What do you think?
Rate this book
YOU ONLY GO EXTINCT ONCE: Stuck in the Anthropocene with the Pleistocene Blues Again
YOU ONLY GO EXTINCT ONCE (Stuck in the Anthropocene with the Pleistocene Blues Again) shows us a planet that is simultaneously funny, fascinating, frightening, and full of plants, animals, and humans who think they have things figured out. Haven't we learned anything yet? Even the Neanderthals could have taught us that you only go extinct once. From essays like "We're All a Little Bananas Here" and "Beavers vs the Army Corps of Engineers," to "Calling All Neanderthals" and "Interview with an Inflatable Tube Man," YOU ONLY GO EXTINCT ONCE not only shows us the natural world, but how hysterically far from the natural world humans have come.
Nobody ever said the Anthropocene would be easy. It's not even easy for all scientists to agree that we're in the Anthropocene, a period of geologic time defined by human's impact on climate and ecosystems, and further evidence, perhaps, that we should all go back to the Pleistocene and start over. Sometimes, when you find yourself at an evolutionary dead-end, all you can do is laugh.
In these fifty essays, environmental scientist Bob Lorentson blends humor with science, nature, and culture until the reader won't know whether to laugh, cry, or start building an ark. If you liked his first book, HOLD THE APOCALYPSE - PASS ME A SCIENTIST PLEASE, you're sure to enjoy YOU ONLY GO EXTINCT ONCE.
From "Wouldn't You Like to Be a Prepper Too?": An apocalypse is no time to discover that time goes twice as slow in a bunker, and toilet paper twice as fast.
From "A Modern Guide to Thinking": If you find yourself saying, What were they thinking? more than usual these days, perhaps it's time to take a closer look at an activity that some think back on as the foundation of humanity, while others think ahead and just see the ruins.
From "The Opossum - America's National Shame": While other mammals were busy evolving into fascinating creatures like horses, foxes, and bison, opossums are a 65-million-year-old reminder of what happens when you don't even try.
From "How to Resurrect Will Cuppy": The animals spoke to him in ways that people didn't, although in the city it took a fine ear to tell the difference.
From "Animals on Drugs": Sometimes I have to wonder if the whole planet isn't made of locoweed.
Nobody ever said the Anthropocene would be easy. It's not even easy for all scientists to agree that we're in the Anthropocene, a period of geologic time defined by human's impact on climate and ecosystems, and further evidence, perhaps, that we should all go back to the Pleistocene and start over. Sometimes, when you find yourself at an evolutionary dead-end, all you can do is laugh.
In these fifty essays, environmental scientist Bob Lorentson blends humor with science, nature, and culture until the reader won't know whether to laugh, cry, or start building an ark. If you liked his first book, HOLD THE APOCALYPSE - PASS ME A SCIENTIST PLEASE, you're sure to enjoy YOU ONLY GO EXTINCT ONCE.
From "Wouldn't You Like to Be a Prepper Too?": An apocalypse is no time to discover that time goes twice as slow in a bunker, and toilet paper twice as fast.
From "A Modern Guide to Thinking": If you find yourself saying, What were they thinking? more than usual these days, perhaps it's time to take a closer look at an activity that some think back on as the foundation of humanity, while others think ahead and just see the ruins.
From "The Opossum - America's National Shame": While other mammals were busy evolving into fascinating creatures like horses, foxes, and bison, opossums are a 65-million-year-old reminder of what happens when you don't even try.
From "How to Resurrect Will Cuppy": The animals spoke to him in ways that people didn't, although in the city it took a fine ear to tell the difference.
From "Animals on Drugs": Sometimes I have to wonder if the whole planet isn't made of locoweed.
- GenresNonfiction
182 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 29, 2023
100 people are currently reading
59 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
February 18, 2024
VERY funny book. I loved the essays, which were engaging because they were not only informative but humorous. I did think the title was a bit of a misnomer. But I'm not unhappy with that, just letting folks know because actually, I almost didn't read the book because I thought it would be a real downer - and it definitely isn't.
December 22, 2023
Humor! Literature! Philosophy! Psychology! The fine arts! The natural sciences! This book explores all of these. While Bob Lorentson is a Humorist, he writes not just to make us laugh, but also to make us think. So add to his résumé, Satirist, because this book is best summarized as social satire.
Social satire is often associated with political commentary, such as the skits on nighttime TV shows broadcast live. Lorentson steers clear of politics, a narrow feature of human society. Instead, he sets his sights on the deeper and broader entire human condition. And not just our role in society, but humanity’s place on the planet Earth.
When he takes aim at lofty subjects, he reveals truths that you would not expect to find in a book of humor and satire. Along with all the fun and laughs, we learn a lot from him. And for the academically inclined, book provides a bibliography, so naysayers who might suspect the author of steering from the truth can see that all the author’s assertions and conclusions are based on solid science.
Lorentson’s book is a collection of 50 short eclectic essays that each can be read in a single sitting. Or if you like to read yourself to sleep, in a single reclining. Perfect for those of us whose brains have become atrophied by videos on unsocial media and by soundbites on old news shows. The 50 essays are categorized into two broad topics, the first 25 into “The Plants and Animals,” and the remaining 25 into the most dangerous and destructive of all animals, “The Humans.” I should not tell you this (meaning, I’m going to go ahead and tell you this), but some of the chapters can be found lurking on his website.
Though he provides no empirical evidence to support his claim, Lorentson describes himself as a retired environmental scientist. As a job description, that sounds elusive and evasive to me, so I conducted an extensive background check (meaning, I googled his name) and found his allegation to be true. He retired from the environmental arm of Connecticut’s Department of Energy and Environmental Protection.
By no surprise, the author’s writing excels among “The Plants and Animals” where he ponders flora and fauna, and mostly fauna at that. Here are excerpts of three topical animal essays of special relevance to us in New England.
About Roadkill, the author instills humor even into a deadly serious matter for which we all share blame. “Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t. A 2,000-pound vehicle turned it into pavement pizza. … It’s Carmageddon out there! … Please give animals a brake.”
About Dairy Cows, we gain insights into the tenets of veganism through an interview with Elsie. “If I don’t make my quota, I’ll be inside a bun rather than a barn. … We give you milk, butter, and cheese, but instead of saying thank you, you eat us and turn our children into veal.”
About Black Bears, we learn their habitat and habits. “Most make their homes in forests, except those that do so in zoos. … Cubs are weaned at six months, then forced to eat grubs and garbage until they learn to like it. Afterwards they leave in search of picnic baskets and refrigerators. … They can track a refrigerator for miles.”
America’s great humorist Mark Twain lived for 18 years in Hartford, CT, in a 25-room mansion, now an historic museum. Some 22 miles southeast of Hartford you’ll find East Haddam, the town that is home to Lorentson, our author in whom a century later Mark Twain’s literary spirit lives on.
How to read this book:
You can’t tickle yourself. To make yourself giggle, someone else must tickle you. Laughing out loud, too, is a shared experience. For others to hear your laughter, you have to hear theirs, too. In a movie theater, when the audience around you laughs out loud, you are more prone to join in. A movie scene might get you laughing so hard that you almost pee in your pants. But that same scene when viewed alone at home streamed on TV will leave you silent and dry.
Reading is an equally solitary act. In response to something funny, you might chuckle inwardly and silently, but never aloud. Yet someone nearby who can hear you just might prompt you to verbalize your appreciation by a guffaw or two. So try reading aloud some chapters of this book to your friends or family. Their LOL’s will get you, too, roaring in laughter.
Social satire is often associated with political commentary, such as the skits on nighttime TV shows broadcast live. Lorentson steers clear of politics, a narrow feature of human society. Instead, he sets his sights on the deeper and broader entire human condition. And not just our role in society, but humanity’s place on the planet Earth.
When he takes aim at lofty subjects, he reveals truths that you would not expect to find in a book of humor and satire. Along with all the fun and laughs, we learn a lot from him. And for the academically inclined, book provides a bibliography, so naysayers who might suspect the author of steering from the truth can see that all the author’s assertions and conclusions are based on solid science.
Lorentson’s book is a collection of 50 short eclectic essays that each can be read in a single sitting. Or if you like to read yourself to sleep, in a single reclining. Perfect for those of us whose brains have become atrophied by videos on unsocial media and by soundbites on old news shows. The 50 essays are categorized into two broad topics, the first 25 into “The Plants and Animals,” and the remaining 25 into the most dangerous and destructive of all animals, “The Humans.” I should not tell you this (meaning, I’m going to go ahead and tell you this), but some of the chapters can be found lurking on his website.
Though he provides no empirical evidence to support his claim, Lorentson describes himself as a retired environmental scientist. As a job description, that sounds elusive and evasive to me, so I conducted an extensive background check (meaning, I googled his name) and found his allegation to be true. He retired from the environmental arm of Connecticut’s Department of Energy and Environmental Protection.
By no surprise, the author’s writing excels among “The Plants and Animals” where he ponders flora and fauna, and mostly fauna at that. Here are excerpts of three topical animal essays of special relevance to us in New England.
About Roadkill, the author instills humor even into a deadly serious matter for which we all share blame. “Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t. A 2,000-pound vehicle turned it into pavement pizza. … It’s Carmageddon out there! … Please give animals a brake.”
About Dairy Cows, we gain insights into the tenets of veganism through an interview with Elsie. “If I don’t make my quota, I’ll be inside a bun rather than a barn. … We give you milk, butter, and cheese, but instead of saying thank you, you eat us and turn our children into veal.”
About Black Bears, we learn their habitat and habits. “Most make their homes in forests, except those that do so in zoos. … Cubs are weaned at six months, then forced to eat grubs and garbage until they learn to like it. Afterwards they leave in search of picnic baskets and refrigerators. … They can track a refrigerator for miles.”
America’s great humorist Mark Twain lived for 18 years in Hartford, CT, in a 25-room mansion, now an historic museum. Some 22 miles southeast of Hartford you’ll find East Haddam, the town that is home to Lorentson, our author in whom a century later Mark Twain’s literary spirit lives on.
How to read this book:
You can’t tickle yourself. To make yourself giggle, someone else must tickle you. Laughing out loud, too, is a shared experience. For others to hear your laughter, you have to hear theirs, too. In a movie theater, when the audience around you laughs out loud, you are more prone to join in. A movie scene might get you laughing so hard that you almost pee in your pants. But that same scene when viewed alone at home streamed on TV will leave you silent and dry.
Reading is an equally solitary act. In response to something funny, you might chuckle inwardly and silently, but never aloud. Yet someone nearby who can hear you just might prompt you to verbalize your appreciation by a guffaw or two. So try reading aloud some chapters of this book to your friends or family. Their LOL’s will get you, too, roaring in laughter.
November 13, 2023
In You Only Go Extinct Once, Bob Lorentson discusses fifty topics about science, animals, insects, and culture. Adding whimsical elements, the author presents scientific data in a unique way, often implying a call to action without outright expressing it. The author details interesting facts, winding subjects, such as cow-hugging and ferret-legging, into otherwise serious debates. The retired environmental scientist chooses various subjects to help readers better understand their ecological impact and the need for better choices to balance the human footprint on the planet.
Bob Lorentson supplies factual information about animals and the amusing potential outcomes that may arise if humans do not rely on science to guide their future endeavors. Lorentson lays out his thoughts on a variety of subjects, like ocean pollution and bringing back an extinct species, in a comical context but with scientific truths that will resonate with the reader. The author's intelligence and common sense shine through in the essays as he delivers warnings about the direction in which we're going but with a humorous component. Lorentson's candid take on certain animals and insects is refreshing and liable to leave you with more knowledge and a funny take on the topics, like learning about companies that use castoreum near a beaver's anus for vanilla flavoring and the evidence of an ancient nine-foot-tall kangaroo with fangs, mentioned in his book. If you enjoy fascinating tidbits of information on biology, ecology, and sociology delivered entertainingly and emphasized with ironic wit, You Only Go Extinct Once is the perfect selection for you!
Bob Lorentson supplies factual information about animals and the amusing potential outcomes that may arise if humans do not rely on science to guide their future endeavors. Lorentson lays out his thoughts on a variety of subjects, like ocean pollution and bringing back an extinct species, in a comical context but with scientific truths that will resonate with the reader. The author's intelligence and common sense shine through in the essays as he delivers warnings about the direction in which we're going but with a humorous component. Lorentson's candid take on certain animals and insects is refreshing and liable to leave you with more knowledge and a funny take on the topics, like learning about companies that use castoreum near a beaver's anus for vanilla flavoring and the evidence of an ancient nine-foot-tall kangaroo with fangs, mentioned in his book. If you enjoy fascinating tidbits of information on biology, ecology, and sociology delivered entertainingly and emphasized with ironic wit, You Only Go Extinct Once is the perfect selection for you!
July 31, 2024
If you're looking for a book that will make you laugh, or at least chuckle now and then, You Only Go Extinct Once is the book for you. Bob Lorentson is an environmental scientist with a wry sense of humor. Climate change and the destruction to our environment are serious issues, but we can still smile at this author's sometimes wacky views. I have to say this was an awesome read.
May 1, 2024
Hysterically funny and educational
April 15, 2025
That was weird.
August 29, 2025
This book is hilarious and very informative.
October 13, 2025
This was not informative enough and also obnoxious.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews