Modern Civility: Etiquette for Dealing with Annoying, Angry, and Di

by Cynthia W. Lett

Here are hundreds and hundreds of real people’s most common complaints and the proper responses to them. Written by an eminent etiquette expert, it is a guide to how to behave well and, more importantly, how to respond to bad behavior.What are the right rules for the coffee machine at work? Why do husbands always drink from the milk carton? Why are so many retail clerks rude? This book explains the reasons behind—and, more importantly, explains the proper responses to—all the most common irritations. Whether you are the matriarch of an unruly family trying to keep order, or an office worker just trying to figure out how to deal with pushy or messy colleagues, this is a book for you. It’s as funny as it is useful.

Genres: Nonfiction, Personal Development

269 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 2, 2014

Reviews

[Nancy · Rating 2 out of 5]

With a title like this, I was hoping this book would give me a few simple yet elegant phrases to throw at people when they forget how civilized people should behave in public; like when a person sits on your desk trying to see your computer screen as you help them, or perhaps they try to slyly insult you by implying you're old/young/fat/skinny/slovenly/etc while attempting to look innocent because they're only pointing out the obvious. Or my favorite: what do you do when someone is in the next bathroom stall talking loudly on the phone. Gross!!! What about my "me" time in there! I don't want someone else's conference call listening in on me while I do my business!

Well, it turns out there's no easy answer for these situations. But what is easy to see is that people are annoyed by everything and everyone. It's not just me! People are mad if you pick fuzz or hair off them in an attempt to help. They get mad if a cashier hands their change to them with coins on top of bills. They get mad at their spouse snoring. They get mad if someone at work cuts a piece of food in half and leaves the other half for the next person. Most of this book teaches that you can't control other people's behavior. So don't even try to do it. It won't work. And some of the retorts listed are rather snarky. But I've come to the conclusion that this book about dealing with annoying, angry, and difficult people, is actually written for the annoying, angry, and difficult reader.

The best part of this book was at the very beginning where the author suggests you get in the habit of playing your own internal laugh track when people misbehave. It's easier to smile good-naturedly, shake your head and shrug it off if you diminish the weight of the action by internally laughing at it instead. Oh that Cynthia Lett, she gets me every time! *wagging my finger at the author and smiling mischievously at her*

[Amber Johnson · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is set up in categories for random things people find annoying from chewing gum to not cleaning up after dinner and how to address these complaints. Most of the solutions seemed like common sense- more or less just respectfully addressing it or ignoring the issue. Probably because many of the complaints were minor issues. I found this book to be mostly common sense, but it could be helpful for a teenager or young adult learning these skills.

[Emma · Rating 2 out of 5]

When I saw this title in the eBook library, I thought 'fantastic! I definitely need advice or practices to employ when I have to deal with X, Y or Z'. Man, was I wrong. Most of the advice was either 'shrug it off, there's nothing you can do about that', 'praise the person when they get it right' (which doesn't help if the issue is that they *won't* do something, so how can you praise them for doing it?), or comical and snarky responses that whilst funny to read, cannot actually be applied in real life. Was disappointed that I didn't learn anything after reading the whole book. In the end: promising, but a letdown :(

[Carianne Carleo-Evangelist · Rating 2 out of 5]

Life is too short to be offended by everything, and every human foible seems to bother the author and the people who wrote in. I want to start a sentence with "there" and "I" just to irk her.
It was an amusing and quick/light read, but etiquette mixed with personal pet peeves rather than actual rules.

[Jennifer Rouse · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book to read if you need some tips on how to deal with the actions of others that may bother you. It either boils down to communicating needs or learning to let go and move on. The choice is yours in how you choose to react as you can't change the behaviors of others.

[Queenie Gultia · Rating 1 out of 5]

It took everything in me to actually finish this book. Some of the issues that were brought up were how we can control ourselves when we are annoyed by other people’s clothing or fashion choice. The author came out sexist when they made their own personal list of annoying behavior when they’ve stated, “Girls with pants so tight they look painted on-especially when they don’t have a body to support such revelation (pg. 30).” Not only did she sexualized the body of someone underage, she also pointed out that you shouldn’t be wearing clothes that wouldn’t be considered sexy on you.

The book is also Eurocentric with how people should behave and dress i.e. don’t wear a hat in a restaurant. On page 38 she actually made a comment at a restaurant where she didn’t appreciate that another customer was wearing a hat during their meal and reflected improper etiquettes.

She also thought that fist bumps are inappropriate in work settings and customer service representative should thank it’s customer each time a customer even thought of going to their store. It would be nice for employees to say thank you but I believe shouldn’t be mandatory.

[Jason · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was terrible. I would be more descriptive about my review but it wouldn't be worth my time. Sorry.

[Julie Cordova · Rating 1 out of 5]

It was ok but not what I was hoping for.