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Feminism and Men

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What is men's position in the feminist story? Are men villains or victims? Whilst the answer is both and neither both genders are still seen in terms of these kinds of unhelpful categories and while feminist waves have ensured that in theory at least, many women are now able to do the things that used to be done only by men, the reality of how men are seen and see themselves has changed very little across the globe.

Many young women exist in a world very different from that of their grandmothers. In many countries they can vote and stand for Parliament, earn money, have the choice of who they want to marry, or whether to marry or not. In others, there has been a backlash against these rights, but even here, most women recognise that these rights exist even if they cannot claim them. But what about men? Though they still hold the power in the boardroom, in parliament and often in the family too, their attitudes towards women - and towards themselves - have often changed very little over the decades. Has feminism itself left some men confused and others angry with concerns that 'men are losing out'?

256 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2014

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Nikki van der Gaag

18 books5 followers

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5 stars
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
Profile Image for Shakiba Bahrami.
319 reviews89 followers
April 21, 2022
بالاخره این کتاب هم تموم شد.
قصد دارم چندماه داستان نخونم؛ نه رمان، نه داستان کوتاه.
فکر میکردم کتاب قراره فقط مردان رو با فمینیسم آشتی بده ولی بخش‌های بیشتری داشت:
خشونت علیه مردان
تاثیر شغل و نگرش جامعه روی روان مردان
چرخه‌ی خشونت(مثلا بخش تازه‌ش برای من این بود که علت عمر کوتاه‌تر مردان رو از جنبه‌های مختلف بررسی کرد؛ نه فقط بخش خودکشی و فشار روانی)

تاکید اصلی کتاب روی آموزشه. مجازات افراد آزارگر طبیعیه اما مجازات به تنهایی باعث کاهش آزار در جامعه نمیشه. به نظرم ایران خیلی این رو کم داره.
ریشه‌یابی اینکه مردی که خشونت می‌ورزه(یا کلا انسانی که دست به خشونت میزنه) آیا قبلتر تحت خشونت بوده؟
کتاب هر پاراگرافش رفرنس داده و اسم انجمن‌های مردانگی زیادی رو آورده که سراسر دنیا برای برابری جنسیتی تلاش میکنن و هدفشون حفظ موقعیت خودشون با تخریب فمینیسم نیست.

البته بعضی از بخش‌ها رو که می‌خوندم، می‌دیدم کتاب حتی در بخشی که به پاکستان و هند می‌پردازه، فقر و ظلم سیستماتیک رو کلا نادیده گرفته.
توی کشوری که یک پسر قبل از خروج از دوران کودکی(۱۸ سالگی) ترس سربازی اجباری توی جونش میاد و از طرفی برای جلوگیری از خشونت علیه زنان هم نه قانون درستی هست، نه آموزش درستی (جدای از فشار روانی افسانه‌ی "مرد باید خشن باشه وگرنه مرد نیست" و آبرو) خروج همه‌مون از چرخه‌ی خشونت خیلی دور از دسترس به نظر میرسه.

به هر حال اگه کسی میخواد نگاه وسیعتری به مشکلاتی که سر راه برابری هست بندازه، این کتاب برای اون نوشته شده:)
Profile Image for Claire.
13 reviews
September 8, 2015
I strongly recommend this for all the the feminists who are sick of being accused of hating men. As well as the men who are curious about how feminism applies to them.


The book explores a range of topics, the ways feminist helps men, but also the ways men need more help and support. It does acknowledge Men's Rights groups, but mostly expresses disappointment that those groups often encourage negative relations between men and women, and ultimately do not make men happy.


It examines masculinity and men's perceived role in society, and how it affects education, fatherhood, and relationships with women.

I also liked how this book wasn't particularly focused on western cultures, the author spoke to men and women around the world and uses sources from numerous countries. We learn how men are becoming less violent to women with the help of groups in places like India, Rwanda, and Brazil.

The author comes to the conclusion that men are very much needed in feminism, we can't achieve a fair and equal society of genders are kept divided, or feel they are competing for limited resources.
Profile Image for Riccardo.
89 reviews
June 4, 2022
Feminism has reached a major obstacle in its march for gender equality and this obstacle is men. What is meant in this case is not the usual "men oppress women", but rather "men are not involved in the discussion for gender equality"

This book advocates for the participation of men in the feminist movement. It suggests that men find new meaningful masculinities and engage into a process parallel to the one carried on by women in the last 50 years.

All the usual anti-feminist arguments (men are victim of violence, the bread-winning role is also a sacrifice, etc) are here displayed as good reasons for men to fight for paternal leave, for an end to toxic masculinity, and for a more equal world TOGETHER with women instead of against them.

I read this book in seach of guidance on how to be a feminist man; I was not disappointed. Nevertheless, I do not feel I learned more about how gender equality benefits men; this could be because I was already informed on the topic. What this read did give me was a bird's eye view on the struggle of women worldwide and on the importance of involving men in building a equal future together.
Profile Image for Helen Wishart.
3 reviews3 followers
December 30, 2014
I strongly recommend this book, which explores the multitude of reasons why it is essential that men are involved in the fight to achieve gender equality, and the ways in which active participation in improving the rights of women will be of long term and lasting benefit to both sexes on a global scale.
196 reviews1 follower
December 30, 2021
I'm not sure exactly when I became interested in feminism and women's issues, but it has been a few years now, and I have reviewed a couple of books on the subject before. This book was different however as it discussed the roles men play and should play in supporting this cause.

The book starts off by discussing the obvious binaries of women and men, and then shifts into social and cultural attitudes, education and health, the work paradigm, the fatherhood revolution, then men and violence, and finally becoming connected.

All the information in this book is valuable, and the numerous examples of experiences from other countries and cultures gives the reader information on how other people see women that is typically rarely if ever spoken about. The experiences of the various men interviewed is also enlightening as their perspective, as well as how they are treated after they begin supporting women is extremely interesting as well.

The books I've read and reviewed before were all written by women, and while that is true in the case as well the author's inclusion of the male perspective was very eye opening to say the least.

Highly recommended.
119 reviews1 follower
July 23, 2020
If you ever wanted to put the meat on the bones of the HeforShe campaign, this is the book for you. A wide-ranging analysis of feminism and the impact it can have on men and vice versa, for the benefit of all.

Looking at global issues and possible solutions, the book is easy to read and difficult to put down. It is stuffed full of references, meaning lots more reading and learning.

The book does not limit itself to 'first world' examples and is much the better for it, as it shows the diversity of influences on people's actions and behavior. Indeed, the so called 'third world' has many lessons to teach the rest of us.

A must read.


Profile Image for alina.
98 reviews48 followers
May 21, 2022
i don't know how to feel about this book. 3.5 stars for me
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews

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