"Aitai."

Jiai Jouwa #2

by Hildred Billings

Ten years ago Saya escaped a forced marriage in the house of Hara, granting herself the freedom to follow her will. And for ten years she has been content to live a life of near poverty and menial labor in exchange for being the master of her own destiny. That was until she met Jun, the hotel heiress who stole her heart and taught her what love and protection could feel like.

Now Saya finds herself torn between two worlds: her girlfriend's reality, comprised of formalities and endless wealth, and her own head, which pulls her to the isolation of the Japanese countryside. Jun wants her to settle in the city, yet Saya is not sure she can live with the pressures to conform to high society.

In the midst of this dilemma is the one thing Saya wants more than anything else - a divorce from the man who tried to ruin her life. But the leash connecting her to the Haras runs long, and Saya soon finds that her heart's call of "Aitai," or "I want to see you," not only echoes for Jun when they are apart, but for the people who forced her to become the woman she is today.

Genres: Romance, Lesbian

241 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 27, 2013

About the author

Hildred Billings is a Japanese and Religious Studies graduate who has spent her entire life knowing she would write for a living someday. She has lived in Japan multiple times in multiple locations, from the heights of the Japanese alps to the hectic Tokyo suburbs, with a life in Shikoku somewhere in there too.

Currently, Hildred lives in Oregon with her partner and two cats. When she's not commandeering the corner of the neighborhood coffee shop on hours on end (it's okay, she's on a first-name basis with the baristas) she's probably parked on the couch watching Bob's Burgers or screaming at a Zelda game. (Seriously, Link, why don't you move right?)

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Reviews

[Corrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Atai we get to see inside Saya's head because it's told from her pov. It gives a nice balance with the previous book where we were looking through Jun's eyes. Saya is such a wonderful character as we see her grow into this new relationship. Her pride, her independence and in particular her demons. As her love for Jun grows, she knows she can never move forward if she doesn't face her past. And that past lives in a small village in Southern Japan, where she fled from her family and her abusive husband 10 years ago.

I'm in awe of Hildred Billings storytelling. There are so many layers that make up Jun and Saya. The intruiging Japanese mindset, the old ways making way for more Western thinking, the landscape, big city life vs. rural Japan. Be ready to get an education in the best way possible.

f/f explicit
Themes: we discover the vagina orchid painting's origin, Saya has many demons to slay, lovely inner dialogue, I so understand her jealousy btw,
5 stars

[Alice4170 🌙 · Rating 3 out of 5]

3/5 ⭐️

[Doug Elliott · Rating 3 out of 5]

This continuation of Jiai Jouwa, told from Saya's POV, provides a more in-depth look at her character. The result is a more complete look at the two as a couple with more insight into how their relationship works. A potential HEA seems more likely after this installment.