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Kids Gone Wild: From Rainbow Parties to Sexting, Understanding the Hype Over Teen Sex
To hear mainstream media sources tell it, the sex lives of modern teenagers outpace even the smuttiest of cable television shows. Teen girls "sext" explicit photos to boys they like; they wear "sex bracelets" that signify what sexual activities they have done, or will do; they team up with other girls at "rainbow parties" to perform sex acts on groups of willing teen boys; they form "pregnancy pacts" with their best girlfriends to all become teen mothers at the same time. From The Today Show, to CNN, to the New York Times, stories of these events have been featured widely in the media. But are most teenage--or younger--children really going to sex parties and having multiple sexual encounters in an orgy-like fashion?
Researchers say no--teen sex is actually not rampant and teen pregnancy is at low levels. But why do stories like these find such media traffic, exploiting parents' worst fears? How do these rumors get started, and how do they travel around the country and even across the globe?
In Kids Gone Wild, best-selling authors Joel Best and Kathleen A. Bogle use these stories about the fears of the growing sexualization of childhood to explore what we know about contemporary legends and how both traditional media and the internet perpetuate these rumors while, at times, debating their authenticity. Best and Bogle describe the process by which such stories spread, trace how and to where they have moved, and track how they can morph as they travel from one medium to another. Ultimately, they find that our society's view of kids raging out of control has drastic and unforeseen consequences, fueling the debate on sex education and affecting policy decisions on everything from the availability of the morning after pill to who is included on sex offender registries. A surprising look at the truth behind the sensationalism in our culture, Kids Gone Wild is a much-needed wake-up call for a society determined to believe the worst about its young people.
Researchers say no--teen sex is actually not rampant and teen pregnancy is at low levels. But why do stories like these find such media traffic, exploiting parents' worst fears? How do these rumors get started, and how do they travel around the country and even across the globe?
In Kids Gone Wild, best-selling authors Joel Best and Kathleen A. Bogle use these stories about the fears of the growing sexualization of childhood to explore what we know about contemporary legends and how both traditional media and the internet perpetuate these rumors while, at times, debating their authenticity. Best and Bogle describe the process by which such stories spread, trace how and to where they have moved, and track how they can morph as they travel from one medium to another. Ultimately, they find that our society's view of kids raging out of control has drastic and unforeseen consequences, fueling the debate on sex education and affecting policy decisions on everything from the availability of the morning after pill to who is included on sex offender registries. A surprising look at the truth behind the sensationalism in our culture, Kids Gone Wild is a much-needed wake-up call for a society determined to believe the worst about its young people.
- GenresNonfictionParenting
200 pages, Hardcover
First published August 29, 2014
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
June 15, 2014
I don't know what to say. Going into it, I was pretty sure they wouldn't be able to change my position on the topic and of course they didn't. There is not a single piece of evidence that supports the existence of rainbow parties or sexual favors being given through sex bracelets. The "research" is 90% online comments like "Yes i am a reel 11 year-old and i hav done anal!!1!1" Everything else is excerpts from conservative news programs warning parents that their toddlers will soon be engaging in orgies in the middle of the hallways at school. Halfway through the book there is some information that obliterates the authors' argument , and it goes downhill for them from there. I get that parents worry about their kids having sex, but every generation has done the same thing and each future generation will continue to have sex at a young age. If you want to "protect" your kids, teach them about safe sex and the possible dangers of unsafe sex. Kids Gone Wild is as close to abstinence propaganda as you'll get and I was rolling my eyes most of the time (but it is also pretty funny).
And for God's sake, stop calling it "the birds and the bees" because that's not what is going to come out of your daughter's vagina.
And for God's sake, stop calling it "the birds and the bees" because that's not what is going to come out of your daughter's vagina.
December 29, 2020
I'm a bit confused by all the negative reviews upset that this book doesn't prove or disprove whether the rainbow parties/sex bracelets were actually real, since that's not what the book claims to be about. It wasn't the best thing I've ever read (I'd agree with the review that likens it to a long term paper), but the authors state many, many times that their research is about how rumors/urban legends spread, and that's the information they get across. It's a bit repetitive, but not a bad book overall.
December 28, 2014
I received this from the publisher in exchange for my honest opinion.
I'm always eager to hear well-balanced, engaging looks at the ways in which "kids today" look at the world. Books like Fast Girls, Odd Girl Out, and Cinderella Ate My Daughter compassionately investigate these issues by matching extensive research with teens' own voices.
This is not one of those books. Instead, it was chock-full of reactionary drivel, conservatism, and exactly the kind of exaggerated hype the authors accuse the media of perpetrating. The young people they "spoke" to did not appear to be a balanced sample, and the research is shoddy at best. I was pretty frustrated that something like this, which aims to explore the issue of sensationalism, only perpetuates the most harmful of its elements.
Very frustrating.
I'm always eager to hear well-balanced, engaging looks at the ways in which "kids today" look at the world. Books like Fast Girls, Odd Girl Out, and Cinderella Ate My Daughter compassionately investigate these issues by matching extensive research with teens' own voices.
This is not one of those books. Instead, it was chock-full of reactionary drivel, conservatism, and exactly the kind of exaggerated hype the authors accuse the media of perpetrating. The young people they "spoke" to did not appear to be a balanced sample, and the research is shoddy at best. I was pretty frustrated that something like this, which aims to explore the issue of sensationalism, only perpetuates the most harmful of its elements.
Very frustrating.
July 2, 2014
I recieved a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review
Well i was a little excited to read this book since i have a soon to be 12 year old and any information on this teen sex stuff is always wonderful.
This book is based around teen sex. From rainbow parties, Where girls where different colored lip stick and perform oral sex on the same boy and the boy will have a rainbow on his penis, to colored jelly bracelets where boys break them off and the girl has to do what that color bracelet is.
But the sad part is, nothing of this is true. This information is based on polls/questionnaires they have on-line for this kids.
are kids really answering these questions or are adults posing as kids...
not a very good book.
Well i was a little excited to read this book since i have a soon to be 12 year old and any information on this teen sex stuff is always wonderful.
This book is based around teen sex. From rainbow parties, Where girls where different colored lip stick and perform oral sex on the same boy and the boy will have a rainbow on his penis, to colored jelly bracelets where boys break them off and the girl has to do what that color bracelet is.
But the sad part is, nothing of this is true. This information is based on polls/questionnaires they have on-line for this kids.
are kids really answering these questions or are adults posing as kids...
not a very good book.
July 22, 2014
This title was big huge meh for me and it was because it didn't really seem to be the balanced look at teen sex it claimed to be but more a look at urban legends and folklore. The authors claimed certain aspects like rainbow parties and jelly bracelets were myth while sexting wasn't really as bad as the media hyped it up to be.
This might be true, but I would have liked to have seen them dig a bit more than they did. For a book under 200 pages it felt rushed and sloppy. This book might be interesting to a parent possibly but for me it was a DNF and a do not buy.
*I got this book as a digital ARC from Net Galley in exchange for an open and honest review.*
This might be true, but I would have liked to have seen them dig a bit more than they did. For a book under 200 pages it felt rushed and sloppy. This book might be interesting to a parent possibly but for me it was a DNF and a do not buy.
*I got this book as a digital ARC from Net Galley in exchange for an open and honest review.*
September 21, 2014
I have had the pleasure of working with preteens and teens for some time and had to face very early on the question of sex. I believe this topic should not be a shameful one that needs to be hidden away. Rather it should be discussed openly with wisdom, and tact.
Furthermore, preteens and teens have the right to wonder about something that is a healthy part of everyone’s life. This is all the more important for religious preteens and teens. How are they going to be able to make informed decisions about sex and chastity if they have no one to help them sift through the oversexualised images that bombard us daily?
Not that it’s easy! I have often floundered, especially the first times I was asked about sex by kids only a few years younger than me. I have a lot to learn when it comes to discussing the topic with preteens and teens, which is exciting. Unfortunately, it’s also quite lonely a road, as I have yet to find a group of youth and adults I can discuss this with openly. Ironically enough, this helps me to relate even more with the preteens and teens that I work with, as neither they nor I have a safe group where we can discuss these things openly. Thankfully, we have each other, but what about all the other preteens, teens, and adults working with them who don’t have anyone?
It comes as no surprise that I, bookworm extraordinaire and eternal nerd, would turn to a book like Kids Gone Wild: From Rainbow Parties to Sexting, Understanding the Hype Over Teen Sex, by Joel Best and Kathleen A. Bogle. This one made the cut partly because of its title. Oftentimes, titles about preteens, teens and, sexuality are centered around either girls or boys, whereas the conversation should embrace both genders. I also picked it up because just like many others in North America, I have heard horrific stories about rainbow parties and sex bracelets, but have yet to meet a preteen, teen, or freshly minted adult who has ever engaged in such practices. Granted, this is a totally unscientific population sample for so many reasons (would they have told me about this, however close we are? Do I even know a statistically significant number of preteens, teens, and freshly minted adults?), but it still got me wondering.
In Kids Gone Wild, authors Best and Bogle explore what is known about these contemporary legends and how the media perpetuates them while debating their authenticity, resulting in confusion amongst media consumers. It is an intriguing exploration into how such stories spread, the extent of their geographical reach, and how they can morph as they travel from one medium to another, playing a big game of “Telephone” with important consequences. They discuss how viewing kids and teenagers as being “out of control” fuels the debate on sex education and affects policy decisions on a range of things such as the availability of the morning after pill to sex offender registries inclusion criteria.
I have another unscientific personal theory, one that seems to be reflected somewhat in the pages of this book. Historically – or rather, prehistorically – survival depending on imagining and acting on the worse possible case scenario. My personal, unfounded theory goes on to posit that today, this survival technique translates into anxiety and sensationalism, to the point that we are keen to believe just about anything that triggers our anxieties. The deeper the anxiety triggered, the keener we are to believe the message. As survival depends on the next generation, a deep instinct all species have is to protect their young. Therefore one of our deepest fears is that the next generation will not carrying forth our civilization.
Perhaps this is why stories about teenagers’ sexuality capture our attention and appear on so many media outlets, even as research shows that teen sex is not as rampant as we would think and teen pregnancy is at low levels.
The way Best and Bogle describe the spread of these stories is fascinating and a little alarming. Why do they generate such media traffic? Are they even real, or are they only rumors? What is it about them that they travel like wildfire across not only the country but the globe? After all, the preteen and teenage years are some of the precious years of our lives, in which we have the time, the optimism, and the strength of our beliefs to contribute decisively to the betterment of society. How does one go from picturing them as our bright and promising future to sex crazed maniacs?
Because according to mainstream media and news shows such as CNN, The Today Show, and the New York Times, the sex lives of modern teenagers would give the most vulgar television shows a run for their money. “Sexting” explicit photos; wearing “sex bracelets” to show what sexual activities they have done or are willing to do; performing oral sex at “rainbow parties”; forming “pregnancy pacts” to become mothers at the same time – I don’t know about you, but this does not sound like any of the hundreds of teenagers I have worked within the last ten years. And I feel fairly confident I would not have reacted well to such a description of my friends and me when I was in that age range, and I am concerned about the way teenagers today feel when they see themselves described as such.
Even if the teenagers in our immediate surroundings – our families and our community – might not be of “that” type, no doubt we treat them differently if we see them as potential raging sex maniacs. After all, our actions are heavily coloured by our beliefs. Two potential changes in our behaviour is that we are not going to trust them as much as they deserve, and we are going to try to control them more than they need to be. The way we interact with them when they broach the topic of sex will also be affected. Instead of seeing them as mature, growing, and responsible, the red alarm that is going to go on loudly in our minds (which could sound something like OMG-HE-ASKED-ME-ABOUT-SEX-WHY-WHAT-DOES-HE-HAVE-IN-MIND) will create an environment suitable for such sensitive discussions.
The book resonated the same way articles such as the one by Ian Kerner did. In his article, In an era of raunch, how to raise a gentleman, he shared the following list of tips in dealing with the sex question when it comes to your offspring: “Talk about sex. The information is out there… Don’t avoid the talk, embrace it... Help your children decode the media... Stay in tune with their world. Talk to his teachers and other parents to get a sense of what’s happening in and out of the classroom. Let him make mistakes... You can’t shut the world out, but you can help him live in it. You can’t stop your boy from seeing the world around him. But you can change how he looks at it.” Such a process implies two things: that the parent is objective, calm, and collected and believes that their offspring is inherently a noble being. And to have these two elements present in a relationship between an adult and a preteen or teenager, the adult cannot believe that the preteen or teenager is defined by his or her lower instincts.
It seems that every generation panics when the generation following it pushes the boundaries of what it considered appropriate. Questioning these boundaries is healthy, as is redrawing them. However, it should be done wisely, which requires factual evidence and a cool, analytical head. No doubt sexuality will continue to change, ebbing and flowing with the times, but there is no doubt in my mind that, with a healthy conversation on the matter, it can evolve in a way that preserves the nobility of man.
Kids Gone Wild is a great read that allows us to look beyond the sensationalism in our culture and see what kids and teenagers are really about, as well as exploring the consequences when a society seems determined to believe the worst about its young people. It is the kind of book we need to read and analyse, which will equip up to talk about such sensitive issues more comfortably and without judgment. This in turn will help us understand reality for what it is, rather as we are told by the media it is. And hopefully understanding our preteens and teenagers for what they are, an integral part of the solution, will help create an environment of trust in which sexuality can become a topic that is comfortably addressed.
First published at http://blogcritics.org/book-review-ki... and at http://www.saharsreviews.com/book-rev....
Furthermore, preteens and teens have the right to wonder about something that is a healthy part of everyone’s life. This is all the more important for religious preteens and teens. How are they going to be able to make informed decisions about sex and chastity if they have no one to help them sift through the oversexualised images that bombard us daily?
Not that it’s easy! I have often floundered, especially the first times I was asked about sex by kids only a few years younger than me. I have a lot to learn when it comes to discussing the topic with preteens and teens, which is exciting. Unfortunately, it’s also quite lonely a road, as I have yet to find a group of youth and adults I can discuss this with openly. Ironically enough, this helps me to relate even more with the preteens and teens that I work with, as neither they nor I have a safe group where we can discuss these things openly. Thankfully, we have each other, but what about all the other preteens, teens, and adults working with them who don’t have anyone?
It comes as no surprise that I, bookworm extraordinaire and eternal nerd, would turn to a book like Kids Gone Wild: From Rainbow Parties to Sexting, Understanding the Hype Over Teen Sex, by Joel Best and Kathleen A. Bogle. This one made the cut partly because of its title. Oftentimes, titles about preteens, teens and, sexuality are centered around either girls or boys, whereas the conversation should embrace both genders. I also picked it up because just like many others in North America, I have heard horrific stories about rainbow parties and sex bracelets, but have yet to meet a preteen, teen, or freshly minted adult who has ever engaged in such practices. Granted, this is a totally unscientific population sample for so many reasons (would they have told me about this, however close we are? Do I even know a statistically significant number of preteens, teens, and freshly minted adults?), but it still got me wondering.
In Kids Gone Wild, authors Best and Bogle explore what is known about these contemporary legends and how the media perpetuates them while debating their authenticity, resulting in confusion amongst media consumers. It is an intriguing exploration into how such stories spread, the extent of their geographical reach, and how they can morph as they travel from one medium to another, playing a big game of “Telephone” with important consequences. They discuss how viewing kids and teenagers as being “out of control” fuels the debate on sex education and affects policy decisions on a range of things such as the availability of the morning after pill to sex offender registries inclusion criteria.
I have another unscientific personal theory, one that seems to be reflected somewhat in the pages of this book. Historically – or rather, prehistorically – survival depending on imagining and acting on the worse possible case scenario. My personal, unfounded theory goes on to posit that today, this survival technique translates into anxiety and sensationalism, to the point that we are keen to believe just about anything that triggers our anxieties. The deeper the anxiety triggered, the keener we are to believe the message. As survival depends on the next generation, a deep instinct all species have is to protect their young. Therefore one of our deepest fears is that the next generation will not carrying forth our civilization.
Perhaps this is why stories about teenagers’ sexuality capture our attention and appear on so many media outlets, even as research shows that teen sex is not as rampant as we would think and teen pregnancy is at low levels.
The way Best and Bogle describe the spread of these stories is fascinating and a little alarming. Why do they generate such media traffic? Are they even real, or are they only rumors? What is it about them that they travel like wildfire across not only the country but the globe? After all, the preteen and teenage years are some of the precious years of our lives, in which we have the time, the optimism, and the strength of our beliefs to contribute decisively to the betterment of society. How does one go from picturing them as our bright and promising future to sex crazed maniacs?
Because according to mainstream media and news shows such as CNN, The Today Show, and the New York Times, the sex lives of modern teenagers would give the most vulgar television shows a run for their money. “Sexting” explicit photos; wearing “sex bracelets” to show what sexual activities they have done or are willing to do; performing oral sex at “rainbow parties”; forming “pregnancy pacts” to become mothers at the same time – I don’t know about you, but this does not sound like any of the hundreds of teenagers I have worked within the last ten years. And I feel fairly confident I would not have reacted well to such a description of my friends and me when I was in that age range, and I am concerned about the way teenagers today feel when they see themselves described as such.
Even if the teenagers in our immediate surroundings – our families and our community – might not be of “that” type, no doubt we treat them differently if we see them as potential raging sex maniacs. After all, our actions are heavily coloured by our beliefs. Two potential changes in our behaviour is that we are not going to trust them as much as they deserve, and we are going to try to control them more than they need to be. The way we interact with them when they broach the topic of sex will also be affected. Instead of seeing them as mature, growing, and responsible, the red alarm that is going to go on loudly in our minds (which could sound something like OMG-HE-ASKED-ME-ABOUT-SEX-WHY-WHAT-DOES-HE-HAVE-IN-MIND) will create an environment suitable for such sensitive discussions.
The book resonated the same way articles such as the one by Ian Kerner did. In his article, In an era of raunch, how to raise a gentleman, he shared the following list of tips in dealing with the sex question when it comes to your offspring: “Talk about sex. The information is out there… Don’t avoid the talk, embrace it... Help your children decode the media... Stay in tune with their world. Talk to his teachers and other parents to get a sense of what’s happening in and out of the classroom. Let him make mistakes... You can’t shut the world out, but you can help him live in it. You can’t stop your boy from seeing the world around him. But you can change how he looks at it.” Such a process implies two things: that the parent is objective, calm, and collected and believes that their offspring is inherently a noble being. And to have these two elements present in a relationship between an adult and a preteen or teenager, the adult cannot believe that the preteen or teenager is defined by his or her lower instincts.
It seems that every generation panics when the generation following it pushes the boundaries of what it considered appropriate. Questioning these boundaries is healthy, as is redrawing them. However, it should be done wisely, which requires factual evidence and a cool, analytical head. No doubt sexuality will continue to change, ebbing and flowing with the times, but there is no doubt in my mind that, with a healthy conversation on the matter, it can evolve in a way that preserves the nobility of man.
Kids Gone Wild is a great read that allows us to look beyond the sensationalism in our culture and see what kids and teenagers are really about, as well as exploring the consequences when a society seems determined to believe the worst about its young people. It is the kind of book we need to read and analyse, which will equip up to talk about such sensitive issues more comfortably and without judgment. This in turn will help us understand reality for what it is, rather as we are told by the media it is. And hopefully understanding our preteens and teenagers for what they are, an integral part of the solution, will help create an environment of trust in which sexuality can become a topic that is comfortably addressed.
First published at http://blogcritics.org/book-review-ki... and at http://www.saharsreviews.com/book-rev....
July 3, 2016
Here’s another popular (but unproven) claim: Kids these days are out of control! Traditional media sources and social media sites tend to contribute to the mania surrounding this claim as well as others about kids and sex. But how much truth is there to the stories you hear on the morning news? In "Kids Gone Wild," Joel Best and Kathleen Bogle examine a few specific stories that have gotten lots of coverage in the last decade or so. Two of them are classified as contemporary legends, or what you might think of as an urban myth. Those are sex bracelets (the supposed assigning of sexual acts to different colors of jelly bracelets, and an obligation to perform said act when the band is snapped) and rainbow parties (which involve multiple people, oral sex, and different colors of lipstick). A third is that of “sexting,” or sending explicit photos or texts using cell phones. The authors examine all of these topics in depth, discussing whether or not they actually happen and what proof there is one way or the other. The results show that, not surprisingly, the fears of these kinds of sexual practices are more than a bit overblown. This book is a good dose of reality for concerned parents.
Originally written for San Francisco Book Review.
Originally written for San Francisco Book Review.
October 3, 2014
What can I say? I found this book repetitive, based largely around disproven urban myths and generally exploiting sensationalised headlines to grab attention.
I'm sure there is a market for books aimed at parents around what is the 'normal' sexual activity for a teen (although why any parent would want to scare themselves half to death is beyond me) but Kids Gone Wild discussing sex bracelets and rainbow parties...I'm sorry, but these are not what you as Mums and Dads need to be worried about. If as a parent you teach them about safe sex and self respect, you are doing it right. This book refers to media bringing activities like sexting to the fore, yet that is exactly what this is doing under the guise of '(s)experts educating parents'.
Personally, I cannot think of anyone I would recommend this to, unless they were writing a thesis on the subject of teens sexual activity.
I'm sure there is a market for books aimed at parents around what is the 'normal' sexual activity for a teen (although why any parent would want to scare themselves half to death is beyond me) but Kids Gone Wild discussing sex bracelets and rainbow parties...I'm sorry, but these are not what you as Mums and Dads need to be worried about. If as a parent you teach them about safe sex and self respect, you are doing it right. This book refers to media bringing activities like sexting to the fore, yet that is exactly what this is doing under the guise of '(s)experts educating parents'.
Personally, I cannot think of anyone I would recommend this to, unless they were writing a thesis on the subject of teens sexual activity.
April 14, 2015
Reading Kids Gone Wild by Joel Best and Kathleen A. Bogle felt a lot like reading a very long term paper. I can’t say as I learned much new, but then again I have teens and we talk media and culture all the time with them. I think this is a good stepping off point for people who are beginning to look at teens and their habits, especially in light of media reports. The book is well written if slightly repetitive in places. Overall, it was worth my time and energy.
An honest review in exchange for an ARC via netgalley.com 4/15/15
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An honest review in exchange for an ARC via netgalley.com 4/15/15
www.netgalley.com
www.meesh-stuff@tumblr.com
www.goodreads.com
www.amazon.com
www.facebook.com
www.linkedin.com
December 27, 2015
Very academic
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews