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I Should Have Swallowed: A Cautionary Parenting Tale
On morning throne I’m finally sitting, half asleep and fully shitting
Nerves are frazzled, headache splitting, dreaming of the childless days of yore
When suddenly there comes a rapping, an incessant, endless tapping
That interrupts my blissful crapping, small fingers creep beneath the door
Shrill voice asks ‘”Mummy, what you doing?” I crash back down to earth once more
“Piss off!" I whisper—“nevermore”
"I Should Have A Cautionary Parenting Tale" is a side-splitting yet brutally honest take on the realities of parenthood. A satirical reinvention of Edgar Allan Poe's 'The Raven,' this book encapsulates the chaos, frustration, and absurdity that comes with raising kids.
The author fearlessly tackles the interruptions, lost toys, annoying parents, mind-numbing games, and other daily struggles, painting a refreshingly real picture of parenting that will make you nod vigorously in agreement and cry with laughter.
With Stephen Fry praising it as "Delicious...Delightful...Charming and Funny and Dramatic," this book strikes a chord with its unfiltered humor and relatable content. It stands shoulder to shoulder with bestsellers like 'Go the F*ck to Sleep' and 'There are Moms Way Worse Than You,' offering a much-needed laugh to new parents grappling with the rollercoaster of child-rearing.
For every parent questioning their approach, "I Should Have Swallowed" is the comedic elixir they need. It candidly addresses the unspoken truth that not every moment of parenting is sunshine and rainbows – in fact, anyone claiming otherwise is either deceiving themselves or possibly unhinged. The book's humor is unapologetically raw, appealing to those who appreciate titles like 'Mommy cusses' and other irreverent, yet genuine accounts of the parenting experience.
Written by the same author who penned 'The Very Angry President,' this book stands out as a must-have gift for new parents. It doesn't hold back, echoing the vibes of 'Safe baby handling tips' while weaving in humor akin to 'Shitty Mom' anecdotes.
Through its unfiltered lens, "I Should Have Swallowed" delivers laughter, truth, and a sense of camaraderie to all parents navigating the tumultuous journey of raising children, offering a humorous refuge not dissimilar to the unexpected yet heartwarming revelations found in the hilarious 'Hookers and Blow save Christmas.'
Anyone who says they enjoy every moment of parenting is either a liar or a psychopath.
Probably both.
Nerves are frazzled, headache splitting, dreaming of the childless days of yore
When suddenly there comes a rapping, an incessant, endless tapping
That interrupts my blissful crapping, small fingers creep beneath the door
Shrill voice asks ‘”Mummy, what you doing?” I crash back down to earth once more
“Piss off!" I whisper—“nevermore”
"I Should Have A Cautionary Parenting Tale" is a side-splitting yet brutally honest take on the realities of parenthood. A satirical reinvention of Edgar Allan Poe's 'The Raven,' this book encapsulates the chaos, frustration, and absurdity that comes with raising kids.
The author fearlessly tackles the interruptions, lost toys, annoying parents, mind-numbing games, and other daily struggles, painting a refreshingly real picture of parenting that will make you nod vigorously in agreement and cry with laughter.
With Stephen Fry praising it as "Delicious...Delightful...Charming and Funny and Dramatic," this book strikes a chord with its unfiltered humor and relatable content. It stands shoulder to shoulder with bestsellers like 'Go the F*ck to Sleep' and 'There are Moms Way Worse Than You,' offering a much-needed laugh to new parents grappling with the rollercoaster of child-rearing.
For every parent questioning their approach, "I Should Have Swallowed" is the comedic elixir they need. It candidly addresses the unspoken truth that not every moment of parenting is sunshine and rainbows – in fact, anyone claiming otherwise is either deceiving themselves or possibly unhinged. The book's humor is unapologetically raw, appealing to those who appreciate titles like 'Mommy cusses' and other irreverent, yet genuine accounts of the parenting experience.
Written by the same author who penned 'The Very Angry President,' this book stands out as a must-have gift for new parents. It doesn't hold back, echoing the vibes of 'Safe baby handling tips' while weaving in humor akin to 'Shitty Mom' anecdotes.
Through its unfiltered lens, "I Should Have Swallowed" delivers laughter, truth, and a sense of camaraderie to all parents navigating the tumultuous journey of raising children, offering a humorous refuge not dissimilar to the unexpected yet heartwarming revelations found in the hilarious 'Hookers and Blow save Christmas.'
Anyone who says they enjoy every moment of parenting is either a liar or a psychopath.
Probably both.
- GenresHumor
Kindle Edition
Published September 18, 2023
5 people are currently reading
2 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
March 19, 2025
A reminder on why to not have kids. Three Stars.
Read
January 25, 2025Just why
February 11, 2025
Highlighting your misery being a parent makes me even more happy to be childfree.
February 15, 2025
Parenthood told by Edgar Allen Poe! 🤣🤣🤣
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews