-Not Him, Us

by Tatum Dire

2nd Edition
This is a standalone, spicy, "why choose" dark romance.

Burn.

The voice inside me never leaves. Haunting me for the death she says I caused.

Letters come from a man I’ve never met, a man I love and will never have. He stalks me, calms me, ignites a fire in me that I can never show.

Lies and secrets flood my life from every direction. Bringing fresh pain to my already broken world.

The man I once loved taunts me, follows me, lets me know he’s watching. Refusing to let me go.

And the four men that took me to keep me safe have had enough. No one touches what’s theirs and gets away with it.

But he isn’t alone.

And the five of us are in for something we never saw coming,

We’re all in danger, and it all started with

-Not Him

Genres: Dark Romance, Why Choose, Romance, Dark, Contemporary, Ebooks, Polyamory

560 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 29, 2024

About the author

Tatum Dire writes dark romance—stories that dive into the messy, intense emotions people often keep hidden. She enjoys weaving raw, emotional journeys that push boundaries in the most twisted ways, though she may dabble in a little bit of everything as her career progresses.

What she’s most proud of is her ability to create characters and worlds that feel real and flawed, where readers can see pieces of themselves in the struggles, heartbreaks, and hopes, all while still creating a fictional world that takes you away from this one.

What drives her isn’t just storytelling, but the freedom in it—the chance to weave raw emotion, lived experiences, and even the wildest dreams into something that resonates. For Tatum, the greatest reward is knowing her words have touched, healed, or empowered the readers who give her stories a chance.

Tatum began writing as a way to understand herself, putting shape to feeling, then found, in the silence between the pages, others were listening. For her coming plans… she can only hope that continues.


Make sure you go to tatum-dire-author.square. site to stay updated on all the things!

Reviews

[Bethany Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This could’ve been 5 stars until it crushed my soul at the end. I do not tolerate death of main characters.
The petty bitch in me wants to give it one star for that alone, but the writing is too good to deny.
Just going to cry myself to sleep now.

[taylor · Rating 3 out of 5]

this book felt like a fever dream.. but in a good way?

[Sybrenna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a solid 4⭐️. I truly wasn’t expecting the ride this book took me on, from the pain, the spice, the plot, the twists and shock factors, and again.. MORE PAIN. Right off bat I felt so bad for our FMC as she’s endured a lot but seeing her come into her own is something I always eat up in books. This book is one of the reasons why i love why choose romances so much because I felt like the guys and their individual relationship with the FMC was balanced and there wasnt a definitive favorite. Also, the SPICE?!?! Usually i get annoyed with back to back spice but this was good? lmaoo?! I did LOVE the secret identity trope in this book and was gagged a few times ESPECIALLY after the reveal with Finn. IYKYK! 🤭 i was definitely not expecting that ending and now every time i think about it, i feel sad LBVS. However, there were times that it did feel a little draggy but never for long and the book would pick up again. I also loved the revenge plot at the end, kinda wanted moreee.

[Meagan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mixed feelings on this one. It was a speedy read, easy to get into and keep flipping pages. That said, some of the story was a step too far from believable and that took me out of the story.

Also, the entire vibe was trashed in the last chapters with a death of an MMC. No amount of rainbows and sunshine in the epilogues can make up for that absolute insanity.

*ETA: while there is a trigger list that mentions m*rder, I feel a death of an MMC at the end of a stand alone warrants it's own bullet point.

[Augusta Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Holy sh*t! What a great read! Hooked immediately!! I love the dark and depraved and this book delivered! Had all the things I loved and adored! While there were some uncomfortable parts (check trigger warnings) it added to the story and made it that more believable and relatable to the story! His I loved these characters! While the plot wasn’t super original, I was immediately attached to the characters!!! I haven’t cried reading a book in a fatttttt minute, but the tears flowed at the end! Loved it for sure! Give it a read

[Dreyyy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Meh
I mean it wasn't bad I was just waiting for more I guess?

[Amanda ❤️ · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book. Made me cry. I won’t go into details. Because I don’t want to leave spoilers but like towards the end you will probably cry.
However I loved this story. It was a really good RH novel

[Camilla Ahlquist · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book could easily have been one of my favorites. 🤩
A 5 ⭐️ through almost the entire book. Unfortunately I didn't like the ending, sorry 😔

[Heather Hollar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow

This book, was amazing but be warned it's dark and the loss hits deeply. Be sure to read all the trigger warnings. It had an amazing plot and such a strong FMC and MMCs, some of it makes you really hate Silas though. I feel in some aspects she was too forgiving after his treatment of her. Carlisle and Finn were always so amazing with her. Ian I feel never got enough time with her. I always feel he was somewhat distant especially after his very verbal admission of not understanding why she was so special to the others in the beginning. Then one day he just decides she is? I feel that needed more explanation. He really did use her in the beginning situation with his father. I guarantee the last few chapters you will cry your soul out. I feel like I might be in a book rut after this honestly.

[Natalie Perkins · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a full on guilty pleasure. It's kinda bonkers in both plot and concept, but I couldn't put it down. It is a little overwritten, everyone having a few nicknames was a bit confusing, and the dialogue was a little cringe from time to time. Amelia was also a bit of a Mary sue. However, the prose and grammar were solid throughout, and I can't deny I had fun reading it. Smut was solid as well.

[Tabi Mueller · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to give it more stars, but I couldn't believe Lyle died. 😭

[Jean · Rating 1 out of 5]

Slogged through it

I really don't know how this book could get 5 stars from anyone. 3 maybe... but 5...
The plot introduces us to a possible "villian" but that barely pans out for a full chapter. Seriously that whole plot point could have been erased and this book would basically be the same.
I love a good dark romance but this one is disappointing at best. The "dark" elements are flat and barely there. This book just doesn't have that good bad shit happens so I'm going to tear the world apart for you vibes. Honestly the guys are not intimidating at all. Hell, Ian's dad isn't even scared of them after their little visit. He still has a hand in the final that wouldn't have happened if the guys were more... dark.
There have been some reviews that I read that were very upset over Lyle's plot but honestly I'm not even mad about it. Yeah it would have been better to have that play out earlier in the book with more interaction with the villian of the story but it is what it is and at least something freaking happened.

Lastly, for the love of everything that is and will be edit your daym books!
Look, I'm not the most grammatically correct. That's pretty obvious from the lack off commas in this post. However, when a book has so many typos and wrong words it takes you out of the story every other page or so then you've got a problem. Edit. Then edit again. Then edit some more. Editing suck, we know. But having to reread a sentence to make it make sense because of bad editing will make or break a book regardless of how great the plot is.

[Alexandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars
spice: 4/5

Except for some editing mistakes, it was very well written, and you could easily flow through it. The book was good, and I enjoyed it, but something bothered me/ wasn't enough to give it more than three stars.

Even tho I liked every MMC, in my opinion, because of how the story evolved, I would have liked it more if it had been only Amelia and Silas in a relationship.
Because of all the years they shared before actually meeting, it feels like they have such an intimate bond that the reverse harem trope disturbs it. Silas obviously doesn't want to share her and only does so because it's the rule the boys have and because he wants Amelia, no matter in what way.
Apart from that, I still liked how the boys took care of Amelia and how everyone gave her another part of them she needed. And the spice was...hot!

The plot was great. Sometimes, it got a little slow, but it quickly picked up again.
I loved to watch Amelia step up for herself after years of misery. She got the revenge she deserved, but honestly, Lance deserved more of her wrath.
The ending felt a bit patchy, like it's been just quickly wrapped up, and that's it.

Still, an enjoyable book, and for a debut novel, it is great.

[Kimberlea Richardson · Rating 5 out of 5]

One Wild Emotional Journey

I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes because the last few chapters of this story tore my heart out, but I’m smiling too, because it was an emotional ending that made everything as right as it could, considering the circumstances. This whole book was full of highs & lows, and just felt like a roller coaster ride that left you gasping for breath with each new revelation. The characters were raw, real, broken, vulnerable, strong, vicious, passionate, traumatized, and full of so much vivid life that it nearly leapt off the pages & tackled my heart. While it did take me 2 of 3 chapters to really start getting into the story, once I was attached to the characters & the storyline, I was all in until the very end. This is a darker book, so make sure you check your TWs, but even if you’re slightly on the edge, make the leap & give it a chance. It was one of the best books I’ve read this year, and I’m so thankful it hit my radar. I will definitely reread this, even though I’ll need to let my heart recover a bit first, but I’ll make sure to keep tissues close by this time…you should too 😭👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻❤️

[Essence Olivia · Rating 2 out of 5]

2/5 - this is literally 500 pages of pure brain rot. when i tell you that there’s no way this book didn’t come straight off of wattpad. the fact that wattpad is even MENTIONED is horrible. there was lowkey no plot. the only thing i liked was the guys and the idea of the letters. other than that i have never read another book (besides maybe den of vipers) where the sole purpose was just RH smut. i don’t even think i would recommend this bc the plot genuinely sucks. it is 500 pages of porn. i don’t even know HOW i finished it tbh. i was just that bored. the part at the beginning mentioning face ID and it still working with Lances eyes closed actually had me dead. bc wtf is that. overall, this wasn’t good. it was literally just a girl and four guys fucking like rabbits. i am all for RH, but i would also at least like a well developed plot. the only positive thing i will say is i DID NOT expect mans to die at the end. lowkey made me a little sad too. i feel like amelia and silas should have become exclusive. bc like how is that going to work for the rest of their lives?? what about marriage? kids?
(spice 2, RH, dual POV, enemies to lovers, friends to lovers)

[Christopher L · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are spoilers in the 4th paragraph so please read at your own risk.

In general, I liked this story. It has an excellent plot line and it kept me reading. I finished it which is something because lately I seem to be DNFing a lot of books just because I lose interest.

This story desperately needs edited again. Things get confusing for the reader like who is talking, how did we get from this room to another room, some of the hot scenes starts with her back to him and then somehow her face is in his neck. Again not a deal breaker, because the plot is tight.

The plot line, character building, and world building is amazing. She spent a lot of time on this and it is tight. With editing, this would be an amazing story.


Warning: Spoiler follows......
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I will never read this again because of the ending. I hated, and I mean seriously "hated" the ending. I messaged a reader friend to not read this book because it was yuck, yuck, yuck and I mean this with all of my heart. I found it unnecessary, but fine, whatever. It does not have a happy ending and, again, I will never read or recommend this book to anyone.

[Christina · Rating 2 out of 5]

…. This story has potential, but the book needs a LOT of work. It is absolutely riddled with errors- spelling mistakes, incorrect words, repeated sentences or phrases within consecutive paragraphs, jumbled timelines… and the epilogue makes no sense either. The book states the epilogue takes place more than a year after the story ends, but that is another error. The story ends with Amelia looking down at her engagement ring, but the epilogue is where the guys propose and give her the ring. How does the story end with her looking down at her engagement ring on her finger more than a year before the guys present it to her?

Honestly, I nearly DNF’d this book soooo many times because of all the errors. The potential of the story helped me to keep going, but I’m not sure it was worth the struggle in the end. This was the first book I read by this author and I don’t think I’ll be picking up another if this is the type of work the author finds acceptable to put out into the world.

[Jennifer House · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hauntingly beautiful

This book doesn't shy away from the nitty gritty, but rewards those who can get through it by immersing you into a powerful story of love in all its forms. I got this as a SYK and after reading two duds. I didn't have hopes for this one either. I read the synopsis and figured it was Going to be a repeat of others.
I was wrong.
Boy, was I wrong.
The story evolves effortlessly, the plot is never forced and the spice is tastefully done, even during some of the more bold scenes. Nothing in this book is done poorly or for shock value. That's not to say that everything is predictable, either.
Tatum Dire has done herself a world of justice, here. If you have the time, take the time to delve into this. I swear to everything holy or otherwise that this is most worth it.

[Theresse (Tess) Gregory · Rating 3 out of 5]

Spice: 3/5

The storyline was definitely intriguing, though it did feel a bit drawn out at times. I really enjoyed Mel’s relationships with Ian, Lyle, and Finn; each of them taught her meaningful lessons, with Lyle’s impact standing out the most. Silas had a bit of a redemption arc, but it was hard to fully forgive how poorly he treated someone he claimed to have loved for years, especially knowing she was committed to staying. The plot became increasingly convoluted as new enemies were introduced without much buildup, making it difficult to stay grounded in the story’s main conflict. I also docked the rating for the late-stage character death around 90%; it felt unnecessary and left me questioning the direction of the narrative.

Tropes Include:
-Why Choose
-Secret Admirer
-Troubled Past
-Found Family

[DAWN DILDINE · Rating 5 out of 5]

Soo good and spicy, but the heartache.... Its real!

This is a long story, but kept me enthralled the whole book through. The immense amount of love, pain, and heartache you feel from EACH character, as if it were happening to you, is unlike any other book I have read (and I went through OVER 400 books in this past year. Most of which were Reverse harem or why choose) However, there is a twist that will leave you in tears and heartbroken for days. PLEASE MAKE SURE TO CHECK TRIGGER WARNINGS! There are a lot, and this book is very intense.

Tatum Dire, WELL DONE!!!! I hope to read many more books from you in the future.

[Tanya · Rating 5 out of 5]

TATUM FREAKING DIRE!! First off.. how dare you ma’am! How dare you break my heart like that?! Second..It has taken me a while to get my thoughts together enough on this story to write a review! I still think about this story days after finishing it. The trauma and heart break is intense! I felt for Amelia so freaking much! And her men... oooo her men! Tatumn I am so mad at you rn! But I absolutely loved this story and think about it often! It sucked me right in and took me for a ride I wasn’t expecting! I hope you enjoy my tears jerk! I can’t wait to read another book by you!
PLEASE read the trigger warnings!

[Dana · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book ripped my heart out, sliced it up a little, and then shoved it back in my chest with some pain and praise. I REALLY wanted to give it 5 stars, but it took me a few chapters to get into the rhythm, figure out what the heck was going on, and get hooked… and the kindle version definitely needs to be edited a bit. BUT, once I was hooked, I was hooked. I related to Amelia on many levels and loved her growth and transformation. Putting the pieces together and figuring out who “Not Him” was, then to have it finally revealed… sigh. And let’s not forget JJ - I feel like she needs her own story of growth and triumph now!

[~*~Brooke's Stripped Down Reviews~*~ · Rating 3 out of 5]

On the fence because I liked it, but didn't love it.
I love RH novels and love dark romance, so that's not the problem. I think the plot kept getting too tangled, too congested. I felt myself getting lost, skimming through parts, just to make it to the end so I can get the conclusion. That ending though, ugh...emotionally brutal. Also, the ending was wrapped up a little too quick, so I'm missing a couple things. I think a few of the resolves could have been scenes rather than a quick mention. But the heat between Mel & her boys, definitely on fire 🔥.
But overall, a good first novel by this author.

[Allyson Castillo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow...okay

*This review will contain spoilers*

From the very first page I knew I was going to love this book. It was a constant page turner for me. Seeing her pain and her struggle with it and growing as a person was amazing. When Silas finally got his head out of his ass I wanted to scream. This book also had some good moments that made me laugh. Around 90% I was getting nervous that there was suppose to be another book agter this one, and then around 92%....my heart shattered. I was not expecting nor prepared for that. But she does pretty much get her HEA.

[Kari · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF at 50%

I'm sorry I really tried after over 260 pgs of this book and i still dont fully understand what the plot is of this book except the fmc having a mental breakdown every 5 mins and getting high. I have never been more disgusted than reading the fmc finding out she has an STD and then one of the guys going down on her and then having s-- with her. This was just the most disjointed and poorly executed plot I have ever read. And thanks to the reviews i know who dies and will not waste my time caring about it.

[Colleen Sanchez · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very deliciously dark romance

It’s so funny really I read many of the reviews before reading this book but I always keep an open mind. To me, this had a happily ever after, but with some sadness locked in. This is not a book for someone who has a trillion triggers lol. Fortunately, I have no triggers, so this one was great for me, but this is definitely a dark romance. There’s tons of justice in the book, but so many unfortunate events. It’s a great read.

[Emma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wild Ride

This is the first book I’ve read by this author and the ending left me wrecked and sobbing. It’s a book I’ll be thinking about for a while. There are some difficult scenes but I felt that they were written in a way that didn’t make me feel like I couldn’t get through them. I was genuinely surprised as well as the secrets were revealed. I need to go watch something fluffy now to get over my loss.

[Kaylynn Reads📚 · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
Why choose

This book wrapped me up and took me on a ride. Amelia’s character has so much depth and Tatum has a great way of making you feel what Amelia’s feeling in the moment . I was gasping and giggling my through this book. I do recommend that you check your triggers , as it is a pretty dark book. It makes you feel all the feelings and keeps your interest piqued the whole time.

[Victoriaaaaa · Rating 2 out of 5]

To say I’m completely pissed is an understatement.

500+ pages to just DND the last few chapters because of some uncanny “plot twist” that wasn’t even necessary.

It’s one thing to write out a loss of a character but to wait until the last 40 pages to do so and to do so for a character that had nothing to do with the BS/plot is ridiculous. But I guess because he was a twin and the physical aspects of him would never be forgotten completely due to Finn being alive, that doesn’t matter? JFC.

[Dan-dan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think I may now be a reverse harem girlie 🤣😜🙃

This is not your typical love story! It's dark, challenging, gritty, sad, heartbreaking, and gut wrenching.......but I loved every minute of this book 🖤🖤🖤🖤

Please, please! Check the TW list before reading. This book contains some very dark themes and your mental health matters.

I know this is already my June #1 read!
I can't wait to see what the author does next ☺️