What do you think?
Rate this book
Healing for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: Increase Resilience, Nurture Healthy Relationships, and Reclaim Your True Self
If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment.
This breakthrough audio course was created to help you revive your self-confidence and sense of self, value your own needs, and move forward in your life.
Your instructor, Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD, has dedicated her professional life to helping adult children of emotionally immature parents (ACEIPs). She speaks to you from the heart with a warm, empathetic tone as she takes you on a journey of self-discovery and transformation.
You’ll start by learning how to recognize emotionally immature behavior in your parents and other people in your life.
Then you’ll explore 12 ways emotionally immature parenting can continue to impact your life along with steps to break the detrimental patterns you’ve learned.
Once you complete the course, you’ll be equipped
Revive your self-confidence Build resilience Set boundaries Build healthy relationships Become who you were meant to be Gibson’s approach includes evidence-based treatments and was created to meet the unique needs of ACEIPs by drawing
Accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy (AEDP) Emotionally focused individual therapy (EFIT) Internal family systems (IFS) Coherence therapy Polyvagal theory Right brain psychotherapy Developmental psychology Psychodynamic theory You don’t have to live with the impacts of emotionally immature parenting—listen to this powerful audio course during your commute, lunch break, or workout, and get the expert guidance you need to recognize emotionally immature behavior, understand its impacts, and finally embrace meaningful change in your life.
(Please this course is audio only and contains no video or other materials from the full video version of the course.)
This breakthrough audio course was created to help you revive your self-confidence and sense of self, value your own needs, and move forward in your life.
Your instructor, Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD, has dedicated her professional life to helping adult children of emotionally immature parents (ACEIPs). She speaks to you from the heart with a warm, empathetic tone as she takes you on a journey of self-discovery and transformation.
You’ll start by learning how to recognize emotionally immature behavior in your parents and other people in your life.
Then you’ll explore 12 ways emotionally immature parenting can continue to impact your life along with steps to break the detrimental patterns you’ve learned.
Once you complete the course, you’ll be equipped
Revive your self-confidence Build resilience Set boundaries Build healthy relationships Become who you were meant to be Gibson’s approach includes evidence-based treatments and was created to meet the unique needs of ACEIPs by drawing
Accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy (AEDP) Emotionally focused individual therapy (EFIT) Internal family systems (IFS) Coherence therapy Polyvagal theory Right brain psychotherapy Developmental psychology Psychodynamic theory You don’t have to live with the impacts of emotionally immature parenting—listen to this powerful audio course during your commute, lunch break, or workout, and get the expert guidance you need to recognize emotionally immature behavior, understand its impacts, and finally embrace meaningful change in your life.
(Please this course is audio only and contains no video or other materials from the full video version of the course.)
- GenresPsychology
Audible Audio
Published July 31, 2024
7 people are currently reading
20 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
June 16, 2025
They’re not going to be able to see things form your point of view or work things out. They have a kind of lack of self-reflection, and lack of empathy. They don’t reflect on their behavior.
They have a real fear of emotional intimacy. They will not go there. For them it is existentially frightening for someone to get to know them. They won’t want to open up, get to know you, be emotionally close.
It is fascinating to what lengths an EIP will go to make reality what they want it. e.g. They think reality is what they feel it to be. They’re not interested in objective facts.
They use emotional coercion guilt shame fear self-doubt that turn you against yourself and undermine your self-confidence.
Self-knowledge is the basis for boundaries which protects you from being coerced into doing things. If you’re not solid on what you like, it opens the door for people to steer you in the direction of their needs. yOu need to know who you are for your best sense of meaning and mission. What are your interests? Energizes you? This may seem small, but it’s not. What gives you pleasure and rest?
EIP engage in emotional coercion, act in ways or looks on face, statements, to tell you you should be feeling a certain way because their unhappy. When you feel guilt, fear, shame, self-doubt, think, who made me feel this way? Signal behaviors are important. Often its the cue of the EIP so they get you to do what they feel comfortable with, make you focus on them.
When we know that someone understands what’s going on inside us, we feel close connection with that person and security, when someone gets you. Empathy, and mirroring expressions and body language. Emotionally mature parents educate kids on feelings, thoughts, who they are. Self-knowledge is necessary for emotional health and mental well-being. It’s the essential part of doing life. Who are you? What do you need? Tune in. Self-reflect. Attunement.
EIPs come across in ways that set up a dynamic of dominating you or using power plays. This is not because they’re bad, but have learned to be defensive and feel safe, take care of themselves. When they shut you down, they feel more in control. Acknowledge they are taking the upper hand and don’t go along with it.
EIP are bound by logic or keeping to point. Whatever makes them feel better, defensive to feel safe. Change topic, start conflict, go on tangent, whatever helps their anxiety go down. If you try to follow it, you’ll end up confused. You can remind yourself internally, I don’t have to be afraid of this person and what they can do. I have the right to have my own reactions (say internally). I’m not impressed with you. Our relationship will be adult to adult. I’ll be respectful, but I can think and feel whatever I want. (Resist in your mind)
You can tell yourself. I don’t have to be empathic and fair and give in to what they want. I don’t have to make sense of their nonsense. That’s not my job. If they don’t want to be clear, I can listen politely, but if they’re not clear when I ask a question, I’ll give up. I understand the power play dynamic here.
The most important thing is that you’re not trying to win the encounter or put them down. Repeat your point. Feel good about what you’re saying, your boundaries, and then go on. You do have the option to decide what will be the optimal time or distance that you want before the next encounter. (Via text only, or not coming back home more than once a year) Don’t be corralled into more contact than you want.
It can be discouraging to give you what you need and want, and not acknowledge there’s a problem. You don’t have to set limits, may not be your style. Do what you have the energy and will for it. Don’t make yourself do something. Be yourself. Take care of yourself. Let the person know you won’t be spoken to in a certain way, shaming, demeaning responses. You cant stop it, but you don’t have to listen to it.
Emotional takeovers are upsets, emergencies that need your help, regardless of inconvenience to you, what’s going on in your life (no empathy). They contact you, upset and pressure is on you, and fix it, do something! It keeps what’s most important to them in the forefront. Be effective. Withstand their pressure, don’t give in, hold your position. It doesn’t feel effective! But it is. When you take action, restate your position. Interject with questions, etc.. You are regaining some control. Don’t try to be powerful. Not a good goal. That moves you into conflict. Don’t assert power over, it creates more of what you’re trying to protect yourself from. Be clear consistent. Adopt a dull solution. Not sparkly, assertive. Say what you mean and repeat it over and over again. EIP are not ready to withstand someone repeating their position, it’s boring, they don’t get what they want. Stay calm, consistent. State the boundary. What you don’t want or what you will do. Calm, repeated delivery of what’s important to you.
You know what your boundaries are. You know what you need. You don’t have to convince or change them or make them feel bad, just simply keep informing them. You know if your motive is to make them feel bad. You let them know what you can or cant’ do, or will or won’t do. When they put pressure on you, you have the power, because you just withstand the pressure. And in control of yourself and your goals, and in spite of their reactivity, you stick to it, and that’s what works. Restate your point. Repeat repeat repeat.
They aren’t mean or bad people, they’r insecure and anxious and become defensive, they don’t want challenge.
Learn to listen to yourself (they taught you differently)
EIPs are great about making you feel guilty at being selfish. They present this implicit morality, if you’re not doing things for them, looking out for your interests, or setting boundaries/limits, this means you’re a selfish person. Why would it be bad to take care of yourself and set a limit? They make you feel as if your’e self-centered for not doing what they want. You can make yourself immune if you catch it. Don’t agree with what they want if it’s not what you want. Being self-sacrificing is not good if it’s harmful to you, or from emotional coercion, and don’t take care of yourself. Your efforts are going towards them accepting and taking up that but are not giving anything in return.
Criticism from an EIP works well to get the focus back on them, because it puts the attention on them. Probably more what it’s about.
Whose life is this? Whose going to pay the price for this decision? Is it me or them?
When a person minimizes their pain or need, they got it from people discounting them when they went to them with their needs, it’s not so bad, don’t worry, minimizing invalidating comments from EIParents. So you feel undeserving of love. You learn that your needs are not important, so you can get along with your parent or others. “It’s so small…I’m so sorry to bother you. I hate to ask.”
Being good doesn’t mean pushing past your limits, and what’s good for you, ignoring the effects of stress and fatigue until you get sick. Many times clients of mine will report going home and come back sick! Their immune system got zapped from exhaustion of being with people who discounted them and filled them with lots of emotions. Keep yourself healthy.
Feeling that the EIP gives them is you should never have made that mistake in the first place. Totally unrealistic. Children can feel unworthy when they make mistakes. It’s the feeling the parent gives them. Make clear the difference between the mistake and who I am as a person.
One of the symptoms of dealing with EIP is you get accustomed to putting up with too much and being satisfied with too little. You’re taught to understand others needs and not express your needs, explain away others behavior, etc. It’s unsatisfying, and there’s a need to tolerate. Relationships are not hard work, they take effort.
Don’t be so understanding of people’s problems or actions that you allow yourself to be treated badly. You are not in the person recovery program where you rescue people from difficult times by giving them a good relationship with you!
Externalizers and EIPs think they’re right and others are wrong. When you try to get them to look at their part in it, it doesn’t work. Their whole orientation is push blame out on something or someone else.
EIP use to get other people to fall under their control. They will act like their role entitles them to a morally superior position over you, as if it gives permission to treat you as not as important as them. “Because I’m your mother.” They sprinkle on this moral dimension which says in effect, You’re bad if you don’t let us boss you around or agree with what we want to do.
They get upset that you can’t disregard them or be objective. They also give impression that you are to blame. The message is you are responsible for their feelings. You should be saying or doing something to make them feel better (negative emotion) But really? Is that your job? Are you supposed to be their source of emotional stability?
Be careful about how much you empathize with the EIP, it will often turn into being controlled by them. Also, brain scramble is when you keep trying to understand them or their tangents, and it means you’ve gotten caught up in their system.
Healing fantasy is holding out hope that one day that EIP will reverse the characteristic and become the kind of attentive, kind, caring, empathetic, sensitive, wise person they always wanted. It’s important because it gives hope. But when you live waiting for that to happen, you’re waiting for an egocentric person without much empathy to somehow become the kind of person who will listen, get to know you, be there for you in an emotional way, that’s not likely to happen. People can change, but only when they’re willing to self-reflect.
The person won’t change. I’m not waiting for them to change. I will change what I tolerate. This is the key to transformation. This is based on reality.
If you understand how difficult it is to satisfy EIP, you can begin to disengage form the feeling of not being enough because it comes from their low receptive capacity. If they were satisfied with what you did, they would no longer be the center of your attention.
The best outcome is to ask, ‘How can I take care of myself in this interaction? I can’t make them love me. I can take care of myself if they are not being responsive to me. Keep in mind what you want to get out of it. It should be a feeling that you have stayed in your own shoes, and what you need, and haven’t sold out to what the other person needs you to be, and haven’t given in to the healing fantasy of how can I make you love me.
One of the most draining things to your energy is what you try to feel a certain way about someone and are working against the truth. It’s okay to say in your head, I just don’t like her. It’s living with the truth.
This is something that is a challenge, but once you get the hang of realizing how someone is trying to get you to feel for your own purposes or have more control in relationship, those things will lose their power over you. Remember to follow your energy, when it goes up or down (tired and don’t want to do it, or alert, looking forward to something) Anxiety is not, you may feel anxious and be doing the right thing.
Let the emotionally immature people have their own world. They’re comfortable. You don’t have to force them to join you (emotional intimacy, empathy, respect for others). Neither do you have to force yourself to join their world. Be yourself. Take care of yourself.
They have a real fear of emotional intimacy. They will not go there. For them it is existentially frightening for someone to get to know them. They won’t want to open up, get to know you, be emotionally close.
It is fascinating to what lengths an EIP will go to make reality what they want it. e.g. They think reality is what they feel it to be. They’re not interested in objective facts.
They use emotional coercion guilt shame fear self-doubt that turn you against yourself and undermine your self-confidence.
Self-knowledge is the basis for boundaries which protects you from being coerced into doing things. If you’re not solid on what you like, it opens the door for people to steer you in the direction of their needs. yOu need to know who you are for your best sense of meaning and mission. What are your interests? Energizes you? This may seem small, but it’s not. What gives you pleasure and rest?
EIP engage in emotional coercion, act in ways or looks on face, statements, to tell you you should be feeling a certain way because their unhappy. When you feel guilt, fear, shame, self-doubt, think, who made me feel this way? Signal behaviors are important. Often its the cue of the EIP so they get you to do what they feel comfortable with, make you focus on them.
When we know that someone understands what’s going on inside us, we feel close connection with that person and security, when someone gets you. Empathy, and mirroring expressions and body language. Emotionally mature parents educate kids on feelings, thoughts, who they are. Self-knowledge is necessary for emotional health and mental well-being. It’s the essential part of doing life. Who are you? What do you need? Tune in. Self-reflect. Attunement.
EIPs come across in ways that set up a dynamic of dominating you or using power plays. This is not because they’re bad, but have learned to be defensive and feel safe, take care of themselves. When they shut you down, they feel more in control. Acknowledge they are taking the upper hand and don’t go along with it.
EIP are bound by logic or keeping to point. Whatever makes them feel better, defensive to feel safe. Change topic, start conflict, go on tangent, whatever helps their anxiety go down. If you try to follow it, you’ll end up confused. You can remind yourself internally, I don’t have to be afraid of this person and what they can do. I have the right to have my own reactions (say internally). I’m not impressed with you. Our relationship will be adult to adult. I’ll be respectful, but I can think and feel whatever I want. (Resist in your mind)
You can tell yourself. I don’t have to be empathic and fair and give in to what they want. I don’t have to make sense of their nonsense. That’s not my job. If they don’t want to be clear, I can listen politely, but if they’re not clear when I ask a question, I’ll give up. I understand the power play dynamic here.
The most important thing is that you’re not trying to win the encounter or put them down. Repeat your point. Feel good about what you’re saying, your boundaries, and then go on. You do have the option to decide what will be the optimal time or distance that you want before the next encounter. (Via text only, or not coming back home more than once a year) Don’t be corralled into more contact than you want.
It can be discouraging to give you what you need and want, and not acknowledge there’s a problem. You don’t have to set limits, may not be your style. Do what you have the energy and will for it. Don’t make yourself do something. Be yourself. Take care of yourself. Let the person know you won’t be spoken to in a certain way, shaming, demeaning responses. You cant stop it, but you don’t have to listen to it.
Emotional takeovers are upsets, emergencies that need your help, regardless of inconvenience to you, what’s going on in your life (no empathy). They contact you, upset and pressure is on you, and fix it, do something! It keeps what’s most important to them in the forefront. Be effective. Withstand their pressure, don’t give in, hold your position. It doesn’t feel effective! But it is. When you take action, restate your position. Interject with questions, etc.. You are regaining some control. Don’t try to be powerful. Not a good goal. That moves you into conflict. Don’t assert power over, it creates more of what you’re trying to protect yourself from. Be clear consistent. Adopt a dull solution. Not sparkly, assertive. Say what you mean and repeat it over and over again. EIP are not ready to withstand someone repeating their position, it’s boring, they don’t get what they want. Stay calm, consistent. State the boundary. What you don’t want or what you will do. Calm, repeated delivery of what’s important to you.
You know what your boundaries are. You know what you need. You don’t have to convince or change them or make them feel bad, just simply keep informing them. You know if your motive is to make them feel bad. You let them know what you can or cant’ do, or will or won’t do. When they put pressure on you, you have the power, because you just withstand the pressure. And in control of yourself and your goals, and in spite of their reactivity, you stick to it, and that’s what works. Restate your point. Repeat repeat repeat.
They aren’t mean or bad people, they’r insecure and anxious and become defensive, they don’t want challenge.
Learn to listen to yourself (they taught you differently)
EIPs are great about making you feel guilty at being selfish. They present this implicit morality, if you’re not doing things for them, looking out for your interests, or setting boundaries/limits, this means you’re a selfish person. Why would it be bad to take care of yourself and set a limit? They make you feel as if your’e self-centered for not doing what they want. You can make yourself immune if you catch it. Don’t agree with what they want if it’s not what you want. Being self-sacrificing is not good if it’s harmful to you, or from emotional coercion, and don’t take care of yourself. Your efforts are going towards them accepting and taking up that but are not giving anything in return.
Criticism from an EIP works well to get the focus back on them, because it puts the attention on them. Probably more what it’s about.
Whose life is this? Whose going to pay the price for this decision? Is it me or them?
When a person minimizes their pain or need, they got it from people discounting them when they went to them with their needs, it’s not so bad, don’t worry, minimizing invalidating comments from EIParents. So you feel undeserving of love. You learn that your needs are not important, so you can get along with your parent or others. “It’s so small…I’m so sorry to bother you. I hate to ask.”
Being good doesn’t mean pushing past your limits, and what’s good for you, ignoring the effects of stress and fatigue until you get sick. Many times clients of mine will report going home and come back sick! Their immune system got zapped from exhaustion of being with people who discounted them and filled them with lots of emotions. Keep yourself healthy.
Feeling that the EIP gives them is you should never have made that mistake in the first place. Totally unrealistic. Children can feel unworthy when they make mistakes. It’s the feeling the parent gives them. Make clear the difference between the mistake and who I am as a person.
One of the symptoms of dealing with EIP is you get accustomed to putting up with too much and being satisfied with too little. You’re taught to understand others needs and not express your needs, explain away others behavior, etc. It’s unsatisfying, and there’s a need to tolerate. Relationships are not hard work, they take effort.
Don’t be so understanding of people’s problems or actions that you allow yourself to be treated badly. You are not in the person recovery program where you rescue people from difficult times by giving them a good relationship with you!
Externalizers and EIPs think they’re right and others are wrong. When you try to get them to look at their part in it, it doesn’t work. Their whole orientation is push blame out on something or someone else.
EIP use to get other people to fall under their control. They will act like their role entitles them to a morally superior position over you, as if it gives permission to treat you as not as important as them. “Because I’m your mother.” They sprinkle on this moral dimension which says in effect, You’re bad if you don’t let us boss you around or agree with what we want to do.
They get upset that you can’t disregard them or be objective. They also give impression that you are to blame. The message is you are responsible for their feelings. You should be saying or doing something to make them feel better (negative emotion) But really? Is that your job? Are you supposed to be their source of emotional stability?
Be careful about how much you empathize with the EIP, it will often turn into being controlled by them. Also, brain scramble is when you keep trying to understand them or their tangents, and it means you’ve gotten caught up in their system.
Healing fantasy is holding out hope that one day that EIP will reverse the characteristic and become the kind of attentive, kind, caring, empathetic, sensitive, wise person they always wanted. It’s important because it gives hope. But when you live waiting for that to happen, you’re waiting for an egocentric person without much empathy to somehow become the kind of person who will listen, get to know you, be there for you in an emotional way, that’s not likely to happen. People can change, but only when they’re willing to self-reflect.
The person won’t change. I’m not waiting for them to change. I will change what I tolerate. This is the key to transformation. This is based on reality.
If you understand how difficult it is to satisfy EIP, you can begin to disengage form the feeling of not being enough because it comes from their low receptive capacity. If they were satisfied with what you did, they would no longer be the center of your attention.
The best outcome is to ask, ‘How can I take care of myself in this interaction? I can’t make them love me. I can take care of myself if they are not being responsive to me. Keep in mind what you want to get out of it. It should be a feeling that you have stayed in your own shoes, and what you need, and haven’t sold out to what the other person needs you to be, and haven’t given in to the healing fantasy of how can I make you love me.
One of the most draining things to your energy is what you try to feel a certain way about someone and are working against the truth. It’s okay to say in your head, I just don’t like her. It’s living with the truth.
This is something that is a challenge, but once you get the hang of realizing how someone is trying to get you to feel for your own purposes or have more control in relationship, those things will lose their power over you. Remember to follow your energy, when it goes up or down (tired and don’t want to do it, or alert, looking forward to something) Anxiety is not, you may feel anxious and be doing the right thing.
Let the emotionally immature people have their own world. They’re comfortable. You don’t have to force them to join you (emotional intimacy, empathy, respect for others). Neither do you have to force yourself to join their world. Be yourself. Take care of yourself.
April 25, 2025
Everything by this author is fantastic and I loved this. It's short, and like a refresher to some of her longer books on the same subject. I got this on the Hoopla library app and I listened to it during a time of big transition to just give myself an extra boost. My energy is low right now and I needed the pep talk:)
May 3, 2025
This was my favorite of all of her books!
May 17, 2025
Lindsay C. Gibson should narrate all her books!!! This is my fourth book by her, and as far as I’m aware the only one where she’s acted as narrator! I really deeply connected with the content in this book more than all the others… it’s a gem 💕💕💕💕💕
August 12, 2025
Excellent help for ACEIP!
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews