Act normal!: 99 tips for dealing with the Dutch

by Hans Kaldenbach, J.G. Knecht (Translator)

Why is it that the Dutch hardly ever show their enthusiasm in public, and believe it’s important always to get straight to the point? How should Dutch women be addressed? Who picks up the check in a café or restaurant? These are some of the 99 topics in Act Normal!, a light-hearted ‘user’s guide’ for anyone who – voluntarily or otherwise – is confronted with the Dutch in daily life. This thumbnail sketch of Dutch culture contains on-the-mark descriptions of present-day etiquette in the Netherlands.
For the Dutch themselves, Act Normal! offers an amusing ‘look in the mirror’. Yet it also serves as a concise and useful manual for all foreigners who have settled in the Netherlands. It is indispensable for the many tourists who visit our country every year.

53 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1994

Reviews

[Martijn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Een hilarisch boek!

[Jaap Grolleman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short, concise, funny — and on-point as long as you remind yourself this was written 23 years ago; yet the foundation still stands. Honesty is more important than kindness. A quarrel that has not been solved is not really over. Dutch like direct communication and a student can contradict his or her teacher. And to a Dutch person, It seems that if you don’t openly apologize, it seems like you don’t mind what you have done.

Someone who wants to feel hurt will find some sentences and label them as racist, such as cultural differences between Turkish or Moroccan families. But the book hides not. It just says what Dutch people like, or what they think is highly annoying — regardless of whether the attitude of Dutch people is fair or not. (A Morrocan or Turkish woman who has to walk behind her husband, smacking or slurping while eating, foreigners who keep talking their own language.)

I think it is a great mediator, and I think it is a great book especially for immigrants or expats who move to the Netherlands, although I wonder if their Dutch level will be good enough for this book (but I saw that this book is also available in English). There is a lot of practical advice in there, even on language — how certain phrases or questions will make Dutch people appreciate you more. It is funny too for Dutch people, and useful for them to look in a mirror, or share some paragraphs with their foreign partner.

I wish I had a book like this moving to China, talking about how to live together with Chinese people. Not about how to make the best of career opportunities, or some basic Confucian principles that were neither specific nor true — but about the different attitudes towards family members, towards separating life and work, money, insurance, future, children, being honest or being kind. Etcetera.

[Deborah Carter · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's one of the most concise books on Dutch culture that I've read so far - and in my 24 years of living here, I've read a few!
It's written with a good dosage of humor and it's almost 100% true, though I suspect that Kaldenbach wrote it with Islam-based readers in mind, to help with their integration.
Some aspects of Dutch society - especially in the big cities - are changing, so parts of the book should be taken with a grain of salt.
It's an easy read and a short read.

[Petra De Graaf · Rating 3 out of 5]

Proeflezen, dit boek is ook in het Chinees vertaald, even kijken of het nuttig is om aan mijn collega’s te geven

Beetje saai, beetje ouderwets, maar wel nuttig voor collega’s die hier met een enorme culture shock zitten

[Helena Guerra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to God, I have lived with a couple who are not Dutch at all. I consider myself very punctual. I am almost like a British person in that aspect. People know me for my punctuality on everything. There are rare times I get late, and when it happens, there is a good reason for this. Maybe I didn´t want to be there.

In this case, I love how the book explains the codes to understand Dutch men. It helps me not be surprised by their manners and helps me to know how a Dutch man acts when interested in a woman with a romantic interest. Unfortunately, I didn´t fit with any man. I knew they were looking for a more Latina woman, and apparently, I look very different to them even, because of my personality.

Dutch people are very nice and extraordinary people. I visited some towns and met amazing people for example, in Den Helder, Helmond, and Maastricht! I will never forget about them. I have an idea that maybe my husband would be Dutch.

[Mehsi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Een hilarisch boekje over 99 dingen die Nederlanders doen. Ik moet zeggen ik als 100% Nederlander vraag me vaak ook af waarom we x doen. :P Het was erg grappig om te lezen, al is het wel een tikje saai om all 99 in een keer te lezen. Na 50 had ik al een beetje genoeg en probeerde ik wat anders te doen tussen het lezen, maar dan nog was het een tik saai.
Maar toch ben ik heel blij dat ik dit boekje uit de bibliotheek heb gehaald want het is wel allemaal waar al een tikje overdreven.
Dus een aanrader.

[Kelly · Rating 1 out of 5]

Hopelessly outdated.

[Sheila · Rating 4 out of 5]

Grappig en herkenbaar