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Bo's Café: A Novel
High-powered executive Steven Kerner is living the dream in southern California. But when his bottled pain ignites in anger one night, his wife kicks him out. Then an eccentric mystery man named Andy Monroe befriends Steven and begins unravelling his tightly wound world. Andy leads Steven through a series of frustrating and revealing encounters to repair his life through genuine friendship and the grace and love of a God who has been waiting for him to accept it. A story to challenge and encourage, Bo's Cafe is a model for all who struggle with unresolved problems and a performance-based life. Those who desire a fuller, more authentic way of living will find this journey of healing a restorative exploration of God's unbridled grace.
256 pages, Paperback
First published September 25, 2009
72 people are currently reading
473 people want to read
About the author
John Lynch
214 books18 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads data base.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 158 reviews
April 18, 2017
This book is to literature what a meatloaf recipe is haute cuisine. It barely deserves the category of novel, because there is literally nothing novel about it. It's barely even a story, since it's really two scenes of "drama" stitched together with endless, trite Christian monologues about authenticity in community that helps us overcome the shame that traps us in unfreedom. What's sad is that I am a real, gospel-centered Christian who believes that we need to be set free from shame in authentic community. I just don't understand why a book like this has to be so didactic. If your aim is to simply help people understand the basic contours of Biblical community, be honest and upfront about it and save us 243 pages to "unfold" it. Write a lightly theological non-fiction book about community, or better yet, an article, or if you must insist on making lots of money on the "public speaking" circuit from earnest and well-meaning Christians, just skip the crime against writing and do it already. (Any doubt about the money-making side of this "ministry" effort is quickly erased by reading the note from the authors at the end encouraging you to buy books and leave them on planes or on restaurant tables for servers. As if the indignity of fake "witnessing" money wasn't enough for them.) If there are any Christian writers out there who are genuinely talented at the craft, please take it from me that just because Christians love the truth doesn't mean we don't love artistry also. The Bible is the most artfully written book in all of history, so take your cue from the mouth of God and make art for the glory of God! Do it with all your might. Perhaps your efforts will restore the necessary distinction between novels and dramatized blog posts or as I described the book to a friend, a book written by algorithm trained by Andy Stanley messages. (And I do love Andy Stanley!)
July 9, 2015
After reading the last page of this book I’m speechless, pondering all that I had read. Where do I begin to tell you the hope this book released in my heart, mind and emotions. The thing I LOVE about Christian Fiction is the fact that it can take you places you’d never go on your own. It can help you explain things that are just unexplainable, and put you in situations where you can see GRACE and LOVE in a very real way.
The opening scene read like the movie Mr. Destiny, where a distraught man heads to a run-down restaurant, meets a man that knows everything about him, then the distraught man makes a wish and lives his dream. No magic here -- only a book filled with hope in the future and a way to live life to the fullest. What does a real loving community of believers look like? You’ll meet Andy, Hank, Carlos and Cynthia, just to name a few of the fun loving, real characters; who tell it like it is. It’s refreshing and at times painful to read because I found them talking right to my heart!
Here’s a clip from the book—Steven and Andy first meet—he asks Andy a question.
” It starts young doesn’t it? They get hurt.”
Andy says, “All those people down there, walking and driving around, confused—angry, hurt, wounded, afraid, resentful—they all have something in common.”
“What’s that?” Steven says.
“…they’ve learned to protect themselves. Now they’re adults and they’re discovering this cruel secret: they can’t protect themselves. In fact, the last person who can protect them is them.” Wow!!
Bo’s Café helps me identify some of the lies that I believed about myself, some of the old tapes I had playing in my head until Jesus set me free. Andy takes it a little deeper in a very simple but profound way. It think this is a must read for everyone. I know that I’m going to be reading this book again and again, giving it out to my family and friends. I’m so thankful to the publisher for giving me a review copy of this book.
Disclosure of Material Connection:
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”
Nora St.Laurent
The Book Club Network www.bookfun.org
The Book Club Network blog www.psalm516.blogspot.com
Book Fun Magazine www.bookfunmagazine.com
The opening scene read like the movie Mr. Destiny, where a distraught man heads to a run-down restaurant, meets a man that knows everything about him, then the distraught man makes a wish and lives his dream. No magic here -- only a book filled with hope in the future and a way to live life to the fullest. What does a real loving community of believers look like? You’ll meet Andy, Hank, Carlos and Cynthia, just to name a few of the fun loving, real characters; who tell it like it is. It’s refreshing and at times painful to read because I found them talking right to my heart!
Here’s a clip from the book—Steven and Andy first meet—he asks Andy a question.
” It starts young doesn’t it? They get hurt.”
Andy says, “All those people down there, walking and driving around, confused—angry, hurt, wounded, afraid, resentful—they all have something in common.”
“What’s that?” Steven says.
“…they’ve learned to protect themselves. Now they’re adults and they’re discovering this cruel secret: they can’t protect themselves. In fact, the last person who can protect them is them.” Wow!!
Bo’s Café helps me identify some of the lies that I believed about myself, some of the old tapes I had playing in my head until Jesus set me free. Andy takes it a little deeper in a very simple but profound way. It think this is a must read for everyone. I know that I’m going to be reading this book again and again, giving it out to my family and friends. I’m so thankful to the publisher for giving me a review copy of this book.
Disclosure of Material Connection:
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”
Nora St.Laurent
The Book Club Network www.bookfun.org
The Book Club Network blog www.psalm516.blogspot.com
Book Fun Magazine www.bookfunmagazine.com
November 6, 2009
Reviewed by Grandma Bev for TeensReadToo.com
Steven Kerner and his wife live the good life, but things sometimes get edgy, and one night his anger explodes. His wife, Lindsey, kicks him out, and he retreats to a hotel. Then Andy Monroe extends a hand of friendship, but Steven is not trusting of that friendship, and carries a massive chip on his shoulder.
Lindsey does not accept Steven's apology. She just doesn't feel that he will be able to change on a deep enough level without outside help. Help that Steven is reluctant to seek.
Andy introduces Steven to a group that meets at Bo's Cafe who try to steer Steven to an acceptance of God's grace, and to allow himself to trust. They each have a story to tell in their conversations with each other, much like an Alcoholic's Anonymous group.
Steven does eventually begin to unravel his pent-up feelings, and learn to cope with life without temper blow-ups.
Windblown Media published THE SHACK, which turned into a publishing phenomenon, and this is their follow-up inspirational book, designed to encourage and challenge readers who struggle with problems in their personal life.
It is a message that we can all profit from. It teaches you to give, receive, and to trust, opening yourself up to self-realization, and helping you to experience God's grace.
Steven Kerner and his wife live the good life, but things sometimes get edgy, and one night his anger explodes. His wife, Lindsey, kicks him out, and he retreats to a hotel. Then Andy Monroe extends a hand of friendship, but Steven is not trusting of that friendship, and carries a massive chip on his shoulder.
Lindsey does not accept Steven's apology. She just doesn't feel that he will be able to change on a deep enough level without outside help. Help that Steven is reluctant to seek.
Andy introduces Steven to a group that meets at Bo's Cafe who try to steer Steven to an acceptance of God's grace, and to allow himself to trust. They each have a story to tell in their conversations with each other, much like an Alcoholic's Anonymous group.
Steven does eventually begin to unravel his pent-up feelings, and learn to cope with life without temper blow-ups.
Windblown Media published THE SHACK, which turned into a publishing phenomenon, and this is their follow-up inspirational book, designed to encourage and challenge readers who struggle with problems in their personal life.
It is a message that we can all profit from. It teaches you to give, receive, and to trust, opening yourself up to self-realization, and helping you to experience God's grace.
June 20, 2024
Very important message, but the way it’s written is just awful. The whole book was very difficult to get through … like eating chalk.
September 15, 2017
What a wonderful story! Great narrative illustrating the power of effective mentoring. Very real-world and praxrical.
Of course I differ with the author's ecclesiology, but it was not overly critical of the Baptist position and it was easily overlooked. Highly recommend it!
Of course I differ with the author's ecclesiology, but it was not overly critical of the Baptist position and it was easily overlooked. Highly recommend it!
April 30, 2024
While this is a fictional novel, the story feels so real and relatable. Truths about the importance of genuine community and the strength of Gods grace. I’ve never gotten emotional reading a book before, until this one!
February 17, 2025
A must read!
This book is about being really REAL and open with those you love. It is about how we can share God's love best when we ate humble. This is a book to be read and re-read.
This book is about being really REAL and open with those you love. It is about how we can share God's love best when we ate humble. This is a book to be read and re-read.
May 9, 2024
Great book. Was hard to put down.
January 15, 2025
What’s story!
April 27, 2012
Who has your back?
Bo's Café is a book written in a growing genre of reality fiction that seeks to illustrate and demonstrate what in the past has often been presented as doctrinal teaching. Windblown Media is a recently established publishing venture that was formed to publish The Shack after it had been rejected by about 14 religious and 14 secular publishers. Since that time, "The Shack" has gone on to be nothing less than a phenomenon that has taken on a viral life of its own through word-of-mouth based upon the impact it has had upon the lives of those reading it.
Bo's Café is not "The Shack", nor is it intended to be. Where The Shack is a parable that provides a message about the nature of God and how misunderstanding that nature can lead to many of the elements of organized and institutionalized religion that turns so many people of and away from this misrepresented God, Bo's Café carries on with a related but distinctly different theme. Bo's Café demonstrates through a realistic fictional account how a real Grace community works to bring about healing and restoration in the life and marriage of it's primary character. What's is distinct about it, is while the book is not to any measure I can observe "anti-church"; the organized church plays a very minimal role in what takes place within the account. This is not about programs, meetings, hierarchical dispensations from on high or anything else that might typically come to mind with how followers of Jesus show love and support to one another. This is about real community where people are invited by other imperfect people to drop the masks, be real, be honest and what is more, trust that within the context of safe and genuine relationship, that baring ones soul and allowing others to see the "crap" in our lives will result in us being loved and accepted more, not shunned and rejected.
The authors of Bo's Café have collaborated before in the past in a more didactic manner, teaching how grace communities can be formed. They can happen within the context of an organized church, but the focus here is decidedly different. Where organized religion, at least as it is manifested in the west and in particular in the evangelical tradition, typically seeks to "teach" its way through any problem with linear steps (eg 10 Steps to Solve Any Problem in Life You'll Ever Face) and where teaching doesn't work, then a counselor, elder or Pastor, then steps in with authority to assist "fixing" a person with the assumption clear that they themselves have already arrived, Bo's Café models a community of Grace where on some issues some friends may be ahead on one path and able to help, but the grace flows in both directions as those loved, accepted and helped without judgment in one area may just return the favor in another area.
Many things in life are better "caught" than "taught". Bo's Café pitches up a winner that tells an entertaining, compelling and realistic tale that is not difficult at all to see played out in many contexts of our own lives, and shows how genuine love and grace can be experienced. Everyone should be fortunate enough to find an Andy, a Christine, a Carlos or a Steven in their lives. Better yet, everyone should be fortunate enough to be one.
Bo's Café stands on it own. It provides a compelling and at times a very emotionally touching tale of love and grace and does it without clichés, arrogance, judgment or falling into the all too common rut of "niceness" to which Christian Fiction often falls prey. Make no mistake, this is fiction, but more importantly, Bo's Café is a sorely needed and timely truth that will open many eyes to what they've been longing for, but just couldn't adequately describe.
5 stars.
Bart Breen
Bo's Café is a book written in a growing genre of reality fiction that seeks to illustrate and demonstrate what in the past has often been presented as doctrinal teaching. Windblown Media is a recently established publishing venture that was formed to publish The Shack after it had been rejected by about 14 religious and 14 secular publishers. Since that time, "The Shack" has gone on to be nothing less than a phenomenon that has taken on a viral life of its own through word-of-mouth based upon the impact it has had upon the lives of those reading it.
Bo's Café is not "The Shack", nor is it intended to be. Where The Shack is a parable that provides a message about the nature of God and how misunderstanding that nature can lead to many of the elements of organized and institutionalized religion that turns so many people of and away from this misrepresented God, Bo's Café carries on with a related but distinctly different theme. Bo's Café demonstrates through a realistic fictional account how a real Grace community works to bring about healing and restoration in the life and marriage of it's primary character. What's is distinct about it, is while the book is not to any measure I can observe "anti-church"; the organized church plays a very minimal role in what takes place within the account. This is not about programs, meetings, hierarchical dispensations from on high or anything else that might typically come to mind with how followers of Jesus show love and support to one another. This is about real community where people are invited by other imperfect people to drop the masks, be real, be honest and what is more, trust that within the context of safe and genuine relationship, that baring ones soul and allowing others to see the "crap" in our lives will result in us being loved and accepted more, not shunned and rejected.
The authors of Bo's Café have collaborated before in the past in a more didactic manner, teaching how grace communities can be formed. They can happen within the context of an organized church, but the focus here is decidedly different. Where organized religion, at least as it is manifested in the west and in particular in the evangelical tradition, typically seeks to "teach" its way through any problem with linear steps (eg 10 Steps to Solve Any Problem in Life You'll Ever Face) and where teaching doesn't work, then a counselor, elder or Pastor, then steps in with authority to assist "fixing" a person with the assumption clear that they themselves have already arrived, Bo's Café models a community of Grace where on some issues some friends may be ahead on one path and able to help, but the grace flows in both directions as those loved, accepted and helped without judgment in one area may just return the favor in another area.
Many things in life are better "caught" than "taught". Bo's Café pitches up a winner that tells an entertaining, compelling and realistic tale that is not difficult at all to see played out in many contexts of our own lives, and shows how genuine love and grace can be experienced. Everyone should be fortunate enough to find an Andy, a Christine, a Carlos or a Steven in their lives. Better yet, everyone should be fortunate enough to be one.
Bo's Café stands on it own. It provides a compelling and at times a very emotionally touching tale of love and grace and does it without clichés, arrogance, judgment or falling into the all too common rut of "niceness" to which Christian Fiction often falls prey. Make no mistake, this is fiction, but more importantly, Bo's Café is a sorely needed and timely truth that will open many eyes to what they've been longing for, but just couldn't adequately describe.
5 stars.
Bart Breen
February 9, 2018
I couldn't put this book down, read it in 3 days. That is just NOT the pace at which I read books. I enjoy reading, but it just takes me longer than most.
Having said that, 1) the story was compelling, 2) we rise and fall based on our definitions and his point of view from which he defined some pretty common words was strong, 3) it felt real and true to life.
Here is my net out in three categories. Great quotes from the book, great definitions of some common words, and what I'll take to use in my leadership of other men.
Great quotes from the book:
1. See if this fits: It’s like you are stumbling around in a dark room, bumping into furniture. After many experiences, you’ve learned to memorize paths around the pain. You think you’ve finally figured out how to navigate in the dark. You almost get used to doing life in the dark. Then the next day, week, month, maybe while you are sleeping, the furniture gets moved, and you slam your shin into an end table. And each time, with each new bruise, you lose more and more hope, more confidence, more send of purpose. You start reacting to pain more than anything else. You make decision based o what hurst least. You avoid stuff you know you should face. You valid interaction with people you suspect might be moving the furniture. Eventually that list grows to include a whole lotta people. And the worst part is that it feels like almost everyone else can see you tumbling around. It’s like they an al see the furniture. They might never tell you this, but you are pretty sure they know. They want to tell you they know. Some of your friends, family, and co workers have actually tried. They want to help but you don’t believe they can help.
2. It starts young, doesn’t it. People get hurt. Maybe they get hurt real bad early on. And if they’re not careful, they learn something that takes lifetime to unlearn. They learn to cover up, to protect themselves. They don’t know they are doing it.
3. A way in…has anyone ever had access to the real you? you’ve managed to keep everyone at the surface level for a long time.
4. We present only what we think we can control, we hide the rest.
5. And until you let someone sine a light into your room, nothings gonna change. Life gonna get more painful, more confusing, and darker.
6. I have no desire to be your fixer. I want to be your friend. And friends learn to trust each other with their stuff so they can stand together. So the more you can let me know the real YOU and the more I can let you know the real ME, the sooner we can begin to sort things out.
7. In reality, we discover that we still know very well how to hurt others and make crappy life choices. And this realization breaks our hearts.
8. Each of us walks with a profound limp, some have just learned to hide their limps better.
9. "I’m like a sixth grader hiding magazines from my mom!”
10. Bo’s - “It’s like I got a picture of what things could be like.” Preferred future.
11. Greatest lie is that we can fix ourselves.
12. It is NOT about behavior modification!!!!!
13. What drives your need to be right all the time?
1. A deep, innate fear that you aren’t enough an others might see it.
14. If you want to someday start to get past that tendency to blow up, there is a really only one solution. You’ll have to keep admitting it and let God and some humans who love you begin to protect you. That’s truths’ all you got.
15. If you’ll keep telling the truth, regardless of how embarrassing, it’ll have a profound effect on you. It’l begin to free and heal you.
16. Everyone of us at this table has stories of failure and immaturity like yours. Remember, all of us are learning to be convinced that if we have a safe place, where the worst about us can be known, the cycle of shame from old dead issues can be broken.
17. There is a great secret payoff for all those who give others permission to see behind the mask. You find out the thing you feared the most never comes true. In fact, the opposite happens. You actually get to be known.
18. When we are hidden, everybody was paying or it. Even if they didn’t know it.Everybody was being robbed of the best o who I was.
19. Sometimes you you just need someone who’ll listen to point you in His direction.
20. Be on the intentional look out for the motives behind the behavior
21. I want to be the same cat in a hotel on the road as I am praying in front of people on Sunday.
22. Everything gets strange in the vacuum of privacy
Vocabulary:
1. Trust - A right response to another’s love
2. Shame - takes a particular violation or several violations from your past, something really got to you, and convinces you the person you felt like in the violation is how you’ll always be, for the rest of your life.
3. Inferior vs superior
1. Inferior - they blame themselves and see themselves as the reason for most of their trouble.
2. Superior - they blame others and sees them as the reason for all their problems.
4. Shame - carrying a deep sense of inadequacy that drives us to not fail at all costs.
5. Grace - gift the nonreligious can accept. They’re the only ones who can get it. They’re the only ones who can use it. Religious folks see grace as soft. So they keep trying to manage their junk with their own wallopower and tenacity. Nothing defines religion quite as well as a bunch of people trying to do impossible tasks with limited power while bluffing to themselves that its working.
6. Humility - Owning up to something deeper than your behavior
7. Repentance - isn’t doing something about your failure. Repentance is admitting you can’t do anything about your failure. It’s not just agreeing you’ve done something wrong; it’s admitting you can’t do what needs to be done to make it right. God waits and yearns of that moment with everything in Him.
8. Integrity is proven when you admit what you cannot do and honor what you say you can.
9. Pretending - hiding my failures from them.
LDG Group Foundation:
1. [LDG] Healthy protector:
1. Sees saints who still sometimes fail vs sinners trying to be saints
2. Nothing remains hidden vs getting fixed
3. The value of no hiding is placed above getting the other person better
4. Establishing a healthy relationship so the issues can be solved vs getting your issues resolved.
2. [LDG]What is safe?
1. If safe is just nice and sweet, where everybody’s smiling at you and nobody’s ever dealing with nothing, thats not safe. That’s a retirement home. I like nice. Push come to show, nice wins. But nice ain’t enough for safe. A safe place isn’t a soft place.
2. Safe is being loved more for revealing your crap, not less
3. Safe is where I can tell you my garbage so you can enter in and stand with me in the solution of it.
3. [LDG] someone has to break the pattern if anythings going to change.
4. [LDG] What if there was safe enough place where you could tell the worst about yourself and not be loved or respected less, but more???? You know what happens. Hidden junk we’ve been carrying around for years begins to melt away. People come alive. They start to discover who they really are. They start doing good stuff with their lives. They find their furniture. The stop needing to be right. They stop trying to fix their symptoms, and stop pushing everyone away. They get loved.
5. [LDG] If I give you the answer, you presume you get it, that you have it all figured out. I want you to get it on our won so you’ll see that what you’ve previously believed won’t get you where you need to go.
6. [LDG] Warning to LDG leaders. Could be a great lead in phrase before I go transparent with my story.
1. A well-dressed person of maturity like myself can give the false impression of being above the common faults and failings of others. So, I guess it’s my turn.
7. [LDG] What if god brought you here to meet an old[er] guy who may be just a little further down the road than you?
Having said that, 1) the story was compelling, 2) we rise and fall based on our definitions and his point of view from which he defined some pretty common words was strong, 3) it felt real and true to life.
Here is my net out in three categories. Great quotes from the book, great definitions of some common words, and what I'll take to use in my leadership of other men.
Great quotes from the book:
1. See if this fits: It’s like you are stumbling around in a dark room, bumping into furniture. After many experiences, you’ve learned to memorize paths around the pain. You think you’ve finally figured out how to navigate in the dark. You almost get used to doing life in the dark. Then the next day, week, month, maybe while you are sleeping, the furniture gets moved, and you slam your shin into an end table. And each time, with each new bruise, you lose more and more hope, more confidence, more send of purpose. You start reacting to pain more than anything else. You make decision based o what hurst least. You avoid stuff you know you should face. You valid interaction with people you suspect might be moving the furniture. Eventually that list grows to include a whole lotta people. And the worst part is that it feels like almost everyone else can see you tumbling around. It’s like they an al see the furniture. They might never tell you this, but you are pretty sure they know. They want to tell you they know. Some of your friends, family, and co workers have actually tried. They want to help but you don’t believe they can help.
2. It starts young, doesn’t it. People get hurt. Maybe they get hurt real bad early on. And if they’re not careful, they learn something that takes lifetime to unlearn. They learn to cover up, to protect themselves. They don’t know they are doing it.
3. A way in…has anyone ever had access to the real you? you’ve managed to keep everyone at the surface level for a long time.
4. We present only what we think we can control, we hide the rest.
5. And until you let someone sine a light into your room, nothings gonna change. Life gonna get more painful, more confusing, and darker.
6. I have no desire to be your fixer. I want to be your friend. And friends learn to trust each other with their stuff so they can stand together. So the more you can let me know the real YOU and the more I can let you know the real ME, the sooner we can begin to sort things out.
7. In reality, we discover that we still know very well how to hurt others and make crappy life choices. And this realization breaks our hearts.
8. Each of us walks with a profound limp, some have just learned to hide their limps better.
9. "I’m like a sixth grader hiding magazines from my mom!”
10. Bo’s - “It’s like I got a picture of what things could be like.” Preferred future.
11. Greatest lie is that we can fix ourselves.
12. It is NOT about behavior modification!!!!!
13. What drives your need to be right all the time?
1. A deep, innate fear that you aren’t enough an others might see it.
14. If you want to someday start to get past that tendency to blow up, there is a really only one solution. You’ll have to keep admitting it and let God and some humans who love you begin to protect you. That’s truths’ all you got.
15. If you’ll keep telling the truth, regardless of how embarrassing, it’ll have a profound effect on you. It’l begin to free and heal you.
16. Everyone of us at this table has stories of failure and immaturity like yours. Remember, all of us are learning to be convinced that if we have a safe place, where the worst about us can be known, the cycle of shame from old dead issues can be broken.
17. There is a great secret payoff for all those who give others permission to see behind the mask. You find out the thing you feared the most never comes true. In fact, the opposite happens. You actually get to be known.
18. When we are hidden, everybody was paying or it. Even if they didn’t know it.Everybody was being robbed of the best o who I was.
19. Sometimes you you just need someone who’ll listen to point you in His direction.
20. Be on the intentional look out for the motives behind the behavior
21. I want to be the same cat in a hotel on the road as I am praying in front of people on Sunday.
22. Everything gets strange in the vacuum of privacy
Vocabulary:
1. Trust - A right response to another’s love
2. Shame - takes a particular violation or several violations from your past, something really got to you, and convinces you the person you felt like in the violation is how you’ll always be, for the rest of your life.
3. Inferior vs superior
1. Inferior - they blame themselves and see themselves as the reason for most of their trouble.
2. Superior - they blame others and sees them as the reason for all their problems.
4. Shame - carrying a deep sense of inadequacy that drives us to not fail at all costs.
5. Grace - gift the nonreligious can accept. They’re the only ones who can get it. They’re the only ones who can use it. Religious folks see grace as soft. So they keep trying to manage their junk with their own wallopower and tenacity. Nothing defines religion quite as well as a bunch of people trying to do impossible tasks with limited power while bluffing to themselves that its working.
6. Humility - Owning up to something deeper than your behavior
7. Repentance - isn’t doing something about your failure. Repentance is admitting you can’t do anything about your failure. It’s not just agreeing you’ve done something wrong; it’s admitting you can’t do what needs to be done to make it right. God waits and yearns of that moment with everything in Him.
8. Integrity is proven when you admit what you cannot do and honor what you say you can.
9. Pretending - hiding my failures from them.
LDG Group Foundation:
1. [LDG] Healthy protector:
1. Sees saints who still sometimes fail vs sinners trying to be saints
2. Nothing remains hidden vs getting fixed
3. The value of no hiding is placed above getting the other person better
4. Establishing a healthy relationship so the issues can be solved vs getting your issues resolved.
2. [LDG]What is safe?
1. If safe is just nice and sweet, where everybody’s smiling at you and nobody’s ever dealing with nothing, thats not safe. That’s a retirement home. I like nice. Push come to show, nice wins. But nice ain’t enough for safe. A safe place isn’t a soft place.
2. Safe is being loved more for revealing your crap, not less
3. Safe is where I can tell you my garbage so you can enter in and stand with me in the solution of it.
3. [LDG] someone has to break the pattern if anythings going to change.
4. [LDG] What if there was safe enough place where you could tell the worst about yourself and not be loved or respected less, but more???? You know what happens. Hidden junk we’ve been carrying around for years begins to melt away. People come alive. They start to discover who they really are. They start doing good stuff with their lives. They find their furniture. The stop needing to be right. They stop trying to fix their symptoms, and stop pushing everyone away. They get loved.
5. [LDG] If I give you the answer, you presume you get it, that you have it all figured out. I want you to get it on our won so you’ll see that what you’ve previously believed won’t get you where you need to go.
6. [LDG] Warning to LDG leaders. Could be a great lead in phrase before I go transparent with my story.
1. A well-dressed person of maturity like myself can give the false impression of being above the common faults and failings of others. So, I guess it’s my turn.
7. [LDG] What if god brought you here to meet an old[er] guy who may be just a little further down the road than you?
September 4, 2009
"A safe place isn’t a soft place.”
Have some unresolved conflict in your life messing up all your relationships? Feeling exasperated because you give it your best to fix the stuff you carry around but it never really gets resolved?
You might identify with Steven Kerner, the main character in Bruce McNicol, Bill Thrall, and John Lynch’s new novel “Bo’s Cafe’“.
Steven Kerner’s living the dream with his executive level job, beautiful wife and daughter, and even finds time to serve on Boards for charitable organizations. To look at his life, you’d think the guys got it all.
But wait, if this kind of life is what we all aspire to have then why is Steven Kerner calling the Marriott home and his wife contemplating divorce?
Enter Andy Monroe.
At first glance Steven sizes Andy up as an old Jimmy Buffet groupie with his Dodgers ball cap, ragged blue jeans and loud Hawaiian shirt. Looks can be and often are deceiving.
Steven is compelled to allow a friendship to develop mainly because Andy is a friend of his fathers. What follows is novel about true friendship which delves deep down to the heart of all our issues.
Andy, along with several of his friend’s, provide Steven with conversations that begin to shape his view of himself and of all others around him. The big question is whether he will accept the Truth and begin to live freely for the first time in his life.
I won’t give the main storyline away, suffice it to say that you will identify with the issues, your mind may be opened to many of our human ‘defense mechanism’, and perhaps you may find the answer you’ve been looking for all your life.
“Safe is a place where you can get out the worst thing about you
and they don’t run you off, talk you down, or head for the hills….
Safe is where you are loved more for revealing your ‘problems’, not less.”
I recommend this novel highly, for the theme, for the revelation of the process and for the colorful characters that come in and out of the story.
Have some unresolved conflict in your life messing up all your relationships? Feeling exasperated because you give it your best to fix the stuff you carry around but it never really gets resolved?
You might identify with Steven Kerner, the main character in Bruce McNicol, Bill Thrall, and John Lynch’s new novel “Bo’s Cafe’“.
Steven Kerner’s living the dream with his executive level job, beautiful wife and daughter, and even finds time to serve on Boards for charitable organizations. To look at his life, you’d think the guys got it all.
But wait, if this kind of life is what we all aspire to have then why is Steven Kerner calling the Marriott home and his wife contemplating divorce?
Enter Andy Monroe.
At first glance Steven sizes Andy up as an old Jimmy Buffet groupie with his Dodgers ball cap, ragged blue jeans and loud Hawaiian shirt. Looks can be and often are deceiving.
Steven is compelled to allow a friendship to develop mainly because Andy is a friend of his fathers. What follows is novel about true friendship which delves deep down to the heart of all our issues.
Andy, along with several of his friend’s, provide Steven with conversations that begin to shape his view of himself and of all others around him. The big question is whether he will accept the Truth and begin to live freely for the first time in his life.
I won’t give the main storyline away, suffice it to say that you will identify with the issues, your mind may be opened to many of our human ‘defense mechanism’, and perhaps you may find the answer you’ve been looking for all your life.
“Safe is a place where you can get out the worst thing about you
and they don’t run you off, talk you down, or head for the hills….
Safe is where you are loved more for revealing your ‘problems’, not less.”
I recommend this novel highly, for the theme, for the revelation of the process and for the colorful characters that come in and out of the story.
December 31, 2011
I HATED this book. The author came to my church and I really liked what he had to say, but the novel is SO poorly written. Although I agree with a lot of the base elements (friendship, accountability, etc.) the characters are ridiculously simplified to the point that I felt like it was sexist and the solutions the author brought to the problem (you know...go sit down and chat with people at Bo's Cafe and all will be well) made this a novel that I highly recommend you skip. Boo.
July 16, 2010
I really enjoyed this book. While it is fiction, it mirrored what many of us from the Overcomers group at our church experienced in community. I listened to it a second time, just to determine if I missed something that might be relevant or applicable to my journey.
January 10, 2014
Loved this book so much I bought several copies to give to friends and supporters.
I corresponded with the authors about the book and they were willing to sign my copies.
These guys live the grace they write about...
I corresponded with the authors about the book and they were willing to sign my copies.
These guys live the grace they write about...
March 7, 2019
Unexpectedly amazing
I’m not normally a person who reads novels… in fact, prior to finishing Bo’s Cafe, I honestly believe it’s been over a decade since the last time I read one (or even listened to one) from beginning to end. But this book got to me in a very deep way, and hit some profound truths. I see so much of myself and my own struggles in the protagonist of the story, Steven. There were many points where the book got uncomfortably real for me, to the point I had to put it down and take a breather before continuing. There were also many points where I just had to stop and weep, as profound truths became apparent to me.
I won’t go into a summary of the story, because really the best way to experience it is to just read it for yourself. Or listen to the audiobook if you prefer — the narrator did a fantastic job during the portions I listened to it.
Clearly, the authors of this book have drawn from experience in penning this story, because this is not the kind of thing that a simple imagination can dream up. This story is born out of real life, that faced real struggles, and found real authentic community and the amazing grace of Jesus.
In church life today, it’s easy to talk “about” authentic community, but this story paints a picture of what it could actually look like. I agree with Carlos (one of the characters in the story): this is the kind of thing the church needs more of. We put up walls and barriers around each other so easily, even as Christians— no, *especially* as Christians. We feel like we need to perform to keep up God’s love and each other’s respect, even though Jesus keeps reminding us He already performed perfectly on our behalf. We fear vulnerability, because we don’t want to appear weak. We falsely believe we have enough of the answers to fix ourselves. But we don’t, and this book shows it well. God has created us to be a community faith, centered around the completed work of Christ for us.
I’m grateful for this book, and that God arranged the circumstances in my life that led to me reading it at just the appropriate time I needed to.
I’m not normally a person who reads novels… in fact, prior to finishing Bo’s Cafe, I honestly believe it’s been over a decade since the last time I read one (or even listened to one) from beginning to end. But this book got to me in a very deep way, and hit some profound truths. I see so much of myself and my own struggles in the protagonist of the story, Steven. There were many points where the book got uncomfortably real for me, to the point I had to put it down and take a breather before continuing. There were also many points where I just had to stop and weep, as profound truths became apparent to me.
I won’t go into a summary of the story, because really the best way to experience it is to just read it for yourself. Or listen to the audiobook if you prefer — the narrator did a fantastic job during the portions I listened to it.
Clearly, the authors of this book have drawn from experience in penning this story, because this is not the kind of thing that a simple imagination can dream up. This story is born out of real life, that faced real struggles, and found real authentic community and the amazing grace of Jesus.
In church life today, it’s easy to talk “about” authentic community, but this story paints a picture of what it could actually look like. I agree with Carlos (one of the characters in the story): this is the kind of thing the church needs more of. We put up walls and barriers around each other so easily, even as Christians— no, *especially* as Christians. We feel like we need to perform to keep up God’s love and each other’s respect, even though Jesus keeps reminding us He already performed perfectly on our behalf. We fear vulnerability, because we don’t want to appear weak. We falsely believe we have enough of the answers to fix ourselves. But we don’t, and this book shows it well. God has created us to be a community faith, centered around the completed work of Christ for us.
I’m grateful for this book, and that God arranged the circumstances in my life that led to me reading it at just the appropriate time I needed to.
February 12, 2024
I have had my eye on this book for a bit. I found it today at my local book fair Decided to take a chance and read it since I have come to know the authors. As much as I wanted to love this book I had some trouble with the writing. I’m a pretty fast reader I can sit down and read a 300 page book with in a few hours. This one which is 240 took me several hours to read. At first I thought it’s because it is different from what I normally read. It’s more impactful. But then I thought I read a book the other day with the same amount of pages same amount of meaning and thought provoking text. I read that in a few hours.
So what is different with this book. I realized that it is how the story was told it was flat when it comes with building the story. The message is spot on with community and how we need to take our masks off and be vulnerable. But Steven was hard to get to know. Obviously he keeps people at a distance but he’s the story teller for the most part could have some more dialogue for us to understand where he is coming from.
I love Andy I don’t know why but i imagined Chris farley playing him. I loved how he can get someone to trust him and be so vulnerable.
I’m glad at the end Lindsay sees how she is impacting Steven with her reactions. But I wish she could just let Steven finish a sentence when he’s explaining why he’s asking her at Bo’s how he’s feeling she definitely was poking the bear and got upset when it bit her. Cynthia seemed to level her out.
I feel like they could have laid out the story better somethings could have been left out. Little more getting to know Steven. And why is it now a few years not the whole time they have been together is this happening. I know they said that he’s been using anger to control and it’s just not working now. But if it was how he worked why now. Jennifer is 11 and means that she was about 8 or so when this started why the sudden change
So what is different with this book. I realized that it is how the story was told it was flat when it comes with building the story. The message is spot on with community and how we need to take our masks off and be vulnerable. But Steven was hard to get to know. Obviously he keeps people at a distance but he’s the story teller for the most part could have some more dialogue for us to understand where he is coming from.
I love Andy I don’t know why but i imagined Chris farley playing him. I loved how he can get someone to trust him and be so vulnerable.
I’m glad at the end Lindsay sees how she is impacting Steven with her reactions. But I wish she could just let Steven finish a sentence when he’s explaining why he’s asking her at Bo’s how he’s feeling she definitely was poking the bear and got upset when it bit her. Cynthia seemed to level her out.
I feel like they could have laid out the story better somethings could have been left out. Little more getting to know Steven. And why is it now a few years not the whole time they have been together is this happening. I know they said that he’s been using anger to control and it’s just not working now. But if it was how he worked why now. Jennifer is 11 and means that she was about 8 or so when this started why the sudden change
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 19, 2017
This book didn't have the best writing, and even though I listened to the audible version, it was still a little rough to endure. But, the message in this book was powerful. I'm glad my mentors chose this book to be the first to read as we embark on our nine-month mentorship program. Most Christian fiction, or Christian media in general, can be a little rough around the edges and a little "bible thumper" but Bo's Cafe didn't have any of that!
It showed the necessity of community, of feeling like you can be yourself with other Christians, and the necessity of vulnerability. We're so focused on feeling as if we need to be perfect, to never show our flaws to the world, but only until we're open and honest about our mistakes and imperfections was we set out to change ourselves for the better and accepting of others. It's easy for us to admit that we're not perfect; it's not always nice to be reminded of, but we have a hard time remembering that other people struggle just like we do. We need to give other's the liberty to grow, just like we give ourselves that same liberty.
Look past the writing and look deeper into the message and you'll find God speaking to you, and you'll find your "safe place".
It showed the necessity of community, of feeling like you can be yourself with other Christians, and the necessity of vulnerability. We're so focused on feeling as if we need to be perfect, to never show our flaws to the world, but only until we're open and honest about our mistakes and imperfections was we set out to change ourselves for the better and accepting of others. It's easy for us to admit that we're not perfect; it's not always nice to be reminded of, but we have a hard time remembering that other people struggle just like we do. We need to give other's the liberty to grow, just like we give ourselves that same liberty.
Look past the writing and look deeper into the message and you'll find God speaking to you, and you'll find your "safe place".
October 28, 2018
We read this in men's group as part of a Radical Mentoring program. Bo's Cafe attempts to present in story form some of the ideas behind the need of all men to have true male friends in their lives, friends that one can be real to and share the secrets of their struggles.
The story of Steven and Andy present this in a satisfactory way. Steven has anger issues and is heading for divorce, and Andy, an old friend of Steven's father, dares to intervene in a radical yet loving way. There is no magical "Touched By An Angel" ending here, just real advice for real people from real people.
As a piece of literature I felt it dragged in places and found some of the examples strained to create tension. And the characters were obviously very rich, which I felt may cause many readers to not be able to relate. Yet,given the purpose of the book, these were admittedly secondary considerations of the authors to their main message of radical mentoring. Ultimately the success of this book should be judged on whether a story presented the ideas better than the typical bible study format. After reading I am still uncertain, yet I encourage you to give it a read if you are interested in the topic and want a departure from the usual format.
The story of Steven and Andy present this in a satisfactory way. Steven has anger issues and is heading for divorce, and Andy, an old friend of Steven's father, dares to intervene in a radical yet loving way. There is no magical "Touched By An Angel" ending here, just real advice for real people from real people.
As a piece of literature I felt it dragged in places and found some of the examples strained to create tension. And the characters were obviously very rich, which I felt may cause many readers to not be able to relate. Yet,given the purpose of the book, these were admittedly secondary considerations of the authors to their main message of radical mentoring. Ultimately the success of this book should be judged on whether a story presented the ideas better than the typical bible study format. After reading I am still uncertain, yet I encourage you to give it a read if you are interested in the topic and want a departure from the usual format.
October 4, 2018
Though fiction, this book is so much more realistic and inspirational than many stories because the protagonist continues to struggle with his anger and sometimes fails even after multiple sincere apologies and extra chances. This is not a "they lived happily ever after" story... it's an "I'm committed to make this work because I made a vow," story. This is about real-life and the protagonist's struggle could have easily been any other issue besides anger, and the story still works. So, naturally, as you read it, you can see yourself in the role of the character who keeps messing up, but whom also continues to get back up and give it another shot. This is the personification of Proverbs 24:16. This is not a story about being able to finally fix it yourself. This is a story about our need for grace.
And very similar to Andy Andrews' "The Noticer," this story features a mysterious and wise old sage who spends his time mentoring others and making a difference in the lives of those he comes into contact with. Because this book reminded me so much of "The Noticer," I found it only fitting that the wise old sage's name in this book is... Andy.
And very similar to Andy Andrews' "The Noticer," this story features a mysterious and wise old sage who spends his time mentoring others and making a difference in the lives of those he comes into contact with. Because this book reminded me so much of "The Noticer," I found it only fitting that the wise old sage's name in this book is... Andy.
July 15, 2019
Though fiction, this book is so much more realistic and inspirational than many stories because the protagonist continues to struggle with his anger and sometimes fails even after multiple sincere apologies and extra chances. This is not a "they lived happily ever after" story... it's an "I'm committed to make this work because I made a vow," story. This is about real-life and the protagonist's struggle could have easily been any other issue besides anger, and the story still works. So, naturally, as you read it, you can see yourself in the role of the character who keeps messing up, but whom also continues to get back up and give it another shot. This is the personification of Proverbs 24:16. This is not a story about being able to finally fix it yourself. This is a story about our need for grace.
And very similar to Andy Andrews' "The Noticer," this story features a mysterious and wise old sage who spends his time mentoring others and making a difference in the lives of those he comes into contact with. Because this book reminded me so much of "The Noticer," I found it only fitting that the wise old sage's name in this book is... Andy.
And very similar to Andy Andrews' "The Noticer," this story features a mysterious and wise old sage who spends his time mentoring others and making a difference in the lives of those he comes into contact with. Because this book reminded me so much of "The Noticer," I found it only fitting that the wise old sage's name in this book is... Andy.
December 14, 2017
A resource from a mentoring bibliography I developed for a Mentoring Project at my church--a really heart warming and convicting look at a unique way to mentor someone -- From the publisher: High-powered executive Steven Kerner is living the dream in southern California. But when his bottled pain ignites in anger one night, his wife kicks him out. Then an eccentric mystery man named Andy Monroe befriends Steven and begins unravelling his tightly wound world. Andy leads Steven through a series of frustrating and revealing encounters to repair his life through genuine friendship and the grace and love of a God who has been waiting for him to accept it. A story to challenge and encourage, BO'S CAFE is a model for all who struggle with unresolved problems and a performance-based life. Those who desire a fuller, more authentic way of living will find this journey of healing a restorative exploration of God's unbridled grace.
July 2, 2020
I enjoyed this book, acknowledging that it's really a non-fiction, advice-filled book, wrapped and thinly disguised as a novel. But that's OK, the device of the story of Stephen and Adam is a good one and in many ways interesting - as long as we allow ourselves to see ourselves in Stephen's mindset. The concept of needing to "fix" ourselves to save a marriage or (fill in the blank), rather than truly open up - to someone else, as a mentor, or more than one person - and be honest with ourselves about weaknesses, past shame, etc. Honestly, two specific paragraphs at the top of pages 155 and 164 (of paperback) made the read totally worth it in my book. Reading them out of context, probably not, so don't let those references act as Cliff Notes :) .
Reading this for men's group at church and has already fueled some interesting conversations.
Reading this for men's group at church and has already fueled some interesting conversations.
October 7, 2022
Bo's Cafe dramatizes what the church could be if we were real with each other and were willing to be vulnerable rather than putting on a Sunday morning mask. The focus is one man prone to outbursts of anger who has emotionally wounded his wife to point where she is ready to walk away. Thanks to a stranger who takes an interest and gives the gift of his time and his experience, the angry man begins to recognize the broken places inside himself which gave rise to his outbursts of anger. The overall message is that people need people and that God uses community and honesty to bring about healing. The novel portrays well that none of this is a quick fix. Healing only comes when we invest in each other for long haul and risk exposing our own brokenness.
December 11, 2020
Wow
I read this book in preparation to co-lead a men’s mentoring group through my church. I came in prepared for a story about an older man mentoring a younger man. I did not come into it prepared to have my own issues splayed out on the page before me. This book has profoundly touched me and my life. I wish I had a Bo’s Cafe I could visit. I see a lot of my character flaws in Steven. I pray that I will be able to better handle them as he learned to do, by giving them to God.
Read this book. If you think you need to, you do. If you don’t think you need to, you probably need it even more.
I read this book in preparation to co-lead a men’s mentoring group through my church. I came in prepared for a story about an older man mentoring a younger man. I did not come into it prepared to have my own issues splayed out on the page before me. This book has profoundly touched me and my life. I wish I had a Bo’s Cafe I could visit. I see a lot of my character flaws in Steven. I pray that I will be able to better handle them as he learned to do, by giving them to God.
Read this book. If you think you need to, you do. If you don’t think you need to, you probably need it even more.
April 23, 2021
I despised Steven for about half of this book and then once he finally got over himself I started to get into the story more. Originally I didn’t like this book very much but it’s hard to ignore the ending and how good of a job the authors did showing transformation and the impact of the themes found in this book. As scary as it is, it makes me want to seek vulnerability within myself and from others. To air out the dirty laundry so I can work toward it becoming clean. Like I said, I may have kinda hated some of the characters at times, but the lessons are undeniably important and worthwhile.
May 26, 2021
I was challenged to read this book for its content, and to look past the quality of its writing. I tried. I even finished it. But as a Christian and an English teacher, I'm having a hard time finding positive things to say about it. The underlying idea is nice-- even noteworthy and True-- but the execution is contrived and hollow. Rather than inspiring me, the book left me irritated and dissatisfied. I get to count it toward my Reading Challenge for the year, but that's basically the only worthwhile thing about "Bo's Café".
July 2, 2022
4.5/5
I had already read "The Cure" a few months ago and loved it so that may influence my experience reading "Bo's Cafe". I finished it in a day because I had a hard time putting it down. The way these authors write can feel a little cheesy at times but there is something that deeply resonates within me. The depiction of gut level honesty and how resistant we are to actually get there rings true in a lot of ways. They highlighted the role of shame very well too. I thought it was a great story too that didn't pull any punches or come across trite to me.
I had already read "The Cure" a few months ago and loved it so that may influence my experience reading "Bo's Cafe". I finished it in a day because I had a hard time putting it down. The way these authors write can feel a little cheesy at times but there is something that deeply resonates within me. The depiction of gut level honesty and how resistant we are to actually get there rings true in a lot of ways. They highlighted the role of shame very well too. I thought it was a great story too that didn't pull any punches or come across trite to me.
May 22, 2024
I did enjoy the main characters changes throughout the novel, but it was hard to understand what was happening at times. Maybe that was just me, but I do know that this book was meant to send a message of Jesus and his grace and how it can help those who are struggling. This gives me hope for my own life as I’ve definitely become distant from God and Jesus over the years and I hope to change this over time and grow my relationship with them again. This was an okay book that portrayed real problems in life.
August 16, 2017
Won't win an award for creative writing or character development and yet that's part of the point itself. This book is fantastic because it's so true. Not the characters but the realities they face given the pressures, shame, guilt, and performance we live with--without acknowledging them. Most important it gives a picture of amazing safe community... a place of grace in the face of your worst. Who doesn't need that?
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