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"Mom, Jason's Breathing on Me!": The Solution to Sibling Bickering
AT LAST—SOUND, PRACTICAL RELIEF FOR PARENTS WITH BATTLING KIDS!Imagine. You might never again have to hear the “Mommy, Ann drooled on me on purpose.” You could have the answer for every “It’s not fair!” your kids have ever whined at you. Constant sibling squabbling—and the ensuing demand that you pick a side, quick—can wear parents down and totally drain the fun right out of family life. Now in this groundbreaking book, Dr. Anthony Wolf offers a whole new strategy for coping. In a fresh, funny, and straightforward way, Dr. Wolf presents three essential rules for dealing with sibling arguments—rules that, if followed, completely remove the root causes of bickering. From teasing and hitting to rivalries and boundaries, Dr. Wolf addresses a wide range of issues, and he does it with humor and a pitch-perfect ear for actual kid/parent dialogue. This is a book about real children—who they are, what they want, why they act as they do, and what you can do to alleviate the strife between siblings.
- GenresParentingNonfiction
226 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 26, 2003
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
March 14, 2009
This book is seriously one of the best parenting books I've read so far. The advice makes sense, it works, and most importantly, he lays it out in the first chapter so you can start trying it out. I cannot stand these parenting books that have hundreds of pages of theory to get through before "the good part" aka what will actually help. We turn to these books in times of need, we need quick help!
Anyway, I also love that Wolf assumes you're doing a good job already. The tone of the book is very reassuring and upbeat, the dialogue between parents and children totally realistic. He knows how kids react to other failed discipline plans I've tried and that makes me trust him. The other very helpful aspect is his insights into sibling life, how they see each other and their parents as well as their place in the family. As an only child, it was very eye-opening and made sense. I will be rereading this one because it is already helping in our home.
Anyway, I also love that Wolf assumes you're doing a good job already. The tone of the book is very reassuring and upbeat, the dialogue between parents and children totally realistic. He knows how kids react to other failed discipline plans I've tried and that makes me trust him. The other very helpful aspect is his insights into sibling life, how they see each other and their parents as well as their place in the family. As an only child, it was very eye-opening and made sense. I will be rereading this one because it is already helping in our home.
December 20, 2021
One week in and we already have a lot less bickering!
February 11, 2012
This book had some really great advice!
The key point in this book is to remain neutral as often as humanly possible when it comes to bickering amongst your children. We all know this, but it can be very difficult not to get into the middle of such things; especially when the kids are trying to drag you in to it. This book offers excellent advice on how to ignore, when to intervene, and the good that will come of this practice.
Like most parenting books, it gets a little repetitive. The book could, and should, be pared down into a 3-4 page magazine article. I guess some people just like, or need, a ton of examples.
I like to think that the repetitiveness in parenting books is just habit from dealing with children!
The key point in this book is to remain neutral as often as humanly possible when it comes to bickering amongst your children. We all know this, but it can be very difficult not to get into the middle of such things; especially when the kids are trying to drag you in to it. This book offers excellent advice on how to ignore, when to intervene, and the good that will come of this practice.
Like most parenting books, it gets a little repetitive. The book could, and should, be pared down into a 3-4 page magazine article. I guess some people just like, or need, a ton of examples.
I like to think that the repetitiveness in parenting books is just habit from dealing with children!
January 13, 2012
I much preferred "Siblings Without Rivalry" as a helpful resource for sibling bickering.
This author's approach is much too hands-off, basically taking a stance of not getting involved and letting the kids battle things out on their own. I believe the job of a parent is to teach and guide interpersonal skills, not let the playground/bully mentality decide how interactions should go.
The book is also interspersed with foul language that could easily have been omitted while still getting the point across.
This author's approach is much too hands-off, basically taking a stance of not getting involved and letting the kids battle things out on their own. I believe the job of a parent is to teach and guide interpersonal skills, not let the playground/bully mentality decide how interactions should go.
The book is also interspersed with foul language that could easily have been omitted while still getting the point across.
January 13, 2012
1- Don't Take Sides
Separation-take them apart until they are calm. fair doesn't matter now, just do it fast.
IF there is threat of Harm- Immediately interviene and talk to offender: We DO NOT. That Harms we NEVER harm. (physical or emotional)
2- Act FAST (or Not at All) the second is starts to bother YOU (interupt you, distract you, etc)
The benefits of Bickering
3- Don't Listen in the heat of the moment (Would you like a hug? That must be frustrating. That sounds like a problem. I don't know what to say to you. Or say no more..)
Working it through on their own
Listen very well all other times, listen, talk, problem solve, but not during the issue, to not take sides, not to let them push something you said NO to.
Baby Self vs Adult Self
bullying happens in the baby self, it's okay
name calling happens in the baby self, it's okay
hitting happens in the baby self...maybe okay?
Separation-take them apart until they are calm. fair doesn't matter now, just do it fast.
IF there is threat of Harm- Immediately interviene and talk to offender: We DO NOT. That Harms we NEVER harm. (physical or emotional)
2- Act FAST (or Not at All) the second is starts to bother YOU (interupt you, distract you, etc)
The benefits of Bickering
3- Don't Listen in the heat of the moment (Would you like a hug? That must be frustrating. That sounds like a problem. I don't know what to say to you. Or say no more..)
Working it through on their own
Listen very well all other times, listen, talk, problem solve, but not during the issue, to not take sides, not to let them push something you said NO to.
Baby Self vs Adult Self
bullying happens in the baby self, it's okay
name calling happens in the baby self, it's okay
hitting happens in the baby self...maybe okay?
October 6, 2012
Below is my review from the first time I read this ... and yes, reading it again - apparently I needed a fresher!
First off, I would give this a 5 star rating if it weren't for all the foul language Dr Wolf chose to include. I don't see why on earth that was necessary.
But onto my impression of the book ~ it is really glowing!
I loved it. I honestly did not even realize how often I was being sucked into my children's daily bickering.
The author sets up vivid examples and gives detailed methods in
handling each one. Yet, it isn't too wordy or too long.
Very practical & I'm so thankful I read it!
First off, I would give this a 5 star rating if it weren't for all the foul language Dr Wolf chose to include. I don't see why on earth that was necessary.
But onto my impression of the book ~ it is really glowing!
I loved it. I honestly did not even realize how often I was being sucked into my children's daily bickering.
The author sets up vivid examples and gives detailed methods in
handling each one. Yet, it isn't too wordy or too long.
Very practical & I'm so thankful I read it!
June 23, 2009
I've been thinking lately that maybe now that I've been a mother for 8 years I should try actually reading some parenting books. This topic has been a huge irritation to me lately, so the title drew my attention right away. I was afraid it would be boring to sit and read this book, but it was really funny and easy to read and I could tell this guy had spent a lot of time around parents and kids. I don't expect any miracles, but I do think his suggestions were very helpful and it is always good to be reminded of things I can improve - it kind of re-energizes me. Maybe after practicing on my kids a while I will come back and raise or lower my rating - depending on how things go...
August 23, 2010
Would've given it 5 stars were it not for the foul language used in the simulated dialogue. I understand that a lot of teenagers and even (yikes!) kids use foul language...but I really think throwing the f word in was unnecessary.
Other than that, I really like the 3 simple rules stated in the beginning of the book. The rest of the book went through every possible scenario/"what if" that I could think of. Every time I'd think of another "what if" it'd show up in the pages of the book with specifics on how/when to implement the three rules. The psychology behind it was interesting and informative as well.
Other than that, I really like the 3 simple rules stated in the beginning of the book. The rest of the book went through every possible scenario/"what if" that I could think of. Every time I'd think of another "what if" it'd show up in the pages of the book with specifics on how/when to implement the three rules. The psychology behind it was interesting and informative as well.
March 24, 2013
This book has great ideas. It is a quick and easy read. I was warned by other reviewers that there was bad language in this book. It's just gratuitous. Maybe it is intended to be inclusive to more readers who might be disinclined to read a goody goody parenting book. Or maybe the author is just trying to be cool. But whatever the reason I hope you won't let this stop you from reading the book in its entirety. The reviewer who stopped reading because of the language surely missed out. Other points are made in the end. I learned something and this book changed my point of view about some things.
October 2, 2014
I think this book will prove very effective and has already helped in my home in the little time I have had to implement it. Although I found it a good book I was shocked and very disappointed in the fowl language used often in the example scenarios of sibling bickering. It was offensive and completely unnecessary. My children are not allowed to speak like that and I don't of any that are. I don't even speak like that to or about other adults.
In my opinion, the book would have been much better if appropriate language were used.
In my opinion, the book would have been much better if appropriate language were used.
October 11, 2009
I picked this up in the library (catchy title) in hopes of getting some good ideas. Intriguingly, he has explained why children suddenly need attention when the phone rings or their sibling needs your attention...so I'm hooked. I never could get through this, I'm afraid trashy novels won out, but the basic concepts seem good--although sometimes hard to put into practice (ie most bickering gets to me, so letting them work it out can be problemmatic).
December 24, 2009
Interesting perspectives on siblings and bickering. I thought it was interesting to hear that siblings don't affect self-esteem because they don't hold the power to destroy esteem the ways parents or outsiders do. Also other interesting stuff about esteem and skills in the outside world. Loved this.
July 2, 2010
I am going to reserve passing judgement on this book until I read it, but if it can stop my two urchins from bickering constantly over everything, I will take this man out to dinner.
After reading it...good solid advice: stay out of it unless someone is going to get hurt. The jury is still out whether it'll actually work, so dinner for the author yet.
After reading it...good solid advice: stay out of it unless someone is going to get hurt. The jury is still out whether it'll actually work, so dinner for the author yet.
July 27, 2016
The method promoted here doesn't really end sibling bickering - it just takes the parent out of the middle of it. For the most part, I do agree with the author in letting kids work out their own disagreements as much as possible and only stepping in when necessary. It's a very different approach to parenting than what other books promote.
May 11, 2009
I guess the proof is in the pudding...I'll reserve judgment on the effectiveness of the theories until we've put the advice into practice a bit. It all made sense to me though and is totally counter to what we've been doing so I'm hopeful.
July 12, 2010
well, the book is ok, but probably better for those w/ young children. Somehow I don't think that asking my teen & tween if they "want a hug" while ignoring them will work. However, the ignoring & walking away DOES work!
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January 12, 2008Very helpful...
March 15, 2008
Easy to read with actual applicable examples.
July 17, 2010
Eh. Although some sound advice, which I implemented with success, overall, it was OK. I skipped through and read selected pages.
July 23, 2011
Very helpful. Very practical. Let's see if I can institute it!
May 12, 2016
Humorous, honest and practical.
October 29, 2016
Honestly, the book is based on a great and simple premise, but the writing was kind of painful.
February 5, 2016
I liked this. Easy quick read. good suggestions
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews