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What It Meant to Survive
Featuring strong queer female protagonists who must navigate class, race, religion, language, and nationality, Mala Kumar’s What It Meant to Survive is a poignant and heartbreaking commentary on life in modern-day America and Nigeria.
Ramya and Juliet begin to uplift each other and heal the moment they match on Tinder. For nearly a decade, Ramya, an American of Indian origin from Virginia, has grappled with her survivor’s guilt from a devastating mass shooting that occurred during her last year of university. Halfway around the world in Nigeria, Juliet has survived family tragedies, economic downturns, and an oppressive patriarchy. With a one-chance swipe on their phones in a country foreign to them both, the two women begin a remarkable romantic relationship that most fairy tales wouldn’t dare to depict.
But can they hold onto each other?
As their lives intertwine, Ramya suffers acute memory loss so pronounced that she sometimes forgets where she is, who she’s with, and even who she is. Periodically, Juliet experiences time freezes that throw her out of sync with everyone around her. Ultimately, the two women choose to begin a new life together in New York City, where their love will be acknowledged and respected. But for Juliet to make it through the American immigration process, the two women must get to the root causes of these memory loss and time-lapse episodes by coming to terms with their pasts.
Written by a singularly talented, wildly imaginative novelist, What It Meant to Survive is a powerful and bracing work of fiction inspired by the Virginia Tech Massacre, and the author's real-life experience navigating its long-term social and emotional impacts.
Ramya and Juliet begin to uplift each other and heal the moment they match on Tinder. For nearly a decade, Ramya, an American of Indian origin from Virginia, has grappled with her survivor’s guilt from a devastating mass shooting that occurred during her last year of university. Halfway around the world in Nigeria, Juliet has survived family tragedies, economic downturns, and an oppressive patriarchy. With a one-chance swipe on their phones in a country foreign to them both, the two women begin a remarkable romantic relationship that most fairy tales wouldn’t dare to depict.
But can they hold onto each other?
As their lives intertwine, Ramya suffers acute memory loss so pronounced that she sometimes forgets where she is, who she’s with, and even who she is. Periodically, Juliet experiences time freezes that throw her out of sync with everyone around her. Ultimately, the two women choose to begin a new life together in New York City, where their love will be acknowledged and respected. But for Juliet to make it through the American immigration process, the two women must get to the root causes of these memory loss and time-lapse episodes by coming to terms with their pasts.
Written by a singularly talented, wildly imaginative novelist, What It Meant to Survive is a powerful and bracing work of fiction inspired by the Virginia Tech Massacre, and the author's real-life experience navigating its long-term social and emotional impacts.
346 pages, Paperback
Published October 1, 2024
71 people want to read
About the author
Mala Kumar
2 books17 followersMala Kumar is the author of the 2014 novel, The Paths of Marriage. What it Meant to Survive is her second novel. Her op-eds, interviews, and essays have appeared in The Guardian, The Advocate, TechCrunch, USA Today, India Abroad, The Aerogram, and Brown Girl Magazine. In her professional life, Mala is a global leader in tech for social good. She has worked extensively for the United Nations and at GitHub, a Microsoft-owned software company. Mala lives in New York City with her wife.
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
September 7, 2024
Love and resilience
Mala Kumar’s second book, What it meant to survive, is a page turner. Grabs your attention from page 1 and depicts a poignant love story of an LGBTQ couple in such an easy to read style that you are hardly aware how fast one can read this book.
The easy to read narrative very skillfully weaves a life encompassing complex human emotions and delves into current topics and cultural expectations experienced by the main characters Ramya and Juliet in a very easily relatable manner. Their love, grief, resilience and joy soon becomes yours!
The woven tapestry contains layers upon layers of varied emotions - love, happiness, grief, gun violence, colorism, racism as part of this fictional story, loosely based on real life, is presented in a heart tugging manner.
Just when you think you know what is going on, life turns upside down. I am sure that an empathetic person cannot not finish this book without shedding tears of joy, grief and every emotion in between.
This book is a treasure!
Mala Kumar’s second book, What it meant to survive, is a page turner. Grabs your attention from page 1 and depicts a poignant love story of an LGBTQ couple in such an easy to read style that you are hardly aware how fast one can read this book.
The easy to read narrative very skillfully weaves a life encompassing complex human emotions and delves into current topics and cultural expectations experienced by the main characters Ramya and Juliet in a very easily relatable manner. Their love, grief, resilience and joy soon becomes yours!
The woven tapestry contains layers upon layers of varied emotions - love, happiness, grief, gun violence, colorism, racism as part of this fictional story, loosely based on real life, is presented in a heart tugging manner.
Just when you think you know what is going on, life turns upside down. I am sure that an empathetic person cannot not finish this book without shedding tears of joy, grief and every emotion in between.
This book is a treasure!
January 19, 2025
Best BIPOC queer romance I’ve read in ages!!!!
September 9, 2024
Life is a journey. We all have heard the phrase. Mala Kumar takes readers on life’s journeys with her protrayal of Ramya and Juliet, the two major characters of her book.
Ramya, the daughter of Indian immigrants, is an American from Virginia. Juliet, is a product of Nigeria. Two women, raised in totally different countries and societies, who meet in a third country and take a chance on love.
Their journeys, now come together as one. Both women have dealt with past trauma, gun violence, societal expectations, and discrimination. But their love, common shared values propel them forward. They create new lives together and eventually move to New York City.
Mala Kumar invites readers on this journey of Ramya and Juliet’s lives. We see scenes of their past, their present, the turmoil, the hope, the optimism, the joy, and all that life has to offer. We can feel their emotions, their pain, their sorrow and but we can also feel their resilience and their power.
“What It Meant to Survive,” is the perfect title for this book. It is Ramya and Juliet’s story and speaks to us all. Mala does a wonderful job of relating such emotions in her characters. I whole heartedly recommend this book.
Ramya, the daughter of Indian immigrants, is an American from Virginia. Juliet, is a product of Nigeria. Two women, raised in totally different countries and societies, who meet in a third country and take a chance on love.
Their journeys, now come together as one. Both women have dealt with past trauma, gun violence, societal expectations, and discrimination. But their love, common shared values propel them forward. They create new lives together and eventually move to New York City.
Mala Kumar invites readers on this journey of Ramya and Juliet’s lives. We see scenes of their past, their present, the turmoil, the hope, the optimism, the joy, and all that life has to offer. We can feel their emotions, their pain, their sorrow and but we can also feel their resilience and their power.
“What It Meant to Survive,” is the perfect title for this book. It is Ramya and Juliet’s story and speaks to us all. Mala does a wonderful job of relating such emotions in her characters. I whole heartedly recommend this book.
December 4, 2024
This had a promising blurb that hit all the spots I enjoy: sapphic main characters, woc, dealing with trauma, etc. However, the actual execution was unfortunately lackluster for me. The characters and their relationship feels very shallow. We have a reference to thousands of conversations over messaging but we are only ever privy to two dates, which leads me into the "telling, not showing" annoyance I often have. If you want me to be invested in these characters and their relationships, instead of telling me how much they care about each other or how good they are for each other, show me so that I can arrive at that conclusion myself. Both the women reference each other and themselves as "deep thinkers" and having the tools for cultural sensitivity, but I don't see it. Most of this book is logistics, an inexplicable condition where stress causes one to lose her memory for periods of time and the other to feel like too much time has passed.
Unfortunately, I am unimpressed and even less so when the ending
Unfortunately, I am unimpressed and even less so when the ending
September 25, 2024
What It Meant to Survive is the kind of book that transports your mind to another dimension. Because of how interactive the book is, it invites you into a world where love and spirituality are tantamount. Ramya’s and Juliet’s love story shows the reader that love has no bounds, regardless of race, sexuality and nationality. The strength and care they show for each other inspires the reader to fall in love. Yet, What It Meant to Survives shows us the lines between life and death, even inviting us to walk that line. This is a book that will leave you feeling empowered, enlightened and flabbergasted.
December 17, 2024
For context, I was a student at Virginia Tech when the shooting happened, one of my friends lost her life that day.
When we were introduced to Ramya’s bouts of amnesia and/or anxiety in the context of the shooting, it all felt too real. I had to stop and take breaks with how painful it was to re-live even my relatively peripheral involvement in what happened. For those who have a connection to VT but weren’t there in 2007, this work provides a perspective to understand how the events of that day affected our lives, as well as what was taken from those who lost theirs.
On the Ramya/Juliet relationship, I really felt that awkwardness and sense of being on uneven ground at the beginning of a relationship, definitely can relate! I loved the 2 perspectives. I really felt the connection and growing love between Ramya and Juliet during the safari.
****Spoiler warning****
I was in denial about the foreshadowing (their names being so close to Romeo and Juliet, I was hoping that wasn’t going to come to fruition) and the references to other deaths of loved ones. It just broke my heart at the Dubai memorial. I hadn’t guessed the twist but I thought the author used the false memory technique to great effect to illustrate all the things the victims should have been able to experience. It reminded me again how close we were/are to being in that same position. I haven’t been numb to gun violence since that day, but it hurts to see how so many people continue to be after so much senseless loss.
When we were introduced to Ramya’s bouts of amnesia and/or anxiety in the context of the shooting, it all felt too real. I had to stop and take breaks with how painful it was to re-live even my relatively peripheral involvement in what happened. For those who have a connection to VT but weren’t there in 2007, this work provides a perspective to understand how the events of that day affected our lives, as well as what was taken from those who lost theirs.
On the Ramya/Juliet relationship, I really felt that awkwardness and sense of being on uneven ground at the beginning of a relationship, definitely can relate! I loved the 2 perspectives. I really felt the connection and growing love between Ramya and Juliet during the safari.
****Spoiler warning****
I was in denial about the foreshadowing (their names being so close to Romeo and Juliet, I was hoping that wasn’t going to come to fruition) and the references to other deaths of loved ones. It just broke my heart at the Dubai memorial. I hadn’t guessed the twist but I thought the author used the false memory technique to great effect to illustrate all the things the victims should have been able to experience. It reminded me again how close we were/are to being in that same position. I haven’t been numb to gun violence since that day, but it hurts to see how so many people continue to be after so much senseless loss.
September 22, 2024
Not what I expected and really not my cup of tea
What it Meant to Survive will provoke strong responses of one kind or another from readers, likely more than once while reading. This is my first time reading this author and I am curious to read their other published work but will wait until this book is fully out of my system first. It may take some time.
This story was not what I expected and there were several challenges for me while reading that other readers may also experience. Many of the scenes set in several African countries were a culture shock to my Western upbringing and parts of the dialogue are written in pidgin English which took time to decipher and get accustomed to. I was unmoored additionally with the storytelling by each of the main characters as both of them have experienced traumas that skew their perceptions and perspectives; each chapter begins with name of the character whose POV it's being told from, the date, and the country in Africa or city in the USA where it takes place.
There was a lengthy period of adjustment where I was unsure what was really going on in the story, and the differing perspectives of main characters Juliet and Ramya of certain events added to that confusion; there is some repetition in chapters told from each of their POV which is helpful if you're not reading the book in one sitting but may be irritating or frustrating to some other readers. Once I had a better footing in the rhythm of the story and the above issues, I was able to go along for the ride with Juliet and Ramya's relationship, more clear about the differences in their cultures and upbringings. Then a major plot twist (there may be more than one in the story) occurs and it was like a rug pull from under my feet, which I was not happy with at all. By the end of the book I was irked, the following day less so and able to appreciate the creative elements of the story along with the introduction to aspects of culture in some African countries; however the story still remains for me (now days later, not my cup of tea). Questions were raised throughout the story and the resolution of those questions was lacking for me by the end.
I caution readers that this book is not a beach read or an easy read; there are dark themes addressed and some explicit descriptions that may bother some readers. If you want something totally different from the norm this fits the bill but be prepared for a strong emotional reaction to the story while reading.
What it Meant to Survive will provoke strong responses of one kind or another from readers, likely more than once while reading. This is my first time reading this author and I am curious to read their other published work but will wait until this book is fully out of my system first. It may take some time.
This story was not what I expected and there were several challenges for me while reading that other readers may also experience. Many of the scenes set in several African countries were a culture shock to my Western upbringing and parts of the dialogue are written in pidgin English which took time to decipher and get accustomed to. I was unmoored additionally with the storytelling by each of the main characters as both of them have experienced traumas that skew their perceptions and perspectives; each chapter begins with name of the character whose POV it's being told from, the date, and the country in Africa or city in the USA where it takes place.
There was a lengthy period of adjustment where I was unsure what was really going on in the story, and the differing perspectives of main characters Juliet and Ramya of certain events added to that confusion; there is some repetition in chapters told from each of their POV which is helpful if you're not reading the book in one sitting but may be irritating or frustrating to some other readers. Once I had a better footing in the rhythm of the story and the above issues, I was able to go along for the ride with Juliet and Ramya's relationship, more clear about the differences in their cultures and upbringings. Then a major plot twist (there may be more than one in the story) occurs and it was like a rug pull from under my feet, which I was not happy with at all. By the end of the book I was irked, the following day less so and able to appreciate the creative elements of the story along with the introduction to aspects of culture in some African countries; however the story still remains for me (now days later, not my cup of tea). Questions were raised throughout the story and the resolution of those questions was lacking for me by the end.
I caution readers that this book is not a beach read or an easy read; there are dark themes addressed and some explicit descriptions that may bother some readers. If you want something totally different from the norm this fits the bill but be prepared for a strong emotional reaction to the story while reading.
September 8, 2024
Mala Kumar's sophomore novel is a wonderful and heartbreaking look into real, human costs of senseless gun violence. Through Ramya and Juliet's alternating viewpoints, we see their relationship strengthen over time as they overcome distance barriers, cultural and language gaps, being a same sex couple in a world that still doesn't always accept this, and navigating past trauma. The book does a wonderful job at addressing these multiple issues without wearing the reader down. At the same time, you still get a compelling story featuring two unique, fleshed out characters who almost instantly make you want to root for their success and happiness.
Given how numb so much of American society seems to have become to mass gun violence, witnessing the long-term effects of one of these tragedies through the eyes of an actual relationship was, dare I say, a palate cleanser I almost didn't realize I needed. It reminded me that we can't and shouldn't be numb to such awful catastrophes and that even one life lost or affected by a loss is one life too many.
A well-written yet easy read that's probably more relevant now than ever.
Given how numb so much of American society seems to have become to mass gun violence, witnessing the long-term effects of one of these tragedies through the eyes of an actual relationship was, dare I say, a palate cleanser I almost didn't realize I needed. It reminded me that we can't and shouldn't be numb to such awful catastrophes and that even one life lost or affected by a loss is one life too many.
A well-written yet easy read that's probably more relevant now than ever.
October 19, 2024
What it meant to survive by Mala Kumar is a spellbinding tale of romance between two courageous and strong women against the backdrop of national, cultural, racial and religious differences.
The book is rich with vivid imagery and immerses the readers as they travel around the world with the author.
The atmosphere and character development speaks to the ability of the author’s storytelling. Her thoughts flowed well and moved the book along quickly.
Also embedded in the story is a strong message about gun violence, its long lasting effects on individuals, families and communities.
As the book’s mystery unfolds its unpredictable ending leaves a lasting impression on readers!!
The book is rich with vivid imagery and immerses the readers as they travel around the world with the author.
The atmosphere and character development speaks to the ability of the author’s storytelling. Her thoughts flowed well and moved the book along quickly.
Also embedded in the story is a strong message about gun violence, its long lasting effects on individuals, families and communities.
As the book’s mystery unfolds its unpredictable ending leaves a lasting impression on readers!!
June 23, 2025
A great read for anyone! Completely blown away by the author's skillful ability to take you all over the world and make you feel as if you're really there. The characters feel just as real and vivid. I love the chapter form and found it exciting to read my way through.
It's one of the best LBGTQ+ books I've ever read! Perfectly making the romance and the development of their relationship something that was invaluable and full of the fun of queer love without falling to stereotypes or overdone storylines.
Highly recommend and applaud this novel as a journey where you learn about yourself, the world, the "what if's", and- how to find deep meaning in life.
It's one of the best LBGTQ+ books I've ever read! Perfectly making the romance and the development of their relationship something that was invaluable and full of the fun of queer love without falling to stereotypes or overdone storylines.
Highly recommend and applaud this novel as a journey where you learn about yourself, the world, the "what if's", and- how to find deep meaning in life.
November 9, 2024
This beautifully written novel makes the case to take a chance on love. It captures the lives of two women as they navigate the complexities of their relationship and personal resilience across continents. Chapters alternate between each character’s perspective, allowing readers to quickly connect with both women and see events happening in parallel. Despite its heavy themes, the book is fluid and easy to read, drawing you into a vivid, emotional journey that stays with you long after the final page.
November 3, 2024
What It Meant to Survive is an exploration into how trauma becomes a part of us, but how we can choose not to let it define us, and rather let love define us. You can tell the author has not only lived but immersed herself in the various countries the characters live and travel to by the way she paints a vivid portrayal of their nuanced cultures. It explores race, class, privilege, and sexuality and makes you reflect on your own experiences. Even though there is darkness in the violence and prejudice, the story soars as the love story between Juliette and Ramya unfolds and they merge their cultures and experiences.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews