he has any brothers and sisters, “He sighed so long we thought he would never breathe again. Then in a rush of words, like water going over the falls, he said, I used to but not anymore because they were killed in a war.” This is a poem included towards the end of the book, so by this point I was used to the random and sometimes awkward poems, but I felt like this was a bit much. The title of this book, “Don’t Read This Book, Whatever You Do!” seems a bit mysterious and fun and even has a very cheerful illustration along with it. Therefore, I was a bit confused on why these poems were just so…blah.
4) Curriculum Connection: I wouldn’t recommend creating any lesson in relation to this book; however, if I absolutely had to use it, I suppose I would pick one of the few interesting poems and use it as a model for my class. My students could use this to understand the structure of a poem and various rhyme schemes.
2) This is a compilation of various poems related to school situations.
3) Critique:
a) Honestly, this was one of the worst collections of poems I think I have ever encountered. I really wish I had listened to the title of the book, “Don’t Read This Book, Whatever you Do!” I have always felt that any book, regardless of the genre, has something positive about it and it should simply be appreciated because it is a work of literature. Consequently, I feel that some of the poems have catchy lines and interesting topics; however, the content of the majority of the poems are simply dull and at times rather sad for younger elementary students.
b) I’ll start with the positive. Interesting topics include friendship
(“Best Friends, p. 9) and a discussion amongst the items left in a lost and found box (“Voices from the Lost and Found”, p. 18). Not so interesting or sad topics include a fourth grader making fun that he hasn’t raised his hand since second grade (“A Fourth Grader’s Secret”, p. 27), a child pleading that the teacher/parent will still love him if he fails (“Don’t Tell Me”, p. 36), and a random poem about a child talking about her family killed in a war. (“Not Anymore”, p. 53)
c) Since it is obvious why the interesting poems would actually be interesting to students, I will focus more on the examples of poems I questioned. In “A Fourth Grader’s Secret”, I really felt like the poem was finding humor in the fact that he hasn’t raised his hand to answer a question since second grade. The accompany illustration portrays the young boy smiling as if he is content with this. Maybe it’s just the teacher in me, but I felt including this poem kind of encouraged non-participation in the classrooms, as if it’s okay to not participate in class because clearly the boy made it out of second grade. The first time I read “Don’t Tell Me”, I immediately thought of an abused child who is pleading with his/her teacher/parent to not stop loving them if they make a mistake, “Just tell me you’ll still love me, even if I do.” And to add to the randomness of the poems, “Not Anymore” is about a class asking a new student if he has any brothers and sisters, “He sighed so long we thought he would never breathe again. Then in a rush of words, like water going over the falls, he said, I used to but not anymore because they were killed in a war.” This is a poem included towards the end of the book, so by this point I was used to the random and sometimes awkward poems, but I felt like this was a bit much. The title of this book, “Don’t Read This Book, Whatever You Do!” seems a bit mysterious and fun and even has a very cheerful illustration along with it. Therefore, I was a bit confused on why these poems were just so…blah.
4) Curriculum Connection: I wouldn’t recommend creating any lesson in relation to this book; however, if I absolutely had to use it, I suppose I would pick one of the few interesting poems and use it as a model for my class. My students could use this to understand the structure of a poem and various rhyme schemes.
July 18, 2020
Read this to my second grade students and they thought it was the funniest thing. Very fun for a read aloud and the kids get really into it. Was a personal favorite of mine as a child too.
March 12, 2023
This book contains a fun collection of poems with a school theme. The poetry rhymes and many of the poems would be great to read aloud by one or more people.
The black-and-white pencil on paper illustrations by G. Brian Karas are cartoonish and complement the poems well.
The black-and-white pencil on paper illustrations by G. Brian Karas are cartoonish and complement the poems well.
March 23, 2025
(4.8) i really liked this, there were poems that were nice for me as an adult. i found myself thinking if this was really for elementary schoolers, but maybe it’s also a good reminder that children are more aware and ready to challenge their world view than they’re often credited for
March 15, 2019
This book includes poems all about things in school, whether friends, test, gym, teachers, etc. Throughout it includes creativity ways that the text is shown as well as pictures.
children-s-books
April 20, 2020This is definitely for older elementary kids as some of the poems address more adult topics.
April 16, 2015
1. Poetry
2. This is a strange collection of poems that captures the many aspects of school life. Some are (to be nice) interesting takes on the life a grade-schooler but most are just lacking in any real reason to pick up this book. Most don't even rhyme. The only poem I really liked was about a mean student and a girl named Kate; which starts off really terrible sounding. I typically try to give poems a chance but this books content is just plain bad. Unfortunately, it's title is somewhat ironic in that YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T READ THIS BOOK, WHATEVER YOU DO!
3. Critique
a. The poems in this book lack any real flow. They are often confusing and skip over content so that the reader is unsure what message the author meant for the poem to send.
b. Most poems do have a central theme or subject but its hard to follow any of them, they are simply bad poetry. I actually checked to see if the authors were children and was disappointed when I read that she is an adult -AND that she's from Virginia (bad for the home team). I think they are meant to be funny, but they come off sounding confused, not humorous. Perhaps third and fourth graders would find this book amusing but I've certainly read better poetry books for that age group that were better suited for them.
c. The one poem I ended up liking is as follows:
You were hatched in a witch's brew
Mean Student: Laughing at Kate "You're so ugly you belong in a zoo, The clothing you wear is hideous, too, You must have been hatched in a witch's brew." Kate: Smiling "Some of the things you say are true, I was hatched in a witch's brew, Now watch me cast a spell on you! Poof!" Mean Student: "Ribbit! Ribbit!"
4. I wouldn't use this book in a curriculum setting. I think parts of it are inappropriate for school; i.e. it talks about school in a negative light more than once.
I would use this book by displaying the poems written out on a projector and ask that students help me "fix" each poem to make it better. I might leave out certain parts to have them fill in the gaps or words or phrases.
2. This is a strange collection of poems that captures the many aspects of school life. Some are (to be nice) interesting takes on the life a grade-schooler but most are just lacking in any real reason to pick up this book. Most don't even rhyme. The only poem I really liked was about a mean student and a girl named Kate; which starts off really terrible sounding. I typically try to give poems a chance but this books content is just plain bad. Unfortunately, it's title is somewhat ironic in that YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T READ THIS BOOK, WHATEVER YOU DO!
3. Critique
a. The poems in this book lack any real flow. They are often confusing and skip over content so that the reader is unsure what message the author meant for the poem to send.
b. Most poems do have a central theme or subject but its hard to follow any of them, they are simply bad poetry. I actually checked to see if the authors were children and was disappointed when I read that she is an adult -AND that she's from Virginia (bad for the home team). I think they are meant to be funny, but they come off sounding confused, not humorous. Perhaps third and fourth graders would find this book amusing but I've certainly read better poetry books for that age group that were better suited for them.
c. The one poem I ended up liking is as follows:
You were hatched in a witch's brew
Mean Student: Laughing at Kate "You're so ugly you belong in a zoo, The clothing you wear is hideous, too, You must have been hatched in a witch's brew." Kate: Smiling "Some of the things you say are true, I was hatched in a witch's brew, Now watch me cast a spell on you! Poof!" Mean Student: "Ribbit! Ribbit!"
4. I wouldn't use this book in a curriculum setting. I think parts of it are inappropriate for school; i.e. it talks about school in a negative light more than once.
I would use this book by displaying the poems written out on a projector and ask that students help me "fix" each poem to make it better. I might leave out certain parts to have them fill in the gaps or words or phrases.
February 17, 2014
Older students will enjoy this book! The title may even be tempting to some, 'Don't Read This Book, Whatever You Do!' There are poems about writing, test taking, substitute teachers, classroom teachers and so much more! I think this book could really spark interest in pottery for students. Some poems are even set up with a 'cast'. You could give poems to groups of students and let the students practice and then preform the poems for the class. I think this would work best for third or fourth grade students. I enjoyed this book because there is a comical spin on things students do not enjoy, test taking and writing papers! I would a poem or two from the book to catch the classes attention and then leave the book out for students to select to read on their own. I would also use this book in a small group setting to focus on looking at punctuation when reading and emphasizing expression.
June 20, 2009
Don't Read This Book Whatever You Do
Caution!
Warning!
Alarm!
I am your teacher
And I'm begging you
Don't read this book
Whatever you do!
It's as If I'm stuck
To it like glue
Read it today
As I walked to school
Forgot attendance
Then book money, too
Sneaked peeks, during math
I confess. It's true
Didn't eat my lunch
Just read right through
Now color the lakes
On your maps in blue
I'll try to finish
Before gym at two
(Teacher is sneaking peeks at her book while she is talking to students)
Caution!
Warning!
Alarm!
I am your teacher
And I'm begging you
Don't read this book
Whatever you do!
It's as If I'm stuck
To it like glue
Read it today
As I walked to school
Forgot attendance
Then book money, too
Sneaked peeks, during math
I confess. It's true
Didn't eat my lunch
Just read right through
Now color the lakes
On your maps in blue
I'll try to finish
Before gym at two
(Teacher is sneaking peeks at her book while she is talking to students)
April 23, 2016
I have a copy of If You're Not Here, Please Raise Your Hand so when I saw this on Open eBooks, I had to read it.
The poems are in the same vein as the previous book. I thought the one about the items in lost in found was particularly interesting. There are a lot of funny poems, but also serious ones. It's a nice mix. I related to "If My Hand Didn't Get So Tired" (with my carpal, this happens a lot) and "Don't Read This Book Whatever You Do" (since I have been known to walk around with my nose glued in a book).
The poems are in the same vein as the previous book. I thought the one about the items in lost in found was particularly interesting. There are a lot of funny poems, but also serious ones. It's a nice mix. I related to "If My Hand Didn't Get So Tired" (with my carpal, this happens a lot) and "Don't Read This Book Whatever You Do" (since I have been known to walk around with my nose glued in a book).
Read
August 28, 2015Dakos at her best with this collection of poetry, some for single voices and some for groups. She captures the fun and foibles of life in an elementary school through the voice of children to share with children and adults. Both teachers and students will recognize these deftly portrayed moments in a school day.
Loosely-drawn, cartoon style artwork from Karas accent the verses.
Loosely-drawn, cartoon style artwork from Karas accent the verses.
December 17, 2012
LOVED this book!!!--Many fun poems to share with teachers and scholars. Am so glad that I bought this book. Will donate it to our Esperanza library.
Read this book again (12-17-12) so I could mark which poems I wanted to put in a poetry file. The poems were even more fun this time around.
Read this book again (12-17-12) so I could mark which poems I wanted to put in a poetry file. The poems were even more fun this time around.
April 6, 2013
I initially purchased this book 15 years ago, and about 6-7 years ago it came up missing. I love the funny look Kalli Dakos takes on as she writes from the child's point of view. If I ever see another copy I will definitely buy it.
April 18, 2013
Maybe its because I met Ms. Dakos and heard her read the poems in 2001 but I have been reading this book to my library classes ever since. I esp. like Ode to a Toe, Pick me Please & If kids were in Charge of schools. I invite students to read the mini-plays in front of class.
June 23, 2013
Kalli Dakos helps bring the school world to life with comedy and seriousness for people of all ages. Her rhymes are wonderful. As a teacher, you have to read "I'd Mark It With Sunshine" and you will never look at a red pen/pencil the same way again.
October 25, 2013
DRA:? Reading level: Grades 3-6
The book contains 36 different poems about school life. The poems express different situations that happen inside of the school. They depict experiences of students in the classroom as well as the dynamics among students and teachers.
The book contains 36 different poems about school life. The poems express different situations that happen inside of the school. They depict experiences of students in the classroom as well as the dynamics among students and teachers.
October 28, 2008
i think that this book is very funny and it has very interesting poems.
January 17, 2010
poetry........
June 12, 2012
This book is filled of short funny poems about school. The book is ideal for elementary school students. And it is a great way to start introducing poetry in the classroom.
October 1, 2014
Thought it was a great mix of poems and riddles for someone to get a tickle about, read this book if you are a fan of poem literature!
June 15, 2016
I bought this on an impulse and I really enjoyed it. The poems are short and whimsical. If you are just waiting for the bus to come or a quick read, this pocket-sized book is perfect for that task.
June 28, 2016
I loved this book of school poems as a child, but they are much more meaningful as an adult who has seen the teacher's side of education.
September 5, 2013
I love the poem eric is allergic to girls
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews