Amsterdam Rampant

by Neil Cocker

SHORTLISTED FOR DUNDEE INTERNATIONAL BOOK PRIZE 2012 Fin McPhail is in deep trouble and Amsterdam isn’t helping. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. The city had promised an escape from all of his problems back in Scotland. It was the perfect fresh start – well-paid job, luxury apartment in the canal district, sobriety and celibacy. But everything changed when he went on a blind date with an unhinged sexologist, and now the city’s dark side is closing in on him. To make matters more complicated, his old life is hurtling back towards him in the shape of a stag party – four nutters from his hometown in Scotland, including his future brother-in-law and the former school bully – will arrive in the city within hours. Over the course of one chaotic weekend, Fin McPhail will come face-to-face with all of his demons. Vividly cinematic, Amsterdam Rampant draws on a potent blend of modern culture (Pulp Fiction, Breaking Bad, Mad Men, and the work of Donna Tartt and Iain Banks). A riotously entertaining novel exploring the neon shadows of Europe’s sin city, this 21st Century tale of sex, friendship, and coming to terms with the past will leave readers wanting more from Scotland’s newest literary star.

Genres: Fiction

271 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 8, 2014

About the author

Neil Cocker was born in Scotland in 1972. After graduating from Aberdeen University he ventured overseas, and has since lived and worked in Lithuania, Australia, Amsterdam, Singapore, and Luxembourg. He likes to write about emigrants and expats, displaced Scots and cultural dislocation, and how the shadow of the past darkens the present. Amsterdam Rampant was inspired by his experience of trying to live a quiet life in Amsterdam but failing spectacularly due to the regular visits of pleasure seekers, rascals, and rapscallions from the old country. His short stories have won prizes (Canongate 2001), been shortlisted for prizes (Bridport 2010), published in print (New Writing Scotland 21 & 23), and been taught on a Scottish Literature course at Oldenburg University.

Reviews

[Miss Dizzy Read · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quite a dark book but very different and page turning. Well done for self publishing, it was better than some of the trash you see on the bookshelves in shops! 😀 Oh and good taste in music 'Pixies'

[Phil Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great read from start to End..Amsterdam Rampant.

After a brilliant introduction where our hero Fin is paying a visit to a sex clinic. The hostess immediately sets about him in painful funny and surprising acts of BDSM.
This results in Fin lashing out in self-defence leaving the sex worker unconscious lying in a pool of blood.

The book then tells the story of Fin and his early life in a Scottish whiskey distillery, falling in and and out of love and in and out of vagina's.
He eventually makes the move away to Amsterdam after his relationship fails and he witnesses an horrific incident involving his Sister Ailsa at a party.
The distillery is taken over by a Dutch company and this presents Fin with the opportunity to escape to the naughty Netherlands.

He settles into Amsterdam life quickly as the marketing guru for the the Cloudburn Distillery (whose marketing is based mainly around Scottish fables of Fairies and myths).

He finds a new "local" bar and some new drinking buddies and after they set him up with a prank, he is introduced to a beautiful self appointed Sex Guru who sets about trying to cure Fins impotency problem by arranging a number of sexual encounters (like the one at the books opening) to try and raise the dead.
Add to this a drink and drug fueled stag party of old friends (and Fins new brother-in-law-to-be) arriving to be shown the delights of Amsterdam's red light district as well as the pimp of the sex worker that Fin knocks out at the outset of the story, hunting him down as he plays host to his old pals... and much hilarity and violence ensues.

Look, just read it! Its geat!..I am finding it really hard to write reviews without giving too much away! I hope i have intrigued you enough to give this a go..Neil Cocker is one of the best British (British for now, hey) contemporary authors around and this book is a great ride. Highly recomended

[Oana Marangoci · Rating 5 out of 5]

A page turning novel that captures the expat experience with an authentic voice and a complex character arc. It's also dark, naughty and with a sentimental touch.

[Robert Cowan · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is in many ways like a trip to Amsterdam. It starts with the sleazy stuff, the red light district, sex shows, space cake, all the club 18 to stag do stuff, then you realise there's a lot more to it. With the book there are several threads, skilfully run in parallel. There's the stag do which quickly turns to shit as alcohol distorts and magnifies every buried grievance, and fists fly. There's the biographical, with the main character looking back over his life with more than a little regret. Then, an encounter with a sexologist generates a series of narrated recordings as Fin spills his guts and…well anyway.
With its mix of madness, melancholy and originality, it's a difficult book to categorize, which for me is always a good sign. Another good indicator is the tea test. You sit down with a cuppa and start reading, next thing you know your tea's cold. I had a few cold one's with this book. Brilliant.

[Darren-lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty good fun...

[Tania Nexust · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a gripping read! I really enjoyed spending time with the protagonist, their voice was easy to listen to and definitely envoked recognition and empathy. I started reading this just as I was travelling back from a visit to Amsterdam and it perfectly captured the feel of the city - the canals and bridges, the different zones in the city, the people one encounters, dodging bicycles, and seeking out some calm in the Vondelpark. It was also great to read some dialogue in Scottish dialect and have the realities of life in a Scottish village with economic uncertainties evoked as well. And it will leave you wanting a wee dram of flavoursome whisky for sure!

I am away off to buy Neil's next book, off the back of reading this, as I enjoyed the twists and turns and the more reflective parts, and am keen for more in this style!

[Jonathan muir · Rating 5 out of 5]

A bit of Irvine Welsh in here but super entertaining novel which never got boring !

[Brian-Patrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great lively read. Highly recommend it for a bit of an escape. The Edinburgh dialect, on 'paper', a superbly delivered thing. I laughed heartily but it's not just wisecracks, it's a well told story set in a city I'm very very fond of. You can tell the author loved living there. ッ

[D A Devlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great tale

Funny read and if you have been to the Dam it makes it even easier to imagine the shenanigan, well wort a read!

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fast paced and fun to read. Kept making me want to read just one more chapter and the next thing I knew I’d finished it.
Nice twists and turns and kept me smiling.

[john mclauchlan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whisky, curses and sex

A cursed whisky, old memories and a drink fueled stag weekend in Amsterdam. Sad and funny, very Scottish. Loved it.

[John Barbour · Rating 4 out of 5]

Entertainment

A Adam good read was as good as any Irvine Welsh book forward to many more. From this character soon

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

So good I read it in 1 and a bit nights - it’s a short book but still … an easy read!
I come from Scotland and also live in Amsterdam so I not only recognized the areas/ streets in the book but also the inescapable urge that expats have to hunt down a Scottish bar (which sadly no longer exists in Amsterdam 😂
The description of how tourists act when they’re here for a weekend was also spot-on - I really enjoyed Fin’s juggling how to deal with drunken visitors with hiding from a psycho pimp as a result of a misguided ‘therapy’ attempt.
All in all, an easy and very enjoyable read!

[Daniel David · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really entertaining book from start to finish. Neil paints a vivid picture with his words that draws you right into the scene. Cant wait to read more of his work.

[Al · Rating 5 out of 5]

Like a good bottle of rare scotch whiskey, a hard to put down, laugh out loud romp through Amsterdam.

[Graham R Atherton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Essential rampant reading

Wow. That was a ride..
launches out of the staring blocks and maintains pace right to a perfect finish.. (that’s not one of the sex scenes btw).

Really enjoyed the book and the conclusion is strong..
thanks
Thoroughly well written characters really well drawn and treats the reader like an adult.

[Peter Carroll · Rating 4 out of 5]

I follow the author on Twitter and downloaded this for free during a promo period.

This is an original and entertaining book. The main protagonist - Findlay McPhail - is a marketing manager for a small Scottish distillery which has been acquired by a large multi national. This brings McPhail to Amsterdam to work in the HQ there. He's escaping a painful divorce and experiencing something of a crisis in his sex life. He works through these issues with an enigmatic stranger, Eva, who tries to help him confront his demons, using some unorthodox methods. Meanwhile, his sister is getting married and the prospective groom decides to hold his Stag weekend in Amsterdam. It's not ideal for McPhail since, as well as his sexual problems, he's facing an ultimatum at work and may lose his job if he can't come up with something brilliant by the end of the weekend.

The story unfolds through McPhail's eyes and voice - partly as confession and flashback, and partly in real time as the Stag weekend goes horribly wrong. It's a funny, engaging novel; quirky at times too. It's quite graphic in terms of sex and violence but it's always within the context of the story and I never found it gratuitous or salaciously pornographic. It's got depth too - the underlying messages and issues explored are universal - family, friendship, work, sex, identity and belonging.

My only minor criticism relates to the dialogue. It's written in phonetic Scots and I didn't feel it always worked. As a Scot, I didn't struggle with it, but there was quite a lot of colloquial language and black humour that may pass some non-Scots by. However, if you've mastered the art of reading phonetic Scots, then you'll thoroughly enjoy it.

Overall, I really liked this novel. It's something different, brave and inventive, and I would happily have paid the usual couple of quid asking price on Kindle.

[Mark Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amsterdam Rampant isn't the sort of book i'd normally pick up. The title and blurb lead the reader to expect the well-trodden lad-lit literary path of 'hookers, booze-filled mayhem and anecdotal- friendly but ultimately tired characters', as well worn cliched tales of sin city excess.

Neil cocker's debut couldn't be further from these type of books and is a wee gem of a novel filled with realistically complex characters he allows to shine, to fail and to show the worst and the best parts of themselves.

Amsterdam Rampant starts with a very strong opening in which the main protagonist, Findlay (MacPhailure to his pals) finds himself at the mercy of a nipple-shredding lady I the night as part of his sex therapy.

So far so 'lad-lit, right?

No.

Findlay's story is far from linear or predictable and whilst the story itself is fairly standard fare for a weekend in Amsterdam type story, Cocker's skilled use of a variety of narrative styles and his gradual reveal of his characters' motives, failures and victories, leading them to and from this weekend is incredibly well constructed and utilised.
In lesser hands a story like this one would raise a few laughs and pass a few hours; Cocker takes the potentially-stale and crafts a compelling, pacey novel of intimacy, friendship, family, and origins.

Excellent work from another skilled new member of the vibrant British Indie-author scene currently emerging strutting around Amazon.

[Logan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Like a cross between Irvine Welsh's GLUE (one of my absolute favorites) and 50 SHADES OF GREY. OK, I never read 50 SHADES, but AMSTERDAM RAMPANT is a story about a fairly tight-knit group of (male) Scottish friends letting loose in Amsterdam. That's the GLUE-ish part. Unlike GLUE, this is all told from the POV of the main character, Fin, and his tale is wrapped around his confession-like testimonials regarding his erotic experiences. And they're mostly sad erotic experiences. Who doesn't love sad erotica? It's universally relatable. Anyway, that's the sort of 50 SHADES bit. The narrative is also weaved around Fin's experience working as a marketing genius for his hometown's whiskey distillery, CLOUDBURN, offering up more clues to the character's love for and conflict with storytelling, and how he maybe struggles with what isn't and is a fiction. And all these things clash together to create some twists and turns throughout. In the end, this is a tale of friendship, family, and self-discovery, and despite the lurid and seedy depths it sometimes dives to (and those dives were half the fun of this book), it's a very warm and honestly told story. A page-turner, and thoroughly enjoyable.

[Elephantstory · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book for a second time recently on a work trip to Amsterdam. The book delivers the balance of well drawn characters and cleverly woven plot. It had me finding excuses to sit in cafes and read it when I should have been working. In fact, I enjoyed it so much that I feel slightly let down that Neil Cocker hasn't written anything else since.

The first time I read the book, what had struck me most was how perfectly the book captured the sense of place in the Scottish sections. The comparisons to Irvine Welsh are clear but I think that's more down to the subject matter. The way it depicts Scotland and family life reminded my much more of Iain Banks' Crow Road - Fin McPhail felt like someone I might have grown up with in the same way that The Crow Road's Prentice McHoan did.

Rereading it in Amsterdam itself, I could appreciate how well the book captures the sense of that place too. Amsterdam's seedier side seems to be such fertile ground for stories. It is crying out for European Bukowski or a Runyon to do it justice - maybe Amsterdam Rampant is Neil Cocker' first step in those big shoes.

[Philip · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just upgraded my rating, because the story is still on my mind several weeks later and few books achieve that. Original review below, but please don't be put off by dialogue comment. The main characters are Scottish or Dutch so the dialogue needs to be authentic and it appears to be so - I'm half Dutch and have lived in Scotland.

If you can get past some the Scottish dialect in the dialogue then this is an intriguing view of Amsterdam and one man's discovery of himself. Has some nicely comedic moments mixed in with some thriller like tension but didn't seem to know quite where to go. The descriptions of the seedy side of Amsterdam are well made; however, at times it seems they are the only descriptions.

The multiple plot lines are well described however, the lead protagonist is not the most likeable or sympathetic character so in the end it feels less than the sum of its parts.

Although it describes the seedy side this is in no way a sexy or pornographic book. It's almost too factual in its descriptions and the romance is historic and just a little bit too forced.

[Rick Brindle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fin McPhail is in Amsterdam and on the brink of losing his job. To make things worse, he has to play host to his soon to be brother in law's stag week end. To make it even worse, he's on some kind of sexual rediscovery channel that has gone all wrong and left him in a killer-pimp's crosshairs.
The narrative flicks between the chaotic lads week-end, Fin's desperate attempts to keep his job, avoid the pimp, and it all gets glued together with his memories of life in Cloudburn, Scotland, and how he steered the local whiskey distillery to rebirth and burnout.
All in all, it's an entertaining, visceral read, with the anti-hero as the hero, who you start off not liking very much, but you know what, he kind of grows on you. It's a very funny read in a Pulp Fiction kind of way, and while slightly over-written in parts, very, very entertaining.

[Carla Afilhado · Rating 5 out of 5]

From the blue hills of Scotland to populated Amesterdam Fin is an expat mostly from himself. A journey close to Transpotting and Pulp Fiction where the character takes you through his story in an intelligent dialogue between a thrilling weekend and his therapy. It took me back to growing up in the 90's. Amsterdam is the perfect setting and also a perfect metaphor for all the complicated tattoos one could get, regret and accept in life.

[FrancescoA · Rating 4 out of 5]

Scotland meets Amsterdam, what could possibly go wrong…

Nice story, I liked the contrasts between quiet life in Scotland and the sexual turbulence in Amsterdam. Also, as whisky lover, I definitely enjoyed reading about the main character’s job.

I would have expected a bit more madness in the stag do, and sometimes I struggle understanding the dialogues in Scottish, but those are minor thing.

Overall a nice and easy book

[Alexander Blair · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent read put me in mind of Irvine Welsh .Good story line interesting characters well done read this through pure accident glad i did.Liked the cloudburn mystery

Excellent read author similar to Irvine Welsh.Interesting characters liked the whole Scotland Amsterdam connection and the Cloudburn history a lot of thought put in well done

[Alan O'Rourke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great discovery

Picked this up from Kindle unlimited looking for new authors and so very happy I found Neil Cocker.
The story kept me hooked from start to finish with loads of twists.
I loved the flipping back and forward in history.
Loved the climax and ending.
A great read and I will now hunt down Neil's other books

[Graeme Muir · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Corcker of a read

I couldn't put this book down. Thoroughly enjoyable and believable story from start to finish. The chapters were cleverly sequenced switching between the main characters career his past sexual experiences and the events of the stag party.
A brilliant read and definitely will look out for other work written by Neil Cocker.

[Kofi Acheampong · Rating 4 out of 5]

Melancholic vibrant writing

As a Glaswegian who moved away from home over 20 years ago this book really resonates with me. The depictions of the friends from back home were vivid recollections of my own childhood and very well done. An excellent tale full of hunour, melancholy and life lessons.

[Martin Stanley · Rating 4 out of 5]

A high quality piece of work. Considerably deeper than I initially anticipated it would be, and very well written. If it all gets wrapped up a little too neatly at the end, that's a minor caveat. Highly recommended.

[Emily Thompson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really good book highly recommended buy it you wont be sorry. Love to t

Read some moreby this author and lookforward to more books by him hopefully very soon. We readers should support self publishers