What do you think?
Rate this book
Accidental Love #5
Not Catching Love
Xander
There’s something seriously wrong with me.
For once, I’m not talking about the health anxiety that randomly pops up and wreaks havoc on my life. I'm talking about, well, everything else.
All my roommates have found someone to love them, and it hurts to see the guys who used to have me at the center of their worlds pair off and grow up, especially when it’s a reminder of everything wrong with me. I’ve always had an issue with relationships. With forming a connection with people outside of Seven, but this is more.
Because I want to find my someone.
Except the one person my brain has latched onto is the one person I can never have. The one person who’s there to help me when my panic attacks get too much.
Nurse Derek.
Derek
I should never have offered to treat Xander Moore.
And now here I am years later, my life on hold, while I wait day in and day out for the call that Xander needs me. It always comes, and I always answer, but I’m starting to dread those visits.
Lately, I’m looking at Xander in a way a medical professional should never look at their patient.
When Xander starts volunteering at the same nursing home that I do, I get to see a new side of him. The artistic, charismatic side that draws the residents in. I get glimpses of a man who’s so much more than his anxiety, and it does nothing to help my feelings for him.
When lines begin to blur, I have no choice but to stop treating him. That at least allows us to be friends. The only problem is, being friends isn’t enough for either of us.
It’s wrong, unethical, and unprofessional, but my heart won’t listen. It’s decided on Xander, and it doesn’t want to wait. Neither does Xander.
But if I want to keep my job, I have to resist.
I just wish he didn’t make that so difficult.
There’s something seriously wrong with me.
For once, I’m not talking about the health anxiety that randomly pops up and wreaks havoc on my life. I'm talking about, well, everything else.
All my roommates have found someone to love them, and it hurts to see the guys who used to have me at the center of their worlds pair off and grow up, especially when it’s a reminder of everything wrong with me. I’ve always had an issue with relationships. With forming a connection with people outside of Seven, but this is more.
Because I want to find my someone.
Except the one person my brain has latched onto is the one person I can never have. The one person who’s there to help me when my panic attacks get too much.
Nurse Derek.
Derek
I should never have offered to treat Xander Moore.
And now here I am years later, my life on hold, while I wait day in and day out for the call that Xander needs me. It always comes, and I always answer, but I’m starting to dread those visits.
Lately, I’m looking at Xander in a way a medical professional should never look at their patient.
When Xander starts volunteering at the same nursing home that I do, I get to see a new side of him. The artistic, charismatic side that draws the residents in. I get glimpses of a man who’s so much more than his anxiety, and it does nothing to help my feelings for him.
When lines begin to blur, I have no choice but to stop treating him. That at least allows us to be friends. The only problem is, being friends isn’t enough for either of us.
It’s wrong, unethical, and unprofessional, but my heart won’t listen. It’s decided on Xander, and it doesn’t want to wait. Neither does Xander.
But if I want to keep my job, I have to resist.
I just wish he didn’t make that so difficult.
304 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 30, 2025
612 people are currently reading
2018 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 694 reviews
March 24, 2025
Just for the record, I'm still on a break from this author's books. I cave in occasionally, if something sounds interesting and intriguing, and this one did. I was drawn to it because of the mental health representation and the gorgeous cover. I mean, just look at it!
Too bad I failed to connect to the story or the characters. The first thing that didn't work for me is that the story starts at the point when Derek and Xander are already attracted to each other and trying to fight it or whatever. We know that Derek has been treating him for years, but we don't see how their relationship as a nurse/patient developed. I didn't see that connection between them, I was just told. So what we get are some generic dialogues and the constant 'we can't', even though they do. In the end the obstacles didn't matter at all. Not impressed.
I usually enjoy Teddy Hamilton's narration, but it sounded too 'dude-bro' for the characters in this story.
Too bad I failed to connect to the story or the characters. The first thing that didn't work for me is that the story starts at the point when Derek and Xander are already attracted to each other and trying to fight it or whatever. We know that Derek has been treating him for years, but we don't see how their relationship as a nurse/patient developed. I didn't see that connection between them, I was just told. So what we get are some generic dialogues and the constant 'we can't', even though they do. In the end the obstacles didn't matter at all. Not impressed.
I usually enjoy Teddy Hamilton's narration, but it sounded too 'dude-bro' for the characters in this story.
October 22, 2024
I was very lucky to beta read an extremely early arc of this in my new role as Saxon’s “Feral Romance Sensitivity Reader”. It’s incredibly official, I’ll be updating my LinkedIn shortly.
Xander was always my fave Bertha boy, and I loved this with my whole fucking chest.
Saxon’s DMs were literally me just screaming, sending screenshots of lines that made me laugh or hit me in the heart, and updates to my cry count (four, thanks very much).
You’re in for a treat with this one xx
5⭐️ 2🌶️
Xander was always my fave Bertha boy, and I loved this with my whole fucking chest.
Saxon’s DMs were literally me just screaming, sending screenshots of lines that made me laugh or hit me in the heart, and updates to my cry count (four, thanks very much).
You’re in for a treat with this one xx
5⭐️ 2🌶️
January 1, 2025
4.5
I don't even know where to start!! I'm going to go with the epilogue of dreams though. I adore how Derek is basically the glue that brings all the characters together. I love how they're all interwoven in each others lives, and the twin houses just made me teary eyed because it had to happen.
Xander is definitely a marmite character who has grated on me on occasion in previous books, but getting to know him has been so good. Being inside his mind made me understand him so much more, and it broke my heart that his self esteem and self worth were so low. It felt rewarding to be on his journey with him and to see him finding ways to accept himself and to accept that he is wanted and loved was heartwarming.
Derek's struggles with ethics, plus figuring out how to be a boyfriend and not a carer were interesting to read. I really liked that the whole book wasn't just about Xander's journey of finding himself, but was also about Derek rediscovering who he is as an individual too.
The way they take the relationship so slowly to really build a solid and healthy foundation was refreshing to see also. I genuinely wouldn't have minded at all if there were zero sex scenes too because the emotional connections are always more appealing to me.
So sad to be leaving the Bertha Boys behind now, but I love where they've all ended up and I've had so much fun reading this series.
*****
I received an ARC of this book from Foreword PR, and this is my honest review
I don't even know where to start!! I'm going to go with the epilogue of dreams though. I adore how Derek is basically the glue that brings all the characters together. I love how they're all interwoven in each others lives, and the twin houses just made me teary eyed because it had to happen.
Xander is definitely a marmite character who has grated on me on occasion in previous books, but getting to know him has been so good. Being inside his mind made me understand him so much more, and it broke my heart that his self esteem and self worth were so low. It felt rewarding to be on his journey with him and to see him finding ways to accept himself and to accept that he is wanted and loved was heartwarming.
Derek's struggles with ethics, plus figuring out how to be a boyfriend and not a carer were interesting to read. I really liked that the whole book wasn't just about Xander's journey of finding himself, but was also about Derek rediscovering who he is as an individual too.
The way they take the relationship so slowly to really build a solid and healthy foundation was refreshing to see also. I genuinely wouldn't have minded at all if there were zero sex scenes too because the emotional connections are always more appealing to me.
So sad to be leaving the Bertha Boys behind now, but I love where they've all ended up and I've had so much fun reading this series.
*****
I received an ARC of this book from Foreword PR, and this is my honest review
January 26, 2025
This is how you write a story about a guy with serious mental health issues and make his recovery believable and without the aid of magic dick.
Xander has been breaking my heart with his vulnerability and his very real health scares throughout the Accidental Love series and finally it's time for him to find his own happy ending and oh boy, does Saxon make the reader work for it.
Rightly so, this narrative tackles a serious subject, that of crippling anxiety which manifests into catastrophising and panic attacks, fears of death and abandonment, as well as an overwhelming need to draw attention to himself so he doesn't feel invisible.
The poor guy has been through a lot in his life, his best friend Seven is the only person he's had that he's been 100% able to rely on, but Xander also worries that won't last forever, so he's sure that he'll eventually end up alone and unloved.
Derek, the nurse at the local pharmacy, has constantly put himself there for Xander when he's brought in suffering from a panic attack, but he knows the feelings he has for the younger man aren't something he can act upon.
So, without giving away anything, this book will take you through the mill watching how Xander both struggles with his own situation, but also how much Derek is having to keep himself professional while trying to get his friends to see that they are continually enabling him.
Derek knows Xander needs professional help, he also understands why Xander is frightened to seek it out, and Saxon delivers in every area when it comes to showing the reader just how big the stakes are for this couple.
The growth Xander goes through is truly beautiful to watch as he realises that - for his own sake and no-one else - he needs to take steps to address his anxiety issues. Of course everyone is there to support him, but the hard work he puts in himself.
It's a testament to Saxon's abilities as a writer that you never feel dragged down or overwhelmed by Xander's traumas, this isn't drama created simply to add tension points, it's a genuine life being slowly pulled together to provide a future.
We get to see inside both men's heads and the struggles Derek also goes through as he tries to remain professional while fighting the growing feelings he has for Xander, his compromise of friendship gives this book a very definite slow burn narrative, but it's filled with all the pining and UST you'd need.
So, while this book draws to a close the life of the Bertha boys, it's a positive note to end on, because it brings a valid and believable ending which sees all of them happily settled down with their life partners and making a brighter future happen.
#ARC kindly received from the author via Foreword PR, I am voluntarily leaving a review
Xander has been breaking my heart with his vulnerability and his very real health scares throughout the Accidental Love series and finally it's time for him to find his own happy ending and oh boy, does Saxon make the reader work for it.
Rightly so, this narrative tackles a serious subject, that of crippling anxiety which manifests into catastrophising and panic attacks, fears of death and abandonment, as well as an overwhelming need to draw attention to himself so he doesn't feel invisible.
The poor guy has been through a lot in his life, his best friend Seven is the only person he's had that he's been 100% able to rely on, but Xander also worries that won't last forever, so he's sure that he'll eventually end up alone and unloved.
Derek, the nurse at the local pharmacy, has constantly put himself there for Xander when he's brought in suffering from a panic attack, but he knows the feelings he has for the younger man aren't something he can act upon.
So, without giving away anything, this book will take you through the mill watching how Xander both struggles with his own situation, but also how much Derek is having to keep himself professional while trying to get his friends to see that they are continually enabling him.
Derek knows Xander needs professional help, he also understands why Xander is frightened to seek it out, and Saxon delivers in every area when it comes to showing the reader just how big the stakes are for this couple.
The growth Xander goes through is truly beautiful to watch as he realises that - for his own sake and no-one else - he needs to take steps to address his anxiety issues. Of course everyone is there to support him, but the hard work he puts in himself.
It's a testament to Saxon's abilities as a writer that you never feel dragged down or overwhelmed by Xander's traumas, this isn't drama created simply to add tension points, it's a genuine life being slowly pulled together to provide a future.
We get to see inside both men's heads and the struggles Derek also goes through as he tries to remain professional while fighting the growing feelings he has for Xander, his compromise of friendship gives this book a very definite slow burn narrative, but it's filled with all the pining and UST you'd need.
So, while this book draws to a close the life of the Bertha boys, it's a positive note to end on, because it brings a valid and believable ending which sees all of them happily settled down with their life partners and making a brighter future happen.
#ARC kindly received from the author via Foreword PR, I am voluntarily leaving a review
January 19, 2025
Not Catching Love is book 5 in the Accidental Love series, with each book featuring a different roommate living in the Big Bertha house. Book 5 ix Xander and Derek's book. Xander is struggling with a number of undiagnosed, unmedicated and untreated conditions that leave him anxious, with frequent panic attacks and constant self doubt/hatred. He's had a rough childhood and has major abandonment issues. When his favourite hunky nurse Derek finally begs him to get help, Xander has to decide if the possibility of a future together is worth fighting with his own brain chemistry.
I really appreciated the thoughtful way Saxon researched and wrote Xander's story. I wasn't sure I'd like his book because I haven't always liked him throughout the first 4 books in the series. This is an unconventional love story that perfectly suits the unconventional men in the series. Overall I felt it was quite good and an emotional read. However, I did very much feel as though it was primarily Xander's story. Most of the book was focussed on him working to reach a place where he was mentally healthier, and could be a decent partner to Derek. His character development was interesting and quite remarkable. Derek was somewhat less interesting because his major development was less dramatic - setting boundaries for Xander and then having trouble following them himself.
Not Catching Love is a great example of a writer showing, not telling. We see snippets of Xander's character development but we don't need to see each therapy appointment or know every detail (keeping things vague here to avoid spoilers). I think that Saxon did a fabulous job delivering a story that was enjoyable and satisfying to read, with characters I didn't love making choices I didn't always agree with. To me, that's the measure of a good author. Xander's story needed to be told and I'm glad I got to read it.
Rating: 3.75 stars
Angst: 4/5
Steam: 2/5
I received an advance copy of this book and this is my honest review.
“I’ve been waiting my whole life for you. Just you. I’m not going anywhere.”
I really appreciated the thoughtful way Saxon researched and wrote Xander's story. I wasn't sure I'd like his book because I haven't always liked him throughout the first 4 books in the series. This is an unconventional love story that perfectly suits the unconventional men in the series. Overall I felt it was quite good and an emotional read. However, I did very much feel as though it was primarily Xander's story. Most of the book was focussed on him working to reach a place where he was mentally healthier, and could be a decent partner to Derek. His character development was interesting and quite remarkable. Derek was somewhat less interesting because his major development was less dramatic - setting boundaries for Xander and then having trouble following them himself.
Not Catching Love is a great example of a writer showing, not telling. We see snippets of Xander's character development but we don't need to see each therapy appointment or know every detail (keeping things vague here to avoid spoilers). I think that Saxon did a fabulous job delivering a story that was enjoyable and satisfying to read, with characters I didn't love making choices I didn't always agree with. To me, that's the measure of a good author. Xander's story needed to be told and I'm glad I got to read it.
Rating: 3.75 stars
Angst: 4/5
Steam: 2/5
I received an advance copy of this book and this is my honest review.
February 8, 2025
saxon should’ve added “time skips” in the trigger warnings because damn did they trigger me
also all the talk “we can’t be together” for NOTHING. pissed me off a lot
also all the talk “we can’t be together” for NOTHING. pissed me off a lot
Want to read
October 29, 2024XANDER AND DEREK
February 5, 2025
5/5 - WHAT A FINALE! Derek and Xander’s story was worth the wait. It was so well done and the mental health rep was incredible. I really applaud Saxon James for how she went into new territory with this series. Loved getting the satisfying conclusion with the Bertha boys and Aggy. This series has a special place in my heart.
December 29, 2024
Rtc when I'm off this damn flight
January 15, 2025
Omg this was so good I devoured it! I was looking forward to Xander’s story ever since I started this series and Saxon James did not disappoint! My bby Xander went through so much in his life and how he felt about himself throughout this book was so heartbreaking and real and handled with amazing care. He was such a broken bby and so vulnerable and just an endearing character that you wanted to hug and keep safe 🥹
And Derek? He was so swoony I cry 😭 He was so perfect for Xander in that he was careful and caring without being a pushover. I actually loved that he didn’t treat Xander with kid gloves or just tell him everything he wanted to hear and do everything he wanted to do. He was just a steady, strong presence that Xander needed without being a doormat. I also loved how much he cared about having a good relationship with Seven and Molly and all of Xander’s brothers.
I love this series so much and I’m sad to see it end but I loved how it ended with these two, they fit together so well and after all the hurt and pining and edging it was so satisfying and worth it 🥹😍
And Derek? He was so swoony I cry 😭 He was so perfect for Xander in that he was careful and caring without being a pushover. I actually loved that he didn’t treat Xander with kid gloves or just tell him everything he wanted to hear and do everything he wanted to do. He was just a steady, strong presence that Xander needed without being a doormat. I also loved how much he cared about having a good relationship with Seven and Molly and all of Xander’s brothers.
I love this series so much and I’m sad to see it end but I loved how it ended with these two, they fit together so well and after all the hurt and pining and edging it was so satisfying and worth it 🥹😍
December 28, 2024
4.5 ⭐️
As someone who suffers from terrible anxiety—some of it health related (just not on Xander’s level)—I have always felt like Z and I were kindred spirits, and just knew his story would hit me in the feels.
I absolutely adore him and have loved him from the moment his character popped up in Christian’s book, and as sad as I am to see this series wrap up, I loved every minute of his story.
He and Seven will forever be tied as my favorite Bertha boys, and I am so happy that both of them got the happy endings they deserved after everything they’ve been through.
Derek could not have been a more perfect partner for Xander, and I loved the pacing of their friendship turned romance. He constantly pushed for Xander to work and do better on himself, and never once tried getting in the way of what Z has with Seven and Molly.
& oh my gosh! That epilogue was perfect, and I could not want for more!
As someone who suffers from terrible anxiety—some of it health related (just not on Xander’s level)—I have always felt like Z and I were kindred spirits, and just knew his story would hit me in the feels.
I absolutely adore him and have loved him from the moment his character popped up in Christian’s book, and as sad as I am to see this series wrap up, I loved every minute of his story.
He and Seven will forever be tied as my favorite Bertha boys, and I am so happy that both of them got the happy endings they deserved after everything they’ve been through.
Derek could not have been a more perfect partner for Xander, and I loved the pacing of their friendship turned romance. He constantly pushed for Xander to work and do better on himself, and never once tried getting in the way of what Z has with Seven and Molly.
& oh my gosh! That epilogue was perfect, and I could not want for more!
February 15, 2025
Not Catching Love by Saxon James marks the final installment of the Accidental Love series, focusing on Xander and Derek’s unconventional love story. While many readers celebrated the conclusion, I found myself disappointed, unable to fully connect with the characters or their relationship.
Xander’s journey of self-discovery and mental health challenges is an important storyline, but the execution left me feeling disconnected. His anxiety and struggles are depicted with care, yet the focus on his personal growth seemed to overshadow the romantic relationship. Derek, while kind and supportive, lacked depth, and their chemistry felt forced rather than organic. The transition from caregiver to partner, while an interesting dynamic, came across as awkward and lacked authenticity.
Additionally, the sudden transformation of Xander’s appearance at the end felt jarring and out of place, making the resolution feel rushed and incomplete. It didn’t align with the character I had come to know throughout the series, leaving me questioning the motivations behind such a significant change.
While the mental health representation is commendable and the writing is thoughtful, the emotional connection between Xander and Derek didn’t resonate with me. For a series finale, it didn’t deliver the satisfying conclusion I hoped for, and I finished the book feeling more let down than fulfilled.
I had the pleasure of receiving an ARC of Not Catching Love by Saxon James, and I am voluntarily leaving this review. :)
Xander’s journey of self-discovery and mental health challenges is an important storyline, but the execution left me feeling disconnected. His anxiety and struggles are depicted with care, yet the focus on his personal growth seemed to overshadow the romantic relationship. Derek, while kind and supportive, lacked depth, and their chemistry felt forced rather than organic. The transition from caregiver to partner, while an interesting dynamic, came across as awkward and lacked authenticity.
Additionally, the sudden transformation of Xander’s appearance at the end felt jarring and out of place, making the resolution feel rushed and incomplete. It didn’t align with the character I had come to know throughout the series, leaving me questioning the motivations behind such a significant change.
While the mental health representation is commendable and the writing is thoughtful, the emotional connection between Xander and Derek didn’t resonate with me. For a series finale, it didn’t deliver the satisfying conclusion I hoped for, and I finished the book feeling more let down than fulfilled.
I had the pleasure of receiving an ARC of Not Catching Love by Saxon James, and I am voluntarily leaving this review. :)
December 30, 2024
I can’t believe it’s finally here! I’ve been dying for this final book in the Accidental Love series, ever since meeting Xander in book one. It was so worth the wait. Definitely my favorite of the series, and the ending was so unbelievably sweet, I was crying happy tears. Xander and Derek were everything I needed and more. I’m so sad that this series is ending, but what a way to go out!
February 11, 2025
Tropes: forbidden relationship, patient/carer, found family
Feels: 3/5
Steam*: 2/5
Kinks: n/a
Angst: medium
HEA: yes
Pairing: MM
Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: past child abuse/neglect/abandonment, mental health issues, panic attacks, anxiety, body dysmorphia, self-esteem issues, ethics issues of dating a former patient
Cheating between MCs: No
Any cheating: No
Other person drama: Xander was a virgin because he's demisexual and has Hang-Ups. Over the years he's tried to start something with other guys, but he's never been able to go through with it. Derek presumably had relationships but usually casual ones and hookups over the years while he knew Xander. It sounds like he started to have a dry spell with hookups in the months before the book started, because he's started to feel more for Xander. There was one scene early on where Derek almost hooked up with another guy, and Xander interrupted jealously. But other than that, there was no other person drama, as soon as they talked about having a crush on each other, neither was with anyone else.
3.75 stars
Xander is 28, gay. He grew up in foster care, jumping between homes very frequently. Because of his childhood traumas, he suffers from complex mental health issues and he has a reluctance to do therapy and medication because of his experiences with those things in his childhood. He has debilitating panic attacks and catastrophizing hypochondria. He worries that he or the people he cares about are going to drop dead of various ailments that his head irrationally conjures up. He's extraordinarily close to Seven, someone he met in foster care, who's cared for him and been there for him ever since. And he's also really close to Seven's boyfriend Molly and the roommates they live with. For the last couple of years, he's been going to a pharmacy when he has his attacks and he sees a nurse named Derek there. Derek is able to calm him down, Derek is one of the only people that Xander trusts. Xander has developed a crush on him over the years.
Derek is 35, gay. He's always had a soft spot for Xander. He cares about the spunky cute man who struggles and suffers so much. His care has grown over time and he's developed romantic feelings towards Xander. He has planned his life around Xander, because he doesn't want to be too far away from the building Xander comes to, because at any moment Xander could need him and Derek is basically the only person who can calm him down if Seven and Xander's roommates can't calm him down. He passes up job and personal opportunities and doesn't pursue relationships. Derek is frustrated because he feels like Xander isn't trying to get better, because he won't take medicine or go to therapy. Derek wishes that they didn't have this patient/carer relationship, that they had met some other way so that they could be together. With Derek's license, it's recommended that you not have a relationship with a former patient unless it's been like 2 years or more since they were your patient. Derek has a disapproving colleague named Susan who would definitely report him if she found out he got into a relationship with Xander, cuz she's disapproved of Xander and Derek's professional relationship over the years.
Xander and Derek at some point finally talk and Derek quits being his carer because he can't do it anymore given how he feels, and he feels like Xander needs the push so that he can try other treatments and actually get better. And a side benefit is once they stop being patient/carer the clock starts on enough time passing that he could potentially start a romantic relationship with Xander. And this goes the next year and a half of their lives as they start interacting outside of the pharmacy and developing a friendship and orbiting around each other, both wanting to be together but knowing that they really can't... Yet.
This was an okay book, it had a lot of likable characters and I had a lot of fondness towards this series. But I did struggle a bit with this book
What I liked about this book:
- I love a gremlin character, someone prickly, with attitude, a feral raccoon like Xander was called. There's just something about a prickly character
- I loved the found family dynamic that spun across this series. The relationships between Aggy, and all of Bertha's boys was really special. They really loved and supported each other and everyone had their quirks, they were endearing.
- I appreciated that there was so little other man drama, they both weren't with others during the course of the book, even though they had long during the course of the book, even though they had long periods apart. They were both committed to being together, so it was low angst from that perspective
- The ending was nice, seeing people move into the next phases of their lives and settle down was a nice closure. I was happy that Seven and Xander got to stay so close.
What I didn't like:
- This is a me thing, but I really struggle with power imbalances in relationships and the ethics issues of them. So it was hard for me to fully support this couple and feel good about their romance.
- I didn't feel good about the first 2 times when Derek hooked up with Xander even though it hadn't been 2 years yet. I know that Derek had blue balls and it had been quite a while that he'd been developing feelings for Xander. And it's heavily implied he'd been celibate for quite a while now. But I don't like how he wants to play it by the book for the sake of his career, yet when he gets horny, he will make exceptions, and he'll make clear to Xander that it's a one-time only thing. That comes across as self-serving. If the line is important enough to you morally and for your career sake, don't cross it. If you're going to cross it, don't just cross it to get your rocks off and then try to claim the high ground later.
- I had a hard time seeing what the characters loved about each other. We didn't really see them fall in love, they already had feelings before the book began. I wish there had been more clear things about each other that appealed to them about each other. I still felt like Xander loved Derek because he was a comfort to him and not so much for himself. And what did Derek love about Xander other than that he was spunky, attractive, and vulnerable/needed him? They went through so much in order to be together, denying themselves, staying apart for so long, I needed to see it be more of an epic love connection.
- And a minor complaint, I didn't love how they texted each other during their times apart. It seems like a token superficial marker of time that they just texted about how much time had passed each month they were apart. They didn't talk about anything of real depth, nothing that really helped their connection form even though they were separated.
Some notable moments:
"I’ve never seen Derek out of his uniform that he wears at the pharmacy, but I’m seeing a lot of him now. He’s got a chunky belly and a solid chest sprinkled with dark hair. And big arms. He’s not overly big like Seven, but he’s a nice big. A cuddly big. I’m dying to know what his hugs are like."
"“Who would abandon a sweet boy like you?” Genevieve asks. “Assholes.” “Well, at least you inherited something from them,” Kevin says. I cringe at the comment, but Xander doesn’t look bothered. “Careful, or I’ll unplug your oxygen. Don’t test me.” “You would too.” Kevin glances over his shoulder, and I try to follow his line of sight. “Aggy, where did you find this feral raccoon?” “Rooting around in my trash.” “You’re supposed to love me,” Xander shoots back at her. “I do, sweet one. But it doesn’t mean you’re not a feral raccoon.”"
I love how protective Xander, Molly and Seven are of each other. "“How would you feel if Molly was sad?” “Angry. I’d want to fix it.” “Because you care about him.” Xander nods. “Sometimes more than Seven.” That’s surprising. “I thought Seven was everything to you.” “He is. But Seven can look after himself. Molly’s … precious. Too breakable.”"
*FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink.
**Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers.
Feels: 3/5
Steam*: 2/5
Kinks: n/a
Angst: medium
HEA: yes
Pairing: MM
Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: past child abuse/neglect/abandonment, mental health issues, panic attacks, anxiety, body dysmorphia, self-esteem issues, ethics issues of dating a former patient
Cheating between MCs: No
Any cheating: No
Other person drama: Xander was a virgin because he's demisexual and has Hang-Ups. Over the years he's tried to start something with other guys, but he's never been able to go through with it. Derek presumably had relationships but usually casual ones and hookups over the years while he knew Xander. It sounds like he started to have a dry spell with hookups in the months before the book started, because he's started to feel more for Xander. There was one scene early on where Derek almost hooked up with another guy, and Xander interrupted jealously. But other than that, there was no other person drama, as soon as they talked about having a crush on each other, neither was with anyone else.
3.75 stars
Xander is 28, gay. He grew up in foster care, jumping between homes very frequently. Because of his childhood traumas, he suffers from complex mental health issues and he has a reluctance to do therapy and medication because of his experiences with those things in his childhood. He has debilitating panic attacks and catastrophizing hypochondria. He worries that he or the people he cares about are going to drop dead of various ailments that his head irrationally conjures up. He's extraordinarily close to Seven, someone he met in foster care, who's cared for him and been there for him ever since. And he's also really close to Seven's boyfriend Molly and the roommates they live with. For the last couple of years, he's been going to a pharmacy when he has his attacks and he sees a nurse named Derek there. Derek is able to calm him down, Derek is one of the only people that Xander trusts. Xander has developed a crush on him over the years.
Derek is 35, gay. He's always had a soft spot for Xander. He cares about the spunky cute man who struggles and suffers so much. His care has grown over time and he's developed romantic feelings towards Xander. He has planned his life around Xander, because he doesn't want to be too far away from the building Xander comes to, because at any moment Xander could need him and Derek is basically the only person who can calm him down if Seven and Xander's roommates can't calm him down. He passes up job and personal opportunities and doesn't pursue relationships. Derek is frustrated because he feels like Xander isn't trying to get better, because he won't take medicine or go to therapy. Derek wishes that they didn't have this patient/carer relationship, that they had met some other way so that they could be together. With Derek's license, it's recommended that you not have a relationship with a former patient unless it's been like 2 years or more since they were your patient. Derek has a disapproving colleague named Susan who would definitely report him if she found out he got into a relationship with Xander, cuz she's disapproved of Xander and Derek's professional relationship over the years.
Xander and Derek at some point finally talk and Derek quits being his carer because he can't do it anymore given how he feels, and he feels like Xander needs the push so that he can try other treatments and actually get better. And a side benefit is once they stop being patient/carer the clock starts on enough time passing that he could potentially start a romantic relationship with Xander. And this goes the next year and a half of their lives as they start interacting outside of the pharmacy and developing a friendship and orbiting around each other, both wanting to be together but knowing that they really can't... Yet.
This was an okay book, it had a lot of likable characters and I had a lot of fondness towards this series. But I did struggle a bit with this book
What I liked about this book:
- I love a gremlin character, someone prickly, with attitude, a feral raccoon like Xander was called. There's just something about a prickly character
- I loved the found family dynamic that spun across this series. The relationships between Aggy, and all of Bertha's boys was really special. They really loved and supported each other and everyone had their quirks, they were endearing.
- I appreciated that there was so little other man drama, they both weren't with others during the course of the book, even though they had long during the course of the book, even though they had long periods apart. They were both committed to being together, so it was low angst from that perspective
- The ending was nice, seeing people move into the next phases of their lives and settle down was a nice closure. I was happy that Seven and Xander got to stay so close.
What I didn't like:
- This is a me thing, but I really struggle with power imbalances in relationships and the ethics issues of them. So it was hard for me to fully support this couple and feel good about their romance.
- I didn't feel good about the first 2 times when Derek hooked up with Xander even though it hadn't been 2 years yet. I know that Derek had blue balls and it had been quite a while that he'd been developing feelings for Xander. And it's heavily implied he'd been celibate for quite a while now. But I don't like how he wants to play it by the book for the sake of his career, yet when he gets horny, he will make exceptions, and he'll make clear to Xander that it's a one-time only thing. That comes across as self-serving. If the line is important enough to you morally and for your career sake, don't cross it. If you're going to cross it, don't just cross it to get your rocks off and then try to claim the high ground later.
- I had a hard time seeing what the characters loved about each other. We didn't really see them fall in love, they already had feelings before the book began. I wish there had been more clear things about each other that appealed to them about each other. I still felt like Xander loved Derek because he was a comfort to him and not so much for himself. And what did Derek love about Xander other than that he was spunky, attractive, and vulnerable/needed him? They went through so much in order to be together, denying themselves, staying apart for so long, I needed to see it be more of an epic love connection.
- And a minor complaint, I didn't love how they texted each other during their times apart. It seems like a token superficial marker of time that they just texted about how much time had passed each month they were apart. They didn't talk about anything of real depth, nothing that really helped their connection form even though they were separated.
Some notable moments:
"I’ve never seen Derek out of his uniform that he wears at the pharmacy, but I’m seeing a lot of him now. He’s got a chunky belly and a solid chest sprinkled with dark hair. And big arms. He’s not overly big like Seven, but he’s a nice big. A cuddly big. I’m dying to know what his hugs are like."
"“Who would abandon a sweet boy like you?” Genevieve asks. “Assholes.” “Well, at least you inherited something from them,” Kevin says. I cringe at the comment, but Xander doesn’t look bothered. “Careful, or I’ll unplug your oxygen. Don’t test me.” “You would too.” Kevin glances over his shoulder, and I try to follow his line of sight. “Aggy, where did you find this feral raccoon?” “Rooting around in my trash.” “You’re supposed to love me,” Xander shoots back at her. “I do, sweet one. But it doesn’t mean you’re not a feral raccoon.”"
I love how protective Xander, Molly and Seven are of each other. "“How would you feel if Molly was sad?” “Angry. I’d want to fix it.” “Because you care about him.” Xander nods. “Sometimes more than Seven.” That’s surprising. “I thought Seven was everything to you.” “He is. But Seven can look after himself. Molly’s … precious. Too breakable.”"
*FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink.
**Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 30, 2025
DNF. I literally can not read a -romance- about someone this destructive, and the other dude Derik? Putting his whole life on hold for some guy (Xander) who comes into his pharmacy “dying”?, like y’all. He’s not his friend. He’s not in a relationship. He works at a big box store (said so) there are rules about handling people in mental health crisis. My boy D at the very least would get transported to hospital and possibly given a restraining order by the store. D has no business trying to “treat” X. And assaulting someone at the dance club because he saw D dancing? Really? I’m with the old woman next door who said “absolutely no you don’t cross that line”
Now before folks go “can’t rate a book you didn’t finish” I ended up skipping through and reading bits and parts from the rest of the book because I needed to know if it was worth sticking around and slogging through to where X starts getting help. Yes his friends start setting boundaries. Yes he does eventually get help. But it takes So long to get there that I’m irritated and not wanting to read further.
This isn’t a dark romance or a fantasy where reality and rules can be bent or ignored. I’m typically ok with weird characters with traumatic pasts. But I don’t want to read about someone in mental health crisis for that many pages before he inevitably gets his HEA. I think I’m ok with trauma reads if they are in the process of getting treatment (like in Unlucky 13) or it happens early in the story, or there is a time gap after a prolog. But not 50% of the dang book.
I do like D has bugs though. Cool hobby and I found myself waiting for when he’s talking about his insects more than his time with X so That is a for sure sign this romance wasn’t for me.
Now before folks go “can’t rate a book you didn’t finish” I ended up skipping through and reading bits and parts from the rest of the book because I needed to know if it was worth sticking around and slogging through to where X starts getting help. Yes his friends start setting boundaries. Yes he does eventually get help. But it takes So long to get there that I’m irritated and not wanting to read further.
This isn’t a dark romance or a fantasy where reality and rules can be bent or ignored. I’m typically ok with weird characters with traumatic pasts. But I don’t want to read about someone in mental health crisis for that many pages before he inevitably gets his HEA. I think I’m ok with trauma reads if they are in the process of getting treatment (like in Unlucky 13) or it happens early in the story, or there is a time gap after a prolog. But not 50% of the dang book.
I do like D has bugs though. Cool hobby and I found myself waiting for when he’s talking about his insects more than his time with X so That is a for sure sign this romance wasn’t for me.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 1, 2025
Not Catching Love by Saxon James
💛 Nurse x Artist
💛 Forbidden Romance
💛 Nurse/Patient to Friends to Lovers
💛 Mental Health Themes
💛 Hurt/Comfort
💛 Mutual Pining
💛 Virgin MC
💛 Slow Burn
💛 Found Family
I've been excited for Xander and Derek's book since we first met them in The Husband Hoax and though this story wasn't what I had been originally expecting for the characters, I still really enjoyed it.
Both Xander and Derek had a lot of issues to sort through in this book and I really liked seeing them grow as individuals and eventually together as a couple.
The moments between Seven & Xander and Seven & Derek were so lovely and unsurprisingly, Seven continues to be my favourite character of the series!
Overall, this book was a really nice ending to the series and what has turned out to be a great collection of found family stories!
Overall: ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5
Spice: 🌶️🌶️🌶️
Humour: 🤭🤭🤭.5
Intimacy: 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
Angst: 🥺🥺🥺
First person dual pov 👀
CW (from author): This book contains mentions of past traumas, including abandonment, neglect, and childhood abuse. There is trauma dumping and severe anxiety attacks. Xander’s opinions on mental health and psychologists are his own and don’t reflect reality or the author’s own opinions.
CW (extras): medication, therapy sessions, self loathing, self image issues, mentions of childhood bullying, emotional abuse, mentions of addiction (MCs parents, off page), medical trauma (off page, in the past).
💛 Nurse x Artist
💛 Forbidden Romance
💛 Nurse/Patient to Friends to Lovers
💛 Mental Health Themes
💛 Hurt/Comfort
💛 Mutual Pining
💛 Virgin MC
💛 Slow Burn
💛 Found Family
I've been excited for Xander and Derek's book since we first met them in The Husband Hoax and though this story wasn't what I had been originally expecting for the characters, I still really enjoyed it.
Both Xander and Derek had a lot of issues to sort through in this book and I really liked seeing them grow as individuals and eventually together as a couple.
The moments between Seven & Xander and Seven & Derek were so lovely and unsurprisingly, Seven continues to be my favourite character of the series!
Overall, this book was a really nice ending to the series and what has turned out to be a great collection of found family stories!
Overall: ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5
Spice: 🌶️🌶️🌶️
Humour: 🤭🤭🤭.5
Intimacy: 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
Angst: 🥺🥺🥺
First person dual pov 👀
CW (from author): This book contains mentions of past traumas, including abandonment, neglect, and childhood abuse. There is trauma dumping and severe anxiety attacks. Xander’s opinions on mental health and psychologists are his own and don’t reflect reality or the author’s own opinions.
CW (extras): medication, therapy sessions, self loathing, self image issues, mentions of childhood bullying, emotional abuse, mentions of addiction (MCs parents, off page), medical trauma (off page, in the past).
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 28, 2024
The perfect ending for the Bertha boys😭
I was scared that I might not like Xander’s character but the little smurf grew on me! He has severe anxiety and panic attacks because of his past and as we already know, he has his Derek to make him all better!
Derek is a nurse and his whole life revolves around Xander. He wants to protect him and help him and the lines between nurse and patient start to blur!
Absolutely loved the progression of the book. It was a bit of a slow burn with a lot of pining! Derek was an absolutely lovely character! From his job, to his volunteering, to him also accepting Molly and Seven as part of Xander’s life…he was simply, perfection!
I loved how hard Xander was trying to become a little better so he can be in a healthy relationship! It was so endearing to finally see him fully happy and thriving!
One thing happens in the book on page 212 (I don’t want to spoil) that had me gasping out loud and then bursting out in tears…other than that it was all bittersweet😭
I was scared that I might not like Xander’s character but the little smurf grew on me! He has severe anxiety and panic attacks because of his past and as we already know, he has his Derek to make him all better!
Derek is a nurse and his whole life revolves around Xander. He wants to protect him and help him and the lines between nurse and patient start to blur!
Absolutely loved the progression of the book. It was a bit of a slow burn with a lot of pining! Derek was an absolutely lovely character! From his job, to his volunteering, to him also accepting Molly and Seven as part of Xander’s life…he was simply, perfection!
I loved how hard Xander was trying to become a little better so he can be in a healthy relationship! It was so endearing to finally see him fully happy and thriving!
One thing happens in the book on page 212 (I don’t want to spoil) that had me gasping out loud and then bursting out in tears…other than that it was all bittersweet😭
January 6, 2025
I’ve been waiting for this book for years, so my expectations were high. While it wasn’t exactly what I imagined for Xander and Derek’s story, I still loved it! I would’ve enjoyed even more codependency (I’m obsessed), but I totally understand why Xander had to find his own way to heal and why Derek needed space to let that happen.
Their relationship is pure sweetness. Derek is such an incredible boyfriend and I loved how he accepted Xander, Seven and Molly as a package deal.
The ending was so adorable! My heart was bursting with happiness for my baby Xander. He deserved it all.
Their relationship is pure sweetness. Derek is such an incredible boyfriend and I loved how he accepted Xander, Seven and Molly as a package deal.
The ending was so adorable! My heart was bursting with happiness for my baby Xander. He deserved it all.
January 24, 2025
Catching Love is the final book in the Accidental Love series by Saxon James. While I'm heartbroken to have it end , this was the perfect conclusion and everything I wanted for the men.
“I’ve been waiting my whole life for you. Just you. I’m not going anywhere.”
I loved Xander so much. Xander is such a whirlwind of a character. He is all over the place with his feelings with the constants being Derek, Seven, Molly and the rest of his Big Bertha brothers. Meanwhile Derek tries so hard to keep professional and ethical when it comes to caring for Xander. Derek Derek Derek, he definitely grew on me. I get he was trying to do the right thing but I was just as impatient as Xander for them to get together. He wants so much to be everything Xander needs but understands the unhealthiness of becoming Xander’s obsession. The two have to work on themselves just as much as building a relationship together. The ups and downs of Xander's feelings can be felt with the ups and downs of the story itself.
I’m yours. I’ve always been yours. I can’t believe you finally caught up.
I absolutely adored this book and it's in a tie with Not Dating Material for my favorite of the series . Honestly the Bertha house series is probably one of my all time favorites. The men of big Bertha house captured my heart and I see myself revisiting them multiple times in the future .
Not Catching Love was a fantastic series ending filled with Bugs, painting, steam, insults as love language, platonic love , found family , and a happy ending.
Favorite Qoutes:
“I’ve been waiting my whole life for you. Just you. I’m not going anywhere.”
I loved Xander so much. Xander is such a whirlwind of a character. He is all over the place with his feelings with the constants being Derek, Seven, Molly and the rest of his Big Bertha brothers. Meanwhile Derek tries so hard to keep professional and ethical when it comes to caring for Xander. Derek Derek Derek, he definitely grew on me. I get he was trying to do the right thing but I was just as impatient as Xander for them to get together. He wants so much to be everything Xander needs but understands the unhealthiness of becoming Xander’s obsession. The two have to work on themselves just as much as building a relationship together. The ups and downs of Xander's feelings can be felt with the ups and downs of the story itself.
I’m yours. I’ve always been yours. I can’t believe you finally caught up.
I absolutely adored this book and it's in a tie with Not Dating Material for my favorite of the series . Honestly the Bertha house series is probably one of my all time favorites. The men of big Bertha house captured my heart and I see myself revisiting them multiple times in the future .
Not Catching Love was a fantastic series ending filled with Bugs, painting, steam, insults as love language, platonic love , found family , and a happy ending.
Favorite Qoutes:
August 17, 2025
Ну люблю я цих тендітних хлочиків з надмірним бажанням виділитися яскравою зовнішністю і величезним багажом психічних розладів.
І Ксандер як раз такий. Гарний, яскравий, сексуальний, фіолетові лінзи, синє волосся і купа купа проблем з головою.
Все б нічого, але історія як раз "нічого". Не погано і не добре. Посередньо.
Але. Доволі реалістично (особливо історія з панічними атаками). Ну і я повірила, що головні герої можуть бути разом, бо вони проробили велику роботу: терапія, вміння говорити, вміння чути та дослухатися, почуття безпеки та особистих кордонів.
А так... якось все було пріснувато. На жаль, як швидко прочитала, так швидко і забуду. Але рада за героїв, що вони знайшли свій спокій та щастя поряд один з одним
P.S.: інші книжки в цій серії читати не буду. Трохи не моє
І Ксандер як раз такий. Гарний, яскравий, сексуальний, фіолетові лінзи, синє волосся і купа купа проблем з головою.
Все б нічого, але історія як раз "нічого". Не погано і не добре. Посередньо.
Але. Доволі реалістично (особливо історія з панічними атаками). Ну і я повірила, що головні герої можуть бути разом, бо вони проробили велику роботу: терапія, вміння говорити, вміння чути та дослухатися, почуття безпеки та особистих кордонів.
А так... якось все було пріснувато. На жаль, як швидко прочитала, так швидко і забуду. Але рада за героїв, що вони знайшли свій спокій та щастя поряд один з одним
P.S.: інші книжки в цій серії читати не буду. Трохи не моє
January 26, 2025
I would be sadder about this series ending if Saxon hadn't given us the perfect epilogue. It's not a long one, it's not detailed, but it's perfect nevertheless.
Xander was the most intriguing bertha boy sikce day one; clingy, knew no boundaries, struggled so much. When I realised he was going to get with the nurse who treated his panic attacks I was doubtful. It wasn't about the morals or ethics, it was more about wanting them to have a balanced love story, not one where there's a carer and the cared one. I was so happy when I started reading the book because Saxon found a way to give them the romance they deserved. She did it making us go through pining, months and months of will they won't they, they shouldn't but I want them to. It was a struggle! I knew it was the right decision for them, for the story, but I'm a fragile creature, I can't be too sad while reading and the first part of the book made me sad. But it was all so worth it. Derek ended up being one of the sweetest characters, and Xander found out he was way stronger that the evil voices in his head. Things might not be always perfect, but the support they have, they all have, the bertha boys, their support, their found family is just perfect and it brought me so much joy witnessing all of them getting their love story. Even if I'm really extremely sad about saying goodbye. I'm going ti miss them a lot.
Xander was the most intriguing bertha boy sikce day one; clingy, knew no boundaries, struggled so much. When I realised he was going to get with the nurse who treated his panic attacks I was doubtful. It wasn't about the morals or ethics, it was more about wanting them to have a balanced love story, not one where there's a carer and the cared one. I was so happy when I started reading the book because Saxon found a way to give them the romance they deserved. She did it making us go through pining, months and months of will they won't they, they shouldn't but I want them to. It was a struggle! I knew it was the right decision for them, for the story, but I'm a fragile creature, I can't be too sad while reading and the first part of the book made me sad. But it was all so worth it. Derek ended up being one of the sweetest characters, and Xander found out he was way stronger that the evil voices in his head. Things might not be always perfect, but the support they have, they all have, the bertha boys, their support, their found family is just perfect and it brought me so much joy witnessing all of them getting their love story. Even if I'm really extremely sad about saying goodbye. I'm going ti miss them a lot.
February 2, 2025
Wow! This has been my favourite series that I've read in a while. I'm a bit sad that it's come to an end.
The whole time I've been reading these, I've been waiting for Xanders story, and I finally got it with this final instalment.
Xander has a whole Johnny Cake vibe (Outsiders, Johnny Cade). The small, broken, vulnerable member of the group, who everyone is super protective of, and you can't help but love. Seven was the Dallas to Xanders Johnny.
Xander and Derek's story was beautiful, and Xander went through so much growth and healing.
I'm sad it's over, but so glad that absolutely everyone got their HEAs.
I'm going to have to look into some of this author's other series.
The whole time I've been reading these, I've been waiting for Xanders story, and I finally got it with this final instalment.
Xander has a whole Johnny Cake vibe (Outsiders, Johnny Cade). The small, broken, vulnerable member of the group, who everyone is super protective of, and you can't help but love. Seven was the Dallas to Xanders Johnny.
Xander and Derek's story was beautiful, and Xander went through so much growth and healing.
I'm sad it's over, but so glad that absolutely everyone got their HEAs.
I'm going to have to look into some of this author's other series.
January 31, 2025
Omg I have been dying to read this final instalment of the Bertha boys and fall in love with Xander and Derek 😍 Book 5 on the accidental love series .
That cover with the colours and his eyes staring soulfully - LOVE IT!
The story is broken into three or four parts.
Xander has mental health problems that include spiralling thoughts, childhood neglect and trauma, anxiety and self loathing He refuses to see a psychologist and relies on Derek the chemist nurse way too much as well as his close friends. Xander Is attracted to Derek and thinks he’s in love.
Derek is a Nurse, volunteers, is social and an avid bug collector/ enthusiast. He has kind of put his life on hold for Xander, which I think is a bit crossing the professional boundaries… but we all know where this book is heading . Derek feels responsible and protective of Xander.
“Every attack, every spiral, every episode where he’s sure he’s dying and can’t pull himself back, he ends up here. ”
Derek is also interested in Xander but won’t cross those Code of ethics lines.
“I’m unlucky that the first guy I’ve ever wanted is my patient, but if he wasn’t my patient, I never would have met him in the first place. It’s a vicious loop. ”
Xander has abandonment issues, a traumatic childhood , self hatred, low self esteem, but
Derek makes him feel safe.
Derek and Xander grow closer when they discover they both volunteer at a nursing home. They see a different side to each other which does not help their attraction.
“This creative, snarky, passionate man deserves so much more than he lets himself have. It’s hard not to get pissy about that.”
Xander is also struggling with feeling like all the important people in his life don’t have time for him anymore.
“I hate having to fight for people’s attention. Hate having to remind them I exist too.”
Derek puts a wall up between them because no matter how much he is tempted and attracted, he knows a potential relationship with Xander refusing therapy is a red flag. Derek has spent years caring and being there for Xander but he’s exhausted, he’s starting to become resentful and he’s done much to Xander’s shock.
Xander has the most amazing, loving and supportive friends … who lovingly manipulate him into desperately needed therapy.
Six months go by.
“All this time, I’ve been missing him and hating how I left, and he moved on.”
Therapy has taught Xander coping strategies and healthy boundaries but he hasn’t been magically fixed or cured.
This book can be a little angsty and yearning because Xander and Derek want to be together but Derek also really loves his job as a Nurse. Sooo …. They try to be friends .
Flirty friends. Aww it’s so adorable, cute and sweet.
Xander is Beautiful chaos and Derek finally succumbs to the attraction burning hot between them.
“I’d fucking devour him if I could.
Ruin him.
Leave him begging for more.
Exactly how I will be once this is over.”
Derek is still adamant they can’t have a relationship or be anything more than friends because of his job.
“He feels like mine. He acts like mine. In another universe, we met at random and are already dating. In that universe, I can touch him whenever I want.”
For the most part Derek’s self control is strong. He’s in it for the long game. He’s not Xanders nurse anymore and there’s a recommended two year time frame before dating a previous patient. Soooo they aren’t dating … but kinda are. Derek decides they need space so he doesn’t break his strong resolve.
4 months later …
“If I’m fined or stripped of my license … I’ll figure it out. I love you, Xander. And the fact I had to be away from you for so fucking long doesn’t make sense. I want to make you happy. That’s it. That’s top of my dream board.”
Then they do become official boyfriends- yay!!
Xanders catastrophizing isn’t logical, he’s crazy talented and even though he doesn’t see it he’s strong. He’s finally working towards healing himself from childhood trauma with a therapist. I really loved how realistically Saxon portrayed Xanders mental health issues throughout the whole book and there was no quick fix, just constantly working on it, communication and adjustments.
Derek is absolute boyfriend perfection. This book can be a little angsty and slow, but it’s understandable. Derek loves being a nurse and there’s a lot of risk involved jumping straight into a relationship with Xander. Derek is very aware of Nightingale syndrome and doesn’t want them to fall into that trap so the slow burn friendship/ romance is necessary for a successful relationship. Derek wants to separate from professional caregiver to supportive boyfriend.
The books ends beautifully, perfectly aligned with what Xander and Derek both need and want as well as giving a loving send off to the whole series, our Bertha boys and their partners.
“Because I trust Derek when he says he loves me, when he says he wants to love me forever. And I’m going to do the same for him.
I never have to worry about being alone again.”
That cover with the colours and his eyes staring soulfully - LOVE IT!
The story is broken into three or four parts.
Xander has mental health problems that include spiralling thoughts, childhood neglect and trauma, anxiety and self loathing He refuses to see a psychologist and relies on Derek the chemist nurse way too much as well as his close friends. Xander Is attracted to Derek and thinks he’s in love.
Derek is a Nurse, volunteers, is social and an avid bug collector/ enthusiast. He has kind of put his life on hold for Xander, which I think is a bit crossing the professional boundaries… but we all know where this book is heading . Derek feels responsible and protective of Xander.
“Every attack, every spiral, every episode where he’s sure he’s dying and can’t pull himself back, he ends up here. ”
Derek is also interested in Xander but won’t cross those Code of ethics lines.
“I’m unlucky that the first guy I’ve ever wanted is my patient, but if he wasn’t my patient, I never would have met him in the first place. It’s a vicious loop. ”
Xander has abandonment issues, a traumatic childhood , self hatred, low self esteem, but
Derek makes him feel safe.
Derek and Xander grow closer when they discover they both volunteer at a nursing home. They see a different side to each other which does not help their attraction.
“This creative, snarky, passionate man deserves so much more than he lets himself have. It’s hard not to get pissy about that.”
Xander is also struggling with feeling like all the important people in his life don’t have time for him anymore.
“I hate having to fight for people’s attention. Hate having to remind them I exist too.”
Derek puts a wall up between them because no matter how much he is tempted and attracted, he knows a potential relationship with Xander refusing therapy is a red flag. Derek has spent years caring and being there for Xander but he’s exhausted, he’s starting to become resentful and he’s done much to Xander’s shock.
Xander has the most amazing, loving and supportive friends … who lovingly manipulate him into desperately needed therapy.
Six months go by.
“All this time, I’ve been missing him and hating how I left, and he moved on.”
Therapy has taught Xander coping strategies and healthy boundaries but he hasn’t been magically fixed or cured.
This book can be a little angsty and yearning because Xander and Derek want to be together but Derek also really loves his job as a Nurse. Sooo …. They try to be friends .
Flirty friends. Aww it’s so adorable, cute and sweet.
Xander is Beautiful chaos and Derek finally succumbs to the attraction burning hot between them.
“I’d fucking devour him if I could.
Ruin him.
Leave him begging for more.
Exactly how I will be once this is over.”
Derek is still adamant they can’t have a relationship or be anything more than friends because of his job.
“He feels like mine. He acts like mine. In another universe, we met at random and are already dating. In that universe, I can touch him whenever I want.”
For the most part Derek’s self control is strong. He’s in it for the long game. He’s not Xanders nurse anymore and there’s a recommended two year time frame before dating a previous patient. Soooo they aren’t dating … but kinda are. Derek decides they need space so he doesn’t break his strong resolve.
4 months later …
“If I’m fined or stripped of my license … I’ll figure it out. I love you, Xander. And the fact I had to be away from you for so fucking long doesn’t make sense. I want to make you happy. That’s it. That’s top of my dream board.”
Then they do become official boyfriends- yay!!
Xanders catastrophizing isn’t logical, he’s crazy talented and even though he doesn’t see it he’s strong. He’s finally working towards healing himself from childhood trauma with a therapist. I really loved how realistically Saxon portrayed Xanders mental health issues throughout the whole book and there was no quick fix, just constantly working on it, communication and adjustments.
Derek is absolute boyfriend perfection. This book can be a little angsty and slow, but it’s understandable. Derek loves being a nurse and there’s a lot of risk involved jumping straight into a relationship with Xander. Derek is very aware of Nightingale syndrome and doesn’t want them to fall into that trap so the slow burn friendship/ romance is necessary for a successful relationship. Derek wants to separate from professional caregiver to supportive boyfriend.
The books ends beautifully, perfectly aligned with what Xander and Derek both need and want as well as giving a loving send off to the whole series, our Bertha boys and their partners.
“Because I trust Derek when he says he loves me, when he says he wants to love me forever. And I’m going to do the same for him.
I never have to worry about being alone again.”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 14, 2025
This was okay. I don't know if I was just burnt out on this series by this point or if Saxon was lol. I was really excited for Xander and Derek's story because of the buildup and the hurt/comfort but I feel slightly let down. I just didn't fully get their chemistry here. There were moments where I was like huh? how/why do these two like each other soooooo much and others where I found them really cute together.
This was probably was closer to a 2.5 but bumping it up an extra half star literally just for the scene where Derek tells Xander off for saying he doesn't care about him then turns around and also tells Seven to fucking get him into therapy and says "Fuck you too". Then yeets himself off on a six month journey to provide nursing aid in Cambodia. My man 👏👏👏
Series:
1. The Husband Hoax - 4 .0 stars
2. Not Dating Material - 4.5 stars
3. The Revenge Agenda - 3.5 stars
4. Just Bromantically Invested - 2.0 stars
5. Not Catching Love - 3.0 stars
This was probably was closer to a 2.5 but bumping it up an extra half star literally just for the scene where Derek tells Xander off for saying he doesn't care about him then turns around and also tells Seven to fucking get him into therapy and says "Fuck you too". Then yeets himself off on a six month journey to provide nursing aid in Cambodia. My man 👏👏👏
Series:
1. The Husband Hoax - 4 .0 stars
2. Not Dating Material - 4.5 stars
3. The Revenge Agenda - 3.5 stars
4. Just Bromantically Invested - 2.0 stars
5. Not Catching Love - 3.0 stars
February 19, 2025
-2
After the nightmare that was the previous book, I wasn't planning to read the next one. Did I listen to myself? No.
Was it worth it? Unfortunately, no.
Xander's mental struggles were the best-written part, and I have to really appreciate the solid research behind it. But Derek? And the whole plot with his work as a nurse? Absurd and blown out of proportion. And keep in mind, this is coming from someone who enjoys a slow burn…
Derek acted as if Xander was his pet, just another bug—he adores him but keeps his distance. But what pissed me off the most was a line during their first time together:
"I need to make it clear that this is only for today. You get that, right?"
WTF
I thought about DNFing after 75%.
I finished.
Did I change my mind? Nope.
After the nightmare that was the previous book, I wasn't planning to read the next one. Did I listen to myself? No.
Was it worth it? Unfortunately, no.
Xander's mental struggles were the best-written part, and I have to really appreciate the solid research behind it. But Derek? And the whole plot with his work as a nurse? Absurd and blown out of proportion. And keep in mind, this is coming from someone who enjoys a slow burn…
Derek acted as if Xander was his pet, just another bug—he adores him but keeps his distance. But what pissed me off the most was a line during their first time together:
"I need to make it clear that this is only for today. You get that, right?"
WTF
I thought about DNFing after 75%.
I finished.
Did I change my mind? Nope.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 29, 2025
4.5 stars
I have been eagerly anticipating Xander and Derek's story since their introduction in the previous book of this series. This installment provides a perfect conclusion to the series.
Xander and Derek's journey is not without its challenges. Xander grapples with panic attacks, anxiety, and other untreated conditions. Complicating matters further, Derek is the nurse at the pharmacy Xander frequents during panic attacks. I commend Saxon on her insightful portrayal of Xander's conditions, which deeply resonated with me and evoked genuine empathy.
For the first part of the book, Xander's untreated anxieties, including a pervasive fear of abandonment, lead to a somewhat grumpy demeanor. Despite his long-standing attraction to Xander, Derek initially hesitates due to ethical concerns and the potential loss of his nursing license.
However, a turning point arrives when Xander prioritizes his mental health by seeking therapy. This crucial step paves the way for significant personal growth and a blossoming relationship with Derek. I was immensely proud of Xander for taking charge of his well-being.
Derek's unwavering support for Xander throughout their journey is truly heartwarming. Their relationship unfolds gradually, marked by moments of intimacy and shared healing. Furthermore, Derek's effortless acceptance of Seven and Molly, Xander's cherished companions, highlights the depth of their connection. Their happily-ever-after is both satisfying and deeply moving.
I thoroughly enjoyed connecting with the residents of the old age home and the rest of the Bertha Boys, including Aggie.
This series is exceptional and I wholeheartedly recommend it.
* I received an ARC copy from Foreword PR and Marketing and this is my honest review *
I have been eagerly anticipating Xander and Derek's story since their introduction in the previous book of this series. This installment provides a perfect conclusion to the series.
Xander and Derek's journey is not without its challenges. Xander grapples with panic attacks, anxiety, and other untreated conditions. Complicating matters further, Derek is the nurse at the pharmacy Xander frequents during panic attacks. I commend Saxon on her insightful portrayal of Xander's conditions, which deeply resonated with me and evoked genuine empathy.
For the first part of the book, Xander's untreated anxieties, including a pervasive fear of abandonment, lead to a somewhat grumpy demeanor. Despite his long-standing attraction to Xander, Derek initially hesitates due to ethical concerns and the potential loss of his nursing license.
However, a turning point arrives when Xander prioritizes his mental health by seeking therapy. This crucial step paves the way for significant personal growth and a blossoming relationship with Derek. I was immensely proud of Xander for taking charge of his well-being.
Derek's unwavering support for Xander throughout their journey is truly heartwarming. Their relationship unfolds gradually, marked by moments of intimacy and shared healing. Furthermore, Derek's effortless acceptance of Seven and Molly, Xander's cherished companions, highlights the depth of their connection. Their happily-ever-after is both satisfying and deeply moving.
I thoroughly enjoyed connecting with the residents of the old age home and the rest of the Bertha Boys, including Aggie.
This series is exceptional and I wholeheartedly recommend it.
* I received an ARC copy from Foreword PR and Marketing and this is my honest review *
January 14, 2025
*Book Received in Exchange for Honest Opinion/Review*
Raw, poignant, healing, and real; Xander's book was absolutely everything I hoped it would be. This was one of my most anticipated reads of 2025 and Saxon James did not disappoint. It was such a beautiful journey, and it's always bittersweet to see a series come to a close, but this story and ending did it justice.
Xander was just such a beautiful character, so much hidden depth and heartbreak morphed him into the man he is today. My heart ached for him and his struggles, and I found my heart aching for myself as I could relate to him on some levels. Xander's crippling anxiety has defined him for so long and to see him grow over the course of the story had me feeling all the fuzzy feels. He deserves to find peace and be able to function. I loved how honest the story was, Xander knew he wasn't 'cured' but he was working towards functioning and being better, which is what really matters.
Then there is sweet, patient Derek. The man has a heart of gold and I loved how the story was balanced. It wasn't insta-love; it was time, self-reflection, and healing. Derek and Xander both needed to work on themselves but also needed time to get to know each other outside of the patient/nurse setting. I just adored how Saxon navigated the intricacies here. And the ending had me endlessly swooning. It was the perfect closure on all front. And while it is bittersweet to say goodbye to a beloved series, I can't wait to see what cameos these guys may play in a future Saxon book.
Raw, poignant, healing, and real; Xander's book was absolutely everything I hoped it would be. This was one of my most anticipated reads of 2025 and Saxon James did not disappoint. It was such a beautiful journey, and it's always bittersweet to see a series come to a close, but this story and ending did it justice.
Xander was just such a beautiful character, so much hidden depth and heartbreak morphed him into the man he is today. My heart ached for him and his struggles, and I found my heart aching for myself as I could relate to him on some levels. Xander's crippling anxiety has defined him for so long and to see him grow over the course of the story had me feeling all the fuzzy feels. He deserves to find peace and be able to function. I loved how honest the story was, Xander knew he wasn't 'cured' but he was working towards functioning and being better, which is what really matters.
Then there is sweet, patient Derek. The man has a heart of gold and I loved how the story was balanced. It wasn't insta-love; it was time, self-reflection, and healing. Derek and Xander both needed to work on themselves but also needed time to get to know each other outside of the patient/nurse setting. I just adored how Saxon navigated the intricacies here. And the ending had me endlessly swooning. It was the perfect closure on all front. And while it is bittersweet to say goodbye to a beloved series, I can't wait to see what cameos these guys may play in a future Saxon book.
January 31, 2025
That cover 🤩😍☺️
I loved this book as much as I hoped I would. I didn’t like how ethical Derek was, because I wanted him to be there for Xander, but I know he was right and definitely coming from the right direction. (Also really didn’t like Susan, hahaha).
A book that makes me think about it as if the mc’s are real people and the story is something that feels like it happened to someone I know (which I don’t) is a huge winner in my world.
Loved it, recommend very much and will also reread and reread. I think I loved this one as much as I loved Russ’s book, and I loved that one sooo much also. Right onto my favorites shelf.
I loved this book as much as I hoped I would. I didn’t like how ethical Derek was, because I wanted him to be there for Xander, but I know he was right and definitely coming from the right direction. (Also really didn’t like Susan, hahaha).
A book that makes me think about it as if the mc’s are real people and the story is something that feels like it happened to someone I know (which I don’t) is a huge winner in my world.
Loved it, recommend very much and will also reread and reread. I think I loved this one as much as I loved Russ’s book, and I loved that one sooo much also. Right onto my favorites shelf.
March 4, 2025
Loved that we finally got a book again where they really took their time actually getting to know each other and didn’t have to have the freakiest sex possible! It was just overall extremely cute and in a realistic timeframe for the issues Xander had for several years.
Definitely my second favourite of the series next to Sevens story.
Definitely my second favourite of the series next to Sevens story.
March 24, 2025
Final in the series. Xander is exhausting on occasion, even though he's this way understandably so. His reluctance to try therapy, and being enabled by Seven and his other house brothers didn't help. But things do change eventually, and this does end on a rather positive note.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 694 reviews