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Get the Behavior You Want... Without Being the Parent You Hate!: Dr. G's Guide to Effective Parenting
Get the Behavior You Want... Without Being the Parent You Hate! is a roadmap of quick, concrete strategies to help parents use everyday opportunities to create respectful, responsible, and resilient children between the ages of 18 months and 12 yearsÛwithout screaming or nagging. With Get the Behavior You Want... Without Being the Parent You Hate! youÌll know how to eliminate the behaviors you donÌt want while fostering the behaviors you do want like pitching in around the house, pleasant table manners, managing money, finishing multiple-step assignments, taking risks, asking for help, and coping with bad news. With todayÌs busy parents in mind, each concise chapter provides easy-to-implement action steps and examples of how to teach respect, responsibility, and resilience plus ways to immediately address tantrums and unacceptable behavior while avoiding future conflicts down the road. Dr. G provides easy ways to modify the advice for children at different developmental stages, ranging from toddlers through kids ready to finish middle school. A hands-on, grab-me-for-a-few-minutes resource, Get the Behavior You Want...Without Being the Parent You Hate! will help parents who are struggling to get to bedtime without tears parents who want to shop at Target without hearing constant whining and pleading and parents who want someone to normalize their experience and say, "Yes, this happens. Here's what you can do." Upbeat, lively, and humorous, this book answers parentsÌ most frequent questions and eliminates the guilt and guesswork out of raising a great kid. "
- GenresParentingNonfiction
272 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2014
36 people are currently reading
175 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
July 31, 2014
I was given this book in exchange for an honest review.
This is an amazing book! Being a mom of 5 boys and astronomy to three boys and one girl I think every chapter was for me. I loved all the different situations the author touches on. Really made me step back and look at new ways to go about some situations.
This is an amazing book! Being a mom of 5 boys and astronomy to three boys and one girl I think every chapter was for me. I loved all the different situations the author touches on. Really made me step back and look at new ways to go about some situations.
September 8, 2014
Doctor G has both the mom cred and medical degree. Get the Behavior you Want is filled with actionable tips and common sense advice. The book is divided into sections and is meant as a resource guide to be used for toddlers to tweens. Doctor G advocates and gives age specific advice to teach kids respect, responsibility and resilience so they grow into adults we want to be around. I enjoyed the delivery of the material in easy to read chapters so I could revisit in the future. I look forward to trying out a few tips to get the behavior I want without nagging, yelling, or crying!
August 2, 2017
Relatable, readable, useful. Loved this - I will definitely reread. Some gems in here include "how you feel is important, but how you act is more important than how you feel" - a great message for everyone to remember that your feelings maybe valid but you are still responsible for your behavior. in my line of work, I see myself recommending to families for sure.
September 11, 2014
If you are tired of screaming and nagging, begging and pleading, and tantrums (both by the kids and occasionally by you!), then you have to check out Get the Behavior You Want…Without Being the Parent You Hate.
I think what I like most about this book is actually two things: it’s geared towards kids 18 months to 12 years of age (my kids are smack in the middle of the age range) and also that the chapters are broken up so that you don’t have to read from beginning to end; you can jump around and read about the topics effecting your family now.
Issues with playdates? Check out Chapter 37. Everywhere your child goes for a playdate probably has rules different from the ones at your house. Dr. G says “…the rules in your home are not negotiable, even with guests.” And it’s good to teach your child that rule when they are elsewhere as well.
My 5 year old daughter loves to get dressed up, but hates to dress herself. She still wants me to do it for her. So I promptly flipped to Chapter 20: Teach Kids To Get Themselves Dressed.
There are even chapters about YOU…the parent. Chapter 16 is all about Your Bedroom as Your Sanctuary. It is okay to have off-limit areas for the kids. I’d love to make my bedroom off-limits unless invited, and we just started working on this one.
And because the topics are broken down based on your child’s age (ex: Toddler, Preschooler), this book will grow with you as your children grow.
Dr. G is funny, upfront, doesn’t beat around the bush, and offers advice and tips that you can start using today. Get the Behavior You Want…Without Being the Parent You Hate is a parenting book everybody should have on their shelves; it’s more like a parenting how-to manual!
I think what I like most about this book is actually two things: it’s geared towards kids 18 months to 12 years of age (my kids are smack in the middle of the age range) and also that the chapters are broken up so that you don’t have to read from beginning to end; you can jump around and read about the topics effecting your family now.
Issues with playdates? Check out Chapter 37. Everywhere your child goes for a playdate probably has rules different from the ones at your house. Dr. G says “…the rules in your home are not negotiable, even with guests.” And it’s good to teach your child that rule when they are elsewhere as well.
My 5 year old daughter loves to get dressed up, but hates to dress herself. She still wants me to do it for her. So I promptly flipped to Chapter 20: Teach Kids To Get Themselves Dressed.
There are even chapters about YOU…the parent. Chapter 16 is all about Your Bedroom as Your Sanctuary. It is okay to have off-limit areas for the kids. I’d love to make my bedroom off-limits unless invited, and we just started working on this one.
And because the topics are broken down based on your child’s age (ex: Toddler, Preschooler), this book will grow with you as your children grow.
Dr. G is funny, upfront, doesn’t beat around the bush, and offers advice and tips that you can start using today. Get the Behavior You Want…Without Being the Parent You Hate is a parenting book everybody should have on their shelves; it’s more like a parenting how-to manual!
October 19, 2019
Her Keynote in book form
I went and saw Dr. G at a recent keynote when she came to my school district. To promote her visit, she joined me on the school's podcast, and also as a recent father, I purchased this book to prep for the conversation.
I'm glad I did.
Dr. G is honest, doesn't hold back, and doesn't give "safe" advice - only the tough truth about raising children that a lot of new parents don't want to admit. After her keynote, I finished this book, and I realized her presentation was an half and a half version of this book... But I still loved it.
If you have a newborn, a middle schooler, or anyone in between, purchase this book now. You won't regret it.
I went and saw Dr. G at a recent keynote when she came to my school district. To promote her visit, she joined me on the school's podcast, and also as a recent father, I purchased this book to prep for the conversation.
I'm glad I did.
Dr. G is honest, doesn't hold back, and doesn't give "safe" advice - only the tough truth about raising children that a lot of new parents don't want to admit. After her keynote, I finished this book, and I realized her presentation was an half and a half version of this book... But I still loved it.
If you have a newborn, a middle schooler, or anyone in between, purchase this book now. You won't regret it.
August 15, 2014
This book is nicely structured for reading on the go and finding just the information you need immediately. I did read it cover to cover although skipped parts that were not yet relevant like dealing with tweens and teens. It is always comforting to read a parenting book and recognize that you are doing some thing right, and then conversely guilty when you are doing the opposite of what they recommend. I do plan on trying out one thing I learned, which is dealing with the preschooler who doesn't want to eat dinner but snack later.
Want to read
March 13, 2014Just went to a lecture where Doctor Gilboa was the guest speaker. It focused on raising resilient military kids!
February 9, 2019
If you have no common sense, this would be a great read. Otherwise, it offers very little. There isn’t much actual advice, it’s just explaining behavior. There are much better parenting books out there imo.
January 8, 2018
I absolutely loved this book.
September 26, 2014
“Find Resilience Opportunities” was one of the first chapters I read in Get the Behavior You Want… Without Being the Parent You Hate! by Deborah Gilboa, MD. I know it’s one I’ll read again and again as I force myself to put aside my desperate desire to soothe their hurt feelings in order to teach them to solve their problems themselves. After reading Dr. Gilboa’s chapter on the importance of resilience — and how we can help our kids develop it — I know that I can be a sounding board and a comforting hug without swooping in to solve their emotional hurts.
Get the Behavior You Want… Without Being the Parent You Hate! is a parenting book by one of the most practical and loving doctors — and mothers — I know. You may have seen her online or on television as Ask Doc G, and her advice always makes me feel better. Her book is an extension of her media presence — check out her YouTube series of advice — and it’s the type of parenting book you’ll reference for years.
One of the greatest elements of the book is the straightforward, no-nonsense way she delivers her message. She offers reasons for her advice, and all of it centers around parenting in a way that will raise healthy, independent adults, which is something I think can be lost in the grind of daily parenting. Many of her chapters offer concrete examples and advice broken down by age group. It gives tired parents a quick frame of reference and is a great reminder that we can be mindful of parenting the children we have today, in order to build a foundation for the children we’ll be parenting in the future.
Read my complete review at Playing with Words
Get the Behavior You Want… Without Being the Parent You Hate! is a parenting book by one of the most practical and loving doctors — and mothers — I know. You may have seen her online or on television as Ask Doc G, and her advice always makes me feel better. Her book is an extension of her media presence — check out her YouTube series of advice — and it’s the type of parenting book you’ll reference for years.
One of the greatest elements of the book is the straightforward, no-nonsense way she delivers her message. She offers reasons for her advice, and all of it centers around parenting in a way that will raise healthy, independent adults, which is something I think can be lost in the grind of daily parenting. Many of her chapters offer concrete examples and advice broken down by age group. It gives tired parents a quick frame of reference and is a great reminder that we can be mindful of parenting the children we have today, in order to build a foundation for the children we’ll be parenting in the future.
Read my complete review at Playing with Words
November 12, 2014
For those of you who think it is easy to write a parenting book ...think again. It is a real art to be able to strike just the right tone to reach tired and overwhelmed parents. Deborah Gilboa does this well with her direct and concise writing while her caring, concern and experience shines through.
Smart kids will try many things to get the attention, affection and love that they need to thrive in this world, so it is sad to see a loving family spiral out of control when a toddler, child or pre-teen is going through a rough patch. Dr. G highlights some common developmental battles and behavior problems and doles out many creative methods to prevent a real trainwreck for families. Her ideas empower parents to be the leaders in a stlye that emparts respect with equal doses emotional control and thoughtful preparation.
While many parenting books are written by physicians or mental health professionals, most cannot avoid the common pitfall of using large words and complicated sentences to relay straightforward messages. This works poorly with many exhausted parents and is counterproductive for kids. Dr. G keeps her suggests short and simple; perfect for this age group.
I also find this book to be nicely balanced. Equal attention is given to action and feelings, caregiving to discipline, competition versus cooperation, while all the time respecting the special qualities of each child. It also sets a wonderful foundation for the next phase; the ever-colorful teenage years.
It is also refreshing to see a careprovider emphasizing strenths and solutions, rather than problems and deficiencies.
I highly recommend this sweet book and feel it can be a first step in heading off many typical parenting challenges.
Smart kids will try many things to get the attention, affection and love that they need to thrive in this world, so it is sad to see a loving family spiral out of control when a toddler, child or pre-teen is going through a rough patch. Dr. G highlights some common developmental battles and behavior problems and doles out many creative methods to prevent a real trainwreck for families. Her ideas empower parents to be the leaders in a stlye that emparts respect with equal doses emotional control and thoughtful preparation.
While many parenting books are written by physicians or mental health professionals, most cannot avoid the common pitfall of using large words and complicated sentences to relay straightforward messages. This works poorly with many exhausted parents and is counterproductive for kids. Dr. G keeps her suggests short and simple; perfect for this age group.
I also find this book to be nicely balanced. Equal attention is given to action and feelings, caregiving to discipline, competition versus cooperation, while all the time respecting the special qualities of each child. It also sets a wonderful foundation for the next phase; the ever-colorful teenage years.
It is also refreshing to see a careprovider emphasizing strenths and solutions, rather than problems and deficiencies.
I highly recommend this sweet book and feel it can be a first step in heading off many typical parenting challenges.
September 17, 2014
My kids are already teenagers, but I definitely wanted to read this book - and I'm so glad I did. Dr. G is supportive, her advice makes sense and there is no judging. My favourite part? Common sense! A lot of the tips for 11-12 year-olds can be applied to teenagers as well (I definitely have used a lot of her suggestions and will continue to do so) and her advice really does make sense. A rare gem in a sea of parenting books, that want you to adhere to a certain style of parenting, when all we really need is support and common sense.
Dr. G. talks about self-respect, chores, happiness, boredom, taking risks and all the questions a parent could have in between. Spoiler alert: there is a chapter about teaching kids that how we behave is more important than how we feel - and I could not agree more. Every time I hear "my tummy hurts" before school in the morning, my response is: "your attitude and what you do about it is half the battle - focus on the positive, suck it up and go to school." It is very encouraging to read real-life advice like in Dr. G's book and I highly recommend this book!
Dr. G. talks about self-respect, chores, happiness, boredom, taking risks and all the questions a parent could have in between. Spoiler alert: there is a chapter about teaching kids that how we behave is more important than how we feel - and I could not agree more. Every time I hear "my tummy hurts" before school in the morning, my response is: "your attitude and what you do about it is half the battle - focus on the positive, suck it up and go to school." It is very encouraging to read real-life advice like in Dr. G's book and I highly recommend this book!
September 16, 2014
I have never been one to read a "how to" or parenting book. Mostly I just fumble around and try to figure things out. A couple of years ago I found Dr. Gilboa on the web. Her posts answering parenting questions and her YouTube videos really resounded with me. I started watching her videos that covered subjects I was having trouble with regarding my own children (e.g., her bickering video changed my life). I love that she covered topics that were important to me in a succinct and manageable fashion. EVERYTHING I loved about her videos has been brought to the book.
Broken down in three easy section, the chapters in each are short and sweet with actionable items for different age levels. Her advice is practical and can be put into use right away. You can read through the whole book, or just look up the topics that interest you.
I also love that the book is not "preachy". She does not admit to being the perfect parent for YOUR kids, but she reassures you that YOU are. This is a must have book for every parent.
Broken down in three easy section, the chapters in each are short and sweet with actionable items for different age levels. Her advice is practical and can be put into use right away. You can read through the whole book, or just look up the topics that interest you.
I also love that the book is not "preachy". She does not admit to being the perfect parent for YOUR kids, but she reassures you that YOU are. This is a must have book for every parent.
November 7, 2014
Dr. Deborah Gilboa's book is a must read for parents with children of any age, even teens. Her sound counsel is straightforward and practical. I love how, within each chapter, she gives strategies by age: preschoolers, ages 5-7, ages 8-10 and ages 11-12. It just makes so much sense. This easy-to-read book, gives parents the opportunity to focus on areas that currently need focus. For example, with the start of the school year, the "Forms: Don't Fill 'Em Out!" chapter came in handy so that my son filled out many of his school forms this year. Thank you Dr. G for your encouragement and fabulous approach to parenting.
September 10, 2014
Finally, a parenting book that hands out practical, easy-to-understand advice, that actually work. I love that Dr. Gilboa has divided the book into sections by the types of values you want to see in your children, and further into the different age groups. This way, parents with kids at different ages can refer to the section that applies most to them. It's a book that I can see myself reaching out for, time and time again, as my children grow older. Dr. Gilboa's friendly and down-to-earth tone is also great, I can almost picture her sitting across from me, offering her suggestions as a friend. I highly recommend this!
November 17, 2018
I am slowly making my way through this and have skipped around to different parts that are relevant to me. I really appreciate the author's style and practical advice, which is really meant to be absorbed and adapted to your family's structure and abilities. My favorite part is how she insists on your expertise on your own child. I had the opportunity to hear Dr. Gilboa speak, and I haven't really encountered other parenting advice like this. I am appreciative of her work so far.
I’ve finished most of this. The is probably one of the only parenting books I will ever recommend.
I’ve finished most of this. The is probably one of the only parenting books I will ever recommend.
September 12, 2014
Pragmatic, clear and EASY parenting tips that actually work.
My kids are at the teen side of the continuum, but I still find Dr. G's advice applicable and useful in many scenarios.
This is also the type of book I will refer to anyone new to having a baby....it should remain on their nightstand and become increasingly more dog eared.
My kids are at the teen side of the continuum, but I still find Dr. G's advice applicable and useful in many scenarios.
This is also the type of book I will refer to anyone new to having a baby....it should remain on their nightstand and become increasingly more dog eared.
February 14, 2015
This book is good but making me feel extremely terrible about my parenting skills... Shocking, I know, but I am not a perfect parent and this book seems to reiterate that fact with every idea. Had some good ideas, not so good on explaining the best way to implement. So it told me all the things I need to do better, most of which I am just to lazy to do.
May 14, 2015
I really enjoyed this book, I have two small children and it's given me some ideas to address potential issues. I've already started implementing some of this with my 3 year old and seen some results and it's really good to find out some of the stuff I've already done has started them on the right track. I would recommend this book to any mom with kids!
November 24, 2014
This book is a wonderful guide to parenting children from pre-school into the teenage years. Gilboa gives practical tips and ideas on how to raise children that are respectful, responsible and resilient (without losing your mind).
February 15, 2015
Lots of good tips for dealing with different age children and where they are developmentally. I really appreciate this book addressing how the parent has to change her own behavior to get results from the child.
May 18, 2015
wonderful!
I have attended several of Dr. G's seminars and now to have a book with the same sense of humor and guidance is wonderful. I have followed her advice for several years and I have people say how patient I am with the children. Thank you Dr. G!
I have attended several of Dr. G's seminars and now to have a book with the same sense of humor and guidance is wonderful. I have followed her advice for several years and I have people say how patient I am with the children. Thank you Dr. G!
April 20, 2015
great reference book for all parents. Sensible advice in an easy to read format.
January 20, 2015
Found it hard to get into. The information wasn't helpful for young children (mine are under 3). But i am sure it will be a good book to read when they are older.
August 25, 2015
Does not at all cover adolescence, thus no help to me now.
November 12, 2016
Not for us
There was some good advice and gave me a few things to think about but I didn't find it particularly useful.
There was some good advice and gave me a few things to think about but I didn't find it particularly useful.
Read
April 19, 2019This is one of the few parenting books I've read that I've actually finished. The advice is practical, and presented in short chapters in a friendly, non-shaming tone. Great book!
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews