Jackson Jacoby is a motherless twenty-two year old boy with only the support of his crazy ex-military Uncle Marve and a kindred motherless peer named Creg. Creg holds fast to the hope of one day reuniting with his mother while Jackson maintains that his own life is so much better off without all the baggage that comes along with being somebody’s son. After finding a plea in a newspaper from a woman begging her runaway son, Kevin Masons, to return home, Jackson takes the opportunity to prove to Creg that a mother is not necessary to be happy. What begins as a drunken call to the mysterious mother leads to a cross-country pilgrimage to attend the will reading of Kevin’s recently deceased grandfather. Along the way, Jackson spreads tales of his participation in the human appendage trade, the history of his missing ear, and anything else that might validate his life the way he insists that a mother never could.
Did you know that if you're ever lost in a maze, you can always find your way out—eventually—if you just cling to one wall and trace it all the way to its exit? Jackson Jacoby is sticking to his story, too. It's a morphing, evolving tale to suit his immediate identity needs in the company of his traveling companions, these strangers-du-jour kindred spirits collected on the road to meet the mother he's spent his life convincing himself he doesn't need. Wait, not his real mother; this is just some lady who placed an ad searching for her estranged son, both of them happy to surrogate the other in their long-distance delusions.
Jackson is the ultimate unreliable narrator in a story about the very nature of storytelling itself. Why do we spin such tales? For the entertainment of others? Social anesthesia? To define ourselves? Reinvent ourselves? The book is also sprinkled with subtle, metafictional easter eggs that reference other classic novels' character backstories—people Jackson claims to have met in his adventures, shortening the rope of his believability. Along our pilgrimage east, we stop in such roadside attractions/hazards as body-part museums, snow mazes, and diners aplenty—in search of "futile game"—each populated with someone and their story. Everybody's got one. And probably an alternate: a director's cut that's been refined and embellished over the years like some one-man game of Telephone. A recurring theme of ears permeates the book: torching them, explaining them, stealing them, bending them. Jackson's (self-)destructive behavior and assholica take some warming up to, and he never makes it easy for anyone (including the reader), but eventually you'll find some sympathy in that blackened heart of yours for this motherless man-child.
I first read a draft of Kevin about four years ago, when it was a semi-finalist in Amazon's Breakthrough Novel competition. My then-review praised Ross's "limping lot lizards and Latina-logging launderers and moneyed mourning matriarchs," calling the manuscript "a tight, unwashed romp with an experienced professional of flexible morals who pushes all the right buttons to make you squirm and thank them for it in the end." All that still holds true. Now, did I tell you how I got this ear?
A bit of an aside to start: here's an indie publisher doing right by the reader. The purpose of an indie publisher should be to publish smart books that push buttons and boundaries that would otherwise be ignored by the 50-shades-of-grey and Tom-Clancy-wannabe mainstream.
Anyway, the book itself is wild ride through struggling middle-america complete with missing body parts and some dudes looking for their moms. The plot gets ragged at times, but who cares. You read this for the truly memorable cast of characters and Caleb's smart, funny, and imaginative spin on a Palahniukian conceit.
Here's hoping some of that mainstream audience can pull their heads out of their asses long enough to read Ross, and then be gloriously horrified.
"I don't care if anybody finds this crap. Sometimes you just got to know something is out there. Even if you don't take it, you've got to have something to wonder about."
This is an odd story - about a boy who has grown up on the streets after leaving home and is now a man. but he doesn't know how to be an adult. He's adrift in his life, buying beers had can't afford for girls he doesn't really like telling wild stories.
But after finding a note in a paper about a mother desperately looking for her son, he decides to go on a road trip to meet this mother. There are real gems in the story, lines that make you think and wonder. But there is also a lot of odd stories and people and...it's all just odd. But I'm pretty sure I enjoyed it
It's hard to tell what a Caleb Ross book is going to be about just by reading the back cover blurb. In fact, I feel that the blurbs of praise on the book are more indicative of what the experience will be like. Rayo Casablanca calls it "an amazing fiction concept." Publishers Weekly called it "stirring." You could try and explain to someone how this is about a guy driven to embark on a road trip to Deleware to prove that having a mother is overrated, but I think "stirring" and "amazing fiction concept" are more accurate to describe what the experience is like. Sometimes it works really well, other times it lacks just a little something, but I'm always glad that I spent time indulging in another Ross' unique visions.
The thing that I think you should be aware of upfront: Jackson Jacoby, the main character, is hard to like. You learn early on that he is an unreliable narrator, and overall, not a very likable person. But like all compulsive liars, the truth slips out in bits and pieces throughout the story, and as we learn more about him, the more we come to understand the way he is. It's one of the most commendable aspects of Ross' fiction that he can make a compelling unlikable narrator. Whereas most fiction focuses on strong, decisive characters that follow a formula of revealing themselves through acts of will, Ross' characters are lost, unsure of themselves, and a bit pathetic. But the interesting thing is, when you immerse yourself in the mind of such a person, you begin to see some of the little ugly pieces of yourself and the people you know. To some degree, these characters are like defective machines (which current neurology research seems to support, that we are more like machines than the models of free will that we think we are). Kudos to Ross for writing about characters who are broken and disfigured, who aren't Type A hero cliches, and who are unapologetic for who they are. This darkness in his work may take a bit of getting used to, but once you're there, you can't help but enjoy delving into this haunted area of human behavior.
I never felt like Jackson's "motherlessness" was at the center of his actions. Rather, it seemed to be indicative of a larger problem: because of his "motherlessness" (and "fatherlessness" for that matter), he has no roots. He's never had a guiding hand leading him one way or the other. His next closest relative was practically insane, so it's no wonder he turned out to be so strange. He seems to embark on his trip less as a real desire to do anything and more to open himself up to anything that could happen along the way. There is an undercurrent of his desire to meet a woman he is pretending is his mother, to try and feel the experience of having a mother, but his real issue seems to be his lack of any solid foundation.
All along the way, Jackson tells stories about a man named Marion Garza. The stories morph overtime, and as they change, we begin to see more of what might be the real Jackson.
Jackson also has a fascination with dismembered body parts. Perhaps it's because of his missing ear. Maybe it was a metaphor for something that was missing in himself. It was interesting to see where this took him in the story, but I never felt that it tied in real cleanly with the rest of the story. Maybe that was the point. This was one area where Jackson's unreliability obscured what exactly happened. By the end, I wasn't sure what really happened with the various dismembered body parts that appear through the story, but I also felt like the truth wasn't that important to the story. But as much as missing ears and feet play a part in the story, it seems like it should matter more. But sometimes our quirks don't always have much to do with other aspects of ourselves, even if they feel like they should in the art of storytelling.
The real fun of I Didn't Mean To Be Kevin is riding the course of this unreliable narrator and figuring out your version of the truth for yourself. Caleb Ross is never going to hand you a moral on a silver platter. So if you're in the mood to read something different, something that will entrance you and bring you inside the world of a troubled mind, I heartily recommend I Didn't Mean To Be Kevin.
To say that this impressed me is an immense understatement. 'I Didn't Mean to Be Kevin' is the first thing I've read from Caleb J. Ross, but I'm confident it won't be the last. (That didn't sound as trite in my head.)
Ostensibly, this is a road trip novel about Middle America. Caleb invites us along for the ride -- or, more aptly, the freak show. It isn't long before we're introduced to an engaging gaggle of weirdos (Robert the bodybuilder was my favourite) and tensing up as protagonist, Jackson Jacoby, narrowly avoids certain death for the umpteenth time.
It's difficult to review this book because it's so many things at once. At times it was messy, and at times it required a bit of work to follow, but it never frustrated me; this book was never less than entertaining. Like its wonderfully conflicted, REPULSIVE characters, this book wears its flaws -- namely the aformentioned messiness -- on its sleeve; if you indulge it for even a little while, you'll find that it's all part of its charm.
'I Didn't Mean to Be Kevin' was thrilling and utterly unpredictable. Jackson's desperation leads him down a lot of messed up roads, but you'll follow despite being uncertain about whether you can even trust him. The character I most identified with was Creg; I've been similarly led astray by friends with big personalities and questionable morals. Never a dull moment when you're in league with someone like Jackson.
There's a lot more substance to this book than my review lets on, but I feel I'd being doing a disservice if I revealed any more. I'll just say that Jackson's an unreliable narrator with mother issues and nothing to lose. Combine this premise with Ross's sweeping, confident prose and you get some revelatory passages so cutting they'll momentarily snatch your breath away.
I've heard that this novel has been compared favourably with the work of Chuck Palahniuk. I couldn't fairly comment on this as I've only read 'Invisible Monsters'. I have seen film versions of 'Fight Club' and 'Choke', though, and can thus deduce that Palahniuk is not my cup of tea. To me, his work is clumsy and heavy-handed -- the kind of overwrought rubbish that teenage boys adore because they mistake it for poignancy. 'Invisible Monsters' is rife with shallow proclomations; to me, 'Kevin' is NOTHING like this. It is gripping and full of substance.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE KEVIN by Caleb J. Ross is a unique kind of road trip story. Well maybe not entirely unique. It borrows it's feel from Chaucer's CANTERBURY TALES in the way Lucas' STAR WARS pays homage to THE HERO'S JOURNEY. There are no original ideas just great twists of classic stories. That's not to put Ross down, he is one of the most unique voices on the scene today in this reviewer's humble opinion.
Like every great (and not so great) road trip story, I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE KEVIN is about a person who is trying to figure out who they really are. Caleb Ross adds many twists and turns to that simple idea. Along the way the protagonist meets an array of people who each have a story of their own to tell. The story plays heavily with the idea of the lies that people tell. It examines what's real and what's fake. It's a philosophical journey into truth and/or the perception of truth.
Caleb Ross has a way to write into the darkest parts of your soul. This story is no exception because it's real in the ways we all have a hard time admitting is real. Ross instinctively knows how to present those dark thoughts and ideas we all have but are afraid to admit (thought we all know we all share those ideas). While not as grotesque or disturbing as his other books, I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE KEVIN is still engaging and thought provoking. It is in short not to be missed.
Though I may recommend some of his other work ahead of this, this is still a solid story. It represents something a little different then where he has gone before. Is it a maturing of his style, exploration of new ideas or simply the subject matter of the story that makes this story less disturbing then his other work? I'm not sure. It is still very well written and worth the read of every measured word.
Review of I Didn’t Mean to be Kevin by Caleb J. Ross
Read for Shut Up & Read’s Pick4Me Challenge September 2012
I had picked up this book during a free period at Amazon.com, and it was selected for me as the Goodreads Group Shut Up & Read’s September Pick4Me challenge. I found it difficult and disturbing-for me, depressing, as much so as reading “Winter of Our Discontent” as a child or “Room” in March 2012. Now both those novels are well-liked and recommended by other readers, so perhaps it is just my perception.
I was tempted to feel sympathy for the characters, almost every one of whom has suffered greatly from familial dysfunction; those who haven’t set themselves up as tinpot gurus to explain how the sufferers should live from here on out. Jackson Jacoby, a twenty-two-year-old who claims to have been put out by his mother at age ten (and to have suffered a damaged ear in a construction accident earlier than that), expresses his life myth through constant and repetitive relation of a tale about a couple who travel the country selling body parts to museums of the bizarre and oddities. He carries an item in a watch box which he claims is the ear of one of them. His buddy Creg (I hesitate to call them friends) watches Laundromat Spanish-language television hoping to find his long-missing mother. Eventually, inspired by a set of truly ridiculous and upsetting circumstances, Jackson finds himself impelled to cross the country, conning the mother of a missing boy via phone. What he really wants, of course, is “a mother,” but what he finds is both more and less than what he expected.
I rated it 4 Stars for the writing and for the complex storyline, and the truly horrendously dysfunctional characters. Try as I might, I won’t find this one too forgettable.
In the genre, Palahniuk just fell off the pegboard (i.e. more than just down a few pegs). Ross can do this without dissociative identity disorder or magic spells, etc., and still deliver that intrinsic sense of surreal (read: all too real) displacement.
This is the best piece of fiction I've read by Caleb Ross, and the best literary fiction I've read in years. I believe his other works (continuing the comparison) are at least on a pretty level playing field with Palahniuk, but this one leaves Chuck choking miserably in the dust of a stolen van, wondering what the hell happened to three of the fingers from his left hand, with the name Jackson stuck in the recesses of his mind.
Caleb J. Ross explores the nihilistic underbelly culture of the American Midwest in his latest novel I Didn't Mean to be Kevin. It is a reverse coming-of-age story in which Jackson Jacoby and the friends he makes each attempt to uncover a childhood they never had. It is unclear if the book is a tribute to the underclass of America or rather an account of an adrenaline addict. I Didn't Mean To Be Kevin is literature that falls in line with the dirty, drug and sex-ridden films of Gus Van Sant and Harmony Korine who romanticize the grime and desolation of America's working-class.
picked this title up at the mention of a friend, and truth be told, didn't have very high expectations. because usually when people set me up like this, they are saying "she's got a great personality." but it soon became clear (page one?) that i was dealing with a very rare and very original talent in caleb ross. his characters are real, his descriptions vivid, his questions insightful, and most important, his storytelling is masterful, hilarious, and poignant. this is one blind date i'll never forget. hugely impressed by this effort.
The book far exceeded my expectations. I only say that because Caleb Ross is a relatively new author with only a few titles to his name. I had the assumption that this book would be average at best. Let me tell you how wrong I was to assume that. This book was excellent. I found myself fully engrossed in the story. Caleb Ross packs a lot into these 200 pages.
Overall, I was completely impressed with this book. Caleb Ross has a lot of talent for writing. I can't wait to read more of his work. 5 stars for "I Didn't Mean To Be Kevin."
"I Didn't Mean to Be Kevin" is a disturbing, mind provoking read. I almost didn't get beyond the beginning as it was too graphic for my taste. The story is about a man who is searching. For himself? His Mother? Or the meaning behind his existence?
Caleb J Ross writes with such brutality and graphic detail that I am not sure whether I feel disgusted, disturbed or both.
I will admit to not being a big fan of this genre, but the writer is very talented.
Caleb Ross has one bad-ass imagination. His humor isn't too shabby, either. But, if you are looking for hope and inspiration, I'd recommend that you wait to read this story until after you've found it, not before. I want to give the book 5 stars, it clearly deserves the rating, but I am just too depressed to be that positive. Dark, really dark.
My crush with Mr. Ross seems silly (to my partner, at least), but his description of motherless, broken men joining forces in the dirtiest, sleaziest and weirdest diners and truck stops just had a tight grip on me. Having read this in the beaches of Barcelona and the at breaks of a Finnish rowing contest, I have found myself looking for Kevins in my surroundings. There's always a few, I guess.
I guess I didn't really get this book. I kept reading as I thought it would all click and make sense but it never happened. To me it was a series of sad stories of hopeless guys with serious and strange mother issues.
In the book's defense i have to say the guys were interesting if disturbing. I also read this book disjointedly, so probably would have gotten it better if I read it in larger chunks. At least it kept me interested enough to keep going.