How to Be a Goth: Notes on Undead Style

by Tish Weinstock

Amidst the waking nightmares of today, the solace of goth looms from behind the shadows to soothe our morbid anxieties. Permeating pop culture at every level - fashion, music, film, beauty - what was once the preserve of the hooded misfit, has now seeped into the mainstream. Which can only mean one must be the season of the witch.This grimoire will act as a manual for the modern goth as they move through the abyss; navigating the choppy waters of mortality. Divided into advice on style and beauty for three sartorial stages of life - the creepy teenage years, the trick or treat of adulthood, and finally, the witchy winter - it also includes an inventory of important undead icons through the ages; from Wednesday Addams, Siouxsie Sioux and Mary Shelley to Susie Bick, Rei Kawakubo and Miss Havisham.To further inspire and illuminate the darkness, interspersed throughout we hear from notable goths and goth coded people like Anjelica Huston, Aryuna Tardis, Christina Ricci, Michèle Lamy, and Simone Rocha on what this eldritch culture means to them. How To Be A Goth will carry you from cradle to crypt.

Genres: Nonfiction

272 pages, Hardcover

Published January 21, 2025

Reviews

[Kyria · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read the first few chapters and had to stop reading. This is written from such a mainstream 'goth' view, mentioning The Sisters of Mercy and The Cure as best goth bands (while, The Cure isn't goth and The Sisters of Mercy is a subculture of goth), not even mentioning the different flavours of gothic music there are or mentioning that the Batcave in London was mostly known for one flavour of goth music. Then calling Billie Eilish a modern goth icon? Nah, this is not a book that actually talks about the gothic subculture, it is just yet again a way of making goth mainstream acceptable by making it more 'normal' and more marketable.

[Mew Clawfur · Rating 1 out of 5]

This woman is a poser and has no clue what she's talking about. If you're a babybat please research anywhere else when getting into the subculture, and talk to other goths. This is a terrible resource.

[Kerri · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am not a goth, or even goth adjacent, but I enjoyed this more than I had expected. I see some reviews taking issues with the way the author presents goth culture, disregarding the music aspect of it in particular. I'm not informed enough to comment on that side of it, although in fairness this book does claim to focus on the style aspect, not the culture as whole. There were times when I wondered if 'gothic' rather than 'goth' might have been more fitting.
However, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I rarely read books about fashion because I tend to just buy and wear what I like, rather than consult a book or magazine piece. But I had read an article by the author and enjoyed it. https://www.bing.com/ck/a?!&&...

I ended up Googling many of the names mentioned here and had a lot of fun. I loved the illustrations within the book, many featuring gothic style cats drawn by Aurel Schmidt. It really would have added to the book to have photos of at least some of the figures and artworks mentioned, although at least I had my phone handy to look for myself. I particularly enjoyed the mentions of the following:

Elvira

Helena Bonham Carter

Miss Havisham

Morticia Addams

Susie Cave (my personal favourite)



Rei Kawakubo

Wednesday Addams

Winona Ryder

Vampira


This is a female dominated book, but a few men made the cut. A brief selection:
Bela Lugosi

Edward Scissorhands

Eric Draven (Brandon Lee version of course)

Nick Cave


This quote from Susie Cave was my favourite:
"My own creations in The Vampire's Wife, even though often floral or very colourful, still hold in their essence a sort of ethereal melancholy, they feel ghost-like, little levitations. They are dresses that concede the sorrow at the heart of the world, while rising defiantly above it. This for me is the spirit of gothic-ness. It is not depressive, it is not wallowing in darkness, rather it is a mutinous acknowledgement of the melancholy nature of things as a form of positive expression."

I got a bit carried away including photos here, but these are the ones I would have included if I had had free reign with this book. A good chunk of my enjoyment came from looking these people and characters up, so I appreciate the book for either drawing my attention to some new figures such as Rei Kawakubo or allowing me to spend more time studying those I already admired. I remembered how drawn to Wednesday Addams (as played by Christina Ricci) I was as a child. I loved her clothes, her plaits, but even more I loved that she wasn't bouncy or giggly but rather serious and wise. Morticia was glamourous and dramatic and wonderful. I have yet to see either the original show or the newer Wednesday but they are on my list of things to watch.

When it comes to clothes, I will continue dressing how I like, but I appreciated the view that that is the point anyway!

[Nancy Benvenuti · Rating 3 out of 5]

Goth and gothic are two separate things (author doesn’t distinguish) but what do I know. Pretty cool in some parts though, including book and film recommendations.

[Marcos · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s like reading her iPhone notes. Nice to read it as if it was a light magazine take on goth.

[Megan Irene · Rating 1 out of 5]

Goth is a music based subculture. If you are not into the music then you are not a goth. In interviews she has stated on multiple occasions that goth was a music subculture, but that it isn't any longer. She hasn't a clue as to what she is on about.

First off goth is still a music based subculture with tons of bands creating goth genre music. It's obvious that this woman doesn't actually like goth music but still wants the label. Which means that she is actually a goth poseur. Money can buy you happiness but not into the goth subculture.

Onto the book. If I could give this book zero stars I would, because it is very badly written by somebody who isn't actually a member of the goth subculture. She is a very wealthy fashion editor who uses the look to seem more interesting. She could be considered perhaps gothic, but not goth. This s a huge issue that she has in the book, her inability to differentiate between the terms 'goth' and 'gothic'. Gothic is about spooky castles, books, etc... While goth is a term to describe a music based subculture that started in the early 80's.

The constant name dropping of high fashion people and brands gets very tedious starting within the first 10 pages. The 'real' goth and goth 'coded' people she features in the book are all either celebrities, models or wealthy trend followers. This book wasn't made for the likes of you and I. Instead it was made for wealthy fashionistas who want to go goth slumming.

It's easy to tell that she really doesn't like or understand the music because in the book she calls Bauhaus synth driven. Has she ever actually listened to Bauhaus? I'm guessing probably not. The rest of the book is also very poorly researched. When she calls the Kardashians goth for wearing black my eyes rolled right into the back of my head.

The final thing that really ticks me off about this book is that she is perpetuating the lie that you have to wear expensive clothes to be goth. Nothing could be further from the truth. All of her fashion recommendations are high fashion related, which is frustrating as heck. Personally, I have had the best luck going to the clearance section of my nearest New Look store and up-cycling the items I find there.

In conclusion this is a very badly written vanity book by a wealthy bored socialite who is in no way goth.

[Helen Frost · Rating 4 out of 5]

Instantly felt at home with this one, at last a book that understands the intricacies that is the Goth persona. As an enthusiastic Goth from the age of fourteen fully embracing the imagery and music I definitely felt like I’d found my people and my tribe and this book describes the very essence of this is delicious detail. All areas are explored in this rich tapestry of a book, the psychology, history, clothes, influences, recommendations for music, books and films, it’s a very informative mix. I particularly liked the descriptives of the various sub groups and off shoots of Goth life, there definitely is not a one size fits all for the people that identify rather a broad spectrum and beautiful diversity. Definitely food for thought and a very enjoyable read, more pictures would have been great to illustrate the points but other than that a pretty amazing read. I would smile rapturously but I’m a lifelong Goth so the corners of my mouth might just slightly twitch instead.

[emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to love this so bad !! Unfortunately it fell a little flat, though was still enjoyable to listen back to.

I agree with other reviews that this book doesn’t necessarily get into goth music or other facets of goth culture, but that wasn’t really the point here was it? It’s about style and I think Tish Weinstock gives a good overview of notable figures central to goth style and it should inspire the reader to do further reading beyond this book. I for one really enjoyed some of the anecdotes shared in this book and really enjoyed the overall message that goth culture can take so many different shapes and forms and anyone can be a goth. Highly recommend listening to the audiobook if you’re going to read this.

[Kelsey M Legg · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a well-written book for the goth aesthete who is majorly aligned with the mainstream more than the subculture itself, which is not a criticism so much as commentary for potential goths looking to expand their horizons — you won’t find much by way of new information, but there are some interesting fashion and gothic figurehead tidbits to keep it interesting! I think she relies a bit too heavily on similar adjectives throughout and could have sacrificed some forced esoteric language for a straightforward approach that seemed more natural, but overall I enjoyed this and appreciate that it could be an easily digested gateway compendium for babybats looking for an entrance into an intimidating world.

[Emilia]

This book is like a glimpse into Weinstocks goth moodboard and I’m here for it. This is more about goth fashion and is definitely a fashion, mood and goth archive. I’d use it as an anthology for inspiration as opposed to a guidebook or a story. Enjoyable!

[Chelsea Portner · Rating 3 out of 5]

What Tish lacks in substance she makes up for in style. The best illustration I’ve ever seen in my life graces the final chapter. Did I learn anything? No. Did I get to read a 5 word by Gabbriette? Yes.

[Isabelle Carson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love Tish Weinstock SO MUCH but this definitely fell a little flat

[Mairi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Comprehensive examination of goth culture- quite interesting

[Ben Pulka · Rating 3 out of 5]

So I guess I’ve always been a little goth…

[Q · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good bullet points

[Lucy Francis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting and inspirational. I love gothic literature, architecture and style. There are so many things I want to read and watch because of this.