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The Frog Prince
At first, it was great. Sure. It always is. She cuddled a frog, wishing for more, and—presto! A handsome prince who doted on her. It meant the end of her marriage, of course, but her ex was something of a toad himself, who had a nasty habit of talking with his mouth full and a tongue good for nothing but licking stamps.
- GenresShort StoriesFairy Tales
5 pages, ebook
First published January 27, 2014
23 people want to read
About the author
Robert Coover
135 books379 followersRobert Lowell Coover was an American novelist, short story writer, and T. B. Stowell Professor Emeritus in Literary Arts at Brown University. He is generally considered a writer of fabulation and metafiction. He became a proponent of electronic literature and was a founder of the Electronic Literature Organization.
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
April 2, 2021
The Frog Prince, a traditional tale retold by the Brothers Grim of how a princess drops her golden ball into a pond which is retrieved by a frog after she agrees to bring the frog back to her palace and let him join her at meals and in her bedroom at night. However, once she actually has her golden ball in hand, the princess forgets all about the little green talking critter and gleefully skips back to her palace. And when the frog shows up at the royal premises to remind the princess of her promise, she initially says ‘no way, José’ but her father, the king, tells her she must honor her promise. The princess acquiesces and after three nights lying on her bedroom pillow, the frog transforms into a handsome prince, a prince who tells her he had been turned into a frog by a spiteful fairy but now he’d like to return to his kingdom and have the princess join him as his wife. A happily ever after story.
So what happens to this delightful tale when it passes through the vast magical vista of Robert Coover’s fertile, postmodern imagination? Well, here’s the author’s tangy opening lines: “At first, it was great. Sure. It always is. She cuddled a frog, wishing for more, and—presto! A handsome prince who doted on her. It meant the end of her marriage, of course, but her ex was something of a toad himself, who had a nasty habit of talking with his mouth full and a tongue good for nothing but licking stamps.”
The prince turned out to be quite the Adonis, possessing some uniquely amphibian-like traits, but in a positive way, including an absolutely amazing tongue, an astonishing tongue, a marvelously prodigious tongue that could reach down into her deepest recesses, prompting unique, heretofore unknown sensations. Do I hear echoes of the yoga practice of rolling the tongue back to touch the soft palate and the uvula at the back of the throat, eventually tasting the blissful nectar which flows down from the roof of the cavity, a practice known as kechari mudra? Maybe, maybe not – but, at any rate, she couldn’t get enough of that prince’s tongue.
Speaking of tongues, as we learn when we read a bit further, our heroine initially began her relationship with the prince back when he was a frog excreting substances with psychoactive properties. In other words, as a way to induce a mind-blowing hallucinogenic high, she was a frog licker. (You can Google search and read all about these psychoactive toads of the Colorado River and Sonoran Desert and how their chemicals can either induce a high or induce death). She could still blow her mind with the prince, since, as Robert Coover writes: “Though she could get a buzz by licking the frog anywhere, she had to go looking for it on the prince, mostly in the nether parts. He wasn’t the cleanest of princes, but the trip was worth it.”
How exactly was the trip worth it? Even better than Alice in Wonderland and Woodstock put together! “She was transported to another realm, a kind of fairy kingdom where she could have anything she desired: wealth, beauty, a spectacular wardrobe, a winning bridge hand, cream-filled chocolates with zero calories, and love whenever she wanted it, which was most of the time, even when she was doing other things, like presiding over a royal banquet or reviewing the palace guard. Just wham, bam, grand slam! Glorious! It all tended to vanish when the high wore off, but another lick and she was back again.” Oh, wow! How cool is that? Her experience really speaks to the powerful urge we humans have to repeat those ecstasy-induced chemical changes in our brains.
The story continues but I will leave my comments on this high note (pun very much intended). You can read this charming flash fiction in less than five minutes complements of The New Yorker:
http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/201...
Robert Coover - American author born 1932 and still going strong at age 84 with a new novel, Huck Out West, forthcoming January
April 5, 2021
UNE PISTACHE:
Consorting with Frogs
Once, when the prince was just eighteen, his grandfather, the duke, took the prince on a week-long trip to Paris.
The trip honoured a promise the duke had made. In the back of his mind when he originally made it was his belief that French women were less stuffy than their English counterparts. He was glad that he had had a relatively promiscuous life on the continent before he got married, even though married life had hardly turned out to be much less promiscuous.
The duke revealed his belief to the prince in the back of a taxi on their first night in Paris, on the way to the Moulin Rouge. "If there's something you must do before you get married, it's to fuck a Frog...And you'll find no better French women than at the Moulin Rouge."
The prince was intrigued, if a little sceptical: "Somebody told me that many of the dancers are Australians?"
The duke was equally sceptical, and replied: "We'll have to see about that. I'll ask Madame Clichy when we get there."
The duke and the prince watched the show from a private room at the side of the auditorium.
The last performance was different from the rest. The lighting was not the customary red, white and blue. It was green. The prince had seen it used once before in a show by Cirque de Soleil. Still, it captured his attention, as did the lead dancer.
When Madame Clichy, the manager, joined them in their room after the performance, the prince nervously asked her if they could meet the lead dancer, to which she responded, "Grenouille would be delighted."
Madame Clichy exited for a few minutes and returned with the dancer, whom she introduced as "Grenouille Verte."
Source: https://www.qtix.com.au/operaq2020/ev...
The prince shook her hand formally. Grenouille's hand was cold, and the duke could tell from his position at their side that both of them were extremely nervous.
The prince tried to engage Grenouille in some small talk with the limited French he had learned at school. He knew the right words to use, but his pronunciation sounded like how you'd expect the King's French to sound, if you've heard the Queen's English.
Grenouille did her best not to giggle, but still found the prince charming, well, as charming as an English prince can be. The prince, in turn, was fascinated by her natural ease, her makeup, and her elegant legs (the press referred to her shapely thighs as "Cuisses de Grenouille", as if they had a separate identity). Her eyes were made up with a vivid combination of green and gold, while her skin seemed to have retained the green tone that had captivated the prince during her performance.
Madame Clichy, ever keen to promote her establishment, offered to host a dinner for Grenouille and the prince at a nearby restaurant the following Tuesday, when Grenouille had a rest night, and which happened to be the last night before the duke and the prince returned to England.
The prince gladly accepted the invitation, even before he could consult the duke, although the duke was equally enthusiastic as Madame Clichy about this opportunity to advance his personal agenda.
Eirini Tornesaki - vocalist, "Kurios", Cirque du Soleil
Source: https://www.ellines.com/en/achievemen...
What occurred at the restaurant cannot be disclosed. Needless to say, the prince and Grenouille confirmed and consolidated their mutual attraction. The prince became a frequent visitor to Paris, and, after two years, the prince sought permission from the Queen to marry Grenouille, which she granted, and which proposal Grenouille, in turn, accepted.
Eighteen months after their wedding, Grenouille learned from the palace doctor that she was pregnant.
She and the prince were delighted by this news, and looked forward to the birth of their first child.
The pregnancy progressed normally, at least up until the delivery, which was short and smooth, but had an unexpected outcome. To the evident shock of the medical staff, Grenouille gave birth to a healthy four kilo green tree frog. After some inspection and deliberation, it was determined that the baby was a boy, whom Grenouille and the prince named "Tad".
The duke was the first member of the royal family to visit Grenouille and the prince. He, too, obviously, was shocked. He drew the prince aside and remarked, "I encouraged you to fuck a Frog, not to father one."
An unnamed member of the royal family subsequently expressed concern about the baby's skin tone. A spokesperson for the Queen clarified that everybody would have been happy if the royal baby's skin colour had been pistachio, but this baby was simply too green for a royal, even a prince. Tad looked more bottle green.
Grenouille and the prince released a statement in which they said, "We made our baby, we're going to keep him, and we're going to love him dearly."
Consorting with Frogs
Once, when the prince was just eighteen, his grandfather, the duke, took the prince on a week-long trip to Paris.
The trip honoured a promise the duke had made. In the back of his mind when he originally made it was his belief that French women were less stuffy than their English counterparts. He was glad that he had had a relatively promiscuous life on the continent before he got married, even though married life had hardly turned out to be much less promiscuous.
The duke revealed his belief to the prince in the back of a taxi on their first night in Paris, on the way to the Moulin Rouge. "If there's something you must do before you get married, it's to fuck a Frog...And you'll find no better French women than at the Moulin Rouge."
The prince was intrigued, if a little sceptical: "Somebody told me that many of the dancers are Australians?"
The duke was equally sceptical, and replied: "We'll have to see about that. I'll ask Madame Clichy when we get there."
The duke and the prince watched the show from a private room at the side of the auditorium.
The last performance was different from the rest. The lighting was not the customary red, white and blue. It was green. The prince had seen it used once before in a show by Cirque de Soleil. Still, it captured his attention, as did the lead dancer.
When Madame Clichy, the manager, joined them in their room after the performance, the prince nervously asked her if they could meet the lead dancer, to which she responded, "Grenouille would be delighted."
Madame Clichy exited for a few minutes and returned with the dancer, whom she introduced as "Grenouille Verte."
Source: https://www.qtix.com.au/operaq2020/ev...
The prince shook her hand formally. Grenouille's hand was cold, and the duke could tell from his position at their side that both of them were extremely nervous.
The prince tried to engage Grenouille in some small talk with the limited French he had learned at school. He knew the right words to use, but his pronunciation sounded like how you'd expect the King's French to sound, if you've heard the Queen's English.
Grenouille did her best not to giggle, but still found the prince charming, well, as charming as an English prince can be. The prince, in turn, was fascinated by her natural ease, her makeup, and her elegant legs (the press referred to her shapely thighs as "Cuisses de Grenouille", as if they had a separate identity). Her eyes were made up with a vivid combination of green and gold, while her skin seemed to have retained the green tone that had captivated the prince during her performance.
Madame Clichy, ever keen to promote her establishment, offered to host a dinner for Grenouille and the prince at a nearby restaurant the following Tuesday, when Grenouille had a rest night, and which happened to be the last night before the duke and the prince returned to England.
The prince gladly accepted the invitation, even before he could consult the duke, although the duke was equally enthusiastic as Madame Clichy about this opportunity to advance his personal agenda.
Eirini Tornesaki - vocalist, "Kurios", Cirque du Soleil
Source: https://www.ellines.com/en/achievemen...
What occurred at the restaurant cannot be disclosed. Needless to say, the prince and Grenouille confirmed and consolidated their mutual attraction. The prince became a frequent visitor to Paris, and, after two years, the prince sought permission from the Queen to marry Grenouille, which she granted, and which proposal Grenouille, in turn, accepted.
Eighteen months after their wedding, Grenouille learned from the palace doctor that she was pregnant.
She and the prince were delighted by this news, and looked forward to the birth of their first child.
The pregnancy progressed normally, at least up until the delivery, which was short and smooth, but had an unexpected outcome. To the evident shock of the medical staff, Grenouille gave birth to a healthy four kilo green tree frog. After some inspection and deliberation, it was determined that the baby was a boy, whom Grenouille and the prince named "Tad".
The duke was the first member of the royal family to visit Grenouille and the prince. He, too, obviously, was shocked. He drew the prince aside and remarked, "I encouraged you to fuck a Frog, not to father one."
An unnamed member of the royal family subsequently expressed concern about the baby's skin tone. A spokesperson for the Queen clarified that everybody would have been happy if the royal baby's skin colour had been pistachio, but this baby was simply too green for a royal, even a prince. Tad looked more bottle green.
Grenouille and the prince released a statement in which they said, "We made our baby, we're going to keep him, and we're going to love him dearly."
February 22, 2018
Druggies are gross and make for bad relationships. One could do worse than suburban malaise.
Very insightful.
Very insightful.
Read
July 21, 2017Listened to Gabe Hudson read this on The New Yorker Fiction podcast.
Rating and thoughts to come after I listen again tomorrow.
But pretty synchronistic to stumble upon this as I am currently Hudon's new novel, eh?
Rating and thoughts to come after I listen again tomorrow.
But pretty synchronistic to stumble upon this as I am currently Hudon's new novel, eh?
August 12, 2016
After reading this, no girl would ever want to kiss a frog... >_>
Read
November 10, 2016People often enter into sexual relationships without a clear idea of who they are as an individual and spend more energy creating a persona for their partner rather than allowing their partner to reveal themselves.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 30, 2022
I'm not going to lie -- I got nothing out of this retelling of the frog prince fairy tale. There were one or two times I did laugh, I suppose. But this really felt to me like the result of an assignment to a high school sophomore English class to reimagine this fairy tale, and they did it, while making a few sexual jokes, but that's about it. It really did not work for me.
July 8, 2017
A different telling of the fairy tale.
February 23, 2018
i did like that this was short!
2 stars
2 stars
Read
September 5, 2023Its tale of frog prince by Coover vew.full with sex joke not to me.i dont want to see after that any frog.its broken realitionshep set up.gd to end.as all live happy.it tall right.
Read
October 2, 2015Apparently my print=out is lacking a line ; my printer needs a copy=editor? At any rate, I can't wait for an eventual Collected Coover Shorts volume. Meanwhile, very nice that most of these are FREE on the internetz (check regular for those rotating PayWalls).
November 27, 2020
What a short and fun read! Now I'm thinking about the perspective of a frog princess who somehow met a frog prince that actually were a human.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews