The Teen's Guide to PDA

by Laura Kerbey, Eliza Fricker, Dr Woollatt (foreword)

Being a teenager is tricky at the best of times. Your body is changing and hormones are raging around your body - adding PDA to the mix makes this even harder! You may often feel misunderstood by others, and find it hard to understand yourself too. Whether you've just been diagnosed with PDA -or are a seasoned PDAer keen to know a bit more - this warm and wittily illustrated guide will give you a better understanding of your amazing brain and why you are so good at some things, but find other things tricky. It will help you to advocate for yourself better, understand your anxieties, manage rejection sensitivity dysphoria, explain to your family and friends and others what you need (and what drives you up the wall) - and navigate school or alternative education.

Genres: Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Nonfiction

128 pages, Paperback

Published June 21, 2024

Reviews

[Jennifer Ivan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book perfectly reflected all the things my teen says she feels. I think it could be really good for teens with PDA to see they are not alone and that they can manage this.

[Tc · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another great resource, and one to help teens themselves. Other than a typo (missing sentence or two) on p96-97, there were some very practical tips, written in a meaningful and non demand-y way.

[Kim Pallister · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this before recommending it to my kid to read. Good level for teens/young adults struggling to understand autism, and the PDA manifestation of it specifically.

[Carmen · Rating 3 out of 5]

earlier this week, i'd had an episode lasting 2-3 days. an episode of what, you ask? could've been depression, could've been overwhelming anxiety, could've been bipolar (we can't confirm that), but it also could've been PDA. i mentioned PDA early during the episode, and funnily enough, my dad had had two books on PDA sitting in his amazon basket for months after a dinner with an old work friend talking about how their autistic son experiences PDA. we finally bought this and the same authors' book designed for families on PDA after realising i might have it.

usually, as has been my experience when figuring out what's wrong with me, we find a condition, i do a shit tonne of research, and then however much i resonate with what the research says essentially informs me whether or not i have that condition. this absolutely was the case with autism before i got diagnosed with it, and while that's the only thing i've been formally diagnosed with, there've been other conditions that meet that pattern that i may or may not have in reality. one thing that's always been easy, though, is the resonating part. i probably do have PDA - i recognise some of its traits in my daily life - but it's much more discreet than i would've thought or expected it to be, so if not for the fact that i recognise some of its traits, it almost feels like i don't have it. it's like i have to work at identifying it within me, which has never been the case with autism, for example - that was just more a case of understanding the ways it presents and then how the sociological impacts of either the condition itself or the societal fallouts present.

to bring my point back to the book, i think it's good (at least, for me personally) in the sense that this is a jumping off point for a lot more research to take place. ideally, my research could involve books that feel like they're written in a less patronising way (why is every teenage self help book written like we're f-ing idiots??) but maybe in this particular context that serves the purpose of not activating people's PDA accidentally. still, i'd like to be talked to like an adult, most teens are intelligent enough that you don't have to handhold them the entire way.

a good thing (mostly) is that it's very short and won't take a long time to get through; i'm the kind of person where if i get a new book, it will sit in TBR purgatory for a VERY long time unless i start reading it immediately. i'm actually in the middle of another book at the minute (unmasking autism by dr devon price) but that's such a long and in-depth read that i keep putting off the next chapter and i thought a small 100-ish page self-help book on a related subject with a font and layout that'll be fast to read won't affect my rule of "one book at a time" too much. i read through this over one night and finished what i couldn't in the morning. digestible self help, for sure.

overall? if you think you have PDA, this is likewise probably a good jumping off point (if you're not an adult yet) but also there are probably other books that are potentially better based on your specific situation and needs than this one. still, i've barely scratched the surface and i have a lot of work to do learning, understanding, recognising and (self) identifying about PDA, so i do feel a little uninformed with my opinion over here, but still. normally i'd say read if you think this applies to you, but that's definitely a demand (lol) so... i would suggest this if you think you might have PDA. you never know.

[Theresa T · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is welcoming, accessible and inclusive. I don’t know if my PDA teens will read it but if they do, I think they will feel seen!

[Lili Fouts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very easy to read/understand.

[Rena Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

So helpful for me as a. Read it in less than two hours. Lapped it up!!

[Eileen]

I need to learn more about this subject before I'm ready to rate the book. One interesting thing I learned was that there are two alternate ways to refer to the acronym PDA which I had previously only heard as Pathological Demand Avoidance - Pervasive Desire for Autonomy (coined by Tomlin Wilding) or Persistent Drive for Autonomy (coined by Dr. Wren Lawson). This label is sometimes added to autism and it is related to increased anxiety and avoidance in high demand situations. Demands can be literal instructions, but also suggestions or expectations. These demands can feel like threats to people with PDA and anxiety can have cognitive, physiological and behavioral effects. This book for young people also touches on RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria) which includes a tendency to interpret comments as criticism, have big reactions to perceived slights due to severe anxiety and generally live in doubt about the strength of one's friendships and relationships. I don't know how helpful books like these are to young people. The authors even take care to avoid suggesting that PDAers read this book if they don't want to! Although PDA and RSD aren't recognized diagnoses in the DSM-5 manual many people seem to relate to/exhibit these characteristics as part of their experience of autism. Please comment recommendations for what you consider a worthwhile teaching/parenting book on this topic if you have one you find useful.