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I'm Sorry If I Scared You
The debut novel by award-winning writer and editor Mae Murray.
Thanksgiving 2010.
The world prepares for the first lunar eclipse to take place on the winter solstice since the year 1638. Crop circles, strange animals, disappearances, and UFOs permeate the empty countryside of the South.
Odette "Odie" Tucker is a first-generation college student, returning home from Boston to rural Arkansas for the holidays. On the drive home, she endures a pill-induced abortion in a gas station bathroom, the product of a recent rape she has told no one about. On a whim, she 'rescues' the clump of expelled cells in a plastic water bottle.
Upon her return home, Odie faces the suppressed feelings of abandonment from her family and lifelong best friend Dale, an out butch lesbian Odie is too afraid to admit she's in love with.
When Odie is possessed by her own disco-loving abortion, she begins to live vicariously through its complete embrace of life, love, sex, violence, and vengeance.
Thanksgiving 2010.
The world prepares for the first lunar eclipse to take place on the winter solstice since the year 1638. Crop circles, strange animals, disappearances, and UFOs permeate the empty countryside of the South.
Odette "Odie" Tucker is a first-generation college student, returning home from Boston to rural Arkansas for the holidays. On the drive home, she endures a pill-induced abortion in a gas station bathroom, the product of a recent rape she has told no one about. On a whim, she 'rescues' the clump of expelled cells in a plastic water bottle.
Upon her return home, Odie faces the suppressed feelings of abandonment from her family and lifelong best friend Dale, an out butch lesbian Odie is too afraid to admit she's in love with.
When Odie is possessed by her own disco-loving abortion, she begins to live vicariously through its complete embrace of life, love, sex, violence, and vengeance.
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Published June 4, 2024
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232 people want to read
About the author
Mae Murray
10 books61 followersMae Murray is a writer and editor hailing from Arkansas, now living in eerie New England. She contributes essays and film criticism to Fangoria.com and Dread Central. She is the recipient of the 2022 Brave New Weird Award for Superior Achievement in Short Fiction. The Book of Queer Saints Volume I was her editing debut and a 2023 British Fantasy Award nominee in the Best Anthology category. I'm Sorry If I Scared You is her debut novel.
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
January 6, 2025
This is a weird one. It has very raw moments, a completely wild imagery and a fair amount of poignancy which I liked and kept me reading even after a couple of fluids heavy (IMO) "spicy" scenes had me wanting to yeet the book (which I couldn't do because I was reading on my phone). But it also came across as disjointed at certain points and there were POV shifts that felt like they added nothing to the story.
November 26, 2024
Well, that was, something.
January 21, 2025
A compulsively readable and unpredictable story about grief, rage, growth, and acceptance. There’s some joy sprinkled in there too! Seriously though, if you’re bored of reading the typical horror tropes - I’m Sorry If I Scared You is literally out of this world. I’m saying it already, this is going to be a favorite of the year.
November 26, 2024
This book was such a creative concept and I honestly never knew what was coming next while reading it. My favorite aspect is that the bad guys get what they deserve, I loveee a revenge plot! Highly recommend everyone to check this out!
April 8, 2025
Review to come.
April 17, 2025
3.5. Really great viscerally uncomfortable body/pregnancy horror.
November 19, 2024
WTF! But in a good way!
I read this one in one sitting. Growing up in Appalachia I really enjoyed the characters, setting & especially Mae's writing. Its so creepy and weird but I liked it!
I read this one in one sitting. Growing up in Appalachia I really enjoyed the characters, setting & especially Mae's writing. Its so creepy and weird but I liked it!
November 12, 2024
Beautifully strange and compelling, a tale of real-world horrors, blinding feminine rage, and revenge as sweet as tea. Woven together with masterful southern-tinged prose, the threads of sexuality, supernatural forces, and violence build a tapestry of self-acceptance that will stick with you long after you've finished reading. Plus, there's a character called Big Dick Dwayne and he's just my favorite forever lol Highly recommend!
July 10, 2025
"I'm Sorry If I Scared You" takes place in 2010. The main character is Odie, a college student in Massachusetts going back home to Arkansas for Thanksgiving break. On the drive there, she gives herself a pill-induced abortion to get rid of the pregnancy forced upon her through rape. However, something compels her to place the aborted fetus into a water bottle and take it home with her. As she reunites with her father, brother, step-mother, and Dale, the childhood best friend she's in love with, the fetus gains not just sentience, but a lust for all the pleasures life can offer.
I thoroughly enjoyed the vast majority of this novel. Odie is such a wholly developed and relatable main character. Her constant fear of being open about her true wants and desires coupled with the need for being who she is openly and without shame was well-balanced, and the addition of Baby inspiring her to be wanton and hedonistic when she has suppressed herself was fun to see. Her budding back and forth relationship with Dale was also written well, like I really felt the genuine bond between the two of them and the frustration from Dale of Odie flirting with her and even kissing her but never committing was handled with empathy and love over Odie's relationship with her sexuality.
There were some perspective shifts that added nothing to the story and in fact just killed the pacing or removed narrative tension, but for the most part I thought they were employed well. All of Baby's point of view chapters were delightful to read as their awareness and understanding of the world around them grew, and how they grew to be a deeply loving supporter of Odie was touching. It was such a sweet way to show Odie's growing self confidence and refusal to hide from herself anymore. Another perspective shift was changing to Odie's point of view. Even though the story is narrated with Odie's perspective, it is done in third person, and it first changes to Odie talking in first person when she finally opens up to Dale about being raped. This shift was a brilliant way to show that she is not cutting herself off from what happened to her, that she is no longer refusing to directly acknowledge to herself what happened. It's a moment that has stuck with me.
If the focus of the novel had remained on Odie and Baby and their growing support of one another and of those around Odie, I think this would have been my favorite read of 2025 so far. Unfortunately, all the alien stuff just dragged it all down.
I cannot fathom what the point of the alien elements of the story were. Was it supposed to hint at Odie not actually belonging with people and instead belonging with aliens? Was Odie and Dale choosing to bring her brother to the aliens a metaphor for chosen family? If so, then what was the point of impregnating her father against his will and for the alien abductions of non-queer characters? What was the point of Dwayne getting vored by the alien and orgasming on it? All the alien segments just felt so disjointed and felt like they were a last minute explanation of why Baby was able to gain sentience in the first place. An explanation of Baby is not needed, and it would have been a much stronger ending had there not been a half-explained alien justification.
I thoroughly enjoyed the vast majority of this novel. Odie is such a wholly developed and relatable main character. Her constant fear of being open about her true wants and desires coupled with the need for being who she is openly and without shame was well-balanced, and the addition of Baby inspiring her to be wanton and hedonistic when she has suppressed herself was fun to see. Her budding back and forth relationship with Dale was also written well, like I really felt the genuine bond between the two of them and the frustration from Dale of Odie flirting with her and even kissing her but never committing was handled with empathy and love over Odie's relationship with her sexuality.
There were some perspective shifts that added nothing to the story and in fact just killed the pacing or removed narrative tension, but for the most part I thought they were employed well. All of Baby's point of view chapters were delightful to read as their awareness and understanding of the world around them grew, and how they grew to be a deeply loving supporter of Odie was touching. It was such a sweet way to show Odie's growing self confidence and refusal to hide from herself anymore. Another perspective shift was changing to Odie's point of view. Even though the story is narrated with Odie's perspective, it is done in third person, and it first changes to Odie talking in first person when she finally opens up to Dale about being raped. This shift was a brilliant way to show that she is not cutting herself off from what happened to her, that she is no longer refusing to directly acknowledge to herself what happened. It's a moment that has stuck with me.
If the focus of the novel had remained on Odie and Baby and their growing support of one another and of those around Odie, I think this would have been my favorite read of 2025 so far. Unfortunately, all the alien stuff just dragged it all down.
I cannot fathom what the point of the alien elements of the story were. Was it supposed to hint at Odie not actually belonging with people and instead belonging with aliens? Was Odie and Dale choosing to bring her brother to the aliens a metaphor for chosen family? If so, then what was the point of impregnating her father against his will and for the alien abductions of non-queer characters? What was the point of Dwayne getting vored by the alien and orgasming on it? All the alien segments just felt so disjointed and felt like they were a last minute explanation of why Baby was able to gain sentience in the first place. An explanation of Baby is not needed, and it would have been a much stronger ending had there not been a half-explained alien justification.
June 23, 2025
I’m so glad I found this book at this moment. This sapphic, surreal, sad, and hilarious book is an absolute must read. From the immediate hook of the found footage style opening to the hell yes catharsis of the ending, I absolutely loved this book.
Odie is in a pretty terrible position when this book starts. On her way home to Arkansas from Massachusetts for Thanksgiving, Odie finds herself having a pill induced abortion in a gas station after being raped at college. I know this is really heavy and disturbing but Murray is such an excellent writer and handles this all with beautiful empathy and care.
On a whim, Odie puts the remains in a water bottle and takes them home to Arkansas with her. There she reunites with her best friend Dale, an amazing woman and fantastic character and old flame Dwayne, a really decent guy. Odie is secretly and completely in love with Dale, but her homophobic father makes it difficult .
What follows is a tale of following your body and heart, found family, and vengeance that you will absolutely race through. I finished it in two sittings, and will remember so many scenes and moments, but it’s the love that these characters have for each other that I’ll remember the most. The idea that real family are the people you choose and choose you, whether that’s your biological brother or someone you meet and can depend on at your lowest moment.
If you’re looking for a fantastic queer horror to end Pride month with, I would 100% recommend I’m Sorry If I Scared You by Mae Murray.
Odie is in a pretty terrible position when this book starts. On her way home to Arkansas from Massachusetts for Thanksgiving, Odie finds herself having a pill induced abortion in a gas station after being raped at college. I know this is really heavy and disturbing but Murray is such an excellent writer and handles this all with beautiful empathy and care.
On a whim, Odie puts the remains in a water bottle and takes them home to Arkansas with her. There she reunites with her best friend Dale, an amazing woman and fantastic character and old flame Dwayne, a really decent guy. Odie is secretly and completely in love with Dale, but her homophobic father makes it difficult .
What follows is a tale of following your body and heart, found family, and vengeance that you will absolutely race through. I finished it in two sittings, and will remember so many scenes and moments, but it’s the love that these characters have for each other that I’ll remember the most. The idea that real family are the people you choose and choose you, whether that’s your biological brother or someone you meet and can depend on at your lowest moment.
If you’re looking for a fantastic queer horror to end Pride month with, I would 100% recommend I’m Sorry If I Scared You by Mae Murray.
April 3, 2025
Wow... wow. I'M SORRY IF I SCARED YOU absolutely blew me away. A tender love story wrapped inside a twisted revenge fantasy and shot through with the quirky cosmic weirdness of the rural south, Mae Murray's impeccably written debut is by turns raw, disturbing, grotesque, hauntingly beautiful, sexy AF, and utterly heart wrenching. Odette Tucker is a character for the ages: vulnerable, wounded, fiercely queer, whip-smart, fed up, and filled with a righteous rage that leads her - and the reader - to some dark, dark places. Not for the faint of heart. Buckle up - it's one hell of a ride.
Best book I've read in ages. I genuinely loved it. Mae Murray is a talent to watch. I expect great things from her!
Best book I've read in ages. I genuinely loved it. Mae Murray is a talent to watch. I expect great things from her!
December 13, 2024
Mae's writing is spectacularly rich, vibrant, and filled with sensory appeal. How she illustrates the beauty and complexity of the American South from a queer's perspective is beautiful. I love how Mae highlights the challenges of coming home to family you dearly love but still deeply struggle with. The plot is BUCK WILD and cathartic in the best of ways.
If you're a Southern queer, someone who grew up poor, and/or who loves vibrant weird horror I think you'll enjoy this one. Both a wonderful ride and an incredible destination.
If you're a Southern queer, someone who grew up poor, and/or who loves vibrant weird horror I think you'll enjoy this one. Both a wonderful ride and an incredible destination.
July 27, 2025
The author has put all toxic men on notice - a slice is ready for you and your pie hole 🥧 should you deserve it!!!
Ladies - come see how a pie can satisfy your societal Susie home maker pressures but in the VERY BEST WAY! 😉
I’m Sorry If I Scared You has grief horror, queer horror, alien horror, toxic men horror, etc. Mae gives a voice to women’s trauma and slickly and sexually exacts revenge and empowerment throughout…page after page!
A brilliant book that will hit audiences where they’ve wanted to see change, discussion around violence against women, and so much more!
Ladies - come see how a pie can satisfy your societal Susie home maker pressures but in the VERY BEST WAY! 😉
I’m Sorry If I Scared You has grief horror, queer horror, alien horror, toxic men horror, etc. Mae gives a voice to women’s trauma and slickly and sexually exacts revenge and empowerment throughout…page after page!
A brilliant book that will hit audiences where they’ve wanted to see change, discussion around violence against women, and so much more!
January 17, 2025
One of my favorite reads of 2024! Weird, gross, and wonderful. It has a very careful and intimate portrayal of Arkansas/The South, and balances romanticizing some aspects of living in the region while also offering some valid criticism. The characters are all engaging and interesting, and the prose is masterful, weaving together a narrative about violence, sexuality, and fear of the unknown.
This is a great book if you like Samantha Kolesnik's work, or Ali Seay's Go Down Hard.
This is a great book if you like Samantha Kolesnik's work, or Ali Seay's Go Down Hard.
December 2, 2024
Beautifully realized characters whose ride or die relationships feel authentic and earned. If you grew up poor and rural you will see a lot of yourself here. The prose is rock solid with weirdness pushing at all sides and plenty of surprises.
July 25, 2025
Strangeness, abjection, and female rage are the beating heart of this compelling debut. Working class, queer, and unapologetically visceral, Murray never loses the threads of heart and fun in her exploration of violence and alienation.
November 26, 2024
This book had a completely different approach to all things creepy!
December 17, 2024
I don't know exactly what I expected, but I don't think I ever could have come up with this. Absolutely bonkers. No notes.
December 28, 2024
This was so damn bizarre in the best possible way. Gross and heartbreaking, but also really beautiful.
April 25, 2025
A lot of heart, an unhinged plot, diehard friends and aliens. Some body horror. Some activating situations but also revenge. It's weird, it's gritty, it's a wild ride.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 5, 2024
Originaly I rated this lower but a friend of mine told me some background information that changed my mind. Moving to four stars. Still not for me but am taking things to account.
March 24, 2025
I started I’m Sorry if I Scared You while recovering from a salpingectomy. One of my biggest phobias is getting pregnant and giving birth, and with Roe v. Wade being overturned in 2022 and the current administration’s war on birth control, I wasn’t taking any chances. And post-sterilization seemed like a good time to read a Southern rape revenge story about a sentient fetus and the occasional space alien.
This was a weird ass book, and I mean that in the best way possible. I wish I could give more away, but since it’s short, I don’t want to spoil anything. Two of the book’s major themes are police violence and sexual assault (which feels especially poignant in today’s political environment) and it’s satisfying to read about Odie getting her revenge on both the cops and her rapist. A satisfying and sick fantasy since we so rarely get justice in the real world. I liked that there was polyamorous representation and we get to see what it’s like to be queer in a red state. It’s also refreshing to see Murray subvert “hixploitation” horror (examples include films such as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, Motel Hell, and Wrong Turn). Here it’s not the “hillbillies” who are the source of horror, but the rich college kid and corrupt cops.
This was a weird ass book, and I mean that in the best way possible. I wish I could give more away, but since it’s short, I don’t want to spoil anything. Two of the book’s major themes are police violence and sexual assault (which feels especially poignant in today’s political environment) and it’s satisfying to read about Odie getting her revenge on both the cops and her rapist. A satisfying and sick fantasy since we so rarely get justice in the real world. I liked that there was polyamorous representation and we get to see what it’s like to be queer in a red state. It’s also refreshing to see Murray subvert “hixploitation” horror (examples include films such as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, Motel Hell, and Wrong Turn). Here it’s not the “hillbillies” who are the source of horror, but the rich college kid and corrupt cops.
January 17, 2025
I'm Sorry If I Scared You is fantastic - wild and gross and angry and sadly far too relevant to our modern hellscape
If a queer Southern rape-revenge horror story sounds like your jam, get you this
If a queer Southern rape-revenge horror story sounds like your jam, get you this
December 20, 2024
Murray writes with a sincerity that is so engrossing it seeps into your bones. The American South in all its splendor and misery. The relief of finding those pockets of hope, of messy, sticky love---of knowing that if nothing matters, you might as well keep going
February 25, 2025
Truly one of the most unabashedly weird books I’ve ever read, and so compulsive— I was totally hooked by the writing from start to finish. A messy, queer, beautiful southern revenge tale with a dash of aliens. I had such a good time!
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews