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Dear America: A Breakup Letter
Breakups are hard. But sometimes they are the best option.
Writing a letter to his newly ex-country, award-winning teacher, author, poet, and activist Benjamin Gorman explains why he’s leaving America, and the reason is not what one would first guess. Packed with insights, sprinkled with humor, and delivered with courage and humility, this breakup letter feels like an opportunity to eavesdrop on the painful end of a relationship, offering an opportunity for others to emotionally prepare themselves for their own variations on the same experience. Clearly sincere in his hope that he’s wrong, Gorman gives us a chance to take steps in case the United States gets even half as bad as he predicts and offers some valuable tips about different ways to weather the coming storm.
Writing a letter to his newly ex-country, award-winning teacher, author, poet, and activist Benjamin Gorman explains why he’s leaving America, and the reason is not what one would first guess. Packed with insights, sprinkled with humor, and delivered with courage and humility, this breakup letter feels like an opportunity to eavesdrop on the painful end of a relationship, offering an opportunity for others to emotionally prepare themselves for their own variations on the same experience. Clearly sincere in his hope that he’s wrong, Gorman gives us a chance to take steps in case the United States gets even half as bad as he predicts and offers some valuable tips about different ways to weather the coming storm.
- GenresNonfiction
176 pages, Paperback
Published January 16, 2025
8 people are currently reading
12 people want to read
About the author
Benjamin Gorman
27 books130 followersBenjamin Gorman is a high school English teacher. He lives in Independence, Oregon with his partner, bibliophile and guillotine aficionado Chrystal. His first novel was The Sum of Our Gods, followed by Corporate High School, then The Digital Storm, then The Convention of Fiends, Book 1: Don’t Read This Book, and, most recently, The Convention of Fiends, Book 2: You Were Warned. He's also the author of two poetry collections, When She Leaves Me and This Uneven Universe. He believes in human beings and the power of their stories. He places his confidence in his students and the world they will choose to create if given the chance.
For a much more extensive biography, click here!
For a much more extensive biography, click here!
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
February 9, 2025
Gorman’s latest book is the long-form letter we should all strive to write (even if we don’t get a chance at publishing ours). It’s an honest, therapeutic look at the abusive relationship that is US citizenship and residency in our society of capitalistic, patriarchal white supremacy.
At once introspection, history, fury, love, bitterness, and chilling prediction of what the future of our nation will be under a hate-centered administration, Dear America challenges the reader (who feels at times as though they’re overhearing a deeply personal conversation) to model their patriotism by acknowledging the shame of our country’s history, the lasting and insidious impact, and demanding we do better. As an added bonus, in a truly remarkable defiance of American standards, many of the facts presented in this book are politely sourced directly in the text or as cheeky yet informative footnotes.
I know some potential readers might be thinking: Why do I need to listen to another opinion from a white male US citizen about his take on the way things should work? And to that I say—yep, that’s super fair. We’ve been hearing white dudes’ voices louder than all other identities combined since before this nation was founded. Still, this book offers an insightful and, importantly, self-aware perspective on how the white supremacist patriarchy that is our society can threaten and harm even those at the top. Here’s a member of the most privileged class in the US, and because of the way our country operates, he felt endangered enough to pack his bags and ship off overseas. That was enough for me to wonder, and my curiosity was enough for me to pick up this book and read it.
The letter isn’t perfect. It’s a clear gut reaction to very recent and raw events, and Gorman does not pull his punches. But, as another reader has pointed out, those punches are not always aimed in productive directions. Certain moments of vitriol left me uncomfortable—not because they challenged me to reflect on my own actions, which I’m willing to do even if it means I’ll realize I was in the wrong, but because they seemed intent on absolutely eviscerating populations who have been betrayed, abandoned, or otherwise actively harmed in ways very similar to the author himself. There is some hypocrisy in decrying those who chose to abandon the vote while writing a book on why one has chosen to abandon his country. And there is genuine ignorance and ego in assigning all self-proclaimed leftists the labels of inactive, performative, and “dangerously useless.”
Still, the history and perspective brought to Dear America make it worth the read.
Some favorite lines:
“You, America, have 406 years of history of breaking almost every promise you’ve ever made to anyone.”
“We want to believe something is shaped by people we recognize… but it really comes from common people pushing up, not powerful leaders pushing down.”
“[If] it’s not a rule that’s being enforced against everyone equally, it’s barely a rule at all. It’s a placeholder for maintaining a hierarchy of command.”
“You are choosing to destroy your own economy, America, and this may seem like something the world’s wealthiest country would know enough to avoid, but it’s actually completely in keeping with your character.”
“These are the bets made by very wealthy people who are often wrong but are right often enough to stay wealthy.”
“[Y]ou are less concerned about lifting everyone up than you are about making sure the distance between the haves and the have-nots stays safely insurmountable.”
At once introspection, history, fury, love, bitterness, and chilling prediction of what the future of our nation will be under a hate-centered administration, Dear America challenges the reader (who feels at times as though they’re overhearing a deeply personal conversation) to model their patriotism by acknowledging the shame of our country’s history, the lasting and insidious impact, and demanding we do better. As an added bonus, in a truly remarkable defiance of American standards, many of the facts presented in this book are politely sourced directly in the text or as cheeky yet informative footnotes.
I know some potential readers might be thinking: Why do I need to listen to another opinion from a white male US citizen about his take on the way things should work? And to that I say—yep, that’s super fair. We’ve been hearing white dudes’ voices louder than all other identities combined since before this nation was founded. Still, this book offers an insightful and, importantly, self-aware perspective on how the white supremacist patriarchy that is our society can threaten and harm even those at the top. Here’s a member of the most privileged class in the US, and because of the way our country operates, he felt endangered enough to pack his bags and ship off overseas. That was enough for me to wonder, and my curiosity was enough for me to pick up this book and read it.
The letter isn’t perfect. It’s a clear gut reaction to very recent and raw events, and Gorman does not pull his punches. But, as another reader has pointed out, those punches are not always aimed in productive directions. Certain moments of vitriol left me uncomfortable—not because they challenged me to reflect on my own actions, which I’m willing to do even if it means I’ll realize I was in the wrong, but because they seemed intent on absolutely eviscerating populations who have been betrayed, abandoned, or otherwise actively harmed in ways very similar to the author himself. There is some hypocrisy in decrying those who chose to abandon the vote while writing a book on why one has chosen to abandon his country. And there is genuine ignorance and ego in assigning all self-proclaimed leftists the labels of inactive, performative, and “dangerously useless.”
Still, the history and perspective brought to Dear America make it worth the read.
Some favorite lines:
“You, America, have 406 years of history of breaking almost every promise you’ve ever made to anyone.”
“We want to believe something is shaped by people we recognize… but it really comes from common people pushing up, not powerful leaders pushing down.”
“[If] it’s not a rule that’s being enforced against everyone equally, it’s barely a rule at all. It’s a placeholder for maintaining a hierarchy of command.”
“You are choosing to destroy your own economy, America, and this may seem like something the world’s wealthiest country would know enough to avoid, but it’s actually completely in keeping with your character.”
“These are the bets made by very wealthy people who are often wrong but are right often enough to stay wealthy.”
“[Y]ou are less concerned about lifting everyone up than you are about making sure the distance between the haves and the have-nots stays safely insurmountable.”
January 19, 2025
I read it to the end, and I think it is a very worthwhile read for those of us who are not yet at the point of breaking up, who are still trying to figure out how to live decently and constructively in this country that does so much harm.
I don’t agree with all Benjamin Gorman’s answers, but I appreciate the hard questions he raises. This open letter is not simply a denunciation of President Trump. It’s a long hard look at deeply destructive national patterns that go back to our founding and that are not limited to one individual or party, and at the dilemmas these present to citizens who want to subvert those patterns instead of feeding into them.
Gorman taught 14-year-olds for many years—a heroic endeavor in itself. His teaching skill comes across as he concisely and vividly lays out the history of fearmongering about immigrants, of overpolicing for profit, of the corporate mandate for profit at all costs and the devastating effect of granting personhood and unlimited political access to corporations with that purpose. It also shines through as he suggests constructive responses for concerned citizens and works through their possible consequences. (I was particularly delighted that he touched on tax resistance, though he doesn’t mention my own preferred method—have an income low enough to be nontaxable, either by mostly working pro bono or by donating a sufficient portion of your earnings to groups that are working to help people who are being either abandoned or actively harmed by the US government.)
But this is not just a lesson but also, quite genuinely, a breakup letter. We hear not only the teacher but the disappointed lover, struggling through anger and gratitude and bewilderment, alternating between bargaining and resignation, accusing, defending, pleading with the beloved to please, please be better. This gives the book a raw power which I found deeply moving.
It also makes it easier for me to accept the places where I disagree with Gorman. I agree with his description of the pernicious effect of faith mingled with lies and hypocrisy on our public life. But, unlike Gorman, I see the sincere practice of religion—including but not limited to my own faith, Christianity--as a powerful counterweight to nationalism, Christian dominionism, and all other forms of power-grabbing. The understanding that what we do to any other human being we also do to ourselves, and to the embodied God... that is fundamentally incompatible with any system that exploits, excludes, and abuses. However, as a poisonous form of Christian nationalism gains power I can’t blame Gorman or anyone else for taking the toxic reverse image for the real thing. This leaves us Christians with a lot of work to do. ... I also agree with Gorman’s call to confront hateful speech and behavior, even and especially in the people close to us and in settings where it could cost us something, but I am not sure that cutting off relationships with people whose behavior troubles us is the best answer. I have sometimes been changed for the better by loving remonstrance from people who still cared about and were willing to remain connected with me.
I wish that Gorman had felt safe to stay in this country and keep remonstrating and demonstrating a better way. But this book makes his reasons for leaving painfully clear and understandable. I am grateful for his parting gift, and I suggest that you read it too.
I don’t agree with all Benjamin Gorman’s answers, but I appreciate the hard questions he raises. This open letter is not simply a denunciation of President Trump. It’s a long hard look at deeply destructive national patterns that go back to our founding and that are not limited to one individual or party, and at the dilemmas these present to citizens who want to subvert those patterns instead of feeding into them.
Gorman taught 14-year-olds for many years—a heroic endeavor in itself. His teaching skill comes across as he concisely and vividly lays out the history of fearmongering about immigrants, of overpolicing for profit, of the corporate mandate for profit at all costs and the devastating effect of granting personhood and unlimited political access to corporations with that purpose. It also shines through as he suggests constructive responses for concerned citizens and works through their possible consequences. (I was particularly delighted that he touched on tax resistance, though he doesn’t mention my own preferred method—have an income low enough to be nontaxable, either by mostly working pro bono or by donating a sufficient portion of your earnings to groups that are working to help people who are being either abandoned or actively harmed by the US government.)
But this is not just a lesson but also, quite genuinely, a breakup letter. We hear not only the teacher but the disappointed lover, struggling through anger and gratitude and bewilderment, alternating between bargaining and resignation, accusing, defending, pleading with the beloved to please, please be better. This gives the book a raw power which I found deeply moving.
It also makes it easier for me to accept the places where I disagree with Gorman. I agree with his description of the pernicious effect of faith mingled with lies and hypocrisy on our public life. But, unlike Gorman, I see the sincere practice of religion—including but not limited to my own faith, Christianity--as a powerful counterweight to nationalism, Christian dominionism, and all other forms of power-grabbing. The understanding that what we do to any other human being we also do to ourselves, and to the embodied God... that is fundamentally incompatible with any system that exploits, excludes, and abuses. However, as a poisonous form of Christian nationalism gains power I can’t blame Gorman or anyone else for taking the toxic reverse image for the real thing. This leaves us Christians with a lot of work to do. ... I also agree with Gorman’s call to confront hateful speech and behavior, even and especially in the people close to us and in settings where it could cost us something, but I am not sure that cutting off relationships with people whose behavior troubles us is the best answer. I have sometimes been changed for the better by loving remonstrance from people who still cared about and were willing to remain connected with me.
I wish that Gorman had felt safe to stay in this country and keep remonstrating and demonstrating a better way. But this book makes his reasons for leaving painfully clear and understandable. I am grateful for his parting gift, and I suggest that you read it too.
February 16, 2025
I’ve read reviews of this book by others, and in no way am I as eloquent.
Dear America: A Breakup Letter, was written by a now former Oregon Educator and Union leader, someone that I greatly respect and admire for all the work he has done to help students, other educators, local writers, and just people in general.
This is a pretty heavy read for so many reasons, mostly because it the current political environment and the fact that no punches were pulled. This is a gut reaction to everything that is going on, the history that supported it happening, the people who think this is a good idea, and the bystanders who watched it happen.
Unlike other authors, Gorman has come back, read the reviews, and has owned that in some of his punches he was “punching sideways.” As I reader, I actually missed that part and would need to read it again to see that, as I am in the same place as a person that it feels Gorman was in writing this. Reading this and his reflection on his reviews so far, I have been doing a lot of reflections on my own thoughts and perceptions. Like all humans, I still have a lot to learn and will own up to my own lack of knowledge and understanding and strive to do better.
That said, the biggest take away that I have is that I am not alone in my frustration, fears, and seeing the patterns of history repeating itself. I am not alone in my disillusionment and need to separate my self for a time to be able to come back and be in a place where I can be a part of the change.
This book is not exactly a call to action, it is holing up the mirror to show that the Emperor has no clothes, and it is not a new development. He has been allowed to walk around for YEARS, with people being too damned polite to say anything, and now here we are – all laid bare. And we have to actually do something about it.
Dear America: A Breakup Letter, was written by a now former Oregon Educator and Union leader, someone that I greatly respect and admire for all the work he has done to help students, other educators, local writers, and just people in general.
This is a pretty heavy read for so many reasons, mostly because it the current political environment and the fact that no punches were pulled. This is a gut reaction to everything that is going on, the history that supported it happening, the people who think this is a good idea, and the bystanders who watched it happen.
Unlike other authors, Gorman has come back, read the reviews, and has owned that in some of his punches he was “punching sideways.” As I reader, I actually missed that part and would need to read it again to see that, as I am in the same place as a person that it feels Gorman was in writing this. Reading this and his reflection on his reviews so far, I have been doing a lot of reflections on my own thoughts and perceptions. Like all humans, I still have a lot to learn and will own up to my own lack of knowledge and understanding and strive to do better.
That said, the biggest take away that I have is that I am not alone in my frustration, fears, and seeing the patterns of history repeating itself. I am not alone in my disillusionment and need to separate my self for a time to be able to come back and be in a place where I can be a part of the change.
This book is not exactly a call to action, it is holing up the mirror to show that the Emperor has no clothes, and it is not a new development. He has been allowed to walk around for YEARS, with people being too damned polite to say anything, and now here we are – all laid bare. And we have to actually do something about it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 11, 2025
Every USA presidential election for the last couple decades has included lots of people saying 'If ____ wins, I'm moving out of the country'. Mostly it's all for shock value and they never do. But Mr. Gorman did. And yet it really wasn't about who won. It was about what this country chose to embrace and value and support and promote when they voted for him says about this country. And in this excellent, quick read Mr. Gorman really takes this nation to task about their history and their false self beliefs and their worsening decisions and what that really says about America and about Americans.
Do I agree with all of his perspectives and takes? No. But even in the portions where I feel like Mr. Gorman fixates on a smaller slice of something and chooses to act like it represents the majority, it's still worthwhile to read and reflect and contemplate about those things. And most of the time, he is right.
I was actually surprised at how positive and optimistic and encouraging the overall vibe of the book was. Mr. Gorman clearly has a very deep and profound love for the USA and it's people, but not enough to lie about it or put him or his loved ones in harm's way. And the fact that anyone should be facing that question at all should be a chilling smack of reality for all Americans - which was one of the well developed tenets of this quality book. It's a good read and a quick read and everyone should read it.
Do I agree with all of his perspectives and takes? No. But even in the portions where I feel like Mr. Gorman fixates on a smaller slice of something and chooses to act like it represents the majority, it's still worthwhile to read and reflect and contemplate about those things. And most of the time, he is right.
I was actually surprised at how positive and optimistic and encouraging the overall vibe of the book was. Mr. Gorman clearly has a very deep and profound love for the USA and it's people, but not enough to lie about it or put him or his loved ones in harm's way. And the fact that anyone should be facing that question at all should be a chilling smack of reality for all Americans - which was one of the well developed tenets of this quality book. It's a good read and a quick read and everyone should read it.
January 23, 2025
This is not a light or fun read, but neither is it dull. In this short volume, the author weaves together personal anecdotes and experiences with historical events and political philosophy to explain why he is breaking up with his country of origin.
Framing his decision to move to the other side of the world as a breakup struck me as poignant. A once loving relationship grew too toxic to bear. It is tough to see laid out in plain language how far the USA has fallen from its (never-met) ideals. Gorman does advise his ex-country on what to work on to get closer to its ideal self. He also offers encouragement to those who remain and guidance for those thinking about leaving.
Recommended for readers who are feeling disappointed with their nation.
I received an advance-reader ebook from the author.
Framing his decision to move to the other side of the world as a breakup struck me as poignant. A once loving relationship grew too toxic to bear. It is tough to see laid out in plain language how far the USA has fallen from its (never-met) ideals. Gorman does advise his ex-country on what to work on to get closer to its ideal self. He also offers encouragement to those who remain and guidance for those thinking about leaving.
Recommended for readers who are feeling disappointed with their nation.
I received an advance-reader ebook from the author.
January 21, 2025
I know Ben Gorman, so I can tell you he’s a 40-something braided-beard sci-fi writer/publisher/high school English teacher who just moved from Oregon to Europe. He published Dear America in the space between leaving the country and the second presidential inauguration of Donald Trump. It’s not just Trump that caused him to breakup with his native country, he insists. Trump is just a symptom of what he sees going wrong with the United States. In this book-length rant, Gorman doesn’t hold back at all. Blending anger, common sense, philosophy and the lessons he learned teaching 14-year-olds, he lets fly on politics, religion, race, gender, and more. It’s not an easy read, no matter what you believe. There are no scenes or stories, just a long missive on why he can’t live here anymore. It’s already a bestseller on Amazon. The title alone will grab many readers, but I hope millions of Americans, including those in charge, will read this book and take its lessons to heart.
December 4, 2025
Hey, I just finished reading your story and honestly the whole thing was pretty much playing in my head. The vibes you created are no joke, it felt ready to jump out of the pages.
I’m a commission artist, and I do comics, manga, and webtoons for authors who want to see their work visualized. And no exaggeration, your story has the potential to be a hit as a webtoon.
No pressure, but if you wanna see your words turn into visuals, I would be delighted to do it. Hit me up on Discord (eve_verse) to discuss further.
Regards,
Evelyn
I’m a commission artist, and I do comics, manga, and webtoons for authors who want to see their work visualized. And no exaggeration, your story has the potential to be a hit as a webtoon.
No pressure, but if you wanna see your words turn into visuals, I would be delighted to do it. Hit me up on Discord (eve_verse) to discuss further.
Regards,
Evelyn
January 23, 2025
I read this book to the end and found it to be thoughtful and thought provoking. It is an unflinching look at the America that we try to keep hidden behind our good guy face. I agree with many of the assessments made and conclusions drawn. While I’m not ready to make changes on the scale he has I can no fault in his reasoning behind them. Highly recommend reading this book
February 2, 2025
A well-written, intimate look at how and why an American broke up with America. I read it end-to-end in just over a day. This heart-breaking and pragmatic decision by a father to give up his career to move his family to safety before the Inauguration should be a wake up call to those of us who decided to wait it out. All the fears are coming true in real time.
February 10, 2026
I read it to the end, and I wish I had read it sooner. I don’t know why I have tears as I’m writing this, but man, this book hit deep. I felt seen, called out, guided, enlightened, and empowered by Benjamin Gordon’s letter. The time is now. Thank you Benjamin Gordon. Keep speaking and writing, you have a supporter in this Jiminy Cricket.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews