The Sin of Empathy: Compassion and Its Counterfeits

by Joe Rigney

The so-called virtue of empathy is the greatest rhetorical tool of manipulation in the 21st century. Because love is a real virtue, empathy’s power is in posing as selfless care for victims. A sad polar bear paces as David Attenborough informs you that the family suburban is melting the ice caps. “Jesus was an asylum seeker!” the sign reads at an Open Borders Rally. A forlorn Bruno wishes he too could change in the women’s locker room, a place he’s always known he belonged. “My mom said if we don’t go she’ll be just devastated.” When you reject the sin of empathy, you reject the manipulation of the media, the manipulation of family and friends, and most importantly, the manipulation of your own heart.

Genres: Christian, Christian Living, Theology, Cultural, Nonfiction, Christianity, Audiobook

164 pages, Hardcover

Published February 25, 2025

Reviews

[Joshua Domston · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ah, The Sin of Empathy. A book that boldly argues against one of the most fundamental human emotions—because, apparently, feeling too much for others is dangerous. This is like writing a book called The Downside of Breathing or Why Love is Overrated.

Joe Rigney seems to believe that empathy isn’t just a potential weakness—it’s an outright sin. His argument? That empathy can be weaponized, manipulated, and lead to bad decisions. Sure, any emotion taken to an extreme can be misused, but does that mean we should demonize the entire concept? By this logic, we should also ban enthusiasm, because some people get too excited at concerts.

The book tries to distinguish between empathy and “rational compassion,” as if feeling deeply for others somehow makes you incapable of making sound decisions. The irony, of course, is that true empathy isn’t about mindless emotional surrender—it’s about understanding others, which is generally a good thing unless your goal is to become a robot.

Rigney also leans hard into the idea that empathy can be a tool of manipulation. Sure, some people might use emotions to get their way, but blaming empathy itself for this is like blaming spoons for obesity.

If you enjoy books that take a completely normal and necessary human trait and spin it into a moral failing, then by all means, dive in. But if you’re looking for something that actually makes sense, you might want to read literally anything else.

[Jeremy]

I thought Rigney's articles on empathy would appear in his previous book (so see my review there for lots of hyperlinks), but it's this book that has more direct connections.

Nothing proves the importance of the book's existence more than the emotional resistance to it. One church even put up a sign saying "If empathy is a sin, sin boldly." Talk about missing the point.

Even Musk is talking about "suicidal empathy." A March 2025 podcast on NPR mentions Musk, Rogan, Rigney, Stuckey, and French.

Watch the Mohler interview here. Podcast interview here and Founders panel here.

Don't bother with the Mere Orthodoxy review—it's a stinker. Keep the air fresh by reading C. S. Lewis's "Priestesses in the [Australian] Church."

Here's a very good review at American Reformer, and here Rigeny responds to critiques by Alastair Roberts and Dani Treweek.

See here for Rigney's conversation with Hannah Anderson, and here for his conversation with Alastair Roberts.

[Jacob Hudgins · Rating 1 out of 5]

It’s been a while since I read a Christian book I disagreed with so profoundly.

Part of the problem here is definitional, as Rigney acknowledges. What exactly is empathy? He tries and tries to distinguish it from compassion and sympathy (both biblical terms), but the gist seems to be that we are TOO willing to enter into others’ emotional pain (or do so to too great an extent). We care too much. Throughout, Rigney advocates for “tethered compassion,” where our care is balanced by truth concerns. My issue here is: if I care so much about someone in sin that I adopt their perspective and think they’re right, is the problem in my caring? Isn’t this a failure of discernment, courage, knowledge? It is bizarre to me to conclude that empathy is bad because some people struggle discerning how to help those they care about.

Part of the problem is contextual. Rigney sees empathy as making Christians ripe for manipulation. He cites a number of situations in which “woke” actors (or the “liberal gaze” generally) make Christians feel so sorry for them that they swallow their moral objections and change their behavior. Again, I protest: does the fact that some people may manipulate us based on Christ-like traits mean those traits are sinful? Don’t many people manipulate us because we love them? Should we write “The Sin of Love” to correct this?

Part of the problem is political. Right/left divisions permeate the book and make it hard to take seriously as a theological work. There is no nuance to any political position (at one point he criticizes such nuance as performing beneath the liberal gaze). My thoughts return to NT times, when a variety of political/social views could have separated NT Christians. Paul does not write political tomes telling them how to stand up for their party, culture wars, etc…he teaches them how to get along despite differences. That’s not a function of American politics; that’s Christian living.

There was also an odd chapter about feminism in which Rigney argues that men are leaders in the church because they are less empathic (and that’s good) while we must resist female ways of dealing with church and political conflicts. I just found this strange. Many of the “feminine” qualities (such as nurturing and compassion) are found in Jesus and Paul; are they “sinners” too?

Christians live in a world where many evil ideologies abound and we must remain vigilant. We have unique opportunities to let our light shine and influence others to see the good God has done in us and through us, to his glory. But I do not believe that the problem is that Christians care too much.

[Ben Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am both surprised and not surprised by some of the flak this book is receiving. If it comes from a solid believer, my assumption is that said believer has not read the book cover to cover. Rigney clarifies his starting position repeatedly, and the closing chapters are a call to Biblical compassion and love towards neighbor when tragedy or suffering strikes.

The warnings brought to light are insightful. Rigney analyzes cultural trends that have gotten us to the societal situation we find ourselves in today, tracking origin points and highlighting where the Church often allows emotional manipulation into it's doors. Some convicting elements hit me unexpectedly as well, such as the section on the sinful temptation to "wield our pain" as a weapon against others...etc. Another solid work from Rigney here, though these chapters are just about all from different writing projects of his and drawn together.

[Blake Patterson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the “must-read” book of the year in my opinion. Before you jump to assumptions, Rigney does define and support empathy/compassion/pity. The empathy he is going after is the unbiblical-and-untethered-from-truth kind of empathy.

What I love: Rigney masterfully recognizes how people have used empathy and emotional maneuvers to manipulate people and leaders, especially in church settings. He brings C.S. Lewis and other sources to show how those who play the victim using empathy as their weapon have maintained an invincible trump card and have remained impervious to review or critical questions. I think his diagnosis of some major modern social problems are spot on. I also think Rigney’s definition and examples of biblical compassion is helpful. Godly compassion is patient, understanding, and rejoices in the truth (1 Corinthians 13:6).

Rigney’s book is playing the role of modern day prophet of calling out the use of the word empathy. He’s not primarily going into the book to define and defend a right working definition of empathy. Rather he’s trying to call attention of how its USE has been corrupted, in the church and in the wider culture. The book’s got some really sharp edges throughout but I think everyone should seriously weigh his arguments and his support behind it. I found him convincing.

Here are just some quick notes that Rigney addresses:
-using empathy as a means to manipulate people and win your case with invincibility. I.e. emotional blackmail (If I feel hurt by you, you are automatically guilty of sinning, even if no sin has been done)

-church leaders catering their positions or statements to remain in respectable standing with the “Progressive gaze” looking over their ministry.

-feminism and its negative impact on the church (Probably his most controversial but I agreed with his arguments. I believe men and women are not interchangeable and the world’s confusion in this area has led to a lot of problems.)

Summary of Rigney’s big argument:
Untethered empathy is when someone tries to help someone without what’s ultimately good and true in mind.
Tethered empathy (or compassion) is when someone tries to help someone with what’s ultimately good and true in mind.
His last chapter focuses on Jesus’s well-expressed compassion in John 11. He weeps for Mary and Martha, assures them of the truth, and graciously acts redemptively for their ultimate good and his glory.

Lastly, please exercise good and fair reading of his book before making a case against it. There’s been some reviews on GoodReads where it’s obvious that they didn’t even read what Rigney is trying to argue.

[Romina Flauers · Rating 1 out of 5]

I knew what i was going to get into as I was ready to hate read the 191 pages of this essay but god i underestimated Rigney.

I'm always perplexed by the way some Evangelicals and Catholics just turn a blind eye to some of the teachings of Jesus christ as "Love Thy Neighbor as you love yourself " or that in his last years he was prosecuted for getting close with the outcasts, the I'll and the prostitutes. Nah, they like more the old testament god or the violent god in the book of revelations...this book tells us that

In our recent era where "Empathy" is "casted as the virus of our generation" by one of the most powerful and influential persons in the world? It speaks volumes. And Rigney doesn't fall back, saying that empathy is just as going to drown with a drowning person.

Where is the humanity? Where is sheltering the homeless? Feeding the hungry? Clothing the naked? What happened to "Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. 5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. 6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. 7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy."

This book is the complete opposite, is just testing that you can be merciful but in your own personal terms, that if things don't fall on your own WASP sort of view...welp, tough luck

It's like some kind of religious "laissez faire, laissez passer" that just says in the end "Welp god made the world like that so we shall just accept it"

As Gandhi once said "I like your christ, but I don't like your christians"

A lot of self reflection to do

[Brian · Rating 5 out of 5]

The more of Joe Rigney’s stuff I read, the more I like him.
In a time where “believing the victim (whether or not their accusations are valid)” has become a cultural mantra, this books speaks sense and truth into the conversation.
It is possible to show Biblical compassion while not jumping into the quicksand with those who have found themselves there.

[Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

Joe Rigney is a brilliant and careful thinker. I would have fidgeted with a few phrases, especially in the early parts of the book when he tries to define his terms, but Rigney's main point stands: empathy (pity, compassion, sympathy), untethered from truth, destroys lives, souls, and communities.

[Caleb M. Powers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent.

[Kyle Grindberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Phenomenal

[Jonathan Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Run out and get this book right now! Don’t wait!! This book along with his previous one are MUST reads for all believers. Doubtful that empathy can be sinful? Get this book. Doubtful that empathy could ever even be bad? Get this book. Trying to understand our world? Get this book. Highest recommendation

[Anna Patterson]

Rigney is right on the nose with this. He puts words to my experience as a liberal arts student and as an RA at a state school. At the time, I was confused and a bit frightened by the angst that I was witnessing. Rigney brilliantly clarifies what I was witnessing and calls untethered empathy for what it is: manipulation. I especially encourage all my friends who are serving in the Salt Company to consider reading this book (despite the provocative title) because Rigney identifies college campuses as the Ground Zero for untethered empathy. It is good to know how this new cultural rhetoric is already flowing downstream into student life and church life.

[Danielle Bullen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very well done.

I was suspicious of this at first, because empathy is a very important piece of living as Christians, and we need to be able to have compassion on those around us, to mourn with those who mourn and weep with those who weep.

But, that is not the kind of empathy he is speaking against in this book. Just as justice can be perverted, hope can be misplaced, etc. the kind of empathy he is talking about is weaponized empathy as we have been seeing run rampant in the west today.

That kind is a sin.

That kind needs to be put to death. For it cares more for virtue signaling than for your neighbor and the Kingdom of God.

Worth the read.

[Parker Stoddard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Rigney’s analysis of empathy and how it has been distorted by culture and manipulated in church contexts is very helpful and needs to be read by the masses along with Leadership and Emotional Sabotage. The last chapter on biblical compassion was especially encouraging and is the clear way forward.

[Taylor Callen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good writer, bad book, but A+ marketing.

I really appreciated Rigney’s Leadership and Emotional Sabotage, so I picked this one up hoping for more but it wasn’t nearly as helpful.

To be fair, I think Rigney is a good writer, and he's definitely onto something when he critiques what he calls “untethered empathy.” His chapters “Weaponizing Pity,” “The Trouble With Empathy,” and “Under the Progressive Gaze” were wonderful. I was with him all the way until halfway through his chapter on feminism, and that’s where it took a weird turn that I still find hard to describe (even though the first half of the chapter was great). I think it's typically how I feel when listening to anyone who dives too deep into patriarchy: at first agreeing wholeheartedly and then suddenly feeling very uncomfortable when they take it a step too far after abandoning any biblical foundations and diving headfirst into cultural gender norms. In fact, it was at this point I realized how little Bible this book actually contained.

I think the reason that even many conservative, evangelical Christians struggle with what Rigney calls “the sin of empathy” is because these sins already have clearer and more biblical names. There were several times I thought to myself, "Isn't this just the sin of idolatry?" or "Isn't this just the sin of the fear of man?" The biggest example that stands out is that he talks about leaders who fail to do what's right because they're empathizing with the suffering of a victimized class. Wouldn't a more biblical term for this simply be injustice? ("You shall do no injustice in judgment. You shall not be partial to the poor or defer to the great, but in righteousness shall you judge your neighbor." Leviticus 19:15)

I have a sneaking suspicion that the reason Rigney prefers “the sin of empathy” versus “the sin of injustice” is because he'd rather own the libs by railing against their idol than even for a moment sound like a social justice warrior. My other theory is that "the sin of empathy" is great rage bait and was a great title to get people to buy this book (and I mean it worked on me, right? I don't think I would have read this book if I hadn't taken the bait).

I also need to say that I don’t judge anyone who liked this book. There are a lot of parts to like, but I think you’d be better off just reading Leadership and Emotional Sabotage.

[Ryan Ahlenius · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this is required reading for every pastor / counselor in our modern age. In spite of all the flack Rigney’s work is getting, I appreciated the sober-minded and fair explanation of when empathy becomes a sin. (And 3 cheers to compassion)

[ValeReads Kyriosity · Rating 5 out of 5]

This one is for a more general audience than Leadership and Emotional Sabotage was, so it was a better fit for me. Clearly distinguishes been right and wrong uses of empathy for anyone who bothers to read with basic comprehension. Alas, there are too many who refuse to do so.

I was surprised that Rosaria Butterfield dated her Foreword "Christmas." I thought she didn't celebrate?

[Jason Garwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding.

[Logan Thune · Rating 5 out of 5]

May this book provoke deep thought in many good-faith readers.

[Barry · Rating 3 out of 5]

Maybe 3.5 stars (between good and very good?)

My apologies to anyone who comes across this ersatz “review,” but I made some notes while reading this book thinking that I would later compose a legitimate review. Well, several months have passed and I still haven’t gotten around to organizing my thoughts into a coherent essay, and I find my motivation (and memory) has diminished over time. So for now I’m just going to save a quote from the book and tack on my notes. Who knows, maybe I’ll come back to this someday and take the time to massage my conflicted thoughts into something worth reading. But not tonight.

“So also compassion goes wrong through deficiency or excess. A deficiency of compassion is apathy, that callous refusal to identify with and share the pain and suffering of others. On the other hand, empathy is an excess of compassion, when our identification with and sharing of the emotions of others overwhelms our minds and sweeps us off our feet. Empathy loses sight of the ultimate good, both for ourselves and for the hurting.
“To use another analogy, if a person is drowning in a river with a strong current, apathy is unmoved and therefore refuses to help at all. Empathy is overwhelmed by the danger and dives in and is swept away by the current. True compassion tethers itself to the shore with a rope and swims to the drowning man with a life preserver.
“Both errors are related to the notion of tethering. Apathy stands on the shore, but refuses to connect with the sufferer. Empathy dives in to connect with the sufferer, but loses touch with the shore. The virtue of compassion or sympathy insists on being tethered to both.”
[p 14-15]

Notes:
Empathetic logic of “I’m hurt, therefore, you sinned”
Concept of the Progressive gaze
Has the church been operating under the conservative gaze until recently?
Mercy untethered from justice will lead to injustice

References CSL’s The Great Divorce:
So much insight on human psychology and wisdom
Pity can be weaponized for emotional blackmail

He contends that the title isn’t meant to be provocative, but rather is intended to highlight a potential paradox (like the book titled “When Helping Hurts”).
Perhaps too much ink is used discussing the semantical shades of variance between empathy, sympathy, compassion, and pity. I think this is interesting

[Luke Randolph · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding, and much needed in our current time. Rigney has become one of my favorite writers of this generation, I have loved "Leadership and Emotional Sabotage" and "Strangely Bright" and this one is right up there as well. Beautifully demonstrates the difference between godly compassion and sympathy and the type of untethered empathy that is sinful and destructive, clear on establishing definitions for his terms, all rooted in a blood-bought identity in Christ. He also does a great job clarifying what he's not saying, to avoid confusion. May we be a sober-minded, rooted, and tethered people who show the right kind of compassion to our neighbors to the glory of God.

[Hannah Latka · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐ 3.5 stars⭐
mostly excellent. much of what is said is needed in our world right now, but a few things did bother me.
there's still a part of me in the back of my mind, nagging me that there's something wrong about this teaching. I think what mostly bothers me is the propensity of humanity to over-correct. I think this response falls in that category. I don't know that I have specific examples, but I'll be thinking about this for a while.

another thing I don't like is the tendency of conservative Christian men to equate all womanly instincts to motherhood. the author talks about "feminine empathy" and I just think it's too rigid a category. men should also have empathy. If there is feminine empathy, then there must be masculine empathy and yet the author is silent on this.
not only that, he then goes on to talk about the negatives of such "feminine empathy." to his credit, he does always state the negatives happen when we untether empathy from truth; however, used in this context, the feminine additive sounds like an insult.
I also don't appreciate the need to herald motherly instincts as the reason women say/do/believe anything, as evidenced when talking about trans people. the author stated that women transfer their motherly instincts from actually family to empathy towards trans people. really weird take.
not only that, I'm a single woman, not by my own choosing. is my only option motherhood? in order to fulfill God's plan for me, must I seek a "mothering" role, even if that means I never have children?
it's just icky and a double standard. women are defined by these roles and men get to galavant as long as they have a good job and act like they care about their families, but my motherhood follows me everywhere. I don't mind the idea necessarily, but only if men are followed by fatherhood everywhere they go, and that's just not what's taught.

[David Noe · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’re tired of being confused why you look like the bad guy when you attempt to help those wallowing in the mud, this book is for you.

[Vicky · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is the “least” Christian thing I’ve ever read. If you are looking for a way to justify your hate, this book is for you.

[Matt Ecton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rigney diagnoses what I anecdotally see as a real and even pervasive problem. The most dangerous vices are the ones we think are actually virtues. And like most virtues, empathy is not incorruptible to sinners like us.

My impression is that the majority (though not all) of those who buck against the concept/title of this book have likely not actually read and engaged it fairly. I found him far more balanced than most of the critiques I’ve read have let on.

A caution (which I think Rigney strikes in Ch 6: In Praise of Compassion) would be to guard against callousness toward the real (or imagined) suffering of others. Biblical compassion moves toward sufferers while remaining emotionally anchored and sober minded.

[Ashlee Sesay · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Sin of Empathy is a bold and timely book for our generation. Rigney challenges the common assumption that empathy is always a virtue, instead showing how it can be twisted into a tool of manipulation. He doesn’t shy away from addressing difficult topics such as feminism, family dynamics, leadership, and transgenderism, all through the lens of biblical truth.

The idea that “empathy untethered is sin” was both surprising and eye-opening for me. At first, it was shocking to consider, but it makes sense. Like any emotion, when empathy is misused or elevated above truth, it can become destructive.

I’m grateful for Rigney’s honesty and willingness to speak hard truths. My heart needed this reminder, and I can already see ways this book is shaping my growth as a Christian.

[Sam Stotts · Rating 5 out of 5]

I hope that somewhere in the distant future some historian, trying to get a grasp on the 2020’s, will stumble upon Joe Rigney’s books.

So go buy a few copies. Read one, give one away, and bury one in your backyard time capsule.

And yet, this book is not just a broad cultural analysis. It’s wonderfully encouraging, pastoral, and faith building.

“I choose to believe.”

[Lois · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall I agreed with this book. It wasn’t horrible like I thought it would be. 😂 I probably wouldn’t have picked it up except a friend put it into my hands and told me I should read it. I’m glad now that I did. It gave me a lot to ponder and even though a couple of times I disagreed with the author I thought he did an excellent job of stating his points with truth but still graciousness. I had anticipated (mostly) truth without graciousness so was pleasantly surprised.
It was short too so that was nice. It was a good follow up to ABS’s book Toxic Empathy and Roasaria Butterfield’s book Five Lies of Our Anti Christian Age.

[Jenny Schroeder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recognizing the reality of the sin of empathy in my life has radically changed me. I was the person described in this book: “slow healers who are given to victim attitudes… linear, black and white formulations and unconditional with us or against us attitudes that cannot tolerate difference or dissent… a high degree of reactivity, a narrow range of responses, and of course, they are always serious - deadly serious… manipulating the compassion of the community while avoiding the responsibility for their own emotions and behavior” (33-34).

There was a time that I hated this language that Rigney used and I advocated for empathy as the highest Christian virtue and pursued it relentlessly. Rigney was one of my professors in college. I struggled hard and wrestled with this concept for a few years until I was left miserable, exhausted, and recognized that everything Rigney was saying about empathy was true. Reading this book felt like reading a biography of my life. It was done so well and I even had deeper and fuller insight into how it corrupts so many different parts of life. It got me a little emotional because of how much the Lord has grown my heart in giving me rest and peace and joy by giving up being the victim and the right to empathy. Highly recommend this book. It might change your life.

[Shawn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I appreciate Dr. Rigney’s pastoral approach, in his short book, as he explains the difference between empathy and compassion and the danger of untethered empathy. Chapter 6, In Praise of Compassion, is a great chapter.