When I Was Straight

by Julie Marie Wade

"Julie Marie Wade's lush post-confessional poems are unabashed in their desire, tentative then bold in their knowledge. They're sparkly talismans to transform and transport us, delicacies with creamy insides to fill us up. WHEN I WAS STRAIGHT is a profound 'before and after' examination of the self, complete with cultural and family commentary--delightful, heartbreaking, magic and real stories with a multitude of prepositions to guide us: a gifted young poet's coming to, coming out, coming jubilantly back into self."--Denise Duhamel and Maureen Seaton

Genres: Poetry, LGBT, Lesbian

42 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2014

About the author

Born in Seattle in 1979, Julie Marie Wade completed a Master of Arts in English at Western Washington University in 2003, a Master of Fine Arts in Poetry at the University of Pittsburgh in 2006, and a PhD in Humanities at the University of Louisville in 2012. She has received the Chicago Literary Award in Poetry (2004), the Gulf Coast Nonfiction Prize (2004), the Oscar Wilde Poetry Prize (2005), the Literal Latte Nonfiction Award (2006), two Dorothy Sargent Rosenberg Poetry Prizes (2006, 2010), the AWP Intro Journals Award for Nonfiction (2009), the American Literary Review Nonfiction Prize (2010), the Arts & Letters Nonfiction Prize (2010), an Al Smith Artist Grant from the Kentucky Arts Council (2010), the Thomas J. Hruska Nonfiction Prize (2011), the Lambda Literary Award for Lesbian Memoir (2011), the Bloom Nonfiction Chapbook Prize (2012), a grant from the Barbara Deming Memorial Fund (2012), and seven Pushcart Prize nominations. Julie is the author of two collections of lyric nonfiction, Wishbone: A Memoir in Fractures (Colgate University Press, 2010) and Small Fires (Sarabande Books, 2011); two collections of poetry, Without (Finishing Line Press, 2010) and Postage Due (White Pine Press, 2013); the creative nonfiction chapbook Tremolo: An Essay (Bloom Press, 2013); and the forthcoming When I Was Straight: Poems (A Midsummer Night's Press, 2014). She lives with her partner Angie Griffin in the Sunshine State and teaches in the creative writing program at Florida International University in Miami.

Reviews

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

So many good, relatable lines and strong imagery.

Here’s one favorite:

The world was a dreamless slumber party,
sleeping bags like straightjackets spread out on
the living room floor, my face pressed into a

slender pillow.

[E. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Five days ago one of Julie Marie Wade's poems from a forthcoming book appeared as the Poem of the Day from the American Academy of Poets. I liked that poem so much I ordered her most recent book, this one, which is about when she was straight and then as she came out to various people in her life. I really enjoyed the poems. And the second half if pretty funny. I mentioned that to Michael and he said, "Funny or sad." "Both," I answered.

I will definitely be ordering her forthcoming book and looking for some of her previous ones.

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Moving, resonant, funny, unpretentious, skillful. A wee concept album of a poetry collection. I am looking forward to more of her work.

[Glassworks Magazine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Julie Marie Wade’s chapbook When I Was Straight, a title that may lead a reader to expect poems about the transition between sexual identities, is actually largely heterosexually focused. Wade speaks openly about her experiences with men at the start of her sexual awakening, comparing her role as a woman to the ideal feminine condition society preaches, and in contrast to the feelings she had for other women in her life, even before she acted on them. Instead of appealing only to lesbians, the content of Wade’s poetry is extremely relatable for any woman who might not be entirely comfortable in the gender roles society has assigned to her or who is questioning her sexuality.

Feminism is not brought up explicitly, but it is an underlying thread that runs throughout the entire work, lending intensity to her emotions and the words she chooses to express herself. The old-fashioned way of looking at how a woman relates to a man still lingers, although women are doing their best to destroy the sad excuses for the lack of progress, as displayed in the helplessness shown in Wade’s poem “There Was a Man in the Moon”: “The woman did not know how to work/the lawnmower, & the man did not know/how to work the microwave.” This presentation of a woman’s skills in the home versus a man’s know-how may have had a seed of truth in it once upon a time, but now women are freer to learn everything they want about the world. Women are also allowed to pursue careers and hobbies rather than just getting married and having children. Wade’s poem “It Was a Shame” brings up what girls are still not taught—how to be a sexual woman, like Wade was while figuring out her sexuality: “It was a shame. It was a phase. / It was a secret. / I wanted every man I met. / I courted danger on the dance floor.” Even before she was thinking about engaging another young lady in bedroom activities, Wade’s perceived promiscuous nature was looked down upon by society in general as unseemly. Girls going through puberty and experiencing hormones and sexual attraction for the first time are understandably confused about what is happening to their bodies and minds during this time and why they want new things, and they must be taught the truth in order to stay healthy.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

So relatable. So effortlessly captures how it feels to be a lesbian coming out over and over again, with every self-discovery and uncovered memory and new interaction. It’s all tied up into a beautiful collection ♥️

[Anna Powell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely delightful. Humorous yet tragic. A great book with beautiful commentary, yet one I felt comfortable recommending to people who are not poetry lovers.

[Sandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adore these small paperback books of poetry from LGBT authors from around the world.I got the impression that Julie Marie Wade wrote this series of poems to fully exorcise her demons about coming out.

Julie explores what it is like to feel the way she does; liberated and satisfied she goes on to mention what it was like to come out to her family, friends and work colleagues. She labels the two chapters Before and After as if she felt like she was on the transition between two people. After: When I Was Straight is the first chapter with 12 poems with When I Was Straight as the title. It is only when looking at the Contents page there are sub titles in brackets that make more sense.

In Before, Julie explains her past feeling and experiences of being straight that she has insatiable with her lust for men and as a heterosexual she was never questioned on her sexuality as she was considered normal. All her life she watched how her mother and father had acted around her and what her attitudes were to her boyfriends. Was there love in her heart for them or were they experiments?

Julie makes the poems seem like a short look at her life without the drawn out feel of a novel. When Julie was straight she was ordinary like everyone else, not flamboyant, not making waves as there are so many like her.

In After Julie lists her poems in order of importance, to her mother first, then her work colleague and police officer at her private school. In this chapter there are 11 poems that show how various people have reacted to Julie coming out. What surprised me were their attitudes towards her being a lesbian; acting as though she was going through a phase or not believing her choice of sexuality. Some even respond as if what she said was a joke.

The inspiration for When I Was Straight for Julie came from her having read two poems; When I Was Straight by Maureen Seaton and When I Was A Lesbian by Denise Duhamel. These rank as the two who have provided the inspiration for her work today and though I haven't read other novels by Julie, I am aware of her work and interested in reading it based on this compilation of poetry and lesbian studies.

For me the impressive part of this book was the transition from Julie being straight to becoming a lesbian and the reactions of those in her life; her mother and last of all in the later poems, her father who gives his own opinion of her transition in his silence.

[Matthew · Rating 4 out of 5]

A short and sweet poetry collection. I loved the structure of the poems before and after the author came out. Julie Marie Wade is quite funny and real with these poems. She does so much with very little content. I’m curious to read her other books now.

[jenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

very healing to read this.

[Paige Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Waaay smaller than I thought for the price. Lots of obvious tropes and millennial jokes but some cute moments, secondhand awkwardness, nice visuals like straightjacket sleeping bags.

[thalia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lovely queer poetry that is as relatable silly as it is saddening

[willowdog · Rating 3 out of 5]

Often funny and at the same time tragic, Wade's poems illuminate the time before coming-out as a lesbian and the reactions of family and acquaintances on this reveal. I enjoyed it, but didn't like structure--half the book is one liners on the reactions.

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

After most every poem I would react with A gasp, a "dayum", a "woah", a "wow", or place a hand on my heart and look up at the ceiling of my bedroom like "yaaaas!"

[Ananya Garg · Rating 5 out of 5]

excellent & hilarious