Three to Get Married

by Fulton J. Sheen

Fulton J. Sheen Back in print after decades, the one of the great 20th-century communicators and best-known Catholic preachers and apologists delivers an incisive look at right and wrong notions about sex and love. This work is an excellent moral preparation for marriage. In addition to presenting the causes of and solutions to crises in marriage, the author concludes with touching real-life stories of the transformation of lives through marriage. The ultimate aim of this work is to show that our Blessed Lord is to be the third and primary person in every marriage if it is to be a successful, loving marriage. Table of Contents: The Difference between Sex and Love Our Vital Energies What Love Is The Three Tensions of Love It Takes Three to Make Love Love Is Triune Unfolding the Mystery Purity: Reverence for Mystery The Dignity of the Body Marriage and the Spirit The Great Mystery The Unbreakable Bond Generation Paternity Motherhood The Role of Children Mary, Motherhood, and the Home The Dark Night of the Body For Better or for Worse Love's Reaction to Loss Love Endureth Forever

Genres: Catholic, Marriage, Theology, Religion, Faith, Christian, Nonfiction

216 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1951

About the author

Fulton John Sheen was an American bishop of the Catholic Church known for his preaching and especially his work on television and radio. Ordained a priest of the Diocese of Peoria in Illinois, in 1919, Sheen quickly became a renowned theologian, earning the Cardinal Mercier Prize for International Philosophy in 1923. He went on to teach theology and philosophy at the Catholic University of America in Washington, D.C. and served as a parish priest before he was appointed auxiliary bishop of the Archdiocese of New York in 1951. He held this position until 1966 when he was made bishop of the Diocese of Rochester in New York. He resigned as bishop of Rochester in 1969 as his 75th birthday approached and was made archbishop of the titular see of Newport, Wales.
For 20 years as "Father Sheen", later monsignor, he hosted the night-time radio program The Catholic Hour on NBC (1930–1950) before he moved to television and presented Life Is Worth Living (1952–1957). Sheen's final presenting role was on the syndicated The Fulton Sheen Program (1961–1968) with a format that was very similar to that of the earlier Life Is Worth Living show. For that work, Sheen twice won an Emmy Award for Most Outstanding Television Personality, and was featured on the cover of Time magazine. Starting in 2009, his shows were being re-broadcast on the EWTN and the Trinity Broadcasting Network's Church Channel cable networks. His contribution to televised preaching resulted in Sheen often being called one of the first televangelists.
The cause for his canonization was officially opened in 2002. In June 2012, Pope Benedict XVI officially recognized a decree from the Congregation for the Causes of Saints stating that he lived a life of "heroic virtues," a major step towards beatification, and he is now referred to as venerable. On July 5, 2019, Pope Francis approved a reputed miracle that occurred through the intercession of Sheen, clearing the way for his beatification. Sheen was scheduled to be beatified in Peoria on December 21, 2019, but his beatification was postponed after Bishop Salvatore Matano of Rochester expressed concern that Sheen's handling of a 1963 sexual misconduct case against a priest might be cited unfavorably in a forthcoming report from the New York Attorney General. The Diocese of Peoria countered that Sheen's handling of the case had already been "thoroughly examined" and "exonerated" and that Sheen had "never put children in harm's way".

Reviews

[Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this era of mass confusion about sexuality and marriage, this book is a must-read for anyone, but it definitely should be required reading for engaged couples preparing for marriage. Simply brilliant. Now if I could just convince Sarah that we should add "Fulton" to our list of future baby names!

It's difficult to pick one quote; my highlighter went dry on this book. But here is a taste from Chapter 9 on The Dignity of the Body.

"The disciplining of the errant impulses of the body when they initiate against the soul and its destiny in no way implies a disrespect for the body, any more than putting a bridle in a horse's mouth means a disrespect for the horse. It is merely a means of bringing out the best that is in it for the sake of the master. The bridling of passions in like manner is for the sake of bringing out the best that is in man for the sake of the Divine Master! If there had been no disharmony in man because of the original rebellion against God, there would be no need of taming the body."

[Janelle Wheeler · Rating 4 out of 5]

It took me a very long time to read this book. Fulton Sheen has a unique way of getting his points across, but it’s worth the effort to understand. I feel like I have a much stronger grasp of what marriage entails and how it is possible to be sanctified in it. My favorite chapter was by far “Love’s Reaction to Loss.” Absolutely stunning. Give it a read!

[Alexis · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 rounded to 5. A five month read because it is very dense and rich. Impossible to read thoroughly in a short time because so much of it I just had to let steep for a while. Sometimes a little repetitive & some things I felt “???????” about, but when it was a 5, it was a DANG 5.

Truly though, this is the kind of marriage that I am hoping for and walking toward!!!!

[Aaron Crofut · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started this book expecting a slim self-help concerning marriage and ended up neck deep in ontology and the teleological ends of existence, watched a brutal takedown of the materialistic viewpoint (especially in regards to marriage, the treatment of women, and of maintaining civil society) and ended up taking months to finish a 200 page book that I was actively reading.

I told the priest I've been working with on the catechism that this book did more to bring me to the Church than the books offered for that specific purpose. It's dense, but one can tell the Archbishop enjoyed writing this book. His personality truly shines through the complex topics.

I would recommend this to anyone. As I say, books are the food and training of the mind, and this one will be a workout.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book and I underlined so many passages because I plan on going back to the text to read several of these passages again. I never would have thought that a priest could truly understand marriage to write a book about love in a marriage and having God in a marriage. I am totally wrong. I would have to say that most people know much less than Fulton Sheen about marriage and I am including people who are already married.

I think everyone could only grow in love and faith by reading this book. Matthew is reading it now and I am going to pass it around my family for them to read.

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s hard to put into words how much I loved this book. Fulton Sheen has the most beautiful thoughts and reflection on the human person and marriage. I don’t know how he comes up with the things he says (Holy Spirit?!). So many good lines I could drop. Long story short, you should read this book and discover how the natural aspects of marriage reflect the supernatural. God’s design is CRAZY awesome

[Sean · Rating 5 out of 5]

A little theology, anyone? Best. . .book. . .ever on the subject of marriage, sexuality, love, human relationships, and what role God plays in human love. Truly a book that will change your life.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone should read this book:,) at least once in their life:,) I hope to re-read this book many more times during my marriage to ev boy 🤌🏼🫶🏼

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Warning: deceptively small book. Just before reading this book I acquired the habit of underlining exceptional passages in my books. After underlining all of the first three pages I decided, for the sake of the aesthetic integrity of the book (and because Fulton Sheen says you haven't read a book until you've read it twice, and I was making it unreadable), that I would stop underlining. Sentence after sentence contains powerful ideas. Bishop Sheen is too popular for academic theologians, but this book proves a good communicator doesn't mean a communicator of simple ideas.

[Chad Leleux · Rating 5 out of 5]

holy guacamole

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love Fulton Sheen but personally I found this book of his to be a bit too philosophical for my own taste, and very repetitive, and hard to concentrate on, but that is probably just me- I prefer lighter reads. The content is good, though. The philosophy is interwoven with quotes of poetry! The author is clearly in love with and well-versed in his subject matter.

[Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sublime.

[Rachael Shipard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Only took me almost 2 years to finish 😂 very dense but definitely worth it. Fulton Sheen covers every aspect of Christian marriage, beginning with Divine Unity and Love displayed through the unity, moving through fatherhood and motherhood, the gift of children, difficulties and perseverance in marriage, ending in the endurance of Love through loss.

Although it’s often recommended as a marriage prep book, somehow I think it makes more sense reading it on this side of marriage.

‘Great depths of true wisdom are hidden in the heart of those parents who always say their night prayers before the crib of the last-born child. In that as yet wordless Word, they see not the increase of their image but the very image and likeness of God. With the crib seen as a tabernacle and the child as a kind of host, then the home becomes a living temple of God. The sacristan of that sanctuary is the mother, who never permits the tabernacle lamp of faith to go out.’ P159

[Luke Prohaska · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent. A new (or maybe old??🤔😳) way of seeing marriage as it ought to be—a movement from loving the other because you get something out of it towards loving them for their sake to the culmination of loving them simply for God’s sake. The middle felt redundant and rambling at times, and the book can show its age when approaching topics like psychology. However, there is so much wisdom here. The beginning is rife with theology of the body, and the end was striking on how even difficult marriages can be sanctifying and fulfilling. Superb prep for marriage. Highly recommend for those discerning marriage or for already married couples to get back to the basics.

[Olivia Terryberry · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5⭐️ it took a couple chapters to get into the meat of the book but once we got there it was really good! I felt like it really deepened my understanding of marriage!

[James Lydon · Rating 4 out of 5]

"If the spark is so great, oh, what must be the flame!"

Some chapters were 1 star. Others were 5 stars. Overall great book.

[Marie Brousseau · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recommend this classic by Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen. My husband and I were given this book to read while we were engaged, by a very dear friend. It explains how God is at the heart of the marriage between one man and one woman. By allowing a place for God, the couple will have the much needed help and support they need to build their life together, and grow in love and devotion. Written in 1951, it is still very relevant today, and for generations to come. 5 stars

[Anne Frain · Rating 5 out of 5]

Would recommend to any couple trying to live out a holy relationship and discern marriage - so good

[Marie Marcalus · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly only a bonafide saint could have written this. Best marriage prep in a nutshell

[Maddie Zehner · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you can wade through all of the mumbo jumbo, there are some great nuggets of gold in here. Discussing the chapters with James is what made this book well worth the read!

[Kara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm getting married next June, and after we got engaged, my fiancé's dad gave us each copies of this book to read. I'm really glad that he did, because the book was very thought-provoking and I think that it had a lot of good insight as to what a strong Catholic marriage should be like. It is definitely difficult to get through - I'm a fast reader, but this took me a full five months to get through because my mind kept wandering at some parts. There were some chapters that I felt were very strong - the chapter "For Better or For Worse" is particularly relevant nowadays, in my opinion, because it reminds the reader that marriage is supposed to be forever, and in a world where divorce is increasingly common, I think this is a very important chapter to read. This book did get a bit preachy, which I suppose is to be expected given its nature. A major issue that I had with this book is that I'm honestly not sure how relevant it is anymore. While it definitely makes good points, it was written over sixty years ago, before Vatican II, and I know that a lot of things about the Church has changed since this book was published. So I think that the very best thing about this book is that it's made me want to read a Catholic book on marriage that is more up-to-date, and I don't think that would have even occurred to me had I not read this book. I'm definitely going to be looking for some this summer. Another thing about this book that I think is really great is it emphasized the huge role that faith should have in a successful marriage. I think that's definitely something that could be improved in my relationship and I'm glad that this book got me thinking about it.

So, overall, I'd say that while reading this book certainly couldn't hurt engaged couples, I'm sure that there are other Catholic books about marriage that are more recent and more enjoyable to read that have just as strong content.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I was preparing for my marriage to my husband I read this book and it just set things straight for me. In society we are caught up in the rush that we forget what our vocation is in life. I found this book was a real wake up call for me and I loved reading it. What I love is, it shows a priest does not need to be married to understand marriage. I love this book and recommend it to everyone whether you are married, thinking about getting married in the future or anyone who wants to understand marriage the way God intended it to be.

[Bailey L. · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has many good ideas and meditations on marriage that I have not seen presented in this way elsewhere. Ultimately though this book is a bit of a slog … Or maybe it’s just me being tired in our raising littles stage …

It is not to say that it is not worth reading, but that you need to prepare yourself for intense focus when you do read it. I would not hand this out to any engaged/dating/married couple for that reason. However, there are many good ideas in here that we will use in dating class curriculum going forward.

All that aside, I really don’t think I’m overstating what I’m about to say. If every engaged couple course and marriage conference made everybody read chapters 18 and 19, there would be less divorce in this world. These 24 pages should be required reading every 5 or 10 years of marriage, with accompanying discussion with partner and other couples about how each person is guarding themselves against the things he’s warning about. They are more or less encapsulated in the below quote.

“What is called “love” today is often nothing more than a confused mixture of sentimental pathos, disguised egotism, Freudian complexes, frustrated living, and weakness of character.”

Unfortunately the book really was too long. It felt exhausting at times. Simply more paragraph breaks would have helped. But there was so much wisdom in it as a whole, everyone should probably just read it. Just know there are some long parts and also some strange metaphors that don’t make much sense here and there.

I’ll put a few quotes here that I thought were 💯:
“The decline in the permanence of family life is therefore intrinsically bound up with a decline in democracy”
“Love is the cause of everything we do. The subjects we talk about, the persons we hate, the ideals we pursue, the things that make us angry, they are indicators of our hearts. Few realize how much they betray their characters in revealing what their hearts love most.“
“There are perhaps few more touchingly, beautiful spectacles in all the world than that of a husband and a wife saying their prayers together.”

[Caroline · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible!

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book for those discerning marriage, either singles or couples, but also for married couples. Amazing writing style of Fulton Sheen as usual.

[Paul]

yes we finished this before the wedding. a bit dense in the early theological parts but some good practical stuff throughout.

[Richard Grebenc · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful work from a master of philosophy, theology, and spiritual advice. It is not a book that I would present to most engaged couples unless one or both are avid readers with a specific interest in the topic and above average learning and intellectual capacity.

Sheen covers all areas one would expect: love, sex, parenthood, children, "For Better of For Worse," and even a late chapter on historical couples persevering through major trials for the sake of their marriage.

To be sure, just about anyone would be able to find golden nuggets in these pages, but most would not want to work through Sheen's scholarly approach to find them. This works best in the hands of someone willing to wrestle with the book who can then provide an accessible overview with key sections and quotes to those preparing for marriage (although I would add that anyone could benefit from this -- engaged, married, celibate religious, or those dealing with married couples). So it it ideal as a source for marriage prep classes even if you will not necessarily want to pass them out.

You can never go wrong with Bp. Sheen. Fulton J. Sheen, ora pro nobis!

[John Mellody · Rating 5 out of 5]

We based our marriage and adoption on this. A marriage cannot survive without God as the 3rd person. His concept that all marriages must be fecund (fruitful) showed me of the need to be other centered and choose to adopt which has been the greatest gift to our marriage.

[Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bishop Sheen is an absolute treasure. A must-read for people seriously discerning marriage or anyone who wants to know what marriage really is & how it relates to God & His Church.

No detailed review because anything anyone writes about this gem of a book will never be enough.

[Collin Bass · Rating 5 out of 5]

Deepest theological book on marriage - read this book to better understand God’s will for the perfect union!

Three to Get Married
By Venerable Bishop Fulton Sheen


A few highlights:

“Two glasses that are empty cannot fill up one another. There must be a fountain of water outside the glasses, an order that they may have communion with one another. It takes three to make love.” 4

“Sex asked science to defend it; Love never asks ‘why?’ it says, ‘I love you.’ “ 5

“If sex were as “natural“ as the sex psychologist assume it is, there should never be associated with it sense of shame.” 11

“No one sins against Love without hurting himself.” 12

“The prodigal son was right and being hungry; he was wrong in living on husks. Man is right in trying to fill up his life, his mind, his body, his house with what is good; he may be wrong, perhaps in what he chooses as a good.” 15

“ the need for God never disappears. Those who deny the existence of water are still thirsty, and those who deny God still want him in their craving for beauty and love and peace, which he alone is.” 32

“ Love is the basic passion of man. Every emotion of the human heart is reducible to it.” 40

“Probing into the depths of our ego to find peace is too often like plunging into a pool without water.” 42

“No one can love himself properly unless he knows why he is living.” 42

“Love is the soul’s last habitation.” 61

“Love is an eternal mutual self gift; the recovery in the flesh, or in the soul, or in heaven, of all that was given and surrendered. In love, no fragment is lost.” 67

“The Christian marriage is the deepening of a mystery in two ways: first in the raising of a family, and a secondly, in the ascension of love.” 68

“Purity is reverence paid to the mystery of sex.” 80

“No one would plant flowers in a wintry December. He would wait on Gods will for the season, however great is his impatience.” 86

“Our minds at birth are like blank sheets of paper; our eyes, ears, sense of touch write their impressions on the infant’s mind… as it is not sex but man who mates, so it is not intelligence but man who thinks.” 93

“The glory of each soul will shine through the body as a glass reveals the color of the liquid poured into it.” 98

“Man and woman marry to make one another happy, but they never can do this until they have agreed on what happiness is.” 109

“Neither mother nor father really knows what strength each has until the child comes to prove it.” 137

“Love does not mean merely the joy to possess; it means also the will to see a new life born out of that love.” 142

“With the crib seen as a tabernacle and the child as a kind of host, then the home becomes a living temple of god. The sacristan of that sanctuary is the mother, who never permits the tabernacle lamp of faith to go out.” 159

“ no creature can create his own mother.” 160
- but Jesus did.
- In the pursuit of his own earthly life, the god of the universe designed his most perfect woman, to raise him, guide him, lead him and form in him the man he ought to be.

“One of the greatest mistakes the human heart can make is to seek pleasure as a goal of life.” 176