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In Repair
Nathaniel Conti doesn’t feel real when he’s alone. Maybe that’s why he has a reputation as a
troublemaker—he’ll do just about anything to have everyone’s eyes on him.
But things are about to change. Nathaniel is in his first year of college, flung into new circumstances with
new people to meet. There are public speaking classmates, lacrosse players—and then there’s the
aspiring photographer who asks Nathaniel to be their model, who’s interested in more than what’s on
the surface. Nathaniel feels like he’s moving forward—until a former friend shows up, someone who
reminds him of habits and hurts he thought he’d left behind.
From the author of Icebreaker comes a deeply felt, gorgeously told story about confronting what's
buried, coming into your own, and finding your people.
troublemaker—he’ll do just about anything to have everyone’s eyes on him.
But things are about to change. Nathaniel is in his first year of college, flung into new circumstances with
new people to meet. There are public speaking classmates, lacrosse players—and then there’s the
aspiring photographer who asks Nathaniel to be their model, who’s interested in more than what’s on
the surface. Nathaniel feels like he’s moving forward—until a former friend shows up, someone who
reminds him of habits and hurts he thought he’d left behind.
From the author of Icebreaker comes a deeply felt, gorgeously told story about confronting what's
buried, coming into your own, and finding your people.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published May 14, 2024
15 people are currently reading
1756 people want to read
About the author
A.L. Graziadei
2 books690 followersA.L. Graziadei was born in Buffalo, New York and raised on Sabres hockey and video games, using their free time to write books inspired by both. Now living in Wisconsin, A.L. still plays plenty of video games and is a proud member of the Displaced Buffalo Sabres Fans group. Icebreaker is their first book.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 137 reviews
May 29, 2024
But I was a boy and no one thought to ask me.
I’m quietly sobbing and can’t control myself. The pressure in my chest is too much, the pain in my heart too heavy, and I want to dive into my ereader to kill someone, or hit my fists against the wall until they’re bleeding, but instead, I’m still crying.
Let’s start with the hard part. In Repair is about the worst childhood trauma. About past self-harm. About keeping pain buried far, far, far away. Until it skyrockets from its grave.
When I first saw the cover, I found it stunning. But now I’ve read the story, I can’t take my eyes off of it—beautiful, beautiful Nathaniel. The cover has so many layers. Pain. Hiding. Shining. Hope—sweet, sweet, sweet Nat. In Repair. That he is. Befriending those wonderful people, including Mickey and Jaysen. Digging up that box full of trauma and cracking the lid. Falling in love with himself again. And, of course, repairing that precious friendship between two boys. We need more of those friendships in books!
A couple of months ago, I read Stars in Your Eyes by Kacen Callender, and that one knocked me off my feet. And I think In Repair is the YA version. Both stories are not romances. Both stories are about almost unrepairable traumas and, first and foremost, about falling in love with yourself. So, if you loved Stars in Your Eyes and love YA stories too, please order In Repair! If you loved Icebreaker, please pick up this one too! And for the rest of you, if you can handle hard-hitting, beautifully written stories (check out the trigger warnings!!), please read this one!!
Thank you so much, Erin, from Macmillan International, for providing me with an ARC!
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I’m quietly sobbing and can’t control myself. The pressure in my chest is too much, the pain in my heart too heavy, and I want to dive into my ereader to kill someone, or hit my fists against the wall until they’re bleeding, but instead, I’m still crying.
Let’s start with the hard part. In Repair is about the worst childhood trauma. About past self-harm. About keeping pain buried far, far, far away. Until it skyrockets from its grave.
When I first saw the cover, I found it stunning. But now I’ve read the story, I can’t take my eyes off of it—beautiful, beautiful Nathaniel. The cover has so many layers. Pain. Hiding. Shining. Hope—sweet, sweet, sweet Nat. In Repair. That he is. Befriending those wonderful people, including Mickey and Jaysen. Digging up that box full of trauma and cracking the lid. Falling in love with himself again. And, of course, repairing that precious friendship between two boys. We need more of those friendships in books!
A couple of months ago, I read Stars in Your Eyes by Kacen Callender, and that one knocked me off my feet. And I think In Repair is the YA version. Both stories are not romances. Both stories are about almost unrepairable traumas and, first and foremost, about falling in love with yourself. So, if you loved Stars in Your Eyes and love YA stories too, please order In Repair! If you loved Icebreaker, please pick up this one too! And for the rest of you, if you can handle hard-hitting, beautifully written stories (check out the trigger warnings!!), please read this one!!
Thank you so much, Erin, from Macmillan International, for providing me with an ARC!
Follow me on Instagram
August 13, 2025
Criminaly underrated book when it comes to the portrayal of mental health issues in YA stories. Precious, essential reading. But boy, is it heavy.
In Repair is the equivalent of a long-concealed, irritated wound sloppily covered by a plaster, desperately in need of being ripped back open to let all the pus out before it can start the healing process properly. It’s necessary, but also agonizingly painful.
Nathaniel Conti is in his second semester of college, and he’s determined to have a good time. He’s extroverted to a toxic level and has an irrepressible need to stand out, to hoard all the attention he can get - no matter what kind (his criminal record speaks for itself).
Well. At least on the surface. This persona he portrays, from the emo/goth delinquent look to the cool devil-may-care slouch, is an armor and the only version of self he lets the world see. He deals, he manages. Hey, he even starts making friends and building connections that feel genuine!
And then a boy from his past, his ex-best friend, reappears in his life. And Nathaniel’s already shaky armor cracks down the middle, shattering.
(It’s not a bad thing. No matter how excruciating the process is.)
This story is hard-hitting right from the start, with no punches pulled. Starting as light poking at scars, then resorting to scratching the newly opened wounds, pouring a bit of salt at times, until you’re bleeding steadily, hurting all over. To be completely honest with you, it got progressively harder to breathe, and during the last hundred pages, I had to take a copious amount of breaks just to pull myself out of...kinda spiraling mental state.
In Repair deals with severe trauma from childhood that stayed buried, resulting in depression and overall decay of mental health. So while I found this story profoundly important in its representation of these issues, proceed with caution. Safety first ❤️
Nathaniel Conti, you beautiful BRAVE human being, you’ll always stay in my heart, safely tucked away. I cried so much for you when you couldn’t, and I smiled when you felt well enough to do so genuinely 🖤🤍
And not only Nathaniel. There’s such a heartwarming portrayal of friendship! A shining beacon in the dark, a lovely warmth that seeps right through your bones, bringing comfort and HOPE.
Tasha, Celeste, and Max, this group of queer kids, created a support system that hurts most beautifully, and with them by his side, Nathaniel is well and truly on his way to recovery (well, with them and finally some therapy).
So... Well. Just our daily reminder that depression has many faces. And sometimes, it’s the loudest troublemakers with a grin so big it looks like it must hurt. Never assume.
Content warnings listed by the author - implied past child SA, past self-harm, self-harm scars, dissociation, suicidal ideation, referenced past child abuse, referenced past suicide
In Repair is the equivalent of a long-concealed, irritated wound sloppily covered by a plaster, desperately in need of being ripped back open to let all the pus out before it can start the healing process properly. It’s necessary, but also agonizingly painful.
Nathaniel Conti is in his second semester of college, and he’s determined to have a good time. He’s extroverted to a toxic level and has an irrepressible need to stand out, to hoard all the attention he can get - no matter what kind (his criminal record speaks for itself).
Well. At least on the surface. This persona he portrays, from the emo/goth delinquent look to the cool devil-may-care slouch, is an armor and the only version of self he lets the world see. He deals, he manages. Hey, he even starts making friends and building connections that feel genuine!
And then a boy from his past, his ex-best friend, reappears in his life. And Nathaniel’s already shaky armor cracks down the middle, shattering.
(It’s not a bad thing. No matter how excruciating the process is.)
This story is hard-hitting right from the start, with no punches pulled. Starting as light poking at scars, then resorting to scratching the newly opened wounds, pouring a bit of salt at times, until you’re bleeding steadily, hurting all over. To be completely honest with you, it got progressively harder to breathe, and during the last hundred pages, I had to take a copious amount of breaks just to pull myself out of...kinda spiraling mental state.
In Repair deals with severe trauma from childhood that stayed buried, resulting in depression and overall decay of mental health. So while I found this story profoundly important in its representation of these issues, proceed with caution. Safety first ❤️
Nathaniel Conti, you beautiful BRAVE human being, you’ll always stay in my heart, safely tucked away. I cried so much for you when you couldn’t, and I smiled when you felt well enough to do so genuinely 🖤🤍
And not only Nathaniel. There’s such a heartwarming portrayal of friendship! A shining beacon in the dark, a lovely warmth that seeps right through your bones, bringing comfort and HOPE.
Tasha, Celeste, and Max, this group of queer kids, created a support system that hurts most beautifully, and with them by his side, Nathaniel is well and truly on his way to recovery (well, with them and finally some therapy).
So... Well. Just our daily reminder that depression has many faces. And sometimes, it’s the loudest troublemakers with a grin so big it looks like it must hurt. Never assume.
Content warnings listed by the author - implied past child SA, past self-harm, self-harm scars, dissociation, suicidal ideation, referenced past child abuse, referenced past suicide
February 22, 2026
Oh my heart! My sweet Nathaniel! 😭💔 This was an incredibly heavy read but also so hopeful and full of light. In Repair follows Nathaniel Conti as he navigates his freshmen year of college while trying to outrun his past trauma. Whether that be by standing out or blending in, he’s determined to try it all. Whatever it takes. This book made me feel every emotion possible. I could feel how much Nat wanted to just disappear, because that would be easier than facing it. I loved watching his growth as painful as the journey was. Tasha, Celeste, Max. The friendships were one of my favorite parts of the story. They were there for Nat until he was finally ready to show up for himself. Every step of the way. I loved Nat’s tenacity and the brilliant but heart wrenching portrayal of what it’s like to carry trauma. What a beautiful ending and what a beautiful book.
After reading Icebreaker and In Repair back to back, I am confident in saying I will read whatever A.L. Graziadei writes next. What an immense talent, I can’t wait to be heartbroken and healed by their words again and again and again and again. ❤️
After reading Icebreaker and In Repair back to back, I am confident in saying I will read whatever A.L. Graziadei writes next. What an immense talent, I can’t wait to be heartbroken and healed by their words again and again and again and again. ❤️
November 3, 2023
"But I was a boy and no one thought to ask me."
And the award for being able to break your readers multiple times and leave them sobbing yet somehow make it feel cathartic by the end goes to A.L. Graziadei 😌😭
And the award for being able to break your readers multiple times and leave them sobbing yet somehow make it feel cathartic by the end goes to A.L. Graziadei 😌😭
May 7, 2024
In Repair by A.L. Graziadei is beautifully written and emotionally devastating.
Nathaniel Conti doesn't feel real when he's alone, he needs to be seen. Well, the version of him he wants people to see, because underneath his eccentric persona, he's struggling. He's attending university where he almost accidentally makes friends who he's drawn to but also never feels worthy of. When he runs into an old friend from his past, it becomes even harder for Nathaniel to cope with his feelings of despair and guilt in relation to his past trauma.
Reading this book was hard. It deals with a lot of heavy topics like depression, childhood trauma, and suicidal ideation, and I highly recommend paying attention to the content warnings at the beginning of the book.
Icebreaker by the same author depicts depression in one of the more realistic ways I've read, and In Repair does the same - to an even deeper and and heavier extent. As someone who struggles with similar issues myself, I had to take several breaks while reading because some things hit too hard. Both for Nathaniel but they also felt too recognizable and I needed a breather.
Despite, or maybe because of, how heavy the book was, it was an incredible read. Being in Nathaniel's head felt harrowing at times, his feelings and thoughts were so raw, and you couldn't help but truly feel for him.
While the book was gut-wrenching, it was also hopeful. Nathaniel never feels worthy of good things but his new friends refuse to give up on him, something he's never experienced before. Watching him continue to struggle and fight to get better, even when he's been let down by so many people in his life, and the road to recovery is brutal and non-linear, felt both devastating and inspiring. He's *trying* and he's finally got people in his corner who're there for him, who he can't run off though he attempts to, and those friendships were so beautiful.
In Repair does an amazing job with themes like depression, childhood trauma, anxiety, loneliness, as well as the stigma surrounding CSA, especially for boys.
An incredible read that I highly recommend. Just make sure you're in the right headspace for it. I was fortunate enough to get both an eARC and audio ARC, and the narrator for the audiobook was fantastic.
In Repair by A.L. Graziadei // ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5
Thanks to Macmillan and Macmillan Audio for the ARC. In Repair is out May 14
"I don’t know who I am as a person, but whoever it is, I don’t think I like him very much. Or maybe, Sometimes I don’t feel real and, honestly, I think I prefer it that way."
Nathaniel Conti doesn't feel real when he's alone, he needs to be seen. Well, the version of him he wants people to see, because underneath his eccentric persona, he's struggling. He's attending university where he almost accidentally makes friends who he's drawn to but also never feels worthy of. When he runs into an old friend from his past, it becomes even harder for Nathaniel to cope with his feelings of despair and guilt in relation to his past trauma.
Reading this book was hard. It deals with a lot of heavy topics like depression, childhood trauma, and suicidal ideation, and I highly recommend paying attention to the content warnings at the beginning of the book.
Icebreaker by the same author depicts depression in one of the more realistic ways I've read, and In Repair does the same - to an even deeper and and heavier extent. As someone who struggles with similar issues myself, I had to take several breaks while reading because some things hit too hard. Both for Nathaniel but they also felt too recognizable and I needed a breather.
Despite, or maybe because of, how heavy the book was, it was an incredible read. Being in Nathaniel's head felt harrowing at times, his feelings and thoughts were so raw, and you couldn't help but truly feel for him.
"Because it happened to me too. But I was a boy, and no one thought to ask me."
While the book was gut-wrenching, it was also hopeful. Nathaniel never feels worthy of good things but his new friends refuse to give up on him, something he's never experienced before. Watching him continue to struggle and fight to get better, even when he's been let down by so many people in his life, and the road to recovery is brutal and non-linear, felt both devastating and inspiring. He's *trying* and he's finally got people in his corner who're there for him, who he can't run off though he attempts to, and those friendships were so beautiful.
In Repair does an amazing job with themes like depression, childhood trauma, anxiety, loneliness, as well as the stigma surrounding CSA, especially for boys.
"It's not that I actually want to die. Not really. It’s more that I don’t want to exist anymore. There’s a difference."
An incredible read that I highly recommend. Just make sure you're in the right headspace for it. I was fortunate enough to get both an eARC and audio ARC, and the narrator for the audiobook was fantastic.
In Repair by A.L. Graziadei // ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5
Thanks to Macmillan and Macmillan Audio for the ARC. In Repair is out May 14
November 19, 2024
When I found out A.L. Graziadei had written another book, I picked it up immediately. As a huge fan of Icebreaker I was really exited to pick this one up, hoping for the same gut-wrenching emotional read. Unfortunately while I didn't enjoy this one as much as the authors debut, I do appreciate what this book says.
🌟 3 stars 🌟
Content Warnings-Suicidal thoughts, panic attacks, ptsd, sexual assault, self-harm, swearing
Note- I've mentioned all the Content Warnings I noticed but there is no guarantee I haven't missed something.
In Repair is a story about our main character Nathaniel Conti, who's clearly struggling with his mental health. He tries to fill the void by being a troublemaker, attracting attention from others to feel less alone. As Nathaniel goes through his first year of college, he meets new friends, until someone from his past comes back into his life.
I liked In Repair for the most part. It's not an easy book to get through, but it's an important read. I liked Nathaniel's character and his voice, though I think this story could have been so much more. Something felt missing. I'm not sure if it was intentional considering the theme of the book, but I couldn't help but hope that it was more fleshed out. The side-characters were also great, but I found them slightly lacking. I also felt that the story shifted directions a lot the moment Nathaniel's former best friend came back.
Overall, while not the best read, I would still recommend In Repair to those interested.
Reviewed on 5th August, 2024.
DISCLAIMER-All opinions on books I’ve read and reviewed are my own, and are with no intention to offend anyone. If you feel offended by my reviews, let me know how I can fix it.
How I Rate-
1 star- Hardly liked anything/ was disappointed
2 star- Had potential but did not deliver/ was disappointed
3 stars- Was ok but could have been better/ was average / Enjoyed a lot but something was missing
4 stars- Loved a lot but something was missing
5 stars- Loved it/ new favourite
🌟 3 stars 🌟
Content Warnings-Suicidal thoughts, panic attacks, ptsd, sexual assault, self-harm, swearing
Note- I've mentioned all the Content Warnings I noticed but there is no guarantee I haven't missed something.
"But I was a boy, and no one thought to ask me."
In Repair is a story about our main character Nathaniel Conti, who's clearly struggling with his mental health. He tries to fill the void by being a troublemaker, attracting attention from others to feel less alone. As Nathaniel goes through his first year of college, he meets new friends, until someone from his past comes back into his life.
"I think you have fully built yourself on lies, Nathaniel Conti."
I liked In Repair for the most part. It's not an easy book to get through, but it's an important read. I liked Nathaniel's character and his voice, though I think this story could have been so much more. Something felt missing. I'm not sure if it was intentional considering the theme of the book, but I couldn't help but hope that it was more fleshed out. The side-characters were also great, but I found them slightly lacking. I also felt that the story shifted directions a lot the moment Nathaniel's former best friend came back.
"I can’t think of a single positive thing. I am not anything. I am nothing. I’m … Fuck. Who the fuck am I?"
Overall, while not the best read, I would still recommend In Repair to those interested.
Reviewed on 5th August, 2024.
DISCLAIMER-All opinions on books I’ve read and reviewed are my own, and are with no intention to offend anyone. If you feel offended by my reviews, let me know how I can fix it.
How I Rate-
1 star- Hardly liked anything/ was disappointed
2 star- Had potential but did not deliver/ was disappointed
3 stars- Was ok but could have been better/ was average / Enjoyed a lot but something was missing
4 stars- Loved a lot but something was missing
5 stars- Loved it/ new favourite
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February 9, 2025
Thank you so much to Godwin Books for sending me an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
In Repair is fine. Just fine.
I wanted to be wowed. I wanted to sob and scream and fall in love with this story. None of that happened.
Stop me if I don’t make sense, but when I love a book, I get so invested that I forget that the story isn’t my life. For a few hours, I’m competently immersed in someone else’s story.
That never happened with In Repair. There are many beautiful moments, but I never got attached to any of the characters.
I struggled to connect with the characters because Nathaniel spends so much time alone. Most of the book is Nathaniel’s inner monologue. His story is interesting, but I wanted more dialogue. There wasn’t enough interaction between him and his new friends for me to become invested.
But also, after years of radio silence, Nathaniel unexpectedly runs into a former friend. They reconnect and, all of a sudden, they’re everyday fixtures in each other’s lives. Like, what? (Is everyone that much better at making friends than me?)
Bottom line: Aggressively average.
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my blog!
In Repair is fine. Just fine.
I wanted to be wowed. I wanted to sob and scream and fall in love with this story. None of that happened.
Stop me if I don’t make sense, but when I love a book, I get so invested that I forget that the story isn’t my life. For a few hours, I’m competently immersed in someone else’s story.
That never happened with In Repair. There are many beautiful moments, but I never got attached to any of the characters.
I struggled to connect with the characters because Nathaniel spends so much time alone. Most of the book is Nathaniel’s inner monologue. His story is interesting, but I wanted more dialogue. There wasn’t enough interaction between him and his new friends for me to become invested.
But also, after years of radio silence, Nathaniel unexpectedly runs into a former friend. They reconnect and, all of a sudden, they’re everyday fixtures in each other’s lives. Like, what? (Is everyone that much better at making friends than me?)
Bottom line: Aggressively average.
༝༚༝༚
my blog!
March 28, 2024
"But I was a boy and no one thought to ask me."
My heart broke when I read this sentence. This story is on the heavier side of YA contemporary, and I feel like that's typically a lot less popular than fluffy YA romance, but it deserves so much to be read.
I loooved Icebreaker by this author, and their next book follows Nathaniel, who goes to the same university and even befriends Mickey! Nathaniel is known for acting out a lot, and no one knows why, because he's never told anyone what happened to him. Thematically, this book reminded me a lot of All For the Game by Nora Sakavic, and specifically The Raven King.
Nathaniel's story was told with so much care, and I loved the ending so much. There's a lot of growth, but also a lot of acknowledgement of the growth that still needs to happen, and I was glad to not see this book wrapped up neatly.
My heart broke when I read this sentence. This story is on the heavier side of YA contemporary, and I feel like that's typically a lot less popular than fluffy YA romance, but it deserves so much to be read.
I loooved Icebreaker by this author, and their next book follows Nathaniel, who goes to the same university and even befriends Mickey! Nathaniel is known for acting out a lot, and no one knows why, because he's never told anyone what happened to him. Thematically, this book reminded me a lot of All For the Game by Nora Sakavic, and specifically The Raven King.
Nathaniel's story was told with so much care, and I loved the ending so much. There's a lot of growth, but also a lot of acknowledgement of the growth that still needs to happen, and I was glad to not see this book wrapped up neatly.
July 3, 2024
2024 reads: 183/250
content warnings: suicidal thoughts, panic attacks, ptsd, sexual assault, self-harm
nathaniel conti is in his second semester of college and has made his reputation as a troublemaker. but then he finds a friend group, and wonders if he can stop acting out. when a ghost from his past shows up, though, he feels like his progress might just come to a halt.
i absolutely loved this book. i could tell that so much care went into nathaniel as a character, from the way he presented himself to his inner thoughts. i also loved his friend group and how supportive and caring they were! they kind of made me miss my first year of college😭
i’d recommend this book to any YA/NA contemporary readers okay with the content.
also, this book is set at the same college as icebreaker, so if you want a glimpse of those characters…👀
content warnings: suicidal thoughts, panic attacks, ptsd, sexual assault, self-harm
nathaniel conti is in his second semester of college and has made his reputation as a troublemaker. but then he finds a friend group, and wonders if he can stop acting out. when a ghost from his past shows up, though, he feels like his progress might just come to a halt.
i absolutely loved this book. i could tell that so much care went into nathaniel as a character, from the way he presented himself to his inner thoughts. i also loved his friend group and how supportive and caring they were! they kind of made me miss my first year of college😭
i’d recommend this book to any YA/NA contemporary readers okay with the content.
also, this book is set at the same college as icebreaker, so if you want a glimpse of those characters…👀
June 21, 2024
i really, really don't appreciate how it felt like this book digs into my head. i want escapism not realism
Want to read
October 12, 2023new a.l. graziadei book???!?!?!! 👀 i wanna thank not only god, but jesus 🙏
June 7, 2024
Ouch. My heart is heavy and it's been awhile since I've been on the verge of tears for the absolute entirety of a novel.
This is so so good and I wish I could be more eloquent but I'm lost for words.
This is so so good and I wish I could be more eloquent but I'm lost for words.
![Profile Image for °✩ᴍᴀʀs✩° [matchin' w Addi ♥].](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.gr-assets.com%2Fimages%2FS%2Fcompressed.photo.goodreads.com%2Fusers%2F1771568111i%2F172431656.jpg&w=128&q=75)
November 25, 2025
I dunno- Nat just really pmo in my opinion. It took me forever to finish this book; it just wasn't capturing my attention y'know?
2 and 1/2 stars rounded up because of Celeste lmao
2 and 1/2 stars rounded up because of Celeste lmao
April 11, 2025
I don't even know what to say. Upon finishing the book I burst into tears and after a little while to recover I'm writing this review. I don't expect this to be coherent or organized but I don't think I will ever be able to put into words what this book made me feel.
First I need to tell you that this is very triggering, so look up trigger warnings before anything else. I am mostly okay to read books like this now but it was still very hard and challenging, so take it from someone who gets it, this is not a book to read when you are struggling with depression, save it for another time.
In Repair is heartbreaking, raw and devastating, it is a book about trauma and recovery, about living with a past you can't change and running from healthy things because you don't feel you deserve them. I get the main character, I get him so much that it was painful to read about, but that's also the reason I could root for him. If you try things will be okay most of the time, and I just wanted to get to the part where he also understood that.
After reading the book I can appreciate how perfect the cover is for the story, and I don't think I will ever see it again without having a strong emotional reaction.
In Repair is a beautiful book, I'm glad I read it even though it was hard.
First I need to tell you that this is very triggering, so look up trigger warnings before anything else. I am mostly okay to read books like this now but it was still very hard and challenging, so take it from someone who gets it, this is not a book to read when you are struggling with depression, save it for another time.
In Repair is heartbreaking, raw and devastating, it is a book about trauma and recovery, about living with a past you can't change and running from healthy things because you don't feel you deserve them. I get the main character, I get him so much that it was painful to read about, but that's also the reason I could root for him. If you try things will be okay most of the time, and I just wanted to get to the part where he also understood that.
After reading the book I can appreciate how perfect the cover is for the story, and I don't think I will ever see it again without having a strong emotional reaction.
In Repair is a beautiful book, I'm glad I read it even though it was hard.
July 24, 2024
"But I was a boy and no one thought to ask me."
This was a heavy read, but such a great one. Nathaniel's story is handled with so much care, and I loved seeing him make real friends and begin to realize he is worthy of love and care (while also struggling with these concepts in ways that feel very realistic given both his trauma and immediate family relationships). This book is about childhood trauma and Nathaniel's unhealthy coping mechanisms: self harm, dissociation, and acting out in dangerous ways. As the book goes on, we begin to see the layers pulled back and recognize Nathaniel for who is really is: a boy that's still hurting.
This is a heavy read, and I recommend looking at the trigger warnings beforehand to prepare yourself for this book. However, if you do feel you can handle it, I highly recommend it for an emotional story and beautiful writing.
TWs: implied past CSA, past self-harm and self-harm scars, dissociation, suicidal ideation
This was a heavy read, but such a great one. Nathaniel's story is handled with so much care, and I loved seeing him make real friends and begin to realize he is worthy of love and care (while also struggling with these concepts in ways that feel very realistic given both his trauma and immediate family relationships). This book is about childhood trauma and Nathaniel's unhealthy coping mechanisms: self harm, dissociation, and acting out in dangerous ways. As the book goes on, we begin to see the layers pulled back and recognize Nathaniel for who is really is: a boy that's still hurting.
This is a heavy read, and I recommend looking at the trigger warnings beforehand to prepare yourself for this book. However, if you do feel you can handle it, I highly recommend it for an emotional story and beautiful writing.
TWs: implied past CSA, past self-harm and self-harm scars, dissociation, suicidal ideation
December 10, 2024
Moje serce zostało zgniecione, ale w sposób, za który osobie autorskiej jestem wdzięczna.
Ze spraw koniecznych do wspomnienia!
Po pierwsze: Akcja „In Repair“ dzieje się równocześnie do „Icebreaker“, ale obie powieści można czytać bez znajomości tej drugiej. Jeśli miałabym coś zasugerować — akurat ten tytuł lepiej wziąć jako kolejny, ale to moja preferencja.
Po drugie: W Content Warnings zabrakło wzmianki o wspomnieniu (niejasnym) przemocy seksualnej.
Po trzecie: To powieść z reprezentacją queerową, a bi bohater w centrum stanowi jedynie wisienkę na torcie. Bardzo mało się o tym mówi w temacie tego tytułu.
Ze spraw koniecznych do wspomnienia!
Po pierwsze: Akcja „In Repair“ dzieje się równocześnie do „Icebreaker“, ale obie powieści można czytać bez znajomości tej drugiej. Jeśli miałabym coś zasugerować — akurat ten tytuł lepiej wziąć jako kolejny, ale to moja preferencja.
Po drugie: W Content Warnings zabrakło wzmianki o wspomnieniu (niejasnym) przemocy seksualnej.
Po trzecie: To powieść z reprezentacją queerową, a bi bohater w centrum stanowi jedynie wisienkę na torcie. Bardzo mało się o tym mówi w temacie tego tytułu.
May 19, 2024
for something so traumatic it was also a really compelling reading experience. it hit hard, so so hard at times and honestly it's not easy for me to rate this as i was deeply moved by it but at the same time as much as i was enthralled by this character from the very start i also found it a bit too heavy at certain times (it's probably me problem, tho). also mesmerized by author's gut to tell this kind of personal story and by their ability to do it with such force. and yea i'm changing my rating to 5 stars now i think
April 9, 2025
4,8 ⭐️ rounded up
Firstly. This is not a romance. It’s a road towards healing trough pain.
Secondly. It’s a really important book. At least for some people to read.
This is not an easy read.
It’s excellently written. The author has the ability to make all that’s happening to Nathaniel feel real. To deeply feel what he’s feeling. And what he’s feeling is a lot and it’s (almost) all awful.
Nathaniel has been dealing alone with emotional fallout of his trauma for a long time. He’s made masking his superpower. And still. Inside he crumbles. And the cracks are showing.
The reader goes on a journey alongside Nathaniel. A journey of shame, guilt, pain and depression. A wandering trough oppressive fog of not knowing who you are and where do you want to go. Where everything feels so bleak he doesn’t want to do this anymore.
I believe that almost everyone who’s had a traumatic experience in their life (even if it’s not the same as Nathaniel’s) and/or knows what depression feels like, knows how this feels.
This book felt almost cathartic to me. It hurt but it also healed something inside me.
I cried (and cried) and felt like everything is grey while reading this book. At the same time feeling seen and recognised.
So, yes. I think this is an important book. For everyone who’s been in pain. And who feels well enough to take the brunt of pain of this book.
The only reason I don’t give it a full 5 stars is, that the resolution of everything feels a bit simple and very fast. X happens and he moves forward. Just like that.
Please check trigger warnings.
Firstly. This is not a romance. It’s a road towards healing trough pain.
Secondly. It’s a really important book. At least for some people to read.
This is not an easy read.
It’s excellently written. The author has the ability to make all that’s happening to Nathaniel feel real. To deeply feel what he’s feeling. And what he’s feeling is a lot and it’s (almost) all awful.
Nathaniel has been dealing alone with emotional fallout of his trauma for a long time. He’s made masking his superpower. And still. Inside he crumbles. And the cracks are showing.
The reader goes on a journey alongside Nathaniel. A journey of shame, guilt, pain and depression. A wandering trough oppressive fog of not knowing who you are and where do you want to go. Where everything feels so bleak he doesn’t want to do this anymore.
I believe that almost everyone who’s had a traumatic experience in their life (even if it’s not the same as Nathaniel’s) and/or knows what depression feels like, knows how this feels.
This book felt almost cathartic to me. It hurt but it also healed something inside me.
I cried (and cried) and felt like everything is grey while reading this book. At the same time feeling seen and recognised.
So, yes. I think this is an important book. For everyone who’s been in pain. And who feels well enough to take the brunt of pain of this book.
The only reason I don’t give it a full 5 stars is, that the resolution of everything feels a bit simple and very fast. X happens and he moves forward. Just like that.
Please check trigger warnings.
June 23, 2024
I INHALTE this book. But please please please A.L. Graziadei write LONGER BOOKS!!!!!!
July 28, 2024
This won’t make my favorites list where I can read it over and over. Because this book hurt. It deals with childhood trauma of the worst kind and how it messes you up as you try to grow up and move forward with your life. It hit home. In fact, it’s possibly the most realistic look at trauma and depression that I’ve ever read. This is a difficult book. But it’s also a truly beautiful book.
May 29, 2025
another one of those books to add to the “I could’ve used this when I was 18 and dropped out of college” list.
June 7, 2024
In Repair by the wonderful AL Graziadei is a tough story to read - but it is also full of heart and hope, which I feel like is the most important thing when it comes to stories about mental struggles.
In In Repair we follow Nathaniel, who was a bit of a rebel and a petty criminal in high school but is trying to turn over a new leaf in college - even if not always in safest ways (cue him jumping out the window for funnies). He quickly finds new friends (and maybe more?), but he keeps them at arms length due to his hauntingly painful past and trauma. But when his ex best friend from high school walks back into his life, Nathaniel's carefully curated facade starts to crumbs.
AL Graziadei didn't shy away from heavy themes in In Repair (trauma, sexual abuse, PTSD and self harm that stem from that), while also infusing the story with so much lightness, healing and friendship - exactly what we've come to expect and love from them! I loved seeing Mickey from Icebreaker in Nathaniel's story as well ahh what a treat!!
All in all, In Repair is a hard-hitting but beautiful story of healing and friendship and I can't wait to see what AL Graziadei writes next! If you are looking for a book centering a character who struggles with mental illness, this one is it. 💓
In In Repair we follow Nathaniel, who was a bit of a rebel and a petty criminal in high school but is trying to turn over a new leaf in college - even if not always in safest ways (cue him jumping out the window for funnies). He quickly finds new friends (and maybe more?), but he keeps them at arms length due to his hauntingly painful past and trauma. But when his ex best friend from high school walks back into his life, Nathaniel's carefully curated facade starts to crumbs.
AL Graziadei didn't shy away from heavy themes in In Repair (trauma, sexual abuse, PTSD and self harm that stem from that), while also infusing the story with so much lightness, healing and friendship - exactly what we've come to expect and love from them! I loved seeing Mickey from Icebreaker in Nathaniel's story as well ahh what a treat!!
All in all, In Repair is a hard-hitting but beautiful story of healing and friendship and I can't wait to see what AL Graziadei writes next! If you are looking for a book centering a character who struggles with mental illness, this one is it. 💓
August 1, 2025
Do you ever read a book that makes you scream into the void of your traumatizing childhood ????? god I loved this book. I LOVED this book. Truthfully I love everything I’ve read by A.L Graziadei (shoutout Icebreaker 🩷). But this one THIS ONE absolutely hit me like a freight train right in my soul. I feel Nathaniel so deeply because I was him. I was that kid struggling and disassociating and destroying myself in an effort to forget the horrible things that happened to me. I was the kid wondering why my parents never asked, how they never noticed something was wrong. This book simultaneously tore me open and patched me up. I cried for days, mourning Nathaniel’s pain and my own and found the courage to seek out help in therapy (that I probably should have done a long time ago).
Graziadei writes in a voice that’s so distinct and beautiful. The way the story is told changes as Nathan’s mind struggles to comprehend and process what’s happened and how quickly he puts himself at a distance from his trauma.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️11/10 stars. HIGHLY recommend. Content warning, there is sexual trauma and pain and hurt, but if you can manage it, this book is something you won’t forget.
Graziadei writes in a voice that’s so distinct and beautiful. The way the story is told changes as Nathan’s mind struggles to comprehend and process what’s happened and how quickly he puts himself at a distance from his trauma.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️11/10 stars. HIGHLY recommend. Content warning, there is sexual trauma and pain and hurt, but if you can manage it, this book is something you won’t forget.
May 27, 2024
I read this book in less than two hours THROUGH MY TEARS HOW DARE YOU everyone read this nOW 🤺
June 19, 2024
in repair is one of the most moving books i've read this year. nathaniel is such a well-built character and the hopeful ending was so emotional :'). i think this is such a touching depiction of trauma and a reminder to look past the surface. it really made me think about the assumptions people make when young people commit crimes like that.
the reason this is 4 stars is because the first half was really slow to me. it was hard to get into it but once i did it was really really good. my favorite aspect was nathaniel's bonding with his brother-- it was so good to see seth supporting him.
towards the end of this past school year, a boy at my school called in a fake bomb threat and was expelled. i've known him for a few years and he is one of the most enigmatic people i've ever met. obviously what he did is not as serious as nathaniel's actions, but this book reinforced what i've always thought since that bomb threat was called: people don't do things like that for no reason. i believe that if people in positions of power took the extra time to look past the surface and ask the right questions, so many young people wouldn't make decisions like that. it is so important to ask the questions and pay attention, because the answer is usually in front of your face.
PRIDE MONTH BOOK COUNT:
1: These Violent Delights 3.5⭐
2: Henry Henry 2⭐
3: If We Were Villains 2.5⭐
4: Imogen, Obviously 3⭐
5: Skater Boy 4⭐
6: You Should Be So Lucky 3⭐
7: Now, Conjurers 4.5⭐
8: Like Real People Do (Reread)
9: The Magic Between 3⭐
10: In Repair 4⭐
the reason this is 4 stars is because the first half was really slow to me. it was hard to get into it but once i did it was really really good. my favorite aspect was nathaniel's bonding with his brother-- it was so good to see seth supporting him.
towards the end of this past school year, a boy at my school called in a fake bomb threat and was expelled. i've known him for a few years and he is one of the most enigmatic people i've ever met. obviously what he did is not as serious as nathaniel's actions, but this book reinforced what i've always thought since that bomb threat was called: people don't do things like that for no reason. i believe that if people in positions of power took the extra time to look past the surface and ask the right questions, so many young people wouldn't make decisions like that. it is so important to ask the questions and pay attention, because the answer is usually in front of your face.
PRIDE MONTH BOOK COUNT:
1: These Violent Delights 3.5⭐
2: Henry Henry 2⭐
3: If We Were Villains 2.5⭐
4: Imogen, Obviously 3⭐
5: Skater Boy 4⭐
6: You Should Be So Lucky 3⭐
7: Now, Conjurers 4.5⭐
8: Like Real People Do (Reread)
9: The Magic Between 3⭐
10: In Repair 4⭐
June 20, 2024
I just want to say A.L Graziadei has quickly become one of my favourite authors ever. I ABSOLUTELY LOVEDDDD their debut novel “Icebreaker”, I’ve read it multiple times now and it’s one of my all time favourite books so I was so excited to finally read their second book, and they did not disappoint at all.
This book is not really a romance, but a book that discusses dealing with trauma, how it affects us, how we react, our good or bad coping mechanisms, finding ourself, mental health and so much more. I found myself almost crying because I saw myself in Nate a little too much. The struggle or dissociating, anxiety, depression etc I deal with day to day and just like in Icebreaker these extremely difficult and very important topics are represented beautifully and with such care throughout the book. It is very rare to see authors describe certain mental health topics as well as this author does, it just always feels very raw, realistic and very real.
The support system Nate had with Max, Celeste, and Tasha was so refreshing to see. I also LOVED how this all connected to the Icebreaker universe at the same college so we got to see previous characters from the last book, I really hope this universe continues to grow even further. Overall while this book was very heavy, it was lighthearted too. I think it could’ve even been a tad bit longer to flesh stuff out more, but i enjoyed this book so much and can’t wait to read what’s next from them.
Links to all my socials
November 12, 2024
this was a bit of an impulse read for me, as i’ve been looking to get a physical copy for awhile but finally checked it out on libby instead to get myself out of a reading slump, and now i know that i have to get a physical copy. i can’t remember the last time i’ve utterly devoured a book like this, honestly. nathaniel’s narration is incredibly raw and authentic, and while i’ve not dealt with the same issues that he has, some of the lines in this book caught me like a deer in headlights. graziadei has a unique ability to capture some of these very specific feelings in a way that allows readers to really see themselves in these characters and their stories. i loved this book’s exploration of friendship and family and what those things can look like, and i really appreciated any potential romance taking a back seat to nathaniel’s wellbeing. while i am fully rooting for him and tasha, i think a full romance arc might have cheapened the story as a whole, and i’m more than happy with how their story ended. i also loved the appearances made by characters from icebreaker, and i wouldn’t be mad at all if graziadei continues writing in this world with these characters! if you are interested in stories of healing with a complex and self-aware narrator, this is well worth your time, but please check content warnings as it deals with heavier topics.
this review is also available on instagram here!
this review is also available on instagram here!
February 23, 2026
4.5 ⭐️
I love books centered around mental health and trauma! 🫶🏼
They feel so real, raw and sometimes uncomfortable.
Nathaniel’s story was hard to read at points, but I wanted the absolute best for him! 🥹
The depiction of friendship was wonderful!!
I know this was YA, but I wish we got to see more of his time in therapy. It felt like the book ended too quickly.
Two of my favorite quotes:
“I knew she was telling the truth.
Because it happened to me too.
But I was a boy, and no one thought to ask me.”
“It’s not that I actually want to die.
Not really.
It’s more that I don’t want to exist anymore.
There’s a difference.”
😭😭😭😭
I love books centered around mental health and trauma! 🫶🏼
They feel so real, raw and sometimes uncomfortable.
Nathaniel’s story was hard to read at points, but I wanted the absolute best for him! 🥹
The depiction of friendship was wonderful!!
I know this was YA, but I wish we got to see more of his time in therapy. It felt like the book ended too quickly.
Two of my favorite quotes:
“I knew she was telling the truth.
Because it happened to me too.
But I was a boy, and no one thought to ask me.”
“It’s not that I actually want to die.
Not really.
It’s more that I don’t want to exist anymore.
There’s a difference.”
😭😭😭😭
May 15, 2024
[No spoilers]
Deeply personal.
Internalised trauma.
Self sabotaging, disassociating.
Trying to find yourself after you fall to pieces.
Will definitely reread. Such a raw experience, same rawness as in Icebreaker, even tho story is totally different. But I love love love how the author describes emotion and how they depicts trauma, trauma response and everything. It's so raw, real.
Deeply personal.
Internalised trauma.
Self sabotaging, disassociating.
Trying to find yourself after you fall to pieces.
Will definitely reread. Such a raw experience, same rawness as in Icebreaker, even tho story is totally different. But I love love love how the author describes emotion and how they depicts trauma, trauma response and everything. It's so raw, real.
September 12, 2024
A.L. Graziadei has done it again. What an amazing, devestating, beautiful book.
Put this in the hands of people who think YA books aren't deep enough.
Put this in the hands of people who have been through trauma and need to be seen.
Put this in the hands of people who need to understand what trauma can do to a person.
Put this in everyone's hands.
I talk about books here: Instagram / TikTok / Linktree
Put this in the hands of people who think YA books aren't deep enough.
Put this in the hands of people who have been through trauma and need to be seen.
Put this in the hands of people who need to understand what trauma can do to a person.
Put this in everyone's hands.
I talk about books here: Instagram / TikTok / Linktree
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