A Silent Tsunami: Swimming Against the Tide of my Mother's Dementia - WINNER of the Rubery Book Award for Non-Fiction 2025

by Anthea Rowan

Combining personal and professional experience, A Silent Tsunami is a moving exploration of the development of Dementia and its impacts on a mother-daughter relationship.

'By turns, warm, reflective, angry, but always moving...the perfect balance between scientific context and the mother-daughter narrative'Professor Craig Ritchie, University of St Andrews

Anthea Rowan writes about her mother's struggles of living with Depression and Dementia, while interpreting our understandings of this life-changing illness. Grounded in observations, A Silent Tsunami aims to prepare others for what to expect when this tide changes by recounting the lessons learned from experiences and challenges.

Focusing on our relationship with our mothers and their influences on us, as well as the questions we ask ourselves about how mental illnesses and Dementia impact our lives, A Silent Tsunami is a powerful examination of family, life, love and loss.

Genres: Memoir

324 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 12, 2024

Reviews

[Carolina Lopes · Rating 5 out of 5]

"It is only months later that I will wonder: what would be worse, that your mother does not recognise you? Or that you do not know your own daughter?"

Even when millions of people suffer with Dementia and millions with its fallout, most don't know what it really entails or if there's any way to reduce their risk of getting it.

In this hauntingly honest, autobiographical book on dementia, Anthea shares her mother’s story, guiding us through the labyrinth of her mother’s illness, her own grief, her search for answers, and most importantly, her memories.

[Tom Sheard · Rating 5 out of 5]

so very far from my usual fare but astonishingly written; lyrical and moving. i cannot fathom the courage to write a book like this.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a powerfully written, raw memoir which provides a unique, honest insight into the author's experience of caring for her mother and dealing with the blows and losses inflicted by dementia. She also writes movingly and lovingly about inter-family relationships. Well worth the read.

[Nathalie Hoedt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow...
I avoided this book for as long as I could, for a couple of personal reasons. The first minor one was that I happened to know the author and her family. The what-if-I-don't-like-it-what-then scenario played on my mind. Would I confess to not liking it or would I "forget to write a review"? The second, much more consequential dilemma was my uncle being in the throes of AD, approaching his inevitable demise with alarming rapidity. Faced with a sudden and very personal fight with AD, I attempted to downplay its relevance with all the denial I could muster (and gosh, aren't we humans the masters of denial!).
One sunny morning, I mindlessly grabbed it off the shelf to sit in the glorious sunshine. Armed with a cup of coffee, I decided that I could and would be brave. What revelations ensued!
The first one is that the personal connection to Anthea did not matter one jot as I immersed myself in the story and devoured each page with a new sense of urgency. I needed to know what would happen next, I needed to understand the science behind AD. Another revelation was the abundance of love, resilience and bravery that can sustain a daughter through the hardest of trials to nurse a mother who had no idea that they were related most of the time.
Over the next few days, I immersed myself unrestrained in the special daughter-mother bond that Anthea enjoyed with her mum, a glorious sorrow I had not known, and will never know.
As I approached the end of the book, I stopped wanting to read it for inexplicable reasons that my mind stubbornly refused to consider or compute. After a few days, it dawned on me that I simply wanted the main character to live on, even recover, and the only way to make this happen, at least in my little reading world, was not to finish the book, to refuse to read the last chapter. I did eventually, tears running down my face, as I finally started to grieve for my uncle.
I could not recommend this book enough. It spurred me on to want to delve deeper into Alzheimer's and liberated me from the shackles of denial.
It's your turn now. Sit down comfortably with a cup of goodness and delve in.

[Susan Belperio · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this poignant mother-daughter story to be utterly mesmerising. The highly poetic style was unlike any other dementia memoir that I’ve read, and succeeded in creating a dreamlike quality that overlaid the many challenges faced by Anthea’s Mother as she suffered successive health problems such as refractory depression, a stroke and finally dementia. The accompanying scientific enquiry was expertly superimposed on her mother’s symptoms as some sort of tangible explanation for both the cause and effects of her dementia. The slightly non-linear narrative at times required extra attention, but it somehow helped to blur the already blurry lines between her mother’s possibly interrelated health issues.
I felt much less alone after finishing this book, as so many of the experiences were mirror images of my own Mum’s heartbreaking journey with Lewy Body dementia, a journey which I too have documented in the form of a book length manuscript for potential publication. This book is a must read for anyone who has a loved one suffering from dementia, and I would not hesitate to give it 6 stars if that was possible.

[Carol Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

The difficult topic of dementia handled sensitively and the science unpacked into easily understandable chunks. I’m reading the book now and if I didn’t have to go to work I’d have finished it In a matter of days.

[Michele]

Me and my mother: the most moving dementia story you’ll read

https://www.thetimes.com/article/ced6...