The Vinyl Diaries: Sex, Deep Cuts, and My Soundtrack to Queer Joy

by Pete Crighton

A poignant, funny, and lively memoir of sexual awakening, music, and discovering one's true self.

Pete Crighton came of age in the early/mid 1980s in the shadow of HIV/AIDS. Growing up in Toronto, he was terrified that his friends and schoolmates would find out that he was “different” at a time when being gay felt like a death sentence. His only comfort was music, the songs a balm to his painful adolescence. 

Struggling to make sense of his sexuality and fear of the disease stifled Crighton as a sexual being. Instead of exploring sex, he began curating a massive music library. He then took what he thought was a safe path and entered into two long-term monogamous relationships, both doomed to fail. Finally, in his 40s, Crighton decided to ignore his fear and live his queer life to the fullest.

The Vinyl Diaries is the story of Crighton’s mid-life sexual awakening. From one-night trysts to friendships resulting from app-based hookups, Crighton is honest and unapologetic as he chronicles the pursuit of his erotic desires. Each new connection and lover is linked to an artist, song, or album from his vast collection and backdrops the stories Crighton tells about his life, interconnected with the artists' work and histories. Kate Bush, the B-52s, Prince, The Smiths, Yoko Ono, and Stevie Nicks are just a few of the artists who provide an extraordinary soundtrack to Crighton’s adventures.

Big-hearted, funny, thoughtful, and wildly entertaining, The Vinyl Diaries is a celebration of sex, music and the discovery of our true selves.

Genres: Memoir

332 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 13, 2025

Reviews

[The King · Rating 1 out of 5]

When this novel came across me on Instagram one morning I thought this is right up my alley - a man tracking his life through music, I can relate to this and was excited to dive in. That’s where it all ends for me. I have a really hard time reading a book about someone’s journey to discover self acceptance and dealing with trauma, when Peter comes across as the largest music snob known to mankind and craps on others who doesn’t have such “superb” music tastes as him. Music is subjective, so just because your musical tastes don’t align with someone else’s doesn’t mean you have better musical tastes. The way he discounts pop artists is something that should be studied in schools. The way he preaches in his book about acceptance but then talks about how the last straw with one of his many hook ups was because they liked Celine Dion’s French album? Maybe living through the AIDS epidemic and not wanting to be labeled as gay was traumatic for him, so his mechanism to avoid that was to listen to a different style of music, but don’t discredit every other commercial artist who put in the work. He craps on Madonna, my friend Madonna was one of the very few artists out there in the 80s supporting the gay community alongside the likes of Cyndi Lauper. Or to discredit artists like Britney, Mariah, or Gaga - all of these artists provided a legion of fans safe spaces to connect with one another and feel safe. Just because a song or album sells a million copies doesn’t mean the quality of the work is bad.

My second issue with this novel is the amount of times he had to profess that he was hooking up with younger guys. Okay the first couple times he mentions it, you’re like good for you dude go get em, but as it continued for more than half the book, you think to yourself “we get it, it’s becoming borderline creepy now”. Also it seemed like everytime he was about to get into the sack with someone they always miraculously ended up at his wall of vinyl records, every hook up the same - became ridiculously repetitive.

[Bettys Book Club · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my heart—this book completely swept me off my feet! I can’t even begin to explain how much I adored it. Every page was a precious diary entry, one that I didn’t want to end. It’s the kind of memoir that grabs you by the soul and doesn’t let go. Each chapter is a perfect little time capsule, with a song setting the tone for Pete’s raw and honest journey.

Pete’s story of growing up in Toronto in the 80s and 90s, grappling with his identity and his place in the world, is so real and so beautifully written. It hits you deep in the chest, especially when you remember just how terrifying and isolating it was to be a gay man during the rise of AIDS and the cruel ignorance surrounding it. You can feel the weight of that fear, and Pete’s vulnerability makes every struggle so much more powerful.

The way each chapter unfolds is a love letter to the artists who helped shape Pete’s life. The music—Prince, Kate Bush, The B-52s, The Smiths—each song is more than just a backdrop; it’s a heartbeat, a guide through his relationships, his heartbreaks, and his personal evolution. The way these songs are woven into his narrative will make you experience them in a whole new light.

And oh, the emotional rollercoaster! My heart was in my throat for Pete’s relationship with Dustin—I was rooting for them with everything I had.

If you’re looking for a book that will make you feel—and I mean truly feel—this is it. It’s a beautifully emotional ride that will leave you with a warm, hopeful heart.

[Troy]

an honest and sincere work of memoir that connects the authors passion for music and accounts of his newfound fervour for revitalizing his love and sex life - really enjoyed this!

[Angela James · Rating 4 out of 5]

It looks like this book is polarizing! How to decide whether you are likely to be a lover or a hater? This book is very much for you are a fan of: Toronto circa 2005 to 2020 (especially if you carry nostalgia for various beloved institutions no longer with us), strenuously and persuasively argued opinions on a broad range of music, descriptions of joyful friendships in a queer community, coming of age stories where the age is 50 or so and the main character is a man who is stepping into his creativity and fully owning his sexuality and, of course, spicy scenes featuring men lovin’ men. You may run into problems: if you are sensitive to even light mockery of Celine Dion, if frequent references to bicycles fill you with irrational irritation and if age-gap encounters are dealbreakers in your reading.

[Krys · Rating 2 out of 5]

The cliché is too obvious but I don't know how to compare this book to anything but the literary equivalent of a record skipping. With queerness, music, and Canadiana as the main subjects of this memoir I was really hoping to enjoy/relate to this, but I feel like I just made it out of the worst Groundhog Day variation yet.

Save for very few scattered recollections prior, it took up to the 73% mark of this book for the author to finally start telling stories that didn't follow the exact same format of: a young man from a dating app comes over to feverishly fuck the author > they look at his record collection > he 'teaches' this new lover about music he's shocked the new lover doesn't know—even though he dates nearly exclusively 20-somethings when he is nearly in his 50s. Repeat every 10-20 pages. I can't decide which aspect of being told this same basic story over and over again was more exasperating.

What sadly made it worse was an off-putting air of music snobbery from the author eschewing anything mainstream or popular, and just enough disparaging of some female artists or pitting them against each other to start to feel like that unique brand of cis gay men's misogyny that puts some women on pedestals while unduly scorning others, as if the former gives the latter a pass somehow.

I'm glad the author found himself throughout the process of his sexual journey, but a compelling read it did not make. Really disappointed with this one, I had such high hopes.

[Rachel Stienberg · Rating 2 out of 5]

I want to say this book is a vital chapter of Canadian queerness and queer culture, but honestly I hate this man on principle. For someone who moans and bitches about being crippled with self doubts and insecurities, he sure puts in every description of every physical dick he’s ever met. How many partners and dates did he bring to his wall of physical vinyl just to walk them through the art of listening to a specific band/singer? Eventually we were neck deep into what might’ve been the most cringy, inane mansplaining nonsense ever.
I wanted to enjoy this badly- vinyl, connecting points with specific artists over a person’s life… casual hate for America from a Canadian? All great things.
But personally Pete makes me want to throw hands and never listen to Kate Bush again.

[Matt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this book.

[Mike Mills · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed it for what it is. Nothing deep and revelatory. Though the shared music piqued my interest. But honestly, did every date really end in a musical epiphany? 2.5/5

[Fred · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pete Creighton’s The Vinyl Diaries: Sex, Deep Cuts, and My Soundtrack to Queer Joy feels a bit like listening to a record, with moments that are compelling snapshots into gay life; a song from a time that has the signature sound of its era. Yet for every compelling track, there’s one that passes by relatively unnoticed. And unfortunately, there are those that you just want skip entirely.

The best moments of this memoir are those when Pete transports the reader to a Toronto that no longer exists (RIP). Moments with his friend Carolyn playing music. His reminders throughout the novel of the lost generation of gay men and how the spectre of AIDS haunted his development into the man he is today. Connecting his journey with the music that anchored him throughout his life was engaging – this story wants you to listen to these songs, old favourites or new discoveries, as you read.

Where the book falters, and where I felt the desire to skip to the next song, was in the repetitive string of hook-up encounters that make up the bulk of the middle of the novel. The problem wasn’t the sex (if you want it, this book has it). There was just an interchangeable mundaneness to it all – after you’ve read the first three encounters, you’ve read them all.

While Pete discovers himself as a fully realized gay man, sex and all, I couldn’t help but sense a meanness in many of his encounters. Despite recognizing that many of these encounters were hook ups with no expectations for anything more, Pete depicts guys who didn’t connect with him for one way or another with disdain; "their loss". The bitterness towards some of his flings reveals more about Pete than the men themselves, and perhaps that is part of his ongoing journey.

Overall, the memoir provides an insightful look into Toronto’s past, an eclectic music scene, and a gay man’s journey to find himself but would have benefited from carving out the extraneous litany of Grindr encounters that did little to advance Pete’s story.

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

The connection of music and memories is so strong. While a heartfelt picture of being gay in the modern age of dating apps and introducing his young dates to music from his past, it was not the story I was expecting, I thought it would be a story similar to mine. I was born in 1968 and grew up just outside of Toronto surrounded by music, in my 20’s I had around 200 LPs and eventually 1500 CD’s which are the soundtrack of my life. Unlike Pete I found my tribe/chosen family at the age of sixteen and spent a large amt of my life in the bars and gay village of Toronto and the songs of that period bring back fond memories of great times and great friends and lovers many of which I have now lost due to age and AIDS.

[Mary-Margaret · Rating 5 out of 5]

I strongly suspect that this book either hits you in all the feels or it doesn’t. And for me, the vinyl diaries resonated so strongly with my own experiences as a queer woman struggling with her sexual orientation for so long.

At the end of almost every chapter I had an overwhelming desire to write a letter to the author responding to what he had shared with us. Because he had been so personal and so vulnerable…

I really loved it.

[Flungoutofspace (Chris) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I tried to stick this one out because I love getting new music recommendations and connecting memories to said music is the strength of the book, but I have to agree with other reviewers that the author comes across as insufferable. The musical snobbery, the name dropping of his oh so amazing famous friends and the endless humble brag about his sexual conquests made for rather unpleasant reading, and ultimately I just didn’t care to finish it.

[Jeff · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like getting exposed to a set of songs and musicians that I wasn’t as familiar with. It was interesting to see how the author connected that to his adolescence and adulthood and other key moments in his life.

[Victoria · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

[Emily Posthumus · Rating 1 out of 5]

I found this boring. So much of it was just cataloguing younger guys he slept with. Not a lot of depth.

[Stan Barker · Rating 3 out of 5]

😬

[John Mutford · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a record collector and as someone who came out at middle age, I related to and enjoyed this book a lot. Towards the end though the navel gazing became repetitive and a tad annoying. Like a great song that just overstayed its welcome by a few minutes.

[Christopher · Rating 3 out of 5]

my streaming library is much richer for having read this book. so much excellent music was talked about, and much knowledge about the musicians was generously and unpretentiously shared.