The Art of Family: Rituals, Imagination, and Everyday Spirituality

by Gina Bria

"It is not the lack of time that crushes our family lives, it is the lack of presence, stricken as we are with the tasks, anxieties and guilt of being in a family. But in between what we all struggle the parenting, spousing, cleaning up, working, and carving out a minute or two for yourself, how do you give yourself to your children in the conditions you find yourself in? This is by being present--not in every moment (we're tired enough!)--but in key activities such as play, spiritual discussions, tender physical attention and little daily rituals that can see us through the pace of life today to a strong, coherent, lived family life."

Gina Bria knows how to talk to families and make them listen and think. With a tone that is at once authoritative and compassionate, she gives us the steps for creating families that withstand the pressures of modern society. The key is to create a personal family culture around the domestic rituals associated with family, such as making your home your true haven from the outside world, really understanding how to play with your children and in your marriage, caring for each others' bodies--young and old, and finding a spiritual path to travel together. In essence, Bria shows us how to assign particular and special meaning to the everyday tasks that make up our home life and in so doing, build a family that can withstand the daily example of conformity, rejection and disillusion.

Genres: Parenting, Spirituality, Nonfiction, Family

224 pages, Paperback

First published May 11, 1998

Reviews

[Kristen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book breathes imagination and spirituality into the most quotidian aspects of family life. Written by an anthropologist, the tone and format is unique and interesting. It's organized into sections by theme and within each section are dozens of meditations -- as short as a paragraph or two but no more than a few pages, which makes it a perfect book to pick up when you have a moment of quiet, but not much longer.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not much of a reader of parenting books. There are a few reasons for this: 1) non-fiction books bore me 2) I don't like to be told what to do and 3) I have found parenting to be more detective work than formula following. Many parenting books seem to want the reader to believe that if they do A, B and C, then X, Y and Z will happen. Instead of writing a book about inputs and outputs, in The Art of Family Gina Bria has written a book about imagination and faith and how the two weave together to bolster, support and give life to family.

Bria looks specifically at play, spirituality, physicality, home, ritual and marriage. My friend who recommended this book to me told me specifically about the chapter on play and how convicting she found it. Yet it was the chapter on home that convicted me. Most of the other chapters encouraged me rather than convicted me. While I'm not exactly a playful mom, I think I am learning how to play and I've certainly fostered an environment of play for my daughters. There's always more I could do in the areas of spirituality, nurturing the physical body and creating rituals for our family, but as I read this book, I felt encouraged. Encouraged that while my home might not be the cleanest or most organized on my block, I am getting some things right in the art of our family.

Throughout this book, Bria refers to spirituality rather than a specific type of faith. I especially liked this because I have found Christian books to often espouse a very specific strain of faith that is far different from my own set of beliefs - and therefore is more alienating than reading a non-Christian book. I found Bria's faith as expressed in her thoughts on family to be gentle, encouraging and thoughtful. Rarely (if ever) does she tell you what you should do with your family. Instead, she uses her training as an anthropologist to paint a picture of what family is and what it can be.

If you're looking for a book to address a specific parenting problem, you might be better off with a book that has more specificity and fewer broad strokes. But if you're looking for a book to inspire you to see parenting as more than a series of daily chores completed ad infinitum, I highly recommend this book. Read it slowly because it's worth savoring, pondering and contemplating.

[Alice · Rating 5 out of 5]

I flew through this book and loved every page! Nita Andrews recommended it when we asked her about parenting books. Because it is about family, when it covers imagination, play and touch, it is framed in the context of all family relationships. The encouragement, hope and ideas I found here for building a lasting family unit that grows along with our marriage and our children will continue to shape this house.

[Molly · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was inspirational and enjoyable overall, though I was hoping for more ritual (rather than descriptions of how bedtime can be a ritual) in terms of actual ceremony (there is none). A very lyrical writing style and gentle reminders about what really matters in family life. The book ended abruptly and I was actually briefly convinced I'd received a partial edition somehow.

[Claudia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Intelligent perspective on the "how to" of family life: integrating imagination, culture, and play in the building of a family. The book doesn't just focus on kids, which is refreshing, given the types of books that tend to fall into this genre.

[B.j. Larson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book came to me as a new parent. I now have adolescent children and it continues to be an encouragement to focus on helping our family love and enjoy each other. It has been a significant tool and a gift for me in these years and I'm thankful for it's insight and wisdom.

[Chandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's always good to get some fresh ideas

[Savitha Krishna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Instead of giving people "what to expect when expecting" or other banal pregnancy book, I think this book is far more useful. My new go to gift for first time parents.

[Jenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I LOVED the start, but it dragged for me towards the end.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an excellent social distancing/isolation read!

[Laura Clawson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love her ideas of creating rituals as a family and the spiritual nature of imagination. Quite a few typos, unfortunately. If you can look past them, its a helpful read.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this with a few other moms and enjoyed the ideas and discussion that followed. It feels a little patchwork at times, but by the time I finished it I appreciated some overall themes and take-aways that had solidified for me. It's a unique book, and I think most people would appreciate the fresh inspiration for creating and preserving a family that it offers.

[Laura Weston · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are some parts of this book that I really loved but the bulk of it could have been some simple blog posts but were drawn out for the sake of publication. And I think most of it could be summed up neatly by just saying, "Be genuine in every relationship you have--especially familial ones." Boom.

[Julie Hunt]

Beautiful. Centering. A Classic.