What do you think?
Rate this book
The Single Issue
Nearly half today's adult population is unmarried. Most churches, however, emphasize marriage and family in a way that leaves many Christian singles feeling like second-class citizens. Although Jesus himself was single, the single state is often regarded as a problem in itself (rather than as having problems, as marriage does). By contrast, 'The Single Issue' sets out a positive, biblical view that honours singleness as a status equal to marriage. Avoiding trite advice on how to suffer through the single life, it offers practical insights on key concerns such as sex, celibacy and the constructive use of solitude - and points the way to a Christian community in which all members are equally valued.
224 pages, Paperback
First published October 1, 1997
10 people are currently reading
161 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
June 29, 2024
A very encouraging outlook on the single life. Would recommend to any single Pringles regardless of whether they’re ready to mingle.
September 17, 2009
I've never read, let alone SEEN, a book that writes about singleness in this way. Usually I see book after book written by well-coiffed white women writing about "How to Enjoy the Single Life" or "Jesus as our Ultimate Husband" or "How to Get a Guy" which are all noble topics and are very important, I believe to the single life of a Christian. The third topic less vital. But this book is written by an Asian dude, who remains faceless due to no picture. Not that race or gender have much to do with this, but it was still surprising to me upon seeing the author's name about 10 pages into the book. Most books dealing with singleness just ARE written by women. So this was a refreshing appetizer to an even more refreshing main course.
This book doesn't try to console your singleness, it delves into the Word of God and shows us theological evidence of why singleness is on par with marriage. The author, Albert Hsu, takes myths and common beliefs in the Church about singleness and marriage and bursts them wide open with well-researched Biblical evidence that helps create a foundation of proof of why most of what we believe about singleness being second class and marriage being the Golden Ticket to Willa Wonka's Chocolate factory to be unbiblical. Not to mention, counter cultural.
I was encouraged, not only by the fact that the Bible definitely offers support and legitimacy to being a single person, but also by the unavoidable fact that the love of Jesus is the ultimate love and is available to everyone without limits whether we are married or not. And we can take off with that relationship no matter where we are in our life. Jesus is the most crucial part of life's equation. It is the equation. And singleness and marriage are merely two ways to experience this mathematical (well, more accurately, SPIRITUAL) gift of life and love. They are both good, for the Bible tells me so.
This book doesn't try to console your singleness, it delves into the Word of God and shows us theological evidence of why singleness is on par with marriage. The author, Albert Hsu, takes myths and common beliefs in the Church about singleness and marriage and bursts them wide open with well-researched Biblical evidence that helps create a foundation of proof of why most of what we believe about singleness being second class and marriage being the Golden Ticket to Willa Wonka's Chocolate factory to be unbiblical. Not to mention, counter cultural.
I was encouraged, not only by the fact that the Bible definitely offers support and legitimacy to being a single person, but also by the unavoidable fact that the love of Jesus is the ultimate love and is available to everyone without limits whether we are married or not. And we can take off with that relationship no matter where we are in our life. Jesus is the most crucial part of life's equation. It is the equation. And singleness and marriage are merely two ways to experience this mathematical (well, more accurately, SPIRITUAL) gift of life and love. They are both good, for the Bible tells me so.
October 21, 2023
This book probably gives single people over 30 some assurance in God. Most of the times singles would be neglected in their ministry as they've been serving and getting involved in many areas as they can and they'd went through unfair, downgrading and hurtful times. Because most leaders or pastors who's married will not understand them or maybe they'll value married people over single servers all the time. They wouldn't know how valuable and available singles could be in church ministries. I'd recommend this book for every singles whether want to marry or want to put hold on to marriage and also leaders and pastors of church who's working with many young adults. It may reveal different side of being single and for singles it could give you steps to take to be better and whole single Christian
September 7, 2025
Hsu’s book “Singles at the Crossroads” is solid, but a bit dated.
August 7, 2015
The Single Issue began with some interesting statistics on singleness, why people of this generation are staying unmarried a bit longer etc. He also discussed some truth about the Church where, instead of being a community and healing for the entire body of Christ you find that singles are excluded. Singles may either always come up in conversation as the person waiting(praying) for the spouse to come along as if it is main fixation that will determine how life unfolds or they may be excluded from church activity, prayer concerns etc. We pray for families, for married couples dealing with marital issues but not for singles, in particular singles that come from natural families that are not believing ones. Despite Hsu few important points that I agreed with, he has many controversial(in my estimation) positions. Sometimes the negativity towards marriage was quite strong. Somehow, I especially had a problem with chapter 4 The Issue of God's Will and 5. Freedom and opportunity. While I see the freedom that may happen in a married couple not having children it seemed incorrect to make a broad statement like "Nowhere has it been shown that life satisfaction is based on the presence of children in the home." While we should not put prime satisfaction in anything but Christ, who is to say that having children is not a satisfying thing for some couples. I personally know a few of them. I am no expert on relationships but the concept of married celibacy is odd to me as well. For one thing the book helped me to understand where I was at and how I perceived my own singleness and what I would like in my future if marriage is a part of it.
February 24, 2013
Controversial. Some good things, but a lot of iffy 'theology' with not much Biblical support for the many claims made throughout.
Read
July 28, 2011Hsu’s purpose in this book is to address an issue that he does feel has been adequately treated in Christian History. Previous treatments have often had distorted or fluctuating views of what it means to be single in a Christian context (ch.2). Also, at the present time, marriage and family is an exceptionally popular topic among Christian authors (10). Perhaps ignored in all that emphasis is a practical theology for the rest, the unmarried and those who do not live in families. What book is to be for them?
The problem is heightened, not just by the fact that the group has not often been the focus of the presses, but also by the fact that singles are not a marginal group. In the twentieth century the tenable belief that adult Americans were married and lived with their families lost its footing. As his chart shows, whereas the turn of the century boasted of a 95% marriage rate for adults, the waning years of that century would show a sharp decline in those numbers, only 53% of American adults being presently married (15). Singles, from whatever cause (whether never married, divorced etc...), now compromise a significant portion of the population. Though they are no longer a marginal group, a quick trip along the bookshelves of the local Christian bookstore ca leave one feeling as though singles have been marginalized.
Into this void comes Hsu’s book, filling the much-needed role of speaking to the growing population of singles that populate our country and therefore our churches. Hsu sought in the book not to treat singles as though they were merely a marginal group within society. Rather, Hsu sought to treat singleness as a gift of God that is itself, whether permanent singleness or temporary, is a high calling on par with the calling of marriage as a place in one’s life in which to serve the Kingdom.
Hsu’s book makes several significant contributions worth noting. One is the recognition of the growing population of singles within the populace and the churches. In days such as these, when much focus is given to the traditional forms of family in order to combat the many intrusions that secular culture have made into the institution of marriage, we must not ignore that there are those who do not fit into that model of life. This is not to deny the virtue of the traditional understanding of marriage but to help the church minister to a growing number of individuals who are not at that place in life. Giving such recognition to these numbers can help ministers shape their churches to deal with such population dynamics.
Another contribution is giving a proper respect to the role of single individuals against some of the views that have been held throughout history. The church had at times viewed singleness as an escape from societal pressures toward marriage (38) and as a special calling, and perhaps over-exalted as such, to fulfilling an ascetic lifestyle (38-39). This was taken to an extreme to say that by a celibate priesthood singleness was the only appropriate way to serve God fully (40-42) but another extreme was taken against this position in order to say that marriage was commanded for all except in the rarest of cases (44). With a pendulum swinging between such extremes, Hsu helps us find a balanced view toward the place of singles and how they can serve.
Hsu also sought to dispel the myth of singleness as a gift. While it is truly a gift, it is not the gift that is often conceived on. Hsu reminds that both singleness and marriage are gifts that can both be used for service to the Kingdom. Both gifts are on equal standing and all Christians begin with the gift of singleness, not just a mythical breed of human that is free from sexual temptation and who only has a strong sense of self-identity outside of marriage.
Another contribution given by Hsu is one that speaks directly to one of the problems often faced by singles–loneliness. Yes, singles may often be alone, but this need not mean that they feel lonely for even those who are not alone can feel lonely. There can be a tendency to look back toward good times of school community in our youth or college days and to look forward to the possibilities of future married life. Doing so, though, does not respect the present moment in which singles find themselves. Singles can often only see the privation of past and future community without making an effort to build community as singles. This is often not helped by churches, which can focus its ministries on families with ministries to couples and to children, thus leaving out singles. For those in positions to effect such change, Hsu can prod them to be sure to include in the churches plans ministries that can utilize the freedom and opportunity that singles often have.
It has been noted that this book has had a longer shelf life than most books on the topic of families and relationships. Perhaps this is because Hsu seeks balance in his understanding of the nature of singleness. He is also strong on developing biblical themes on the subject.
If anything is lacking in the book, it is that it is often only introductory. This is not necessarily a criticism as much as it is recognition of the scope that the book strives to reach. Hsu pointed out that there are many types of singles, not just those that have never married. There are also widows and those divorced.
The book speaks broadly and seems most inclusive of that typical form of single adult but does not speak fairly specifically to those non-typical singles. A single mother, for example, would need encouragement beyond this, although she certainly may find some encouragement here. To her, to say that singleness is a time of great freedom and opportunity may seem distant since she has the responsibility of raising children.
That being said, it is necessary to note that not all books can speak directly to all people. It is a fine line, though, between speaking to one marginalized group and further marginalizing another. If a non-typical single such as a single mother or a seventy-year-old widow were to read this book, it would be a great addition to offer suggestion for further reading where they could find works that speak directly to them in their situation. Ministry is messy and people are in a high variety of places in life and no one book can hope to speak with them all.
The role that this book could play in one’s life and ministry is diverse. For those who are single, for whatever reason, they can find encouragement and renewed purpose for their current state in life. It can also be a corrective for married couples that may have a distorted view of their single friends. They need to know that their friend, though single, is no less a servant of the Kingdom and can equally serve in their state as the couple can in theirs. The single is not necessarily irresponsible but is in that season of life given different responsibilities than those who are married.
For pastors and church leaders especially this book can be helpful. The temptation can be to guide the church’s ministries toward families. Sunday School curricula can be written without thought of application to this growing population. They must know that there is a significant portion of their congregation that needs to be ministered to in this way.
Singles need not only be ministered to. They can also be effective ministers within the congregation. Pastors may even be in remiss of their duties if they ignore this group that has the flexibility to be involved in church activities in ways that married folks cannot. While pastors may tend to rely on the stalwart members of their churches, fathers and mothers who are raising the sorts of children that they should, those parents may have to be at a soccer game or helping the child in its education. The pastors must not forget that they have such a versatile and powerful resource with the single population of the church they lead.
Perhaps reading the word “fresh” in the subtitle can give an air of presumptuousness, but Hsu’s book is truly that. This is not another turn toward the worn, well-intention yet erroneous sentiments that are often given toward singles. Hsu’s book gives value to that time of life and recognizes that this demographic can be empowered to ministry work that many others cannot.
The problem is heightened, not just by the fact that the group has not often been the focus of the presses, but also by the fact that singles are not a marginal group. In the twentieth century the tenable belief that adult Americans were married and lived with their families lost its footing. As his chart shows, whereas the turn of the century boasted of a 95% marriage rate for adults, the waning years of that century would show a sharp decline in those numbers, only 53% of American adults being presently married (15). Singles, from whatever cause (whether never married, divorced etc...), now compromise a significant portion of the population. Though they are no longer a marginal group, a quick trip along the bookshelves of the local Christian bookstore ca leave one feeling as though singles have been marginalized.
Into this void comes Hsu’s book, filling the much-needed role of speaking to the growing population of singles that populate our country and therefore our churches. Hsu sought in the book not to treat singles as though they were merely a marginal group within society. Rather, Hsu sought to treat singleness as a gift of God that is itself, whether permanent singleness or temporary, is a high calling on par with the calling of marriage as a place in one’s life in which to serve the Kingdom.
Hsu’s book makes several significant contributions worth noting. One is the recognition of the growing population of singles within the populace and the churches. In days such as these, when much focus is given to the traditional forms of family in order to combat the many intrusions that secular culture have made into the institution of marriage, we must not ignore that there are those who do not fit into that model of life. This is not to deny the virtue of the traditional understanding of marriage but to help the church minister to a growing number of individuals who are not at that place in life. Giving such recognition to these numbers can help ministers shape their churches to deal with such population dynamics.
Another contribution is giving a proper respect to the role of single individuals against some of the views that have been held throughout history. The church had at times viewed singleness as an escape from societal pressures toward marriage (38) and as a special calling, and perhaps over-exalted as such, to fulfilling an ascetic lifestyle (38-39). This was taken to an extreme to say that by a celibate priesthood singleness was the only appropriate way to serve God fully (40-42) but another extreme was taken against this position in order to say that marriage was commanded for all except in the rarest of cases (44). With a pendulum swinging between such extremes, Hsu helps us find a balanced view toward the place of singles and how they can serve.
Hsu also sought to dispel the myth of singleness as a gift. While it is truly a gift, it is not the gift that is often conceived on. Hsu reminds that both singleness and marriage are gifts that can both be used for service to the Kingdom. Both gifts are on equal standing and all Christians begin with the gift of singleness, not just a mythical breed of human that is free from sexual temptation and who only has a strong sense of self-identity outside of marriage.
Another contribution given by Hsu is one that speaks directly to one of the problems often faced by singles–loneliness. Yes, singles may often be alone, but this need not mean that they feel lonely for even those who are not alone can feel lonely. There can be a tendency to look back toward good times of school community in our youth or college days and to look forward to the possibilities of future married life. Doing so, though, does not respect the present moment in which singles find themselves. Singles can often only see the privation of past and future community without making an effort to build community as singles. This is often not helped by churches, which can focus its ministries on families with ministries to couples and to children, thus leaving out singles. For those in positions to effect such change, Hsu can prod them to be sure to include in the churches plans ministries that can utilize the freedom and opportunity that singles often have.
It has been noted that this book has had a longer shelf life than most books on the topic of families and relationships. Perhaps this is because Hsu seeks balance in his understanding of the nature of singleness. He is also strong on developing biblical themes on the subject.
If anything is lacking in the book, it is that it is often only introductory. This is not necessarily a criticism as much as it is recognition of the scope that the book strives to reach. Hsu pointed out that there are many types of singles, not just those that have never married. There are also widows and those divorced.
The book speaks broadly and seems most inclusive of that typical form of single adult but does not speak fairly specifically to those non-typical singles. A single mother, for example, would need encouragement beyond this, although she certainly may find some encouragement here. To her, to say that singleness is a time of great freedom and opportunity may seem distant since she has the responsibility of raising children.
That being said, it is necessary to note that not all books can speak directly to all people. It is a fine line, though, between speaking to one marginalized group and further marginalizing another. If a non-typical single such as a single mother or a seventy-year-old widow were to read this book, it would be a great addition to offer suggestion for further reading where they could find works that speak directly to them in their situation. Ministry is messy and people are in a high variety of places in life and no one book can hope to speak with them all.
The role that this book could play in one’s life and ministry is diverse. For those who are single, for whatever reason, they can find encouragement and renewed purpose for their current state in life. It can also be a corrective for married couples that may have a distorted view of their single friends. They need to know that their friend, though single, is no less a servant of the Kingdom and can equally serve in their state as the couple can in theirs. The single is not necessarily irresponsible but is in that season of life given different responsibilities than those who are married.
For pastors and church leaders especially this book can be helpful. The temptation can be to guide the church’s ministries toward families. Sunday School curricula can be written without thought of application to this growing population. They must know that there is a significant portion of their congregation that needs to be ministered to in this way.
Singles need not only be ministered to. They can also be effective ministers within the congregation. Pastors may even be in remiss of their duties if they ignore this group that has the flexibility to be involved in church activities in ways that married folks cannot. While pastors may tend to rely on the stalwart members of their churches, fathers and mothers who are raising the sorts of children that they should, those parents may have to be at a soccer game or helping the child in its education. The pastors must not forget that they have such a versatile and powerful resource with the single population of the church they lead.
Perhaps reading the word “fresh” in the subtitle can give an air of presumptuousness, but Hsu’s book is truly that. This is not another turn toward the worn, well-intention yet erroneous sentiments that are often given toward singles. Hsu’s book gives value to that time of life and recognizes that this demographic can be empowered to ministry work that many others cannot.
October 29, 2022
This started off really strong, exploring the Jewish view of singleness and marriage, and how Jesus transformed the traditional view, showing that the Church family comes before the earthly one, and that it grows spiritually rather than biologically.
Then he brings up God's will in marital status, and he does acknowledge multiple viewpoints here, but he doesn't really have enough space to do this discussion justice, which is understandable. However, I wasn't satisfied with where he himself ended up on the spectrum.
He states, "We must not assume that God is to blame for our singleness any more than he is at fault for all the woes of the world." (p 76) But this implies that singleness is something bad, which he's claimed elsewhere in the book isn't true. And if both singleness and marriage are good gifts from God, equal but different, and if James is correct when he states that "all good things come down from the Father of lights" (aka God), then, yes, God is responsible for our singleness, but that's not a bad thing.
He also quotes someone who says that, "Marriage is not demanded of anyone; neither is abstention from marriage, even for the sake of the kingdom of God." Again, I disagree. I wholeheartedly believe that the Holy Spirit lives and moves in Christians, and that He reveals to us, through His Spirit, a more specific will for our lives than what the Bible contains. This will never contradict the Bible, but very well may convince a person that God wants them to be single or married, specifically. It's not "demanded" in the sense that we don't have free will, but obedience never is. That doesn't mean we always do whatever we want without consequences.
I was also frustrated with his thoughts on singles having more time or opportunities to serve than marrieds. I felt that he kept contradicting himself in different chapters.
He seems to misinterpret a couple of verses simply by misunderstanding the correct definition of certain English words, or how they were used.
He quotes the Message a few times like it's a translation instead of a paraphrase, one of my pet peeves.
He assumes all singles are college graduates.
He reveals spoilers for multiple books.
Overall, I was disappointed with this. There's definitely some good here, but it's mixed in so completely with the bad that it seems cancelled out.
Then he brings up God's will in marital status, and he does acknowledge multiple viewpoints here, but he doesn't really have enough space to do this discussion justice, which is understandable. However, I wasn't satisfied with where he himself ended up on the spectrum.
He states, "We must not assume that God is to blame for our singleness any more than he is at fault for all the woes of the world." (p 76) But this implies that singleness is something bad, which he's claimed elsewhere in the book isn't true. And if both singleness and marriage are good gifts from God, equal but different, and if James is correct when he states that "all good things come down from the Father of lights" (aka God), then, yes, God is responsible for our singleness, but that's not a bad thing.
He also quotes someone who says that, "Marriage is not demanded of anyone; neither is abstention from marriage, even for the sake of the kingdom of God." Again, I disagree. I wholeheartedly believe that the Holy Spirit lives and moves in Christians, and that He reveals to us, through His Spirit, a more specific will for our lives than what the Bible contains. This will never contradict the Bible, but very well may convince a person that God wants them to be single or married, specifically. It's not "demanded" in the sense that we don't have free will, but obedience never is. That doesn't mean we always do whatever we want without consequences.
I was also frustrated with his thoughts on singles having more time or opportunities to serve than marrieds. I felt that he kept contradicting himself in different chapters.
He seems to misinterpret a couple of verses simply by misunderstanding the correct definition of certain English words, or how they were used.
He quotes the Message a few times like it's a translation instead of a paraphrase, one of my pet peeves.
He assumes all singles are college graduates.
He reveals spoilers for multiple books.
Overall, I was disappointed with this. There's definitely some good here, but it's mixed in so completely with the bad that it seems cancelled out.
June 28, 2023
Mostly a reaction against negative and unhelpful conceptions of celibacy, which could be liberating for celibate people who have never heard alternatives to these. But, I think I was hoping for something more constructive and uplifting—a calling into something beautiful, rather than a defense against messages that it is ugly. The presentation would be strengthened by a more robust vision of what it means to be humans imaging Christ imaging God, grounded in the gospel, which then has implications for living as celibate or married. I did appreciate Hsu's treatment of celibacy as gift.
July 9, 2024
Al Hsu definitely gave a fresh perspective on Christian singleness. It is a must-read!
October 15, 2023
The Single Issue, also known as Singles at the Crossroads, is a book about Christian singleness in the late 1990s, giving the cultural context of change in the late 20th Century. Albert Hsu also wrote this within the context of purity culture that was rampant in that time, and a small reference is placed there. However, for someone who grew up in a purity culture church (although my church was different in the way in which parent parishioners reacted to the culture being smuggled in), reading this in 2023 was a needed conversation partner after a much needed reset on how to think about singleness especially going through a small amount of dating in the previous year. However, there are some problems with some of the biblical interpretations.
Chapter 1 covers a situational status about singleness in 1997. We might use different language in 2020's like calling biological singles as asexuals, aromantics or aroace's for example. Chapter 2 presents a basic biblical and historical theological look at singleness from the Old Testament til around 100 years ago. For a pastor friend, this was a tipping point that he had to take the concern seriously about how 'family friendly' services can be focused too much on the individual families within the church, and not so much the found family of God in the whole church congregation.
Chapter 3, which discusses the problem with the so called 'gift of singleness' in some other dating material. His argument against is something I would want to agree with, especially in the ways it can make a Christian feel incomplete being not married. However, I did find the interpretation of John 4 to be confusing (Jesus speaks to a woman alone. So? Women supported Jesus ministry in Luke. Seems to be a surface level reading of that scene, and reading adultery as idolatry gets you a bit further.) I Cor 7 was also treated in isolation of the reason why Paul is speaking about sexual immorality in the Corinthian church, and the diversity of spiritual gifts that he later speaks about.
Chapter 4 main line seems to be that "Gods will is for community with him and for others" and when I read it, there was a sense of being present in people's lives was more present. He gives 5 things to focus on for how to discern God's will. Would need to reflect on this. Chapter 5 discusses the benefits of singleness as compared to marriage, and considers the other ways in which we are called to do within our single lives. There is a bit of focus on "The time to get healthy is before the time you get married" and expressing other forms of love other than eros.
Chapter 6 had a lot of ideas and thoughts about how to think about singleness and solitude. While not much bible per se, much of what I wrote notes on how I view my alone time compared to other authors. You need to read the biblical and historical view of singleness from chapter 2 to get to anywhere with this chapter. Chapter 7 focuses on singleness and community, and how I can love the communities that I'm in and how to love one another in those communities. This gets into church and loving your church outside thinking about church.
Chapter 8 & 9 focuses on the temptations of lust in singleness, and the other challenges that single people face, such as putting in margins and how I view the spaces I own/rent. Some of this I think through more as it's seems to be that I haven't put in the margins in my life this year. I would have read a couple of books in a year, but this year I didn't really do that. I thought I could add new hobbies, but felt that I was focused on too many things. Much to think through
This is a conversation starter book. I don't agree with all of Hsu's points, but it did give me a time to feel content in my singleness and to see how that is a biblical approach, and it also gave me more to consider during this time of my life. Would still recommend this book with a mature Christian.
Chapter 1 covers a situational status about singleness in 1997. We might use different language in 2020's like calling biological singles as asexuals, aromantics or aroace's for example. Chapter 2 presents a basic biblical and historical theological look at singleness from the Old Testament til around 100 years ago. For a pastor friend, this was a tipping point that he had to take the concern seriously about how 'family friendly' services can be focused too much on the individual families within the church, and not so much the found family of God in the whole church congregation.
Chapter 3, which discusses the problem with the so called 'gift of singleness' in some other dating material. His argument against is something I would want to agree with, especially in the ways it can make a Christian feel incomplete being not married. However, I did find the interpretation of John 4 to be confusing (Jesus speaks to a woman alone. So? Women supported Jesus ministry in Luke. Seems to be a surface level reading of that scene, and reading adultery as idolatry gets you a bit further.) I Cor 7 was also treated in isolation of the reason why Paul is speaking about sexual immorality in the Corinthian church, and the diversity of spiritual gifts that he later speaks about.
Chapter 4 main line seems to be that "Gods will is for community with him and for others" and when I read it, there was a sense of being present in people's lives was more present. He gives 5 things to focus on for how to discern God's will. Would need to reflect on this. Chapter 5 discusses the benefits of singleness as compared to marriage, and considers the other ways in which we are called to do within our single lives. There is a bit of focus on "The time to get healthy is before the time you get married" and expressing other forms of love other than eros.
Chapter 6 had a lot of ideas and thoughts about how to think about singleness and solitude. While not much bible per se, much of what I wrote notes on how I view my alone time compared to other authors. You need to read the biblical and historical view of singleness from chapter 2 to get to anywhere with this chapter. Chapter 7 focuses on singleness and community, and how I can love the communities that I'm in and how to love one another in those communities. This gets into church and loving your church outside thinking about church.
Chapter 8 & 9 focuses on the temptations of lust in singleness, and the other challenges that single people face, such as putting in margins and how I view the spaces I own/rent. Some of this I think through more as it's seems to be that I haven't put in the margins in my life this year. I would have read a couple of books in a year, but this year I didn't really do that. I thought I could add new hobbies, but felt that I was focused on too many things. Much to think through
This is a conversation starter book. I don't agree with all of Hsu's points, but it did give me a time to feel content in my singleness and to see how that is a biblical approach, and it also gave me more to consider during this time of my life. Would still recommend this book with a mature Christian.
September 13, 2011
Hsu’s treatment of singleness is readable, thoughtful, and practical. He writes as a single person to all of us. (The appendix may be the most helpful part of this book. See end of this review for comments.)
You can get a feel for the book from the chapter titles. (A sentence synopsis and evaluation follows each chapter.)
Introduction: Why This Book?
1. Where Singles Are Today?
(Published in 1997, the statistics here are woefully out of date.)
2. A Brief History of Singleness
(A helpful historical survey of how the church-from church fathers to reformers, from Protestants Catholics-has viewed singleness.)
3. The Myth of the Gift
(A brief chapter with a somewhat novel, but still helpful, exposition of 1 Corinthians 7.)
4. The Issue of God’s Will
5. Freedom and Opportunity
(Didn't agree with everything here, but good thoughts for wrestling through whether or not singleness
is "God's will for my life.")
6. From Loneliness to Solitude
7. From Aloneness to Community
(Excellent two chapters balancing the need we all have for solitude, while also highlighting God's gracious provision for the loneliness of singleness is the local church.)
8. Rethinking Romance
(This chapter necessarily smashes western cultural idols of romance.)
9. Temptations Singles Face
(Practical and honest)
Epilogue: A Visions for the Future
Appendix: John Stott on Singleness
The Appendix is one of the most insightful parts of the book, where Hsu interviews the recently deceased John Stott. Stott carried out his fifty-plus years of ministry as a single man. In this interview he shares his insights on relevant passages, his personal struggles, and the sacrifices and privileges of being single.
You can get a feel for the book from the chapter titles. (A sentence synopsis and evaluation follows each chapter.)
Introduction: Why This Book?
1. Where Singles Are Today?
(Published in 1997, the statistics here are woefully out of date.)
2. A Brief History of Singleness
(A helpful historical survey of how the church-from church fathers to reformers, from Protestants Catholics-has viewed singleness.)
3. The Myth of the Gift
(A brief chapter with a somewhat novel, but still helpful, exposition of 1 Corinthians 7.)
4. The Issue of God’s Will
5. Freedom and Opportunity
(Didn't agree with everything here, but good thoughts for wrestling through whether or not singleness
is "God's will for my life.")
6. From Loneliness to Solitude
7. From Aloneness to Community
(Excellent two chapters balancing the need we all have for solitude, while also highlighting God's gracious provision for the loneliness of singleness is the local church.)
8. Rethinking Romance
(This chapter necessarily smashes western cultural idols of romance.)
9. Temptations Singles Face
(Practical and honest)
Epilogue: A Visions for the Future
Appendix: John Stott on Singleness
The Appendix is one of the most insightful parts of the book, where Hsu interviews the recently deceased John Stott. Stott carried out his fifty-plus years of ministry as a single man. In this interview he shares his insights on relevant passages, his personal struggles, and the sacrifices and privileges of being single.
October 22, 2012
I came across this book at a thrift store for a dollar. Unlike most books for Christian singles, it looked positive and not centered around how to get married ASAP, so I gave it a chance, and am so glad I did. This is an affirming look at what the Bible really says about singleness. It upholds singleness as an EQUALLY valid and valued state to marriage, debunking the common message that you're a second-class citizen in the Church until you're married. Hsu also takes apart the myth that some are "called to singleness" (which can result in feelings of despair or hopelessness). After reading this, I felt empowered and reassured in my choices and attitudes as a Christian single adult. It should be required reading for church leadership everywhere, especially the heads of women's ministries. :P However, for me it fell just short of five stars - because it was written in 1996, so it's a little dated, and Hsu is slightly preachy and overly simplistic at times. He also believes romantic love is a farce and has no real place in a Christian marriage, which I don't agree with.
February 12, 2017
Wow--I was totally not expecting to enjoy this book so much!
This book is an extremely well balanced beginners' guide to developing a stronger personal theology of singleness. It rightly identifies popular lies (not just the superficial ones), it gives a broader historical perspective on the topic, and gives good ministerial ideas for singles.
This book is an extremely well balanced beginners' guide to developing a stronger personal theology of singleness. It rightly identifies popular lies (not just the superficial ones), it gives a broader historical perspective on the topic, and gives good ministerial ideas for singles.
September 11, 2007
Non-fiction about Christian singlehood. I don't know, this book didn't really thrill me. I guess some points were good, like the repeated message that being single is good, just like being married is good; they each have their own benefits and problems. But other parts were not particularly helpful, like the section on loneliness, although I think I've heard some of the same advice before. And some of Hsu's advice just wasn't practical in my case. And, this is really petty of me, but I hate the way he did his citations.
June 19, 2013
Had some helpful information regarding common myths/things people say about being single (such as it's a "gift" or God has someone special picked out just for you). I skimmed a lot of it. It's a bit dated and some of what the author argues is questionable and a lot is kind of common sense stuff. It did give me a better handle I think on how to approach singleness and be better able to know what to say when someone speaks to me about being single, but it wasn't as helpful as I was hoping it would be.
March 12, 2022
Probably one of the most helpful books I've read on singleness. Hsu does an excellent job in showing how unhelpful it is to follow our culture's idea that marriage is the ultimate, showing how both singleness and marriage are wonderful gifts from God. He discusses the myths that we are tempted to believe about both singleness and marriage, and also challenges us not to waste the time God has given us, but rather to resist the challenges to be self-focussed or fall into various other temptations.
May 23, 2015
This is a great book for anyone who is navigating being single in the church and for married people and church leaders (most of whom are married) who need to relate to singles in their congregations. Hsu helps debunk misconceptions and falsehoods about marriage, romance, solitude, and "the gift of singleness" and provides positive, healthy ways to view both singleness and marriage in the church. Highly recommended.
November 12, 2007
It's okay to be single. It's refreshing to hear this.
With SO much emphasis on "family values" in the church (and a somewhat twisted perception that people who are not living the life of a happy couple with picket fence and dog named spot are missing out on something) it's refreshing to know that a devout Christian states repeatedly that being single is okay.
With SO much emphasis on "family values" in the church (and a somewhat twisted perception that people who are not living the life of a happy couple with picket fence and dog named spot are missing out on something) it's refreshing to know that a devout Christian states repeatedly that being single is okay.
October 25, 2015
Living wholesome lives is possible if you are single. Hsu encourages singles to find their first identification in the relationship with God and serving Him into the community of the body of Christ. If and when God sends someone along as a partner is secondary. Trying to seek fullfillment outside of God and church binom may lead to idolize marriage or place a false security in it.
December 16, 2022
Whether your current situation is single or married; it's a gift so live it well. In debunking the myths that pedestal marriage and the misunderstanding of 'the gift of singleness', Hsu shows how both states are opportunities in which to follow Jesus.
Lots to think about re how society and the church engage with singleness as a 'problem' and a waiting game.
Lots to think about re how society and the church engage with singleness as a 'problem' and a waiting game.
January 26, 2010
One of the other staff here put this on the bookshelf in the common room in the staff house so I picked it up. It's about singleness. It's pretty good. Nothing incredibly fabulous or new but sort of a good reminder of what is good and different about being single.
September 21, 2018
Really does help in understanding and putting into perspective what being single means in your relationship with God, his purpose for you and how it really isn't a 'secondary inferior' state to be in as society tells you it is.
Want to read
March 23, 2012Halfway thru this with church fellowship group...
Read
November 15, 2013Great book, a must read for singles!!
September 26, 2014
Some of stats in the opening section are now dated, since written in 1997. Some stuff is good, the distinction between alone and loneliness was good.
July 26, 2015
My favorite book on singleness. Clear, simple and biblical.
June 30, 2016
Quite the interesting read on how Singleness is not a bad thing, just a temporary state before marriage, or that it doesn't offer any advantages in itself.
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews